I played into the farce of 'happy family'. My father was always portrayed as the bad guy and trouble maker. I have since come to understand that my mother was running the show. She was very emotionally detached and controlling. I don't remember being hugged by her as a child. Glad I got some from my dad, but I don't think she encouraged it much. She and one of my sisters ended up being the power couple of the family. I am glad at a young age I seemed to make the decision that I did not want to be like either of them and worked hard to used them as models of how not to be....
I was an empathetic, sensitive young person that struggled to try to keep the peace in a family that was not all that peaceful.
Both my parents are gone now.
Those are some of there realizations I have come to. I actually find it very difficult to talk about still. There was such a pretence surrounding our family telling the truth of it is difficult. Which is an interesting thing because truth plays such an important part in my adult life and the life I lived since I left home.
