dysfunc_survivor

Another aspect of this is that most of the guys "on the floor" are immigrants, but rarely any manager, bosses or mid-level-managers or office staff. So low-level workers also have this "leverage" towards their managers. If the manager tell you to do X, the manager is racist...

Ok, so we mostly agree. The reason I named this thread "Bitching..." is to spotlight that conversations like these mostly are seen as bitching, and I can agree with that to some degree. I was in part being ironical. But in another perspective, yes it's up to me to take on the new competition. Another problem in sweden is that people don't seem to be able to think, and this leads to mostly bitching. Some might see the problem but can't or won't verbalize it in any meaningful way. I think this must change before any major social change can occur.

I will attempt an answer despite the fact that you still aren't very specific, and also obviously aggressive. What I want to do about immigration in Sweden, currently is to stop it. Continued immigration doesn't solve anything, it only creates more problems. And I also understand that immigration merely is an effect of open borders combined with generous welfare, so more precisely, those are the things to change.

What are you supposed to feel towards those who you sought help from that either made things worse, or just wasted more years of your life? Shit happens? How self deprecating was I to not understand that I didn't get better? How come these "proffesionals" didn't understood or cared that their patient didn't get better? "Well, I'm not getting fired, so I must be doing a great job!" I'm not writing this to fix my past, I just think it's a shame that public healthcare is allowed to fuck peoples lives up en-masse. Bad healthcare is invisible in a bad society. The disregard of human life. Stalin would have done a little cossack-dance out of pure glee. Awareness and knowledge is a direct threat to societies like this. It's not that it's a conspiracy, but rather a herd-mentality. Get well, but not weller than us! Just get well enough to not expose our disregard for you, but not so well that you might expose our narcissism. I find it fascinating to ponder what came first, from an evolutionary perspective; intelligence or narcissism? Does the true self have an evolutionary benefit? Does dissociation have an evolutionary benefit? To me IQ and narcissism seems related, at least some aspects of intelligence. If you think of Buddhism as pioneers of awareness, they do seem naive regarding some peoples potential for malevolence and hypocritical when it comes to science. It's like they want the less aware populace to build and make stuff and to protect them, which kind of paves the way for narcissism. I also believe that narcissism is tied to disgust sensitivity, because you can't negotiate with disgust. It's an immediate response. It becomes the same kind of knee-jerk response as narcissism seem to be. It's a short-term solution with disregard to long-term consequences, like screwing up your kids, and negotiation is one thing that is impossible with narcissists.

Sorry for the late reply, I must have had notifications turned off. Allies in an insane country is good!

Me? About what? Please specify.

There is a similar situation over here. There's quite a bit of shady buisness in the restaurant buisness. They hire unskilled familymembers to do electrical work, they buy very low quality ingredients and also jobs like dishers and waiters are often subsidized by the government. One local restaurant I visited last summer, the waitress didn't even speak swedish. I too am an engineer, and the place I work for now "must" employ a woman because of diversity, because a woman decided to leave.

Immigrants, the few who actually intergrate, take up most low-level jobs. This has not only the obvious economical effects, but it also affects those that for one reason or another can't compete in jobs that require higher education. It affects us in that we now work in a different counrty. I am a minority at my workplace. It's my fault if I don't understand instructions that are given in such a bad swedish that I don't understand what they say. I am racist if I eat lunch with the few who actually are swedish that can, and dare to speak the language. One of my collegues (an immigrant) speaks perfect swedish, but he usually falls into this "broken-the-hood-swedish", the kind of accent to show that you are not of them. He speaking clean swedish is probably offensive to the other immigrants. If I were to move to get a better job, I would live in a different country. I would live in a suburb where few speak my language, and where my culture is seen as offensive. I don't go out to eat anymore, because almost all restaurants are run by immigrants. They demand that you treat them in a certain way, and cheered on by other brainwashed swedes. Being swedish and expecting staff to respect that, on the other hand, is racist. The fact that immigrants take up most low-level jobs is also great in the way that all interfacing, all communication between an individual and a buisness, whether it be a restaurant, a store, bus driver or whatever, all those are occupied by immigrants and serve as a great opportunity for me to submit to the new culture. Also it's a great way of marketing; All interaction is with "the new culture". No white-on-white communication here! No, this paints a beautiful picture of how well integrated the new swedes are. Everybody loves interacting with the new swedes! The immigrants could theoretically return to their home countries. It's funny, because when I listen to my collegues talk, they call one a chinese and another Chilean, but if I do that, I am racist. I have no country to go home to, this used to be my country. One "friend" said that "If you are so worthless that you can't compete with the immigrants, you brought it on yourself." However you twist it, it's all the swedes fault. It's all just bitching about immigration, right?

That's a difficult question to answer in retrospect. In a perfect world one road could have been sufficient, but in reality I think it was necessary to work on my issues from several angles. Many therapists or seminars have a one-size-fits-all approach, consciously or not, and many suffer from megalomania and the belief that they have answer to all issues and it adds an addictive, cult-like element to it. I think an educated and wise male role model (therapist) would have been very beneficial. This is because my father was not, so in one way or another that's what I was looking for. Group therapy or seminars was not ideal, and the social settings was detrimental to making progress.

Angelica Wiktor, 30 years old, committed suicide on 17th of June. She was raped by an immigrant while his friend stood guard. They forced themselves into her apartment. Police investigation has been dropped due to "lack of evidence" and the offenders walk free. She had documented injuries. https://petterssonsblogg.se/2017/06/20/angelica-ar-dod-och-garningsmannen-gar-fria/

I'm wondering how all this will end... There are so many things in Sweden that simply doesn't work anymore.

A not very popular swedish study on criminality and socio economics: Article: https://kit.se/2017/06/16/88686/del-3-tank-om-det-sitter-i-generna/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=post_footer&utm_name=website The study: https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/3859745/Neighborhood-Influences-on-Violent-Reoffending

codec2 is the lowest bitrate around, an open source development for digital HF-radio links. Opus is a fairly new codec suitable for everything from speech to music. Neither is practical to use for most people.

My flaws are many

Glad to see another Swede on here, there is hope

Rant about music and more. I got home and sat down on my porch and had a few beers as the sun came down. My little house have all the carecteristics of where my "ork" ends. Orka is a swedish word which means "to stand" or "to withstand". We have three of those words; orka, hinna, unna. In a way maybe significant to swedes. You know, those bastards with no culture. I have great difficulty with extending force upon that which is innocent. I don't like discarding pieces of lumber that was warped. I just don't like wastefullness. Why? Because mother. She was wasteful of everything that was me. Discard personified. I had a good cry out there with my beer. You can't enjoy the sun, a beer and cry at the same time, right? Says who. A great sadness is with me because I see how life is not other people's version. This life is my version and they mostly lied. Love is being warriors together. Love is not a pink fary tale. Love is that which goes on during battle, and it will kill you. Today's music use compression and auto-tune to eliminate evidence of where ork ends. If you hit a note and you come out flat, the muscles weren't up to it, or you had bad technique. But that's not the point. In that note, I can hear your muscles. The sounds humans make when we sleep are a very deep way of communicating, because it bypasses all the add-on brains and goes directly to the gut. We feel the breath of our partner or child sleeping next to us. This is what music is. We feel the gut through the music, and today's computer destroyed music has killed all of that. Isn't it ironic that when we finally solved a bunch of issues with audio and made it digital, we immediately used that power to make idiots make noise. Fools who have few other talents than to click with the mouse. Back in the day when everything was analog, there wasn't much you could do. And many hurdles of noise and distortion had to be coped with in order to reach through it all. But today when many of them are gone, what do we use it for? A monkey with a microphone. Let's push the feminist girl power through all those digital thingies. Modern pop music is like torture for me. Everything that is connected to the soul and the willingness to express that through sounds is eliminated in that music. It's like listening to someone nailed to a cross, in a straight jacket and brainwashed, but they sure know their "belting". It's a vocalist-term if you didn't know, and I hate it.

You do gain something from your reaction being around her. I mean that in a "coherence therapy"-way. For me I used to see everybody as better than myself, and because of that, I had to act a certain way around them. For me, this is the essence of codependency. It might not be your experience, but it is (was) mine. At the same time I hated other people. So my acting was both a way of fooling others into believing that I liked them, and fooling myself that I liked them. I was conditioned to hide my not liking others, and conditioned to believe that others were better than me. Today I am better at allowing me to feel whatever I feel towards others. It's ok to not like others, or aspects of others. All this was messed up in a knot for me. I don't any longer need for others to have a certain view of me. If others don't like me, that's fine. This is what comes to mind. Hope it helps.

The problem with attractive women is that you have an incentive to disregard her flaws. Also, if your selfworth is based on your attractiveness, you are fooling yourself.

Thanks for your reply. You are both right and wrong. How do you go to therapy with a therapist that is leftist unaware of the indoctrination, uncosciously man hating, with an IQ that is 30 points below mine? Yes I have done that kind of therapy, and it's a waste of time and money. When you have walked a road one mile, you are convinced that you have walked one mile. The same goes with therapy and the like, the belief that you now are in a better state, or even "healed" is a dangerous notion, and it has cost me a number of years of my life. Of course a masculine influence has been lacking, my father is codependent! The more my father shunned me the more points he earned by my narcissistic mother.

Sorry to hear about your childhood, JohnnyBoy. I agree with Eudaimonic that IFS is useful. Search for Gerlach on YouTube, he also has a website for selfhelp using IFS http://sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm I recently read Running on Empty by Jonice Webb which was useful. I have attended some ACA 12-step meetings, which I see you also have, but for me it's hit or miss. Usually a lot of very misinformed people in those groups, sadly. If you have a job you actually are happy with, hold on to it!

Setbacks within that which you didn't really want to do is merely excuses in disguise.

When does inability become immoral?

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I'm doing this for myself and for those on this board that has experienced narcissistic abuse or wish to learn about it. By this post and the others of yours on the forum, I can't see that you fit into any of these categories. Furthermore I disagree with the statement that it re-opens scars. Bringing understanding to trauma and sharing that understanding discharges and untangles false beliefs that narcissists force feed their victims. Next you assumes my failing to recognize an imaginery hold that my mother is claimed to have on me. She had this hold for many years. I am the only person in this family to understand, recognize and name this dysfunction. I am proud of the work I have done, and am doing. Lastly I am consumed not by thoughts of my mother, but a determination to be free of the debilitating effects of my familys pathology.

I wonder why flying monkeys are not discussed more. The narcissist is unsalvageable, there is no hope of recovery or empathy. It is a useless self destructive mission to have them in your life. The next step away from them, the "moat" of flying monkeys that protects and serve them. These are the people who are misled about who their master is. They are convinced of the false personality that the narcissist display and ignorant of all the red flags. The lack of empathy, their egoism, their selfishness and their destructiveness. Flying monkeys think they are doing the right thing, and people like myself, who has identified the narcissist is vilified. Flying monkeys are entrenched in the agenda of the narcissist and are quite willing to sacrifice people like myself. My ostracization is their mission because it pleases the narcissist.