dysfunc_survivor

2011 Landskrona Large fight police officers injured http://www.hd.se/2011-01-31/polis-slagen-med-egen-batong-pa-koppargarden 2011: Piteå (north of Sweden), Burglary Theft and Assault. investigation dropped http://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/vasternorrland/lena-vi-fick-vart-liv-forstort 2015: February 2nd: Gothenburg, Assult of police officer. http://www.expressen.se/gt/polis-slagen-i-ansiktet---ford-till-sjukhus/ March 18: 7 men guns down people at restaurant, 2 dead http://www.gp.se/nyheter/g%C3%B6teborg/sju-m%C3%A4n-f%C3%A4llda-f%C3%B6r-v%C3%A5r-krog-bar-d%C3%A5det-1.4066288?stampenHideCookieInformation=Jag+f%C3%B6rst%C3%A5r March 18: Scrap Yard owner 40 break ins since 2010, police: "not a priority" http://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/helsingborg/skrothandlaren-risk-att-man-tar-saken-i-egna-hander August 21: Tumba (Stockholm suburb) Policevan attacked http://www.dn.se/sthlm/polisen-attackerad-i-tumba/ 2016: February: Asylumhousing in Orust. Large fight / riots http://www.expressen.se/gt/storbrak-brot-ut-pa-flyktingforlaggning/ May 2nd: Attempted homicide, Uppsala http://www.expressen.se/nyheter/polis-misshandla-under-utryckning/ August: Asperger woman brutally raped 4 yrs prison + deportation http://www.aftonbladet.se/a/5aMVK August 3rd: Parents of girlfriend murdered by boyfriend http://omni.se/poliskalla-pojkvannen-mordade-for-att-fa-stanna/a/PQw3z Oct 2nd: Visby Gotland, Another Aperger woman in wheelchair raped by 6 afghanis. Investigation dropped http://nyheteridag.se/utredningen-laggs-ner-rullstolsburen-kvinna-pa-gotland-anmalde-gruppvaldtakt-pa-toalett/ Oct 29th: Västerås, Young boy raped by 5 men http://www.expressen.se/nyheter/minderarig-pojke-misstankt-valdtagen/ November: Ulricehamn, Theft, caught on security camera, Store owner finds individual via facebook, Investigation dropped http://www.bt.se/ulricehamn/utredningen-laggs-ned-trots-tydliga-bildbevis/ Nov3rd Malmö: Homicide + attempted homicide http://www.sydsvenskan.se/2016-11-02/tva-skadade-vid-tva-skjutningar-i-malmo 2017: March 6th Hallsberg, riots 11 people apprehended http://www.na.se/blaljus/brott/upploppet-i-hallsberg-alla-elva-anhallna-for-valdsamt-upplopp March 10, Molestation of several girls at indoor swimmingpool http://www.na.se/blaljus/brott/upploppet-i-hallsberg-alla-elva-anhallna-for-valdsamt-upplopp March 14th Eskiltuna, Riots http://www.ekuriren.se/eskilstuna/polispadrag-i-lagerberg/ March 15th Åkersberga (Stockholm suburb) 3 injured gang violence http://www.expressen.se/nyheter/tre-skadade-efter-skottlossning/ March 15th Borlänge Theft from Ambulance during rescue http://www.dt.se/blaljus/brott/tjuv-slog-till-mitt-under-pagaende-ambulansutryckning March 16th Kristianstad: Attempted kidnapping of 10-year old girl http://www.kristianstadsbladet.se/kristianstad/man-forsokte-rova-bort-flicka/ March 17th Bottnaryd: Wife stabbed to death http://www.jp.se/article/kvinnan-nekade-till-sex-hoggs-till-dods-av-man/ March 17th Gothenburg: Attempted robbey 8 men on one victim http://www.expressen.se/gt/man-attackerades-av-ungdomsgang--ford-till-sjukhus/ March 17th Skärholmen (Stockholm suburb) Ten youths attacked police https://www.svd.se/tio-ungdomar-attackerade-poliser-med-stenar March 17th Skarpnäck (Stockholm suburb) Attempted kidnapping of 2 girls http://www.expressen.se/nyheter/man-forsokte-locka-in-flickor-i-bil-vid-skola/?social=fb March 17th Uddevalla, Stabbing http://www.expressen.se/gt/kvinna-gripen-for-knivdad-vid-mataffar/?social=fb March 17th Borås, Rape http://www.expressen.se/gt/kvinna-hittad-utomhus-efter-misstankt-valdtakt/?social=fb March 17th Malmö, Attempted homicide http://www.sydsvenskan.se/2017-03-17/misstankt-valdsbrott-i-lagenhet-i-malmo-tekniker-har-varit-pa-plats?utm_source=fb&utm_term=2017-03-17T21%3A32%3A31+01%3A00&utm_medium=list-bottom&utm_campaign=75e78dea-fe06-4de1-954b-a27591610247 March 17th Tranås Man assulted by 3 men http://www.tranastidning.se/article/tre-man-haktas-for-grov-misshandel/ March 17th Nordmaling (North of Sweden) Burglaries, several http://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/vasterbotten/polisen-i-nordmaling-ar-som-jesus March 17th Söderhamn 21-year old teacher molested students http://omni.se/larare-haktad-misstankt-for-flera-sexuella-overgrepp/a/VnL31

Thread for posting links to, and discussion of immigration related crimes in Sweden. https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1chA4hWXfmlPvkhm5gpTkMCb1XDQ&hl&ll=64.61136893599594%2C5.812402550000002&z=4

@RC91 I can relate to your situation. A few months ago I talked with an acquaintance about my situation, which is somewhat similar. He didn't really say anything useful, but I realized that I in a way made him responsible for "fixing me". I was looking to get something. Seeking help is a tricky thing because often people who like to be seen as supportive will want to do their thing and "help". The saying "if you want something done, ask someone busy" comes to mind. Voluntary help, as on forums, is sometimes given out of subconscious reasons. I found your thread by searching for "resentment" so that tells you something about me. I am unmotivated to take action, because I have resentment. Neither forgivness nor resentment, which I would say are related can be "willed". In a way, resentment comes from "selling at a too low price". You have been conditioned to lower your value. You will not become motivated simply by getting more information. Information in and of itself is not your problem, I think. At least not on the surface level. You already have the information, like I realized talking to that acquaintance. It's more a question of structuring and re-evaluating the information you already have.

You are completely correct. Self-soothing is better wording than "the addictive brain". I write a lot, what ends up here is just a fraction of it. Old self-soothing methods, or even rituals keep on living their own life. It has become a routine that I tend to act out regardless if it creates a useful outcome or not. A separation of emotion and action, two room mates that doesn't communicate. Re-evaluation of this separation illuminates its existance in other parts of my life - doing things that doesn't create the desired results, and the lack of something to replace the automatic rituals. Exorcising the ghosts that animated me. It leaves a void, a lack of motivation. Firmware has been deleted.

Not a fan of the EU or Swedens membership. I think each nation should take care of their own buisness. Shared policies across borders should be carefully regulated and be kept at a minimum.

I am getting help with my issues it's not exactly therapy though. It's a different approach from what I have come in contact with before. The winter months really gets to me. Every year I say it's the last winter I will spend in Sweden. Lately I have been feeling much better, I am not really sure why. I am unemployed and looking for a job. On the 24th of february, I had an jobinterview. I was quite relaxed going there, because the job seemed well below my level of competence. This lowering of my guard was a mistake. The CEO of the company joined the interview, which surprised me. Here comes the interesting part: He started shit-testing me. Asking quite rude questions and making condescending remarks. Unfortunately my codependent role kicked in, and I didn't really see what was going on until later. He was narcissistic. On my way home this feeling of just wanting to die came over me, to end this struggle of portraying myself as a super hero just to get a f*cking job. This feeling is nothing new for me, but have been absent since this encounter. I started asking myself from where these feelings came. The way I saw it was that "I had done what I should", came to the interview on time and was nice etc, but still I felt horrible. Now what I call "the addictive brain" kicked in. It usually does for me. Wanting to get drunk and so forth. I was re-traumatized by the meeting with this person and it took me quite a while to understand what just happened. To me it is quite disheartening that people can't even be nice to each other. It's just a job. I am very sensitive to stress unfortunately, which is to be expected having a history like mine (CPTSD)

@Ninja After those years of depression, I don't think it's a good idea to go back to one of your primary abusers. I'd put my energy into starting a family, if that is what you want. Also I don't see any anger in your post, which troubles me. I think you should be angry at your father that treated you like this. Regarding the fear of being left alone - You are already alone. He was never there for you, just like my father was never there for me. When I see people posting for example on facebook that they miss their parent passed away etc - consider this: Parents who passed away (i.e left you) of old age is one thing, but parents who actively chose to leave their children physically or emotionally, like ours did... Call me bitter, but I have very little left for anyone who does that.

Welcome to the boards fellow swede! My spontaneous suggestion is: don't go back to Sweden. I think you'll regret it. I'm myself looking for ways to leave.

Hejsvejs nu är vi två svenskar med fungerande hjärna

So I have been going basically no contact with my mother. She keeps calling and emailing and today the mask really came off. She emailed me saying: "Can you f*cking answer when I call!!??" I haven't seen it this blatant before.

Since I don't know their setup, there is not much more than speculation that I could do. It could have to do with the software they use. It could have to do with how the audio setup is done. Probably they use one computer for skype and one for recording. Like I said, I can't do much more than speculate without knowledge of the setup etc.

You can't correct spectral content. Also, the amount of content Stef and co puts out, there is no time to do extra post-processing. Here are examples of clips with aliasing: No aliasing:

Dumbing it down, huh? Since it's a technical matter, there is not many ways to put it in simpler terms. It's easy to google the definitions, I'm not wikipedia.

I have a number years of working with audio as a musician, and as an engineer. I'm noticing aliasing / fold-over distortion on all shows that has a caller. It sounds like mixing of samplerates with no pre-filtering. The shows that have no caller doesn't have this, so it seems related to skype. For me it's very audible when Stef say "s". I could help with that if there is interest.

Hm, so she put you in the unfriend-box. How halal of her.

Being kept prisoner, fed and fattened up but having my facutlies amputated creates an immense dissonance.

Thank you! This looks very interesting. I managed to locate a therapist, will give it a try. These videos: (4 parts) were very interesting too.

Hi I agree that I would benefit from a better psychologist. Funny thing is that I requested just that and met with one on january 2nd. He didn't speak my language very well. When I asked him about narcissism he stated that "he had read a little about it". This is the general level of public mental healthcare over here. I'm not sure what you mean by "a more coherent approach". Feel free to expand I am a "veteran journalist" so to speak. I write a lot. I think I began journaling when I was in my teens.

Thank you for the welcome! The more I learn and the more insights I have, the more I understand how and why I have gotten where I am. Today I see my situation with greater seriousness, which sometimes is depressing. Looking back, I don't really understand how I was thinking things were to turn out. During this last year I have put many pieces of the puzzle into place and I can see that things needed to be worked out in a certain way to make sense, especially regarding my parents. Growing up as a codependent, my relation especially to my mother was very much conditioned to her needs, one of them being that she needed me to see her as a strong, helping authority. The mindf*ck of being told that "I wasn't sick" and "she was normal" made it go so deep, it's hard to explain. Recently I have started to hold her accountable for her actions instead of just accepting and coping (be a good boy!) and lifting that rock of ignorance takes a lot of vermins out in the light. She uses emotional manipulation, she asks questions and if I ask one back, she completely ignores it, derailing any attempt to negotiate or to actually be part of the conversation. She ignores and projects everything, she never mentions her actual perception or understanding of anything I say. Instead it's always me that misunderstands her. I am very close to going no contact. I don't have time to deal with bullies anymore. This of course makes her claim that I am mean and unfair, very childlike. And it's all completely unaware from her side. She does nothing wrong in her world, I am just mean and ungrateful. It's quite common for codependents to wait forever for the narcissist "to come around". This explains why it's taken so many years. It also explains one of my "best qualities" which is patience. I could wait forever. It's called codependency anorexia. This kills the spirit and the will. I don't know what I want. This starved state is quite dangerous, especially to write about publicly like this because narcissists are drawn to it like vampires to blood. Like a limping deer with a broken leg. Regarding the music, I am a great musician but due to the above, relations have always ended because of my difficulties to actually negotiate and have real relations with healthy people. I hope this can change going forward.

I feel proud that I didn't take the usual route of dismissing others which I have done a lot. I've been thinking lately about child defiance (terrible twos and so forth) bullying and relations. It's a big mess for me.

As a codependent myself, this relationship from what I have read (not super carefully, I admit) reeks of narcissism / codependency. I suggest the book Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg. My mother is a covert narcissist. Her manipulation of the narrative in my family had me fooled for many years despite me being in therapy. It's not an easy thing to spot, especially if you're been in it for a long time. It's the reddest pill you can take, in my experience.

Unspecific. It is probably of greater help that I haven't heard back. I was thinking today what my subconscious motives might have been. I probably wanted a reason to hate Stef, because that's the kind of response my parents used to do and still does. The kind of "You don't have a question" type of response, but expressed through sighs and eyerolling etc. My parents are bullies so I was setting up Stef to be one too.

Long title, yes. My awakening has been a slow coming. It's somewhat late in life but I don't want to spend the rest in misery. I am 44 years old. I live in Absurdistan, formerly known as Sweden. My dream was to become a musician. How clever. Nobody pays for those anymore. I compensated my dysfunction by practicing my instrument insane number of hours. Didn't work. "Never give up on your dreams". Only a fool keeps pursuing dreams that are disguised nightmares. I want to give something back. I've learned so much but my truth is insanity here. I have nothing to show for the effort I have put in. I want to move away from here. My therapists have told me that it's a escape mechanism, that I don't want to face my fears. It's funny because when I have told them about what I have faced they end the therapy (because of transferrence?). Yay public healtcare! It seems that what is needed for this country is viewed as so offensive that it is completely impossible to convey. Being a middle aged supposedly privileged white male but lacking the evidence for that priviledge, i e the fancy car, the fancy apartment in the fancy community etc, it seems a futile endeavour. My "career" has been interrupted several times due to depression. Like I told a friend recently; "The only thing I know is to get a job." Working with low intelligence, leftist feminists that get drunk on the weekend. Yeah that dream I had kind of screwed up my chances of increasing my income. 40 to 80 is a long time.

Yeah, cause I emailed them in october and yesterdays caller stated that she's been listening to the show for 2 months so. It was pissing me off.

Hi all First post on here. I was wondering if there is any info on how call-in participants are chosen? I guess it's not a linear type waiting line right?