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Hi thinkers and alike, It's been mentioned a couple of times on the show, thought it might be just as well more accessible to a greater number of people... plus it's getting increasingly important to remind ourselves. I found the story (real) to be undeniably fascinating and deeply insightful. "Of Elephants and Men" - Wade Horn, PhD "Some years ago, officials at the Kruger National Park and game reserve in South Africa were faced with a growing elephant problem. The population of African elephants, once endangered, had grown larger than the park could sustain. So measures had to be taken to thin the ranks. A plan was devised to relocate some of the elephants to other African game reserves. Being enormous creatures, elephants are not easily transported. So a special harness was created to air-lift the elephants and fly them out of the park using helicopters. The helicopters were up to the task, but, as it turned out, the harness wasn’t. It could handle the juvenile and adult female elephants, but not the huge African bull elephants. A quick solution had to be found, so a decision was made to leave the much larger bulls at Kruger and relocate only some of the female elephants and juvenile males. The problem was solved. The herd was thinned out, and all was well at Kruger National Park. Sometime later, however, a strange problem surfaced at South Africa’s other game reserve, Pilanesburg National Park, the younger elephants’ new home. Rangers at Pilanesburg began finding the dead bodies of endangered white rhinoceros. At first, poachers were suspected, but the huge rhinos had not died of gunshot wounds, and their precious horns were left intact. The rhinos appeared to be killed violently, with deep puncture wounds. Not much in the wild can kill a rhino, so rangers set up hidden cameras throughout the park. The result was shocking. The culprits turned out to be marauding bands of aggressive juvenile male elephants, the very elephants relocated from Kruger National Park a few years earlier. The young males were caught on camera chasing down the rhinos, knocking them over, and stomping and goring them to death with their tusks. The juvenile elephants were terrorizing other animals in the park as well. Such behavior was very rare among elephants. Something had gone terribly wrong. Some of the park rangers settled on a theory. What had been missing from the relocated herd was the presence of the large dominant bulls that remained at Kruger. In natural circumstances, the adult bulls provide modeling behaviors for younger elephants, keeping them in line. Juvenile male elephants, Dr. Horn pointed out, experience “musth,” a state of frenzy triggered by mating season and increases in testosterone. Normally, dominant bulls manage and contain the testosterone-induced frenzy in the younger males. Left without elephant modeling, the rangers theorized, the younger elephants were missing the civilizing influence of their elders as nature and pachyderm protocol intended. To test the theory, the rangers constructed a bigger and stronger harness, then flew in some of the older bulls left behind at Kruger. Within weeks, the bizarre and violent behavior of the juvenile elephants stopped completely. The older bulls let them know that their behaviors were not elephant-like at all. In a short time, the younger elephants were following the older and more dominant bulls around while learning how to be elephants."

Hey yall, I have been off the forums (was of course still donating) for about 4 years but still on board with FDR's message. I am having some depression issues lately I would love to talk about with some people. I have been to therapy and had a talk on Stefan's show years ago but am still fighting some demons deeply ingrained in me. Background: My parents neglected me my during my entire childhood, they ignored me when I was physically and verbally abused at school/church/home/by my older brother/everywhere. When I was 10 I voiced a concern that I was extremely unhappy with how life was and would not mind dying. I was not asking to die then, I was just stating that I would totally accept that as a finality to escape everything I was forced to deal with. My parents, being asshats, decided to drug me with SSRI's (when I was 10) which only increased my suicidal thoughts while simultaneously convincing me that I cannot trust my parents to take care of me. I stopped opening up to everyone and everything and was essentially a walking husk from age 10-21. I cried almost every day due to the social isolation/bullying/no empathy from anyone/no one cared about my experiences and other emotionally devastating experiences that would take up far too much room on this post so I will leave it with this: I was told my entire life to man up, stop crying, blah blah blah other completely heartless things a normal person would NEVER say to a victim of physical/emotional abuse. From ages 10-21 I wished for some way to die, not by my hands because my self esteem had been so utterly destroyed I could never bring myself to do such a thing, it would just be a very easy escape from the situations forced on me that will never leave my mind. My issue as of today, I am 25, is that the part of me that was forced to go through those experiences is still with me and he is still emotionally devastated. I have given that entity, I call him childhood me, as much love as I possibly can. I tell him every day that I love him, I support him and we can never go back in time to give ourselves a happy childhood that we should have had. I encourage him, I support him, I NEVER call him names, I don't put him down and I try to treat him as nice as possible because of how terrible I feel for the crap he had to put up with. Despite this self-love, the childhood me still feels like a mutilated rag-doll that has felt such self-hate, external hate, ridicule, humiliation, neglect, cold indifference and isolation he is still opting for the surrender and give up option. I am seeking more therapy but in the long-term the therapies I went through did not seem to curb these thought process. Please let me know your thoughts, the current me does not want to die. He (current me) wants to fight child abuse to his dying breath but he is forever-more linked to the childhood me who is still suffering from a lack of love/connection in my past. -Jeremy Motivation for song: NF Let you down

We all know how rare it is to come across healthy individuals, let alone healthy families. I find it very fascinating to see healthy people interacting, especially when that joy of living is shared across the generations. I want to create this kind of positive familial environment, too, and given how hard this is to achieve when coming from a dysfunctional background, it is good to see it existing in another place. Imagine growing up as one of those children! The video below is by the successful YouTuber Wranglerstar, which is a homesteading channel.

Hi thinkers and alike, Are you familiar with the name Tony Attwood? I hadn't been, until seeing a short, titled "Is Asperger's syndrome the next stage of human evolution? - Australian Story". This is me walking on an imaginary thin ice, because almost sure if this subject became a presentation material... there'd be more than just a few raised eyebrows in the wake... but nevertheless, say Stefan did delve into the history and implications of the story. Surely it would be one of the most explosive and 'edgy' ones that would echo throughout the scientific community, mainstream. I guess it's probably not the right time, seeing the current zeitgeist and the list of priorities 'n all, but still. Evidently there are far more important issues, plus he'd have to be 'extra careful', choosing precisely the entry delivery and timing (me thinks). Although, not necessarily. If he was to approach it from certain neutral angles until he could excavate just enough connections, (sorry for being too broad, don't want to imply anything unfair, I still could be wrong) doing so and attracting viewership/awareness, there could be some who'd point out the more controversial aspects later at which point a follow-up could be... etc., dunno. Anyhow, I don't want to be my past self who had had seen the short post red-pill, would have seen it in a com-PLETE-LY different light vs. me now highly suspicious of the doctor from the get go, feeling sorry for his son. Am I alone in my suspicion that he isn't able to practice what he preaches? That he just rationalised his failings (in the video where he draws into the air with his fingers while narrating the research progress, explaining away how he couldn't have seen it coming...) I don't know what to make of it but doesn't feel right.(feel=I have a few arguments too if the opportunity comes to discussing them) Barnsley p. s. {I'm open to moving the post under a different &/ better category, if necessary. Where to?}

In Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, he expresses support for the use of corporal punishment and argues that it can be an effective form of discipline. What does the research say? Introduction: 0:00 Quotations: 0:18 Research: 3:45 Contradiction: 5:59 Ending Corporal Punishment: 6:59 Conclusion: 7:56 References: 8:52 References Durrant, J. E., Ensom, R., & Coalition on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth. (2004). Joint statement on physical punishment of children and youth. Ottawa: Coalition on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth. Durrant, J., & Ensom, R. (2012). Physical punishment of children: lessons from 20 years of research. CMAJ, 184(12), 1373-1377. doi:10.1503/cmaj.101314 Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and child development: We know enough now to stop hitting our children. Child Development Perspectives, 7(3), 133-137. Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and child outcomes: old controversies and new meta-analyses. Journal of Family Psychology, 1-17. doi:10.1037/fam0000191 Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. (2017). Ending legalised violence against children: global progress to December 2017. Author. Retrieved from www.endcorporalpunishment.org/resources/global-reports/global-report-2017.html Mulvaney, M. K., & Mebert, C. J. (2007). Parental corporal punishment predicts behavior problems in early childhood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 389-397. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.21.3.389 Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 rules for life: an antidote to chaos. Toronto: Random House Canada. Straus, A, M., Sugarman, D. B., & Giles-Sims, J. (1997). Spanking by parents and subsequent antisocial behavior of children. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med, 151, 761-767. Vittrup, B., & Holden, G. W. (2010). Children's assessments of corporal punishment and other disciplin ary practices: the role of age, race, SES, and exposure to spanking. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31, 211-220. doi:10.1016/j.appdev.2009.11.003 Further Reading Afifi, T. O., Ford, D., Gershoff, E. T., Merrick, M., Grogan-Kaylor, A., Ports, K. A., . . . Bennett, R. P. (2017). Spanking and adult mental health impairment: The case for the designation of spanking as an adverse childhood experience. Child Abuse & Neglect, 71, 24-31. Gershoff, E. T., & Bitensky, S. H. (2007). The case against corporal punishment of children. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 13(4), 231-272. doi:10.1037/1076-8971.13.4.231

I've heard good arguments from both sides and my intuition says bad parenting, but I'd like to know if anyone has some really strong arguments for either side. I'd like to be a parent some day and if it is really just a phase, I'd like to be aware so that I can be supportive. As well I think it would put my teenage years in a slightly better perspective. Perhaps it's a combination? I also realize that I put this in the wrong forum, my mistake...

This problem's bugged me on and off so I wanna run past you guys before I'm 30 and panicking. I'm gay and I want to have children some day. Lots of them preferably, all raised peacefully. The problems I foresee are lack of female influence, conflict in who's child should be given birth to, and if we both have a child the problem of favoritism by genes (racism kinda). 1. Female influence. A stable nuclear family is crucial to the healthy development of children. Both fathers and mothers bring characteristics that acclimatize kids to the sexes and help balance each other out. Also women have boobs which helps with breastfeeding and IQ. (I think breastfeeding boosts IQ. Don't know if that's true.) 2. Who has the kid. Adoption is out of the question. Has to be my genes and has to start from square one. If I decided to have one kid with my partner, conflict may arise with who's sperm gets into the egg. This is a non-issue with a nuclear family. Which leads to... 3. Genetic favoritism. If both of us have surrogate children, favoritism by genetic origin could cause conflict. This I have second thoughts on, because virtue trumps bloodline, and children raised virtuously can't help but mirror that virtue. Has anyone else had thoughts about this situation? Any gay guys on here had this dilemma? I don't wanna raise a kid in a naturally dysfunctional environment and I wanna take care of this concern now. I feel like the answer is right in front of me but I can't see it through my caution. I feel like I'm operating on broken biology.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1690455/?ref_=nv_sr_2 Just wanted to share this thought-provoking movie. It's an exploration of a man in his 30s who seems to be stuck in a childish state of mind. It's quite cringy as his life catalyzes over the span of the events of the film. It offers some welcome commentary on parenting in an age where this kind of critique is somewhat taboo. I'd be interested to hear what others here think of it. Despite it being fiction, I found myself desperate to find out how the character got this way and how things would turn out. This man reminded my powerfully of myself and people I grew up with. It was startling.

Hi everyone, help is much needed!!! My three year old has developed a habit of hitting and kicking me - not to sound nonchalant, I can expand more on this if needed and am happy to. How do I deal with this so that I don't come across as a spineless wimp who doesn't believe in fighting back?

Hello FDR community! I would like to know your thoughts about the ethics and emotional necessity of caring for ones parents in old age and through sickness. I've always felt it was a persons duty to care for their parents. I've also felt that being with our parents through that terrifying experience gives us essential knowledge and perspective about life and death. I know that the ethics around this topic are relative and so I'll share a bit about my current relationship to this common human experience in order to create more opportunity for the responses to this topic to help me understand the root of my interest in this subject. My parents neglected and abused me to the extant that I have endured a great deal of trauma. They are now having health issues from living a life of overconsumption of toxic substances. They both deny their illness. My Father has been telling me that some of his organs are injured for the past 2 years. The first thing was hepatitis C, he contracted before I was born. He has a history of heroine abuse so he may have contracted while living in London in his early 20's. He denies that possibility but does not deny using heroine. Though he was aware of the virus before I was born he took medication to get rid of the virus at the age of 55 because he thought it was making him fatigued. He decided to take a newer experimental drug so that he wouldn't have to pay as much for the prescription. One of the drugs caused his haemoglobin to drop and he went to the doctor reporting pain in his left arm and his chest. He was sent to hospital and after some weeks found that the results of the testing he had done showed that he has clogged arteries. He also discovered that 30% of his liver is not functioning while being tested for eligibility to take the experimental drug. He denies any of this has to do with a lifetime of chronic drinking and smoking. He did quit smoking 10 years ago and drinks less now. .. When he discovered he had clogged arteries he was in denial and attributed the results to his physical reaction to the severe drop in haemoglobin. It was suggested that he go for surgery but refused. I spoke to him yesterday and he has decided that he will in fact go for the surgery for a number of reasons including 'everyday when I go to the gym, after about 8 minutes on the treadmill I start to feel a pain in my left arm' and that the doctor has classified him as high risk. ... He takes pride in the fact that he is still going to the gym. .. He has asked me to go back to my hometown (the bad part of hell) to take care of him. There is no where else I could be but there while he goes through this. I have a relatively strong loyalty to my parents. I tell myself to be grateful that I have the chance to see him again. But this isn't going to be triggering emotions associated with mortality alone. There is also the feeling that I've been neglected and traumatized by this person and now I must go and watch him suffer the consequences of indulging in the things that were more important to him than my well being(smoking, drinking, an unjustified and irrational moral authority, etc). I must watch him suffer while feeling the panic and pain associated with watching a loved one suffer. And there is also the pain of the cause being self inflicted And the pain of the absolute terrorized destruction of my potential to have a peaceful life as a result of his masochism And the fear of the only person in the world I think is closest to loving me unconditionally being gone- The fear of being alone. Then- there is the fear of interacting with him, putting up with the non reality, untruth, disassociation, and sometimes still, though I am almost 30, agression and possibly physical violence. There is the fear that I will become so upset in this situation that I'll break. I've just come into relative emotional and material stability after almost 3 years of chronic depression, possibly longer. I'm living in a city far away and have made arrangements to take prerequisite courses in order to prepare for furthering my education should it happen I don't find a suitable father figure to have a family with. I'll have to leave everything here (which isn't that great but is heaven compared to my hometown) in order to care for my father. This should not make me feel this kind of discomfort. I feel like I should be entirely grateful to be able to take care of him. There is a part of me that is spared injury because I feel more secure taking care of my dad than leaving him without anyone around who has an intrinsic value in his well being. It would drive me insane if I couldn't be there for some reason. But I'm more terrified of the kind of insanity that being in an abusive environment while enduring great loss could cause me to retreat into. Since our discussion yesterday I've been in a completely disassociated state and I've been experiencing psychosomatic physical pain in a number of ways that are incredibly distracting. I suppose my question is, If family is the most important thing and that is why I must care for my father(aside from love) And his lack of care for me has created a threat to my ability to further our family by having the emotional, psychological, and material stability required to have my own children And caring for him may further that threat by breaking down the self worth I've been diligently building based on truth and reason Then is it not the best thing for our family for me to protect myself from further injury? I'm concerned that my feeling of obligation comes from a place of cowardice rather than Reason. Some advice I've received is 'don't let the past get in the way' 'you'll regret it if you don't go' 'you owe it to him' And I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time accepting those claims. I understand them but the reality is that the result of my going to my hometown and being close to my family is always conflict. Conflicts where when I ask myself if I have or ever would treat my parents the way they treat me I am shocked at the disparity between the level of respect we have for each other. I understand that therapy will help, I've been moving in that direction but at this point I'll be going to to take care of my father without a doubt in my mind so I'll likely wait until I arrive to find one. I'm hoping that seeing a therapist will allow me to have the time I desire with my dad and help me to avoid any conflict. I find it almost impossible to believe that taking care of a loved one could be the wrong thing to do. Looking forward to your thoughts and I hope this thread is of some use to all of you!

Preeclampsia and other pregnancy complications as an adaptive response to unfamiliar semen - JENNIFER A. DAVIS AND GORDON G. GALLUP JR. State University of New York at Albany How's this for an argument on committed relationships lead to healthier children? This information is new and may, or may not, hold up over time. Although, I didn't see a public argument against it--which would mostly be people with pitchforks and torches because this could bring a lot of parties to a crashing halt. (Insert scratched record sound here!)

I have heard Stefan several times stating that Germany did not go through an enlightenment age. Does anybody know what exactly he means by this? Because surely there were numerous enlightenment philosophers that came from Germany, and frankly I have not heard this statement anywhere else. To the extent that it may be correct, I would find it very interesting to do a discussion on how that may have played a part in developing a German parenting tradition, which to this day is extremely different from parenting in, say, Scandinavia. While Scandinavian parenting today is probably the most peaceful in the world, German parents - even though I am not sure if they hit their children more - demand to be treated with a much higher degree of respect and deference. An example of this is how you shold never use the informal second person singular "du" to people who are older than you are, except your parents and grandparents, basically. I have a German friend who told me his girlfriend's parents once invited him home for champagne to mark that after three years, he was now allowed to call them "du". Even though this essentially is a cultural phenomenon and not a particularly moral issue, I still think it may be a symptom of certain aspects of ideological and/or philosophical history, which would be an interesting aspect to explore.

I wanted to share this amazing book I just finished reading called: Boys Adrift http://www.boysadrift.com/ In this book Leonard Sax addresses a lot of the dysgenic effects rallied against in the gene wars while going on to give solutions parents could implement. I think Leonard Sax would make a really good guest on the program. I heard in this book things about DSM4 I never had before and environmental estrogen that now have me swearing off plastics

Hello Everyone, I made a short presentation (7 min) on corporal punishment. It's unlisted on YouTube, at the moment. The idea was to create a sort of 'pilot' for a YouTube channel called 'PsychologyTube', that I'm thinking about starting in the future. The idea for the channel was somewhat inspired by an existing channel called 'Philosophy Tube'. The presentation style and concept were more appealing to me than the actual content - the presenter is pretty Left-leaning. Anyway, I'd really appreciate some feedback. I think the quality is OK, considering it was created with a smart phone. If, in the future, I can prove to myself and the viewers that I'm capable of making good content, consistently, I will invest in superior audio-visual equipment. Again, this was just a test so any constructive feedback is welcome. Thanks

First of all, I apologize for not being well informed on the legal requirements for consent when it comes to circumcision. It is my understanding that only one parent is required to consent to the procedure, typically the mother. That being said, a friend of mine was recently persuaded by her husband to consent to circumcision for their newborn son. After several months of arguing and debating the morality and ethics of the barbaric procedure, she caved into his request. I'm not certain why he was so persistent, however I know that it resulted in a bargaining situation- in exchange for her consent he agreed to quit smoking. In other words, she traded an ounce of her son's flesh for a lifestyle change agreement that would potentially benefit the entire family. She continues to regret the decision, now with the weight of her choice pressing down on her conscious. I believe that she's comforting herself by shoveling the blame of her decision towards her husband, and the "at least" factor of their abhorrent deal making. However, the bottom line is that she is responsible for her decision. She is a well educated woman, who knew both in her gut and in her brain that it was a terrible idea. A couple of the questions this incident has made me consider: What are the consequences of sacrificing one's sense of integrity for another's pleasure? Why would someone do that? Should both parent's be required to consent to circumcision? Should the mother have the ultimate authority over circumcision? What advice can I give her to help her gain something out of this awful experience?

I took the title from the front page of the Globe & Mail today. I was once an illegal immigrant who was deported over the southern border, refiled and came back legally. I now hold permanent residence for where I was once deported. I hate to begin an argument with the phrase; "as a ______." Fortunately I didn't get around to forming an argument.. so here is my life story- raw facts as unemotional as I can present it Introduction This situation is going to sound complicated due to my parents avoiding the proper system, then even further complicated by immigration red tape. My parents moved to Canada before I was born, they are both Americans. They ran a family business, got a home and created family there. Ironically while living in Canada my mother went through the trouble of making sure my brother and I would be born in Michigan like the rest of the family... so we could be presidents... This would of required a considerable amount of planning, so it is understandable why when having her final child as mother to two kids already, one seven and in school she stayed at the home in Canada. We made fun of my sister a lot growing up as being the sole Canadian in the family... then like karma when I was 17 I got deported for not being Canadian and she got to stay.... Since moving to Canada for temporary work they had settled down and decided they wanted to make home there now. This is where chaos ensues. Up until that point everything was fine, my classmates would always insist I was just like them but I would contend we were very different. I would like to explore these feelings of kinship later, but lets get back to the plot. My parents decided that moving forward the best step would be to hire a family immigration attorney. The lawyer then determined the best option was to apply for status from within Canada... apparently this set off a red flag that notified Canadian authorities that we were in the country illegally. Other attorneys have since said we should of applied for status from outside of Canada and would of been fine. The immigration racket is very corrupt and dirty, it is an open secret by everyone in it that you must abuse the options- and that only a fool would do everything properly.... well my parents hired a fool. This triggered a long series of delaying judgement while filing for whatever was viable, humanitarian compassion and aid, family reunification, anything that works is on the table. These forms costs thousands, sometimes in the tens of thousands to get done. As the parent is must be frustrating doing all of this... and then coming up with an answer to the kids when they ask what is up with our status, am I going to be able to get a job finally? I had a coop at a bank for school I couldn't proceed with cause it was going to "just a couple more weeks till our papers came in," little more than a year later I was being deported. The judgement took many years. By the time we finally did all get status my brother was over the age to be included as a dependent for the family migration... he was maybe in middle school, at least still in high school when it began... a few months later I would be in the same boat and like him still without status today. The judgement was that we were illegal immigrants or something, I'm not sure... I always thought of myself as a foreign national. The process went down like this... our immigration was rejected, at this point we were given a removal order. Two months into my last year of high school I had to go with my parents to the immigration office in Niagara Falls, they were waiting to receive, and process us. We were escorted over the bridge and handed off to the American border patrol. The removal order was placed on my two parents and me forcing us to leave the country by the date given, an additional exclusion order was put on my parents barring them from entry for 1 year. My brother was not included as he had been dropped from the family migration at this point, and was living in Michigan. my sister- the Canadian didn't have to go with us, there was no immigration hassle for her... I mean other than losing her family and having to move around from house to house to family friends like the kids from 'the series of unfortunate events' Now ask me anything so we can make a thread outta this.

Has anyone read this book?, I am on chapter 13 find it quite interesting. The author was Inspired by Ayn Rand work. I am in the part about sharing, I never thought that in addition to tell my son to share if he feels like it that he needs to think about not accepting things from other person that "shared" with him through coercion. But it makes sense.

Hello Everyone My friend and I created a Chinese translation of FDR's 'The Facts About Spanking' video. My friend did the translation and I edited everything together. If you know anyone who speaks Chinese or who knows people who speak Chinese, feel free to share the video with them. Also, many of the sources cited in FDR's original video are secondary sources so I've added several other primary sources related to corporal punishment which you may find useful. I have listed the new sources below, along with the video. By the way, I originally tried to send this video to Michael but he stopped responding to me after a few emails. I'm not sure why. I tried to send the video to both Michael and Stefan again but I heard nothing from either of them. Thus, I'm just going to post it here and if they want to use it, that's fine, of course. New sources: Ferguson, C. (2013). Spanking, corporal punishment and negative long-term outcomes: A meta analytic review of longitudinal studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 33, 196-208. Gershoff, E. T. (2002). Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors and Experiences: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 539-579. Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children. Child Development Perspectives, 7(3), 133-137. Gershoff, E. T., & Bitensky, S. H. (2007). The Case Against Corporal Punishment. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 13(4), 231-272. Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses. Journal of Family Psychology, 1-17. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/fam0000191 Holden, G. W., Coleman, S. M., & Schmidt, K. L. (1995). Why 3-year-old children get spanked: Parent and child determinants as reported by college-educated mothers. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 41(4), 431-452. Mulvaney, M. K., & Mebert, C. J. (2007). Parental Corporal Punishment Predicts Behavior Problems in Early Childhood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 389-397. States which have prohibited all corporal punishment. (2015, November 14). Retrieved from Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children: http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org Straus, M. A., & Stewart, J. H. (1999). Corporal Punishment by American Parents: National Data on Prevalence, Chronicity, Severity, and Duration, in Relation to Child and Family Characteristics. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2(2), 55-70. UNICEF. (2014). Hidden in plain sight: A statistical analysis of violence against children. New York, NY: UNICEF. Vittrup, B., & Holden, G. W. (2010). Children's assessments of corporal punishment and other disciplinary practices: The role of age, race, SES, and exposure to spanking. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31, 211-220. Vittrup, B., Holden, G. H., & Buck, J. (2006). Attitudes Predict the Use of Physical Punishment: A Prospective Study of the Emergence of Disciplinary Practices. Pediatrics, 117, 2055-2064. Why you should never spank a child - major research project confirms dangers. (2016, May 14). Retrieved from The Telegraph: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/04/26/why-you-should-never-spank-a-child---major-research-project-conf/

A new article, where I comment on a response I got that argues yelling at your child is okay, even useful. In it, I explain why this is not the case, and analyze the response itself and how it reflects on the psyche of somebody who thinks this way. Response I received: "Not that I do not agree with any of this, but as a parent (and someone abused badly as a child--in most all ways), I can say some of it is ridiculous. I am sorry. Parents sometimes yell at their children. They get punished and disciplined as the situation dictates, and ALWAYS mine know why. The world is not going to be always empathetic to ones problems. There is not going to be people around to SOOTH them all their lives...sorry, but that is true. No, if my kid has a slight scrape I won't over indulge them (they are 10, 12, and 15) as they must learn to do it for themselves too. I am not abusive, but, as most parents will admit, I am not perfect. But, the world is not an empathetic place...by and large...they should not have to learn that the hard way. I do not beat, neglect, nor have scared my kids the way I have been. Seeing as I was abused, I do make en effort to do the best I can to not repeat. I agree everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, but, people piss people off...and one should be able to correct a wrong and be heard...if yelling is needed to be heard...so be it! " Read my analysis here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-i-yell-at-my-children-and-they-will.html

Was scouring meetups and facebook groups in my area to see who might be receptive or willing to work on a mission to spread peaceful parenting. Stumbled upon a group calling themselves Ethical Humanists, who claim to use philosophy to guide their actions. Went to a meetup group, and was received well when discussing my mission of spreading the ideas of peaceful parenting. Granted, they seemed to want to talk about politics and the evils of Trump; how we can help the homeless; how we can end racism; and what it means to be an ethical atheist. I was thinking "Ok, this is a group I can work with. At least the say they want to act ethically, whereas most people seem unfamiliar with the term, and they are all non-theists." I spent some time having a civil "state is immoral/taxation is theft" debate with one of them, but also made sure to be clear that we had much more important things to discuss, since we agreed that the better treatment of children should be a primary goal. From the wiki on the American Ethical Union: These societies all adopted the same statement of principles: The belief that morality is independent of theology; The affirmation that new moral problems have arisen in modern industrial society which have not been adequately dealt with by the world's religions; The duty to engage in philanthropy in the advancement of morality; The belief that self-reform should go in lock step with social reform; The establishment of republican rather than monarchical governance of Ethical societies The agreement that educating the young is the most important aim. "While Ethical Culturists generally share common beliefs about what constitutes ethical behavior and the good, individuals are encouraged to develop their own personal understanding of these ideas. This does not mean that Ethical Culturists condone moral relativism, which would relegate ethics to mere preferences or social conventions. Ethical principles are viewed as being related to deep truths about the way the world works, and hence not arbitrary. However, it is recognized that complexities render the understanding of ethical nuances subject to continued dialogue, exploration, and learning." Seems like this group could definitely be allies, from what I've gathered. I plan on doing more research, and going to bigger meetups to see if I can get more traction on the definition and application of ethics with them. Does anyone else have any information or experience with this group? Any advice for me or do you think I'm wasting my time?

I think generally the FDR community regard parental separation/divorce as correlated with highly negative outcomes for children. Isn't this an over-simplification of the facts? I bumped into a study recently that said that when economic and parental attachment are taken into consideration, then outcomes for children remain essentially the same. I think the study looked at success in terms of both intellectual development and healthy relational outcomes. That is to say that the ill effects of separation are due to decline in collective family income and break away of emotional bond with the father. However, if after the breakdown the financial situation for the children is good and there is still connection with the biological father (or a quality father figure) then things turn out much the same. What do you say to these study findings?

My newest article on how NOT to raise a boy to respect women, himself, of anybody: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/01/how-not-to-raise-boy-to-respect-women.html

I know that Stef has talked negatively about the effects of daycare in many of the shows. I'm trying to find the data that supports that position. Is that aggregated under one of the "Truth About" presentations or is it just spread around? I'd really appreciate some pointers to the research on how daycare affects children, whether it be positive, negative, or neutral. The reason why this is important to me is because my girlfriend and I have been discussing how we would want to take care of the kids if we were to choose to get married and start a family. I expressed my misgivings about the idea of giving our children to low wage workers for most of the day. I didn't have any solid data on hand to point her to when we were having this conversation though. She seems to think that it's alright because she was put in daycare when she was very little, and she turned alright. And later, after her younger sister developed health problems, her mom quit her job and ran a daycare service out of their house so that she could stay close. Naturally, she doesn't see an issue with it as long as you choose a good service. Unless I have solid data to back me up, I don't think it will be productive to push back much on this so if anyone has some good sources to share on the subject I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

I am not a parent yet, and I'm not sure that this technically falls under "Peaceful Parenting" but it certainly has to do with parenting and I've been giving this a lot of thought lately for some reason. What is the best way to teach a kid about sex or to explain where babies come from? I think there are some general principles and objectives that we can agree to from the start: You shouldn't lie about it no matter what their age (e.g. no talk of storks) However, you shouldn't get into details that aren't age appropriate either (e.g. showing college level anatomy books to 5-year-olds) You should aim to impress upon the kid that this is serious business and not to be taken lightly. Sex can ruin lives and emotionally destroy yourself or others when abused. At the same time they shouldn't be left with that puritanical guilt thing (like I was to some extent). By the time the kid is in their late teens they should understand the basics of sexual market value theory. Both male and female teens should be taught about what quality men and quality women ACTUALLY want in a partner. They should be made aware of the different types of sexual predation that can be practiced by both men an women. Most importantly, your child should feel comfortable coming to you with any questions or issues that come up. Does anybody have any disagreements, amendments, or critiques of this so far? I'm still working on these ideas so I'd appreciate your feedback.