John Sambrook

Hello, I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. During times of suffering in my life, I have sometimes learned things that made the situation more bearable, or brought a certain perspective. That helps, somewhat. I do hope you enjoy being a member of the FDR community and come to feel at home here. Best, John

Hi Jake, This article may get you started. I am certainly no expert, but you might want to Google on, say, the Paleo diet. http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/09/your-addiction-to-wheat-products-is-making-you-fat-and-unhealthy/245526/ You might find this of interest as well:

Thank you, Rose. As it turns out, I have that book in my Kindle collection, but haven't gotten to it yet. I will move it up on the stack. I have done a little work with IFS and should go back to it. I have a couple of friends that recommended it to me and I do think it's helpful.

Jeridan and Patrick, thank you for investing time in helping me. Much appreciated. One of things I am thinking about is how to be gentler with myself. I really have been my harshest, most relentless critic. You're right, Jeridan, the whip really is in my own hand at this time, and has been for many years. I appreciate the links to Stefan's podcasts. I'm listening to the first one this morning. Patrick, the clarity between feelings and opinions / conclusions is helpful. Is self-censoring a more conscious act, where self-erasure is less so? I'm not clear on the difference between the two. Thanks, guys.

Hello, I'm wondering how one should deal with self-criticism and self-censoring. I find that I often don't speak my mind, tend not to trust my own conclusions as much as I perhaps should, and tend to be overly gentle and deferential to others. To be brief, I am the youngest of four children. There is an 11-year age gap between me and my next-oldest brother. I have one other brother, and a sister, who is the oldest of the siblings. I was born in 1959, and am currently 55 years old. I was an unplanned child, and grew up in a family of very capable brothers and sisters. My sister earned a Chemical Engineering degree from CWRU, one brother was an officer in the US Army, and my other brother earned an Aeronautical Engineering degree from MIT. My education was a very different story. I got off the rails, academically, at a young age, and pretty much earned C's, D's and some F's throughout school. My parents tried to help, a bit, but I have the sense that I was largely an embarrassment to them. I have always been idealistic and was interested in science and electronics from a young age. If I was interested in something, I gave it my full attention, but if I wasn't interested in it, I typically ignored it. Generally speaking, I never had help with my homework. I remember sitting around the kitchen table, when my siblings would come home, and being constantly afraid to breathe or say anything, for fear that someone would make a nasty comment, or ask me about my grades, etc. I felt like the black sheep of the family, if that makes any sense. From time to time I would lie, and say that I did things in school that I didn't do. My parents should have realized that what I was claiming was bullshit, but they didn't seem to investigate, or call me on it, or recognize it as a sign of something being wrong. My parents would often say "You're smart enough to do well, but you're just lazy." Over time, I developed perfectionist tendencies, and I think they have been with me my whole adult life. I earned a degree in Computer and Information Science from The Ohio State University in 1983, and have made a good income as a software engineer since then. Sadly, I got divorced after 30 or so years of marriage. I am on good terms with my ex-wife and strive to treat her and others with justice. Bottom line, I have had a hard time shaking feelings of inadequacy. I'm very interested in practical philosophy, and I have had a big Ayn Rand / rationalistic phase. I think I'm getting away from the rationalistic aspects of it, but still consider most of Objectivism valid, even if I tend to lean more towards a stateless society these days. I have been listening to Stephan for the last year or so. I'd welcome any advice you might have for me. I'm wondering to what degree I should be angry with my parents. They are both dead now. I know the old line about "They did the best they could with the knowledge that they had," but I'm pissed that they kind of just let me struggle. I don't understand why they couldn't find some goddamn time to simply help me with my homework more. Thoughts? Best, John

I'm genuinely grateful for the advice. It's nice to be able to discuss such things. Patrick, you hit the nail on the head when you write about feeling alone in middle age. Perhaps we have followed somewhat similar paths. I feel quite disappointed and sad at times, essentially having to pick myself up at age 55 and start over. I don't regret taking the Red Pill, and I don't think anything could make me turn back, but the price to be paid seems quite high. I still expect it to be worth it and so I continue to plug away on self-knowledge and working to become more virtuous. I hope this makes some sense....

In this show, Stephan discusses that people calcify as they get older. This occurs about 37:30 into the show. I wonder, what is the mechanism that causes people to become more and more closed, more and more set in their ways. I ask, because I'm still grieving for some relationships I have had in the past. It's difficult for me to accept that nothing can be done to salvage them, because the people involved (perhaps including me) have become closed to new information. Thoughts?