Taiga

Detroit's Public School system has not ever been UNDER Funded Ask the Detroit City Council of the last 3,4 decades where they banked the money ( personally) as in individuals " scraping" a bit off the top ( allocated money / tax rev for the schools) they to take " just SUM" for themselves, as in I ' am owed" the old - "no one will notice" Then is the " literal" " bondage" of ignorance that is alive well and kicking the Divide -there are several dividing lines within Wayne County, Oakland County, Macomb County it's the invisible line, that some persons challenge the same way today 2015 as they did in the mid late 1960's - " parents who continue the monster" - No education for you I am not sending you to learn the White Mans " English" - Hate Whitey is not upon " individuals" it's broad spectrum " Authority" who most are Black " within Detroit City Politics" - not Wayne Co these are two separate entities. It's Ignorance - based on Fear. Fear cripples persons. It's not an excuse to continue the mistakes by not investigating. Everyone is losing, and the corporations are making $$$ hand over fist. When the majority is voiceless, and do not entrust anyone to " tell their fears to" that they realize if they are to do this, it will be used against them ( eventually) you have a continuation of " ignorance, anger, frustration" - which breeds and continues persons to settle, to remain the " haves and have not " their world seen thru a Kaleidoscope - Yet if they truly understood the Kaleidoscope is real, this is in favor of them = Daily it changes this does not remain the same, this were " paying attention, communication, being engaged" leads persons to being active, " being a part of the betterment" instead of the negative: which is expected. If you want to see Detroit - where it's been, how many areas remain blighted since 1968, that never recovered, not truly. Even cities, blocks, which have been under " outright" attack carry scars, energy is felt in the sidewalks, the buildings, it's felt in the frequency. it's Real Footage, there is No Sound, I think watching the footage is enough to understand the picture I was near or around 2 yrs old - and my parents lived less than 5 miles from, where this footage was captured. https://youtu.be/LMzPLiow8lw

Contempt ?

Utopian, I hope your cousin is able to take charge of this situation. You have options, he has a choice. He needs to make a choice. It's difficult when " family" contains they " are " who is to take " your choice away" using fear, using mongering, if he were to " stand up" - no waiver, put it out as ultimatum, what would they do? This is not about money greed, he whining, - it's bottom line is " they are stripping him from his right of choice" as this was " another persons" gift to him, for him, with the intent of " to be used" as he sees fit: hopefully to enhance his life, to better him. Money and family " shouldn't be this hard" as it was " willed" written, signed. The wish of this person not to be altered, after the fact .. by others " who too gained SUM" from this person.. it's a lot trite. I wish him self empowerment. Say what he means and mean what he says: Stand his ground. Thank You st434u

A new show fall 2015 -CBS " Life in Pieces" the one couple: brand new baby Dad - sent for diapers, no one is sleeping, this a clip of his adventure .. he on 2 hours of sleep. The full rendition, is probably online somewhere. This yes is ' TV' and it's a parody .. It's pretty realistic though,.. you wrote of your girlfriend, the actress who plays mother a normal take charge person, add infant and all sorta falls were it ..falls. It's called Parenting. The full sketch, if you can find it, watch it, it's the first part of the show, " Diaper Run" then it goes on to the guy shown here, his siblings..yadda .. https://youtu.be/cRQPL-zy32g

I was listening to Stefans' podcast, It's subbed, I don't know when he made it. It was uploaded by another on Oct 5th 2015 The Truth About Daycare & Absentee Parents https://youtu.be/t1shQK7mP4YOnce I gained my drivers license, the first thing on my mind was being hired " a job" I was 17, my first car, long story. My parents didn't buy it. It came out of money that was my own. My 1200.00 car, I am dating myself. My friend was a volunteer at the city hospital. She said they always need volunteers, you should go up there. She to give me the contact info. I called,I made the appt, I met a woman who was of the Red Cross, her office in the admin offices, the same hosp. She was very interested in me. She to ask me if I would take a test, this after the interview. I was WOW this is pretty heavy for being one to pass out magazines to patients. She then said there was an opening, a volunteer needed, to work at the Hospitals Staff Daycare, a daycare for staff members infant to preschool age children. This was in a separate building. She sent me, I went. I wasn't to be there for any length of time, I did stay. I was there for about 2 hours. The director was a lovely lady, she was from Australia. She asked if I would return the next day, after school let out. I very excited, yes I will. That day, my first real day, I was offered a paid hourly part time position. I was placed in the infant room. 6wks was the youngest. A wait list for the infant room, that was of many women, they employed or their spouses employed by the hospital. There was 6 infants assigned to each caregiver. The oldest was 12 mos. They at 12.5 mos were graduated across the hall to the toddler room. 12 toddlers to each care giver. I graduated after a year with the infants I began with. I moved with the children. I was employed with this daycare for just shy of five years, part time, full time. I voluntarily quit. I said to myself, I cannot do another tour. These were my first kids. I saw them 5 days a week, from they being 6wks to now 4.5 yrs, 5 yrs of age, they to graduate off to Kindergarten. These kids today are in their 30's - they to be married, children of their own, I suspect. The mothers who were nurses, doctors, they used the day care " at times of" need, and or within an odd shift thrown at them. These kids were not lifers. The babies, the toddlers, the preschoolers of the women who were of Admin level, executive. These the women in the suits. These women who waited until they were mid 30's early 40's to have their " ONE", these were the lifers. They were brought in by one or the other parent, at crack axx dawn, and they were not picked up until after 5:30 pm. They there 5 days a week. These were my heart breakers. These who were lifers, they why I would not quit. Why I stayed and went to the end with them. I simply was gobsmacked by their mothers. These women who had years of work within their past, plenty of time to bank a savings. These women making huge bacon, early 80's, mid 80's compared to the NURSES. They bringing in over 40, 50k " the Eighties" when Money was worth something. This them, not including their spouses income added to their household. Where is BABY? Baby makes a great conversation piece over a stiff martini and shoes kicked off, on a Friday night. As these lifers knew that who ever was picking them up on FRIDAY.. they had a diaper bag all ready and packed, they were to go to So and So's house to spend the night, because .. MOTHER had a tough week in the board room. This when your heart is cracking breaking, this precious little person holding on to you so tight. They tired, it's near 6pm, they've been with you the 2nd shift, they dropped off at 6AM. They burying their head into your neck, they snorting their snorty breath, squeezing your boob, they whisper, Mumma .. as their bio donor and or who ever was sent to pick them up on FRIDAY .. stares at you, as if you had stolen their children's trust away...from them. No no sorry, no can do, you're going to have to figure out your guilt trip your laying on yourself with someone else. I am not that person. I am to remind this precious baby boy and or baby girl, my name is " Miss ___", me to have to pry them off my body, to hand them over. They some to scream their brains out, arms out reached to me. Their own mother a stranger to them. They to know, it was that they learned very early the label Mumma, became what it was Unspoken. My highest wage when I left, after just shy of 5 yrs of service, my hourly rate: 4.02 an hour. I was though in exchange provided 5 yrs of education of what not to do, my daughter is today almost 25. She is married, she has two babies. Her husband, he is hungry. He works full time and takes on every and any odd job extra, that she is " able" to stay home and Raise ' their children" - they are not rich. There is no way she could make enough $$$ to put one let alone two into daycare, it would cost her/them in countless ways, the children to lose out the most. She wants to be at home, if she had a choice, she would be ? at home. They make it work, they to know, if it's not them, who is it to be? they planned their children, and both know it's 24/7 " shared" - sacrifice isn't as painful as some think it is ..in the big scope wallets do not have feelings. The kids, each and everyone of them from the daycare, I remember their names, their faces, their uniqueness each one held. I can only pray that someone saw within them their personalities and they were provided for .. a person to come along to recognize them, that they were not felt to be permanent orphans..grrr .. Kids are not house plants. They need LOVE from their parents, they need to BOND. This is who they are human beings, they are not puppets...to be used for show. These Executive Mothers where are they now.. more than likely receiving a ' Jelly of the month club" membership for Christmas, from their " Child" they .. had to have.

Anarchogavin, this is not tone of snark. Are you choosing her by process of elimination? You are comparing her to a past relationship? or you are generalizing comparative her to women within where you live? You have not written " I love her", I cannot say it for you. Are you IN love with her? is she IN love with you? Or its' an amicable deal that you both are settling due to reasons of your shared list of it's fair as long as, you do and I do,.. I am a bit confused. It's almost contractual.

I am having a difficult time telling if the woman I am with is fit to be a mother, to my potential children. The true problem is you're not telling her your fears, there is lack of communication: non equal participation ? Children and or marriage is a sensitive subject to whom? You are two individuals dating, love isn't mentioned. This then is or isn't right now a committed relationship with you, for you yet? You're not sure if you should invest your entire " person" within her, this what is most important isn't it? " you and she: the couple" to become a family some day. " I am very afraid that we will have children" read it out loud, you wrote it, this is part of your own answer.

I'm happy to say I've found a way to use my negative experiences for good, my life has been given purpose. Inner Horizon ~ Keep Going

Thank you J.D. for posting this. I will listen to Dr. Patrick's video. You are correct on stats with Vitamin D, adults with below levels, unknown levels. The outdated recommendations via the professionals on labels doesn't help with this: lack of information. Vitamin D, the sunshine vitamin. For 9 yrs, I a licensed (non medical) skin care tech. I became licensed in 2000. Skin our exterior, most do not pay attention to. The Face is high priority, what about the rest of us, our skin continues. 2000 " the Sun" persons exposure was in full blown controversy in media, in magazines. The arguments of man vs machine. Tanning beds, sun screen, sun block. Then it seemed every product right down to shampoo evolved to have a SPF quotient. Bah, these products too are laden with inert ingredients that go into the blood steam and or sit on top of the skin, varying upon application, its' so not a daily requirement. If you are blocking and or screening and or omitting the sun from your body: All bets are off for Natural Vitamin D " to aid you, to enter" ~ the Sun is part of the maintenance we all require. No Sun for long periods, quality of life, the living cells begin to break down... What if you are a person of a higher melanin, you're own skin is working for you as a built in sun screen. You the fairer skinned person may find they themselves are not able to tolerate direct sun for long periods of time: this then diminishes time spent in direct sun. The body is a miraculous machine: we know this. This where it is of interest the differences within us: genetically, geographically within vitamins, nutrients, our indifference, how our bodies are of values recommended. I am excited to listen to the good Dr.'s findings. If you weren't to apply these products they say if you don't apply or use products with at least this level of protection" DAILY" the chances are increased ..you to be diagnosed with " Skin Cancer" the fear factor, the seed is planted. Would you crumble, dry up, be of risk ? How much Sun does one person truly find themselves exposed to? those who are not of their occupation outdoors, athletes, outdoor enthusiasts ..etc Then is environment man created. In the US the sun differs greatly dependent upon region. Windows, in buildings, in autos, in and all around us, how much time are we truly " in the direct sun" Fear and catchy packaging phrases is a wondrous marketing tool, Profiting upon new and improved, it's that new one, you haven't heard of it....it's supposed to PROTECT YOU. Slathering one self in these products with layers. From hair to toe is what ? It prevents the body from a properly functioning immune system. You become a tweaked version of your former once working for you: involuntarily functions become altered. Our skin (as a whole) is the most neglected of our selves, not purposely, it's that we wake up it's there. We go to sleep it's there. Until there is pain, irritation, something appears that wasn't there the day before ..does most take a deeper look, to examine one's self. Our neglect, it's our every day routines that has impact: good bad indifferent we need to remind ourselves, we're only as healthy as we pay ourselves attention. The health of our skin, that we forget how integral our skin truly is. If we listen, our skin is talking. It speaks of what is going on in the inside. If a negative is occurring, when it's realized no actions are of your own, does it " yell out" to you via visual, via sensory reactions on and on.. OUCH where did that come from !? ... how long has that been there ? ~~we've all said it. it's what we learn from where and why it came out, why it was there, how did this happen..that it more than likely is a symptom to/of something underlying. I have pushed play

Curious George, thank you for posting, your honesty is power. I wish for you to read the linked. My friend, this is his written. His blog is Statement Analysis. He his career is investigation of exactly what you have experienced. He is to analyze within his interviewing accused, innocents, the full spectrum. Statements of others, where they be verbal and or written. He, his job, is he sorts out what is out right lies, what is deception, what is called one's withholding information. This the very minimal nut shell of what he does. He to interview adult survivors, as you are, who yes were sexually molested. This link to one of his commentary's of many: http://statement-analysis.blogspot.com/2015/01/statement-and-behavioral-analysis-of.html I think you will find the linked of your interest. His blog is open, public discussion. He provides readers the teachings of Statement Analysis. Curious George, you coming forth to write the above. You are angry. Rightfully. This is the beginning of healing. I send you positive energy. Be not afraid, the worst was when it happened " to you" Even if it seems like the reactionary of flat out denial from your mother feels " equally painful" She carries no burden: she believes her denial has more merit than the pain you are experiencing today. This is narcissism: her owned. CG, I have more resources for you. I will post when I am able. I am new here. I am to make one more post, this I believe is the 5th. I would like to be within this discussion. I am for now to wait. Taiga

Inner Horizon, this will make sense. This young lady who created such " ricochet" * Go back to when you and she first were acquaintances. The moment you met. The moments of the times that was of you and she, how you say doing the dance ...we all do it, it's called making a conscience step forward, allowing this to go from banter to conversation, that may or may not lead to a Friendship. Both persons are a bit ' showing their feathers' even so, the always is, even if it's a simple I met a person today. Relevant to present past and future. Inner Horizon people tell us who they are. This isn't a snap judgement. it's not. It's us who are our own frustration. It's what we do not do by nature, and this is Listen. Simply nodding isn't a skill, this is us mimicking. When we realize how much we've missed, that was said directly to us, ooh,, once you apply listening it will bring you great joy, and some newly found emotions, within you're owned of who you thought you knew. The skill of Listening is honed. No one teaches us. It's a difficult but not impossible skill to self teach. Especially in our day and age where information: sound, distractions are everywhere. Go back to the first few statements of " that girl" upon you meeting. No bet, my not to say, I bet you. Nope. Within her own dialog, she did tell you who she was. What you gained from your experiences with her in them, has made you a more heightened person. This is a good thing. Hone your listening skills. You'll be pleasantly rewarded. We as energy we ourselves: our thoughts, our statements, our perceptions we toss out into the Universe is action. The reactions to be: good, bad, or indifferent. We to gain the same response within relationships new old and or not yet.. no matter what we do .. why is it always the same .. this is the bridge to insanity. It's upon us - ours to recognize what we are not doing, this is the cause of the same outcome. * Listening, it will take time. This is not overnight. It's from the inside to the outside. Listening will enhance you, your reactions to be of quality, not quantity. This will come to light within your communications, your conversations. Too you will find New friendships in the positive. People who truly enhance your life, as you will enhance theirs. Good people vs wishy washy persons with motives .. Listening alike reading is fundamental. Yet it's not taught, why is this? it's makes for a more evolved community... some do not like this.

Utopian, I am new here, if my novel below isn't what is within FDR as normal, I am posting within probationary terms. I do not know what the standards are here yet. I won't be posting such long commentary.. this you ask though is relevant to what is right now, on my mind. Your written, your questions are intriguing. Your relationship with your own self. This I do believe is what is what is poking you. Your cousin, did he have a relationship with the person who passed on? if so what and how was it? if you know, if not, have you asked? You spoke of yourself having active relationships with your grands and great grandparents. When a person passes on and leaves their will, their written intent of who and what is to be divided, it boils down to the relationship ~with the person who passed and their chosen receiver. Not the relationships of who was on the list of receivers. This where it's ambiguous as it was your dad recalling what was in the will. Memory is not always what was on paper, yet what was interpreted upon the moment of the subject matter " conversation" Money left is a curious reward to some. Money received by inheritance can be riddled with emotional reactions. The amount is no meaning. It's that it's what is was dedicated to be passed on from another. This person who had to die in order for this will to be granted. Yesterday, myself, same topic. All of my grandparents have passed away. My paternal grandfather, he died before I was born. My paternal grandmother and I did not have a bond. My maternal grandparents were there. My grandpa was very engaged in my childhood, my life. My grandma I loved her dearly. She worked all the time. She died when I was 12, cancer. I wasn't able to know her, her work was her life. Her to run and operate my grandparents general store. She her time was centered around her customers. She chose this. My maternal grandparents were educated, independent. They owned and operated their shared business, a General store which their home was on the same property of land. They both up before sunrise and sleeping by 10, 11, as their business open 7 days a week. My grandpa too had over 30 acres of land, he bought, my grandparents both farmed. By the time I came along, it was 23 acres of his land required maintenance, mowing etc. He did not hire persons to help him. He did all of the maintenance himself. He would have it no other way. He woke up every morning with the presence of: I am alive and I am free. He was. He who answered to his self. This to some would be a frightening existence. To be this free, to be the boss, middle man and employee all in one person. He to earn his way up the ladder rather quickly in his youth. He hired as a management position within automotive manufacturing 1920's. Once he saw what was behind the curtain, how the uppers thought of, treated the line workers, he got out. He defected. He took his earnings and bought land, he, my grandma to farm it. The house barely a shack, he built upon it, a home he created for his wife and one child at the time. He conjoined himself with other farmers in the community, they to arrive at the barter and trade system benefited not only them, yet the future community to become as well. He to remember his own brothers, his own sisters who were not afforded the same. The option to leave the dirty filthy manufacturing plant, he to know many died due to the lack of fresh air, the environment, the stress, the ogars over them, produce more, they earning barely a living wage, these men to be fathers, husbands, men working to exist. I from childhood to my teens. I followed him around from the time I recall being 4 yrs old. I was his shadow, his student, his sponge. I wanted to see everything, I wanted to learn everything, he with great joy and passion shared his knowledge, his skills, not with everyone. He did so with me, as I was one day to be his legacy. He was a wood worker, carpenter, farmer. He loved nature. He respected nature, wildlife. He was at his best when he wasn't expected to be who people thought he was to be. He had a grand personality, he shared it with very few. He was fire, he was bold, he though wasn't one to join in within groups. He rather to have one on one discussions with his male friends, they sharing an ice cold beer, after a long day. Or on a hot afternoon, the store to be .. of few customers. My grandpa was my mentor, he was who told me since I can remember, do not ever quit. Never quit. He always to say this. He was in my teen years: he was my best friend He died in 1985, I was 19, his death devastated me. No one was him in my life. He born in 1906, he born into poverty within the age of manufacturing: just beginning He a young boy to go out each morning, he to look for any work, for him to give his earnings to his parents. He did go to school. He did graduate H.S. He spoke 4,5 languages. Two fluent, one being English. This became his in, this was with his hunger, his tenacity, he was chosen hired later on. He was able to speak, write and translate languages of the immigrants who were applying for hire. His parents came to the US in the late 1890's from Hungary. They his teachers, his mentors. He went from jack of many trades to a young man wearing a suit, he to be the HR mgr of who was hired for labor, line workers within one of the most globally known American car makers today. He grew up in the melting pot of Del Ray, a suburb of Detroit. He wanted to be who his parents willed him to be, a better person. Not a better off person. I myself am right now short on funds. I yesterday within my belongings pulled out his Pocket Watches he left to me, he in his will. I have 6 of them. My plan was to take one to a local jeweler, for appraisal, a generic one. 4 are generic, 2 are not. He called me Butch, his nickname for me. He would say Butch, those watches, if they aid you, do what you need to do. He would say this, yes of the 4, the other two he would be quiet about. The 2 that his initials are engraved, I will not part with. This would be unspoken, myself to know, who he was, and how I am. It's not the monetary value of the watches (one way or other) Utopian, it's his and I our relationship, our trust that was between us. These watches, his personal two, are a symbol of his youth, his hard work, his journey. He later in his life, my grandparents, they to have my mother, her siblings had no children. He wasn't present in the lives of his children's childhood. He was working sun up to sun down. He to admit this, he not proud of it either. I am grateful to be his grandchild. My own mother cannot appreciate my stating this. She becomes angered. She is extremely reactionary in the negative, if I was ever to speak of my memories, of him and I. He wasn't there in her childhood. I today do not speak with her. We are estranged. I am blessed beyond words of his living, his giving, his time, his quality time he invested himself into my childhood. My parents were not there, they were working. My brother by choice had zero relationship with our grandpa. My grandmother gave him everything. Any and every whim my brother had, she bought him whatever he wanted. He would write lists. He not to lift a finger to aid either of my grandparents within their business, their land. He watched their TV, he to be in the house, not ever outside. He the only boy, he was her prince. I was in retrospect my grandpa's " boy" he always wished for, he had and he lost. His only son died at birth. My grandpa saw within me I do believe his own self. This his from when I was born, we were connected his felt. I was his shadow, he loved me. He loved me in a way no one has ever loved me, and all I had to do was be " myself" - no magic. He disliked persons who " put on" shined on, to make up for their own " untapped" within themselves. They to use fakery for their own short term gains. These people not his people. He is greatly missed. Your Uncle, what is his relationship with you? What is your fathers' relationship with you? This may be where your answers are. You to find what you're truly seeking. I do not believe you are inquisitive upon your 22 yr old cousin not receiving this money. I do believe this is all stemming from you questioning your own mortality. How you are perceived and or how you judge your own self worth, you comparing your own self to the men in your family. Your family tree. You are at a time in your life that clarity is on the verge of " why you are who you are" today. You are listening to your inner voice, and it's asking .. questions you've come to find, " yes why or not why" ..of the men / persons before you. May it be you see within your 22 yr old cousin, he is you, not so long ago. You today are asking your own self " what am I worth" .. You're appliance being Nature's law, human nature, as we do have a tendency to repeat the wrongs, if one isn't to challenge the road path not yet taken. ~ my post is way long, I will curb myself next time. Be Well ~Taiga

I do believe this comes from within, who is a firey personality. As in this person stands out where they are trying or not. Firey ie: passionate in what they like or are interested in. This enters polarity. Ferrsstir to comment they are of the spectrum, the negative in some associations. Here (Freedomain) they are more so even and comfortable in who what they engage with. In the scale of spectrum, you Accu Tron feel within your engagement of theme, topic, the shift is felt. You run at a degree the most of the time, it then tunes itself down or heightens causing your persona to broaden grow -dependant upon which theme/topic you are focused on. I find it facinating, we are of endless facets, each of us. I am noob, I am posting my 4, to then be 10 if my reply shows up at an odd time, I am on double secret probation yet.

Good morning, it's a cool crisp 47 degrees in Michigan. Indian Summer is in full swing. I joined Freedomain like many have, by the magnet of what Stefan creates; can I have more? He taps one, he brings out the inner mind doesnt' he. On the eve of 2015, I came across this quote. I found it poignant. The words of this woman to resonate. Yes, how true there are years that are constant with questions, no answers. Zora Neale Hurston — 'There are years that ask questions and years that answer.' This year to outflow answers for me, to me. I not to ask this year. The answers came. It's amazing how life blooms when you let go. Let go or be dragged. I look forward to meeting people here. Be well Taiga