Tservitive

Hello Everyone, my name is Tripp. I am a 22 year old guy from Pittsburgh, PA, although I go to school in Upstate New York. My journey to FDR began about 6 years ago when I attended a semester long study abroad program in Switzerland during my sophomore year of high school. Prior to this event, I was well aware of the verbal abuse and threats in my family and some occasional physicality (ACE of 1), but it was during this program that I realized that my parents are manipulative and controlling. Three years later in college, I began to focus on self improvement free from the bonds of my parents. Initially, I was drawn to pursue women to fulfilled my need for attention. This was done through reading books by Tucker Max and getting into Pick-Up Artistry. I was never comfortable with the manipulation of the PUA field, but it lead me to develop ME+ for throwing parties and trying to fix "broken girls" in exchange for attention and affection. This opened me up to a relationship with an extremely manipulative girl who nearly shut me off from my rugby team and my friends at school. I spent the next year careful to guard my heart against further pain, pursuing a friends with benefits relationships with a girl who has had sex with a number of my friends. I then entered into my most recent relationship with a girl who I was consciously with because I knew I did not want to be alone. I was with her for four months and ignored the traumas of her past and I only broke up with her 9 months ago after my dad commanded me to break off the relationship. He wanted this not because he understood my emotional trauma, but rather because he didn't want me to "date a jew". Two days after I broke up with my ex, on July 6th, I stumbled upon Stef's lecture about circumcision and how children are hit 933 times/year. By this point, I had been a libertarian for about 1 month after being a conservative for most of my life. My transition to anarchy was pretty quick. Once exposed to the arguments, I felt like things made more sense rather than any sort of visceral reaction. It took me about 1 month after first discovering FDR to become an atheist since I still clung onto the idea of God. After about a week of sleepless night where I feared that a friend who claimed to have been possessed by a demon had sent his demon to me that I realized that I was being ridiculous. It took me three more days after first embracing atheism to finally feel comfortable to stay "God does not exist" out loud. Since the beginning of my senior year, this year, I initially believed that some of my closer friends were open to anarchy. The first semester saw me realize that promiscuous sex, excessive drinking, and and my "drinking friends" were unhealthy for me. I saw my grades on my history papers in one class decrease since I felt more comfortable writing against the professor's socialist views on history. It wasn't until this past winter that I began therapy, under the guise of "ADD management", lest I receive scorn from my parents like I did when I tried to go two years earlier. I have since encountered only one person in my immediate environment that was open to NAP and UPB and you can read more in this discussion board: https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/43354-help-i-like-this-girl/#entry396846 However, I have come to realize that even my best friend at school has been manipulating me by pretending to be open to anarchy to buy my friendship. Our relationship has been rocky ever since about two weeks ago when he supported the use of violence against me when I used the "Against Me" argument. At this point, I only have 2 months of school left, but I am afraid of how the people I thought I could trust have the composite to do harm to me. I've become more active on the board since February because I am tired of feeling alone with my false friends. I know that this will help me in the long run, but the immediate pain really sucks. Sorry for being so depressing. My goal is to be honest about my journey to FDR and to finally introduce myself after about a month of active participation on the board. I look forward to converse with everyone here on the board. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Stef talks about this topic with the final caller on podcast #2903, at least to some degree.

First off, I want to let you know that what happened between your parents was awful and I am sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic event. I think Stef's reason for pragmatism is that since the only real change we can have on this world is ending child abuse. In theory, it is important to follow UPB and NAP, but if the pursuit of these things will only provide child abuse then it stands to reason that one must make a decision based on the situation rather than the ideal course of action. His bridge metaphor is spot on. It is also important to note that there is far less to fear from religion than there is from the state. If a government is run by a God it's a theocracy, if the majority believe in God it's "reality", if a few believe in God it's a cult, and if only one person believe in God it's a mental disorder. The more immediate threat is the gun of the state, jet as you said. Once that's gone and once children are raised without abuse, then religion would have far less power than it does now. The opposite scenario, however, in which religion is gone but the state still exists, is the worst of all situations since the state is powered by abused people who need a new God and a new cage. It's not a perfect answer, but it is more practical than what humans have been doing.

What podcast number was this?

I agree, especially how easy is has become for others to make fun of the emotional pain that people go through with surface level humor. Warning, the video I share is related and is not offensive to the eyes, however it demonstrates a lack of empathy on the uploader's end:

I'm currently mid essay right now and that pizza looks mouth watering.

I'd like to join but I've never played before. Would it be fine for a NOOB to join?

I would recommend working with a therapist (specifically a talk therapist) due to the fact that they are: a) trained in the field and b) having a second person often helps to point out blind spots that we fail to realize within our own self-analysis. This said, if you wish to pursue REBT by yourself in addition to therapy, I would recommend that you at the very least use a voice recorder and record your session every time you do them. The reason for this is that our memory is very unreliable and when you listen back to a recording after a couple of days, you may be surprised by what you hear or how you feel about your own thoughts from the previous session.

Spot on, and not just because it was the most memorable quote by the villain in The Incredibles. I'm not sure how the rest of you celebrated international woman's day, but I celebrated by eating a whole Ghost Chili Pepper with some friends. We figured that doing this was as related to international Women's day as both International Woman's and Man's Days have on the quality of our lives.

I have only met one anarchy-commuist in person and he's my downstairs neighbor. We have had discussion where he has argued private property does not exist but we own are bodies because they are private property. He also seems to be entrenched by the idea that economics is made up to cover true human nature, which is to be directed to do things based on the needs of our individual community. I know this is by no means a philosophical argument, but rather just my only experience in real life. I still think it is important to note that of the five guys that live in our house (two Jewish moderate socialists, a Christian monarchist libertarian, the anarcho-communist, and me: an Atheist anarchy-capitalist) the only person who is constantly not paying rent or bills is the anarchy-communist. This reminds me much of Marx's wife's complaint about her husband's finances.

Such a powerful conversation. It reminded me of when I first discovered FDR and how religion was the toughest truth I had to confront. While I'm not a mormon, nor never was, I've always had respect for the LDS church for placing an importance on the family. Over the past summer, had I not discovered FDR, I was thinking about the benefits of LDS with regards to family and dietary choices. I am happy that I accidentally stumbled upon one of Stef's speeches, but it is good to know that me feeling of sympathy towards the religious as opposed to the statists was based on a shared set of concessionary values rather than internal biases that I still harbor.

Honestly, it sounds like your awake or empathetic. Indignation is a good word too.

Thanks for the responses. They have been helpful in my conversation with my roommate.

5. He's been taking voice lessons and is auditioning to be the next lead singer for Queen 2.0.

Fair enough. The reason why I ask this question is that I was having a conversation with a friend about the couple of incidents in which artists are killed by Muslim "extremists" after depicting Muhammad. He brought up the example I posted above and explained that if Yes, then the social protections against drawing the Profit in general are pointless since people would be willing to kill over a teacup while if no then what exactly triggers the murderous impulse? Could it be something as insignificant as a stick figure or is it specific like someone that could plausibly look like the Profit? This is where I'm coming from.

Considering the controversy related to depicting the Muslim Profit Muhammad, my question is to what extent will certain people be upset with depicting something that is not Muhammad. For example, what if I depict a teacup... ...and I call it "The Profit Muhammad", should I expect death threats because I'm depicting Muhammad even though it's a teacup? I ask this in al seriousness. Please let me know what your thoughts are.

I think it has to do with the fact that one of Stef's goals has been to prove that patents are unnecessary for a free society, considering how all of the podcasts and books are free to consume and have no advertisers supporting them. I also agree with Mark's idea as well.

Hey Everyone, thanks for the feedback. There are a number of updates. What has happened since Tuesday the 17th: She is single and has been since Sunday She had wanted to take her time to think and break up due to the boyfriend's birthday occurring on the 18th and that she was living in his apartment at the time. We have meet up three times stating on the 17th We are not currently dating, but it is likely in the future So this response may be a catch all intended to summarize things of note that have occurred and to try to best answer questions: I found out last time that the reason why she was with this guy in the first place was due to her friend group at the time. Initially, she had 4 other "friends" who were into this guy, but unlike her friends this girl is an extrovert. As a result, she began dating the boyfriend she broke up with and her "friends" essentially shunned her. Being betrayed/shunned by these "friends" is clearly an emotional issue for her for this is the only topic so far that she has asked me to not question her about further. I plan to ask more about this topic in the future, but you can't hammer a nail in one hit. My theory is that the major reason why she kept with this guy was because of the sunken loss fallacy and wanting to justify loosing her friends with any possible positive. The basis of my theory is that when I asked how big of a role losing her friends had on her relationship, she had given it approximately 60%, but most likely higher earlier on. And before anyone asks, she stated his attractiveness was about 25%. She does fine me attractive, but want time to process everything that has happened over the last two weeks. I don't blame her, in fact I completely understand. Based on my own experiences, I have needed to process my thoughts and emotions after a break up. As my therapist explained last Friday, "I would be concerned if this girl began a relationship with you immediately after breaking up with her boyfriend. The only thing you can do is give her time." So, I completely get hypergamy is a thing. I have seen it before and it is significantly un-talked about in society as a whole. But I agree with Stef that you cannot blame someone for a biological function. However, arguing to not trust her because of the existence of hypergamy is just an example of denying her agency. If hypergamy was the ONLY reason why she would dump her boyfriend for me, I would not want to spend more time with her. It is my firm opinion, tested for the null and open to change in light of future evidence, that even if she is guided by her hypergamy to choose me, her interest in me is based more heavily on my character. I am not a neophyte with regards to romance, I have been involved with a few girls. The problem was that prior to about 9 moths ago, I was more heavily influenced by big tits and a nice ass than I would like to admit. However, since discovering FDR, I have used morality, character, and personality as my primary basis for romantic involvement rather than physicality. I do this because I want to have children in the future and I'll be damned if they are raised by a bitch that I had found sexy before she steals half of my wealth and shits on my heart. So, I have read Real Time Relationships early this January and I agree with Stef, both his conclusions in the book as well as some other comments that he has made on the podcast related to RTR. Romantic relationships should be based on picking people who would make gray parents for my kids, and expressing emotions without attributing knee-jerk causes to them is important. I see nothing of concern for this girl and me about RTR. She has not read the book, but I am sure she is open to the idea based on the nature of our conversations. She has been in therapy, and I see this as a plus in that I do it too and it is good to have an objective outside perspective to answer questions about our lives/ pursue self knowledge. This is also an example that she does practices what she preaches, aiding to my ability to trust her. I've got class pretty soon, but I want to conclude by saying that I do appreciate all of the feedback that I have received. I really do like this girl, she seems to like me, and I believe (I should get a thesaurus) that we like each other because of our characters and personalities rather than just baseline physical lusts. The way I read some of the comments made me feel like Claude Frollo for Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame when he's singing "Hellfire." This is not the case at all, but it still sent a shiver down my spine imagining that. I will update occasionally to let others know about how things are going on this end. However, short of any questions or some sort of flame war, I probably won't be on this topic for a while. Still, anyone who has advice, either for me or for others in a similar situation, are more than welcome to reply/comment. Thank you all, I really appreciate your concern! -T

Hey everyone, I first want to thank everyone for your help with this question. Here are a couple of things that I should let everyone know about my goals and thoughts on the matter: I'm a white male in my senior year of college, I already have a job line up after I graduate, it is a reasonable distance away from my school where I could visit and return in a day if I wanted to but I could easily never see this girl again if I desired this. Is it hot that she's Asian? Sure, but I am looking for character, shared interests, and most importantly shared values that would correlate to a good mother to my future children (which is a long way away). Hotness and sex appeal are not my primary concerns. In fact, I have been rejecting women who are significantly more attractive than this girl due to my commitment to virtue and wanting to be with a good woman. I brought up that she is asian due to cultural questions hat I'm not thinning about as a white guy from the states My use of the word Should in "Should she break up with her boyfriend," was meant as an alternative to the word If. Whether or not she or her boy friend ends the relationship is their decision. I wanted to know what I should due if she became single. I have been in 5 relationships that have lasted no more than 9 months the longest, but most around 3-5 months. Most of these were with manipulate women. Since my last one 8 months ago I have discovered FDR, which has helped me immensely in my 5 year self-knowledge journey more than anything else I have ever done. One of my relationships was the inadvertent result of cheating with a girl who was still dating a guy but told me that she broke up with him before we began dating. She was my first lay, which blinded me to the reality of the situation. Now that I've got that out of the way, I will fill you all in on my situation. I believe that there is a very simple way to tell if I can trust her: I ask about her relationship, specifically if I ask about whether or not she has told him anything. I figure there are three possibilities: 1) Did not tell the guy, meaning that I most likely cannot trust her, 2) She told the guy and they have or are about to break up, which makes getting to know her better easier or 3) She told and they are working on their issues, which would put me completely out of romantic or friendly relations for obvious and understandable reasons. I have arranged to meet her today after class to discuss honestly where we stand and where she is. I do want to get to know her better, learn about the family, learn about her former relationships, and see if she has accountability. I am willing to do this because of how close our stated virtues and common interests are. However, I am willing to end any romantic or close friendship with this girl if I find that she is not honest or takes responsibility for her actions. The reason for this is that if she is not honest, I could never trust her, and if I can't trust her then I can never respect her. Not being able to take personal responsibility is certainly a form of dishonesty. I understand that my discussion with her may surprise me, either for the good or for the bad. I do also hoe that if I cannot trust her as a romantic partner, that I can help get her close to a breakthrough, though I am not willing to compromise my morals to subjugate myself to manipulation or evil. @MMX2010 I am aware that actions speak louder than words and that context is key. I do have the feeling that she was probing me for my character, though I am unsure specifically if it was due to wanting to date me, or wanting to use me. I am leaning towards the former, but I am open to the possibility of the latter. In closing, if she is a virtuous person who acts on her morales, I am willing to act in accordance to her morals, then I am willing to get to know her better even though she initially cheated. It will be with the understanding that honesty must exist between us and that I am willing to follow my moral principles, though I am expecting consistency, not perfection. I also would want her to point out whenever I am not following my morals just as I would with her. If she is not the person I thought her to be, I would be willing to end our friendship since I am looking to free myself of manipulative relationships. Regardless, I plan to be honest and polite. Please continue to post advice, both for me and for others in a similar situation. I will report when I have the answer and have processed everything. Thank you! -T

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So I met this girl about two and a half weeks ago at a college social club and we hit it off well. While we would talk in person while at the club, we began to converse primarily through email and text for the majority of these two weeks due to both of us being busy with classes. At first, the majority f our conversation revolved around music, but soon grew to include psychology and philosophy. We met for the first time outside of club last Thursday to prepare and share dinner at my place. We ate, we danced, and we talked for hours after we finessed eating. The problem occurred when we kissed. This was about thirty minutes into the evening, and about 15-30 minutes later she brought up that she has a boyfriend for the first time. This is what prompted us to talk for several hours after dinner and really delve deep into our personal histories. Initially, she mentioned that she felt bad about unknowingly leading me on and that this was the first time that she ever cheated since she holds trust and loyalty to relationships as highly important. Later on, she stated that she may have been willing to come over and kiss me rather than have me cook at her place because of the emotionlessness and passivity of her current boyfriend. We almost made out 3 other times and ended up making out once before I drove her home. It is clear that we like each other. In fact, she mentioned that she would have no problem dating me if she was single. Based on my morals, I presented that possibility that we remain friends, due to what we have in common, but with the understanding that I would like more should she become single. She agreed to this. Since then, we have continued to talk and text almost daily, although now our conversations are even more personal that they were before Thursday. In addition, I have seen her boyfriend she he came to the club on Friday and he really reamed like a serious, quite, and emotionless person. Like a 1 or 2 on a scale where 10 is extremely emotional. I have been thinking about her for a while. I smile when I think about her. I have dreamt about her every night since Thursday. I feel at ease around her, never having to lie or watch my words when talking to her. I am sad that she is in a relationship, but I am happy that she talks to me. What I know about her through our conversations: Her life goal is to help people, possibly by becoming a psychiatrist and opening a clinic in China She believes in gender equality, but not feminism She is extremely open to Anarcho-Capitalism Her skeptisims of any of my views comes from curiosity instead of biased opinions She has a love for some of her Chinese culture, but is not weighed down or overly biased by it when it comes to objective reasoning She is quick to raise questions about cultural biases and contradictions that she sees She is not religious although she said that she was spiritual, which seems to put her around agnosticism She is emotionally present and expresses them freely with me She lives her virtues, as evidenced by taking a semester of school off to help her family when her mother broke her leg and could not properly take care of their household She is passionate about the same types of music and films as me She has had therapy and sees the value in it She laughs at most of my jokes We have talked about our dating histories, though not in too specific terms yet She began therapy after she had problems with her first boyfriend, who was absusive Her other boyfriends since then (3-4 total) were not abusive, though she has been the dominant one in these relationships She has agreed to the definition that love is our involuntary response to virtue She genuinely listens to me She is a foreign student from Shanghai, China She is not like my mom, and this is a good thing She is the most comfortable girl that I have ever been around She does not do drugs nor smokes and rarely drinks What I guess I'm trying to get at is this: Would entering a romantic relationship with this girl be a good or bad idea, considering what I know, should she become single? Is my continued friendship with her inherently manipulative considering our agreement and her current relationship? Are there any questions that I should ask her that would help answer my questions? Is she really a good girl, or am I projecting virtue? Am I not thinking about something? Please help me if you can

I just realized I posted in the wrong section. How do I change this? Also, @AynRand (love the username), I wish the students at my school did that rather than use racial slurs and host a sit-in on the administrative building. It could be the fact that I'm in New York. What state are you in?

Hey Everyone, This is my first time posting a subject on the board, but I think I'm posting in the right section. Please correct me if I am doing something wrong. So, I've noticed that a number of schools and colleges (abstract, I know), at least in the United States, have been at arms about the app Yik-Yak, which allows anyone with the app to anonymously post a short comment that everyone can see and rate. Do you think that apps like this help or hurt the human progress towards freedom? If you need me to supply any specifics let me know. Also, tangents relating to Yik-Yak are more than welcome!

I'm from the area, but will not be back until May.

I cannot recommend any specific person, but I do know that therapists my be willing to conduct counseling via Skype if you arrange it through their office and you discuss the payment method and exchange usernames first. That said, they often prefer to meet in person for the first session, but this may just be my personal experience talking rather than the reality. I hope I was helpful and I'm sorry I am unable to provide a specific name at this time.