Sima

I was thinking a lot , because your post echos my situation in the way of feeling anger towards unvirtuous people. Here is an idea that you misplace anger as towards general population, which you actually feel towards you parents. Your parents were mean to you and they ignored you and your interests. You are reliving your childhood pain that your parents always ignored you most loved interests, maybe even mocked them or punished for them? "What hurts me most about this area is that I try to talk to people about these things that I am so interested in, and no one ever wants to talk about it" I felt anger towards people stupidity or evilness because i was hoping to fix them ( that actually i was doing with my parents for the last 10 years), but it costed me tremendous effort, it was like putting myself under a storm of attacks just to put a simple idea in their minds. I have to scream aggressively just to put a simple statement out. Otherwise they dont hear and keep bullying around. That puts me in a huge stress (which is unhealthy). Like yesterday i had a chat with 3 colleagues, when i was proving that this, this and that is wrong what they do and say. I engaged with them because i wanted to fix them (as if my parents). I actually did it 4 times with different people that day, i was very miserable. There was a lot of shouting, saying im stupid and a bad person. In the end i made them to understand few things, but the price is way to high. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that people hate, when others are more clever then they are, or when they are pointed out at their mistakes. The conclusion of me and 3 colleagues (2 of them are bullies) came to conclusion which they liked: you dont have to be clever if you have a good hart. There was a nice silence in the room afterwards... But i didn't feel satisfaction i was hoping, there was no happy ending, i was totally shocked. It was no pleasure to have that conversation, they hated me and everything i say. They changed there attitudes afterwards, i started to feel a bit more respect from there side, but its really not worth it, its masochistic on my side. Maybe write down what you really hate in people and make a connection with your parents? So you can get a view, what your parents did to you to make you suffer?

the problem about looking for virtuous people at work is: what do you do when there are none of virtuous people? You still have to be with them every day. What if they will notice that you are virtuous when they are not? They will be attacking you on daily basis. Maybe you can try to meet a virtuous woman outside your work, at a library for example, or some brainy conference? I am a woman and i met few really good woman, really psychologically healthy. But it was about 5 woman in 30 years.They are there in the world. I think you have a chance to meet one like once in 6 years. They do exist, just i have an idea that they marry earlier, around age of 25, because they are nice, and guys want to marry them, and they want children, and so on.

yes, i have the same problem, people decide i'm running away because im scared of their power, when in fact, i'm ignoring them. Then they feel like they can bully mean, do gossiping, and i think most of the time that they are idiots. And i constantly crave that i could say straight in their faces: do you like to be so mean to me? Is it very pleasurable for you? But what is the point to talk to apes?

You are not overthinking for sure. Relationship is a 2 directions road, you have to meet in the middle. Does your sister show a real interest to reconcile? Is a small fight more important to her then keeping you in her life? Are you important to her? Ignore your mom, some people just have a tendency to make others feel worried, guilty, ashamed. I think its a toxic dumping of emotions.

hmm, stefan answers this question in podcast 1113, start with 1112 maybe. Will explain a lot and much more, then you and us were discussing in this topic.

if pedofiles are just disabled people, we cant judge them, just as insane people they would do their acts openly, it would be claer to society that they are disabled mentally, and they would be isolated from society as very crazy people are locked in mental wards. Because they do their acts secretly, it means they do know its not good, therefore they are not insane. If they are not insane, they should be empathical and not to harm children. I might want to go shopping for 1 0000 dollars, but i dont do that, it harms me and my partner in long term. I have a wish and need, but i see harm. I dont kill my co worker even if im very angry at him. I am sane. If id kill him, i would do it secretly. If i do it openly, i would be considered at least a bit insane. i see this argument different: for me it looks as if you are asking if your parents were criminals, or just disabled, therefore you cant judge them. I say i dont care if your parents were criminals, or disabled, if you are a victim ,it doesnt matter.

when i was a child a wanted to kiss a particular boy in my school, because i liked him a lot. That was my dream. Never heard of children dreaming of being molested. I think for me it would have been one of the biggest terrors that could happen. moreover, start concentrating on the victims instead of perpetrators. Who is more important: the one who harms, or the one who gets harmed. The victim didnt ask to be harmed, but the perpetrator has more chances to stop harm and not to do it.

I dont want to be murdered, so i dont murder, i dont want to be robbed, so i dont rob other people, i dont want to molested as a child by some older guy, so i dont molest children.

you have to lie, if you want to avoid sadistic person hurting you. if a sadist knows the truth he will use that truth to hurt you.

dear juliuspro, those children couldnt talk, were in diapers ( at the age 3 and 6) the older learned to use the toilet at the age of 6 learning that from his older sister who is normal. The family had a big closed garden where they played a lot, so it wasnt dangerous for them there, i never had to restrict them physically, but i remember hugging them and massaging them in order to calm them down. They watched a lot tv, sometimes had fights about toys they didnt share, it was kinda ok there, in general they reminded me 2 year olds as if their mental growth has stopped at that age. I mean they were really small, so it was easy. Maybe once i had to grab him and to bring to home on my hands when he came screaming from school, but me and other woman, we were not cruel , we found it sad, that the boy was so sad. it was all about calming him down. Hope it helps.

i think if autistic people are under a lot of threat to harm themselves, then ABA is ok. Otherwise i agree with the woman from 1st video: it can make them to do anything other people say. They dont have their own judgement. 2nd video:is a "dog whisperer" thing. I worked shortly with 2 autistic boys, so i think i would have been better for them to stay more at home (age 3 and 6) but they used to go to special school 4 days a week, which made them aggressive, they always used to come home screaming and crying. maybe If you keep them more at home till older age (maybe 12-15) ,then AbA is not that necessary.. I remember particularly, that the boy of the age of 6 didnt talk, but i taught him to sing that was weird and nice,he doesnt talk, but he does sing that was Jingle bell christmas song mostly

I understand a lot of talking as: power : those who want to be the leader of the group talk the most knowledge : you need to share important information with someone who needs it competent for the situation : like the doctor at the place where a person was injured, has to talk and do most to save that person changing the emotional climate around: you talk to control people's emotions (sometimes just to make them feel comfortable) trying to get rid of your emotions somebody asking a lot of questions looks as someone who tries to study that person so he could use him some way : looking for weak spots and so on. i dont ask questions when its very clear the other person has very poor inner life. With most people i dont need to ask much questions to understand who they are and what ideas rule there life (crowd people, who don't think for themselves), i hardly ever hear anything new from them what i didn't see on TV. i talk a lot when i see what the other people feel but they don't acknowledge that, so i express their feelings through some of my personal stories, so they can feel comfortable to express their emotions as well. there are very little people who would get my genuine attention, so , yeah, i dont ask much. and in general i prefer reading body language and analyse people's behaviour in place of asking them direct. They can lie, say nonsense, but watching them give better and more precise results. questions are a perfect solution when i get angry (the other person can explain why he or she did something, then i'm not angry anymore) . I mean it is better to ask first calmly, then first to explode with angriness.

My mom was nagging me about going to church for a long time, so in the end I said : "It doesnt matter what is your religion, the main thing is to have a good hart. I dont need a religion to have a good hart. " I think i was kinda saying, she hasnt a good hart, if she is nagging me non stop all the time She stopped nagging afterwards, almost never mentions it now.

It can be called whatever name, its about the principe: buying services and taking part in decisions directly. When you decide something, you pay for it. You go against decision, you dont pay. Thanks guys for comments.

There is no technical reason not to show all goverments expenses online, they all have computers in their offices. I was discussing with my husband how to do things with the goverment till we get new generation of children , who grew up with non violence principes. We got an idea it should be like market goverment. If its safe to buy with Bitcoins it can be safe to take countrywide decisions online. It means i buy with my private taxes online something: for example i agree with the war, i go online, i vote (buy) it. The war budget is a fixed sum for next year. They divide that amount from the amount of people, who voted for it, and the bill is send to the voter, who said yes. If he sees the bill is too big, he can rethink if he really wants war. those who voted against, dont get the bill. Or you decide to vote for public schools, then you pay tax for it and you let your children to it. But then would be less public schools. Like you buy a bus ticket. Every cent the goverment spends is online: everything. And you can see it. So you buy something with your taxes. Then you see goverment people who did decisions, how much they spent on that action, they can be fired with a click of the button, if there is a big amount of people who vote with their tax and they dont like how things are going. All expenses are open, like: this was spend for office rent, this for coffee, this for buying chairs for school and so on. If you can safely pay with Bitcoins for goods, you can as safely pay with your taxes for things you want in the country. We kinda decided that you can have private schools and universities as private. Then there is the question what to do with orphans or disabled people. We kinda have to make it mandatory to pay for them? In case you children become orphans later? So if you helped those people all your life, you will get help if something happens? OK, lets say we got orphanages. We see how much expenses were for food , clothes, education. Should we put online stuff like what are the school grades of these children? Should local people wisit those orphanages and write rewievs? like we do online when we watch a movie or buy something from Ebay? we have this totally open goverment who does work for people, because we can fire them with a click of the button the same day we didnt like what they do. We can pay taxes for unemployment benefits, and later get one as well. But online we offer how money should be spent. You have a list of choises, and you sen you tax money to one or few of them. Lets say options: pay for everyone only for two years, pay for everyone only for two months. People decide online witch option they want .All money and all benefit amounts are online. And the thing is that you actually will pay when the budget is calculated and divided from amount of people who voted for it? Every year you get a bill where is said: so many people unemployd, we paid so much, your share is this. You can say im so good with my work, i dont buy unemployment taxfor myself. So we leave those who are not so lucky to beg in the streets? Yes,there are some issues to work out.