IndianaLee

Thank you. I'll do so. I apologize, but I just saw this. I've been so busy. Trying to make a living. :-) Do I need a name? If so, can you send it to me at my email addy? [email protected] and let me know you're on here and you're refering me. I get a lot of junk mail. Thanks and I really appreciate it. Tim

Thank you. I'll check it out. I appreciate it. Tim

Hello. I'm sure this has been asked before and if so I apologize as I didn't see it. But, where can I find information about a therapists background such as success, and recommendations from clients etc? Anyone have any good recommendations on a good place to start finding a therapists for childhood trauma, etc,? I mean, I realize I can use the web, but I thought there might be some org's I'm not sure about that might have listings or something for good therapists? Thanks in advance. Tim

I was young when I went in and I wish I'd never done so. It's amazing that they use the young to murder others. Now, don't get me wrong, there are times one has to defend one's self, but the military is about something else. Anyway, PTSD is very real. I don't have it, but I do have ME and they say the same thing about it. I'd love for some of these folks that say this to feel the physical pain and exertion I feel when having symptoms, especially when they say this, although I'd never wish this on anyone. He has no idea what he's talking about. Sure there are people that fake things, but this doesn't mean obviously that all of them do. Besides, the military fights such claims with vigor after you're out of active service especially. Theyre' done with you at that point you might as well say for all practical purposes. It's too bad the military is so attractive to young men, but this is because of other issues obviously such as parenting and the economy / state, etc,. Tim

Hi Matthew.

I believe women do most of the choosing. At least it seems that way to me from tradition if nothing else. I'm not sure there are any studies I've seen about this though. Interesting. :-)

This is so refreshing to hear. Good luck to you two! I think that's true for sure as far as guys not paying attention to light and taking many pics, etc,. I used to take pics of myself as photography is a sorta hobby. So, when I took photo's of me playing my guitar or doing something it for sure seemed like I was received a lot better by women. Interesting for sure. I think biology makes us seek the most attractive we can initially at least. I think women are actually much more forgiving in some ways than men. Men know exactly what they want as far as a girl looks. I mean it's really pretty simple. She has to be attractive and have physical attributes. Now, I'm 53, and I know of women that tell me that they find attractive something weird like a voice or a stance, etc,. I don't know how many times I have been told that my deep voice is sexy or something. Not trying to brag, but it's interesting. It's true too that women don't like short men for some reason. I suspect it has something to do with hunting and gathering or something back when we were humping in the night. Tall men might have had better luck at hunting or resource gathering or something. I'm not sure. Maybe not, just my observation about the whole thing. I'm 5. 11 1/2" and I get told all the time I'm tall by gals. My best friend is like 5. 6 or 5.7 and can't buy a date, and he's very virtuous, kind, owns a business, (isn't rich or anything) and has it together. I think it's mostly to do with Biology and the way we are raised and our values for sure. Just my two pence. :-) Tim

Interesting question. I had children later in life as a guy at the age of 34, but my wife was 22. I'm glad I waited as I wasn't mature enough earlier in life. I'm not sure except it was a selfish thing maybe. I wanted them? I mean, I wanted copy's of myself. I wanted my gene's to continue and I wanted to be a father as my father was good to me, so I wanted my own to enjoy the fatherly love I received as well. (Never hit, was very supportive, etc, although he made some mistakes, but no one is perfect). Anyway, great question. Tim

Wow, so much to ponder. Great points. Thank you again! I'll for sure do what I can. I totally agree with all you said! Thank you. Tim

Because she's a woman, you have to make sure you have proof in the form of as everyone has stated her or most have in writing and camera, etc,. Do what you have to do, but you have the right to defend yourself against man or animal in any form. I wish you well and I hope you're ok. Tim

Very interesting. If anyone ever tries to tell me I must do something or I'm an idiot or "this is the only way to do something" then I'm immediately skeptical about their reasoning or agenda. Why are they so afraid of me finding out information is my worry. I mean, if something is true, it's true and opinion doesn't matter. :-) I can figure that out on my own, but I totally agree that we must encourage others via being kind. Just my humble two pence though. :-) Tim

Hey Ozone, I appreciate all the advice. I really do.. I have really tried to figure it out as far as the illness went. Hardest thing I've ever done. The pain and stiffness is so intense I wanted to die at times. I mean it's the worst pain I've ever experience over time. It's a constant thing and it's like having a fucking wet suit on that's 5 times too small. This isn't a matter of will, but just biology I guess, but I'm so much better now than I used to be with meds. The weight is the biggest issue and it's like you said for sure about the eating and exercise. Hence the reason I asked more about the yoga. I went to probably 12 docs all in all while I was still working in the IT field full time when I became ill, first they swore as they tested me over and over again I probably, but didn't know for sure that I had MS, then it was test after test and nuero after neuro, etc, and finally I went to a surgeon and pain doc and he's the one that did the Chronic Lyme testing, and others that finally game me some answers. He also encourages the counseling aspect and insures that drugs aren't the only things used for the management of the pain, etc,. The first docs kept telling me I was depressed, and I of course at the time didn't see it, and maybe still don't. I was making great money, was doing my thing, but I did have the self awareness I have now, but that was 12 years ago or more when I became ill. The big problem at the time was that I couldn't get out of pain long enough to concentrate on fixing any problems, etc, and I found out it was because of the laws that doctors are afraid to really treat people with Chronic pain and other problems. This is kind of what helped me find philosophy, etc, as I wanted to know why anyone would have this type of thought, etc,. as it wasn't rational at all to me and my current doc. Finally the same great doctor dx'd me with ME, and then later with ME and Chronic Lyme. He's been treating me for years now and I've at least been able to work part time, but it's struggle. Now of course, I'm wanting to make sure it's not just the Lyme, but I'm sure after learning more that the childhood trauma doesn't help of course. Anyway, I'm making progress, slowly, but surely! The Anger issues are pretty much under control unless someone really pushes my buttons and insists on being a dick, then the problem isn't getting angry if it's justified, but getting in a rage and saying things I wish I may not like later, etc, but I do have most of it under control I feel like but I'm for sure going to counsel much, much more. I'm looking into counseling now and it's just a little hard to find a good one here where I live, but I'll find one and will fix these problems of mental anxiety, but the physical thing is the thing that worries me as there is no cure from what I can see and learn about the illness. That doesn't mean I can't live a good life though. I just have to adjust. I've done much of that already. I'm going to continue to do so and more. Anyway, I just basically wanted to thank you very much. I really appreciate it. Tim

Zosha, I can tell you as a man that is 53 and thru hard experience that a man (or woman I'd guess) will have a harder time with demands or feeling like he's being demanded (even if not the case) for sex or anything else. I would for sure suggest you look into why you love each other and if you really do and what love means to you and if it's true love. I'm doing the same, and I wish you and your partner luck. Regards Tim

Ozone, Thank you for the answer. I questioned how much I was abused, but I remember very much my mother and father divorcing and my mother hitting me in the mouth, etc, when I was young. She abused my father in my opinion and then used the state to do so, and I look back now and I see that this may have happened because my Grandfather, her father was given away and I think to compensate (during depression) he worked his whole life very hard. He had 3 jobs at at time, and was a strict disciplinarian, to the point of not thinking of doing what it took to gain control. (Control Freak) to most of his kids (All 12) though one died as a baby. Yes, I had that many aunts and uncles. Now, he paid for them all and took good care of them financially, etc, and I think my mother took after him which makes sense. Later in life when I was younger about 15 and they divorced I remember she tried to hit me and it didn't work. I just took it and it moved her back and I guess that was that as she never tried it again. She realized she couldn't really hurt me. I didn't speak to her for years. She finally apologized and has tried to make it up to me and we are at least friends I should say. I think she did the best she could. I don't know how else to process this. Anyway, I'll try the journalling. I think I've forgiven myself mostly, but sometimes I still find that I get very angry. I used to hate or get rage at folks that would try to control me in anyway or manipulate me. I did some awful things to others and I now realize why (Childhood). Not that much, but a couple times drinking. I used to drink heavily from time to time, though I quit when I realized what I was doing and I never drank again for the most part and now because of health issues (Stomach Hernia). Besides I was turned off by the puke. LOL.. Just kidding.. Anyway, thank you so much. I really appreciate your help and knowledge. I'll look into what you're speaking of. Oh, I have terrible chronic pain and fatigue. It's been terrible and I gained a lot of weight. Normally I was about 170 lbs 5'11 1/2''. Now I'm 210 lbs. Would yoga help with this do you think? I'd like to quit taking meds although I'm not taking much. But, I do take some pain killers for the joint pain and stiffness, and another med for foggy problems with cognitive problems. I go to a specialists and he's a great guy. I do work part time. Enough to get by, but that's about it. I used to work in the IT field in the 90's but I became too ill to continue. Now I'm really working at a job that I'm over qualified I'm told. They are good enough to let me leave when needed and take off when needed as they are fine people and like me and I like them. Win win so to speak. :-) Sorry if this sounds like I'm rambling, I'm trying to do a couple things at once here, but again. Thank you sir. Anyone else that wants to to chime in with expertise or not, please do. I'm open to ideas and suggestions... Regards Tim

I thought this one was pretty good even if it wasn't meant to be. I'm a guitarists and love the guitar player in this band, although I doubt too many here know who he is. :-) That's ok! :-) Enjoy rock fans.

Hi, Very cool you lived in Indy. I also did of course. Do you live in Indiana now? Can you send me your video address? Thanks so much for writing back. I apologize for taking so long to answer, but I've been ill with a terrible flair. Regards .. Tim

Hi Folks. I'm pretty new here and I'm lurking for the most part, and mostly listen to Stefan via youtube. I'm hoping that this is the right place to post this question? I'm ill with Lyme disease, etc, and I have problems with my cognitive skills from time to time, so if I repeat myself or ask questions which are long, I apologize, but it's hard for me to explain things now days with this illness. Ok. Enough of that. I"m 53, and now that I look back, I'm seeing so much of what happened to me, and wondering what effect this has had on my choices in life as I"ve had a hard time although I've always worked hard, etc,. until I became ill, and felt successful and have had a good life in most ways. I guess I was always told to count my blessings when I was religious of course most of my life until recently. 12 years ago I became ill roughly, but docs can't figure out a physical reason after I spent many thousands of dollars and now am below poverty level, except I have tested positive twice for lyme and I used to hunt and live almost completely by my own grown food and harvested by hunting and fishing and had many ticks, etc,. So I did well, and worked as a software engineer in the IT field in the 90's and in the 2000's. About 2004 I became too ill to continue. I'm wondering about my choices now though, also did make some terrible choices with women. I was married three times. The last time only 3 months as she was so crazy and tried to poison me and I left and it took that long to get the divorce. No fault and was easy, but I wonder how I was fooled as I met her at a church of course.. I was always looking to find a woman that would of course be great looking, and wasn't like my mother who was very domineering and did spank me, humiliated me by calling me names, yelled, etc, etc. She has a apologized, and I know it was because she was going thru a divorce, etc, as my parents divorced when I was 15 roughly. Now that I look back, I was never hit but maybe once by my father and I remember he apologized after he did so, and he was always, always loving and good to me, but was ill himself later in life and was hospitalized in a mental institution. He was very religious and was raised by the same. My mother on the other hand was the hand that would put the hurt on you, but, she seemed, I always felt took great joy at humiliating me, saying things like you're just like your father and you're never going to be good, etc, etc,. and it seems that half my life I tried to do things that would make her happy, and sought out women like her and even though I did this, I wasn't trying to of course to do so, and actually thought I was doing the opposite. But, lately after listening to Stefan and many other topics, I'm considering counseling, and wondering how it would help ? Is there such a thing as being too old to get help? I'm no longer religious at all, and I totally get the NAP, etc, and love it. Love the Stefan video's. They're really opened my eyes. I'd like to know how to get rid of the guilt I feel at times because I became so angry and extremely abusive verbally, etc, etc, and still have anger problems, and how to continue to grow if that all makes sense. I just want to make sure my decisions from now on are not effected by violence in my life as a child. I hope that makes sense. Regards and thanks in advance. I hope this was ok to post here! Tim

Hi, Thank you for the info. I have some of the equipment you mention but don't have it all, but I think I could probably get by on the equipment I have except for my audio.. But, I wanted to thank you. I'm going to work now so I don't have time to study the resources here, but I will soon, and wanted to thank you for answering. Regards Tim

Hi folks. I'm pretty new here. I've just started learning and have a long way to go, but I"m on my way. Anyway, I'm wondering what is use by Stefan and Michael on the pod casts. I ask because I want to do something such as what Stefan does and ask for donations as I think my lessons on guitar and or computers would be beneficial and I like to teach, etc,. I come from the IT field, but became ill with chronic lyme disease / dx'd with the same after spending all my money on medical care, etc, and at the tender age of 53 find myself trying to make a living and not depend on the state. Although when I did make a decent living they stole loads of money from me. So, if anyone knows what camera's and mic's are used I'd really appreciate it. I don't see many camera's that have good abilities for using really good audio mic's such as used in recording studio's, etc, such as I've used when recording guitars such as Shure, and other good mic's. Also, I have a Mac and would like to know what software Stefan and Mike might use to help do the edits, align the video and audio, etc,. Thanks so much. I appreciate it very much. Love the video's and the forums and hope to study a lot and learn a lot. Regards Tim Indiana. USA (In case you're wondering) .. :-)

I totally agree.. I'm new here.. by the way if that makes any difference. :-) I'd for sure video tape the violence on her part and do what you have to do to defend yourself, but make sure you are yelling quit and stop assaulting me, etc,. and get proof with others around, because I don't believe that the police will take your side by default..