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In Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, he expresses support for the use of corporal punishment and argues that it can be an effective form of discipline. What does the research say? Introduction: 0:00 Quotations: 0:18 Research: 3:45 Contradiction: 5:59 Ending Corporal Punishment: 6:59 Conclusion: 7:56 References: 8:52 References Durrant, J. E., Ensom, R., & Coalition on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth. (2004). Joint statement on physical punishment of children and youth. Ottawa: Coalition on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth. Durrant, J., & Ensom, R. (2012). Physical punishment of children: lessons from 20 years of research. CMAJ, 184(12), 1373-1377. doi:10.1503/cmaj.101314 Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and child development: We know enough now to stop hitting our children. Child Development Perspectives, 7(3), 133-137. Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and child outcomes: old controversies and new meta-analyses. Journal of Family Psychology, 1-17. doi:10.1037/fam0000191 Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. (2017). Ending legalised violence against children: global progress to December 2017. Author. Retrieved from www.endcorporalpunishment.org/resources/global-reports/global-report-2017.html Mulvaney, M. K., & Mebert, C. J. (2007). Parental corporal punishment predicts behavior problems in early childhood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 389-397. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.21.3.389 Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 rules for life: an antidote to chaos. Toronto: Random House Canada. Straus, A, M., Sugarman, D. B., & Giles-Sims, J. (1997). Spanking by parents and subsequent antisocial behavior of children. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med, 151, 761-767. Vittrup, B., & Holden, G. W. (2010). Children's assessments of corporal punishment and other disciplin ary practices: the role of age, race, SES, and exposure to spanking. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31, 211-220. doi:10.1016/j.appdev.2009.11.003 Further Reading Afifi, T. O., Ford, D., Gershoff, E. T., Merrick, M., Grogan-Kaylor, A., Ports, K. A., . . . Bennett, R. P. (2017). Spanking and adult mental health impairment: The case for the designation of spanking as an adverse childhood experience. Child Abuse & Neglect, 71, 24-31. Gershoff, E. T., & Bitensky, S. H. (2007). The case against corporal punishment of children. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 13(4), 231-272. doi:10.1037/1076-8971.13.4.231

Just went to the FDR youtube video "The facts about spanking" because I wanted to share it with some people... but the old link to FDR page on spanking no longer works. Is there a new source page for this presentation, or location where the spanking info is now located? broken link: http://www.fdrurl.com/spanking

I'm a (still) married 42 year old man, with a 10 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. Since I listen Stefan (a few months ago), I feel I've grown as a better person, with better logic, reason and morality. In a society that makes you think that spank or hit a kid, sometimes is good for him/her (although here in Spain spanking is forbidden), Stefan has changed my mind for good. Society makes you think that you can teach a kid like a dog, with a reward/punishment routine. Thanks Stefan, I know why spanking is morally terrible. I spanked my daughter only one time, when she was 3, because she put herself in a dangerous place. The moment I hit her (not to hit her, but to punish her at the time I release my own frustration), I realized deep inside I was doing a terrible thing. Why I was feeling so guilty if society "has given me permission" to do it? Because deep inside I know it was wrong. The same can be said when I grabbed my children their hands strongly enough to hurt them, (because they didn't walk quickly enough for example) It's not spanking, but it's the same. All that will never happen again. Only for that improvement, I will be forever thankful to Stefan. He has made my children's lives better.

Hello Everyone, I made a short presentation (7 min) on corporal punishment. It's unlisted on YouTube, at the moment. The idea was to create a sort of 'pilot' for a YouTube channel called 'PsychologyTube', that I'm thinking about starting in the future. The idea for the channel was somewhat inspired by an existing channel called 'Philosophy Tube'. The presentation style and concept were more appealing to me than the actual content - the presenter is pretty Left-leaning. Anyway, I'd really appreciate some feedback. I think the quality is OK, considering it was created with a smart phone. If, in the future, I can prove to myself and the viewers that I'm capable of making good content, consistently, I will invest in superior audio-visual equipment. Again, this was just a test so any constructive feedback is welcome. Thanks

Hello Everyone My friend and I created a Chinese translation of FDR's 'The Facts About Spanking' video. My friend did the translation and I edited everything together. If you know anyone who speaks Chinese or who knows people who speak Chinese, feel free to share the video with them. Also, many of the sources cited in FDR's original video are secondary sources so I've added several other primary sources related to corporal punishment which you may find useful. I have listed the new sources below, along with the video. By the way, I originally tried to send this video to Michael but he stopped responding to me after a few emails. I'm not sure why. I tried to send the video to both Michael and Stefan again but I heard nothing from either of them. Thus, I'm just going to post it here and if they want to use it, that's fine, of course. New sources: Ferguson, C. (2013). Spanking, corporal punishment and negative long-term outcomes: A meta analytic review of longitudinal studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 33, 196-208. Gershoff, E. T. (2002). Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors and Experiences: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 539-579. Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children. Child Development Perspectives, 7(3), 133-137. Gershoff, E. T., & Bitensky, S. H. (2007). The Case Against Corporal Punishment. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 13(4), 231-272. Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses. Journal of Family Psychology, 1-17. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/fam0000191 Holden, G. W., Coleman, S. M., & Schmidt, K. L. (1995). Why 3-year-old children get spanked: Parent and child determinants as reported by college-educated mothers. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 41(4), 431-452. Mulvaney, M. K., & Mebert, C. J. (2007). Parental Corporal Punishment Predicts Behavior Problems in Early Childhood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 389-397. States which have prohibited all corporal punishment. (2015, November 14). Retrieved from Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children: http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org Straus, M. A., & Stewart, J. H. (1999). Corporal Punishment by American Parents: National Data on Prevalence, Chronicity, Severity, and Duration, in Relation to Child and Family Characteristics. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2(2), 55-70. UNICEF. (2014). Hidden in plain sight: A statistical analysis of violence against children. New York, NY: UNICEF. Vittrup, B., & Holden, G. W. (2010). Children's assessments of corporal punishment and other disciplinary practices: The role of age, race, SES, and exposure to spanking. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31, 211-220. Vittrup, B., Holden, G. H., & Buck, J. (2006). Attitudes Predict the Use of Physical Punishment: A Prospective Study of the Emergence of Disciplinary Practices. Pediatrics, 117, 2055-2064. Why you should never spank a child - major research project confirms dangers. (2016, May 14). Retrieved from The Telegraph: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/04/26/why-you-should-never-spank-a-child---major-research-project-conf/

Hello Everyone, As the title says, I gave a presentation to a group of Chinese teachers/parents/educational administrators about education, corporal punishment, and ADHD. The discussion focused primarily on the USA. I covered several topics that I think will be of interest to the FDR community. I even used a few of FDR's graphs. Any feedback/constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks YouTube Description: A lecture given to a Chinese audience on education, corporal punishment, and ADHD. Note: projector image becomes clearer after a few minutes. Sources: Arum, R., & Roksa, J. (2011). Academically adrift: Limited learning on college campuses. University of Chicago Press. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-5®). American Psychiatric Pub. Frances, A. (2013). Saving normal: An insider's revolt against out-of-control psychiatric diagnosis, DSM-5, big pharma and the medicalization of ordinary life. Psychotherapy in Australia, 19(3), 14. Gatto, J. T. (2000). The underground history of American education. New York, NY: Oxford Village Press. Gatto, J. T. (2009). Weapons of mass instruction. Canada: New Society Publishers. Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses. Journal of family psychology: JFP: journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43). Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children. Child Development Perspectives, 7(3), 133-137. Kohn, A. (2007). The homework myth: Why our kids get too much of a bad thing. Da Capo Press. The War on Kids: http://thewaronkids.com/ Ending Corporal Punishment: http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org/ Summerhill: http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/ Imagine a School…Summerhill: UK state schools ban corporal punishment: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/las... 19 states allow corporal punishment: http://www.businessinsider.com/19-sta... Homeschooling: http://www.nheri.org/research/researc... College bubble: The College Con: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/09/edu... Drop-outs: Why you should never spank a child: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/20... George H. Smith: The Success of America's Public School System: Morrow, R. L., Garland, E. J., Wright, J. M., Maclure, M., Taylor, S., & Dormuth, C. R. (2012). Influence of relative age on diagnosis and treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children. Canadian Medical Association Journal, 184(7), 755-762. Szasz, Thomas. Myth of mental illness. Vol. 15. New York, 1961. Whitaker, R. (2010). Anatomy of an epidemic. New York.

Molyneux spoke with Charles Murray who discussed the genetic component of child development, and others such as Steven Pinker have talked about it at length. There seems to be a need of extreme revision to the original hysteria against spanking. Studies are increasingly showing how parenting style has very little effect on children's development and traits. And most studies thrown around here (or by Molyneux) put emphasis on causality while ignoring potential reverse causality (e.g. people spank because they and their kids have lower IQs, they don't have lowers IQs because of the spanking). Molyneux still tries to cling to his conclusions by associating spanking with other substantial traumas (e.g. starvation, routinely locking a child in a closet of days, etc.) which have shown to be a significant environmental influence. But do studies confirm this similarity? And for what it's worth, I've never been spanked nor am I an aggressive person who will likely ever spank children myself. I think spanking is strange and ineffective, but I'm skeptical of the trauma and negative social effects associated with it.

My friend on facebook posted a meme going around that said "I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating." I engaged him in discussion on the spanking topic, pointing out the scientific research that it is damaging and doesn't work anyway, and his counter argument basically boiled down to: I know what the science says, but spanking is different from abuse, and I was spanked and I turned out fine and I have a good relationship with my parents. I have friends who don't spank but their kids are spoiled. I won't tell you how to raise your kids, but have never seen not spanking work in raising children. Let's agree to disagree. The mental walls against peaceful parenting are so high and so strong, and there are so very few role models for it. I hope to be one. This friend has no children yet, so I hope when it happens he realizes like I did that there was no actual way I could bring myself to hit my child. I hope a seed of "there are other ways" sticks in his mind somewhere. Does anyone have non-combative strategies they use to advocate for not spanking which might bypass the defensive walls of "I was spanked and turned out fine"?

Hi Guys & Gals! Just like to share this recently uploaded video by DNEWS: 'How Spanking Affects Kids' (Nov 26th, 2013) www.YouTube.com/watch?v=WcO48w5Xcvo The reason why I'd like to share this is because I'd like to think that I, in part, influenced it. That's why I'm so excited to share it for my first post. (hope this is the appropriate subforum) They've been around for about over a year, and since their related to the Discovery Channel, they've grown pretty popular -and probably because they're considered "hip" too... I've been subscribed to their channel for almost a year, and I've seen them pull some BS political stunts, some related to violence, some related to specific "tools" that some violent criminals may use -and I've been hounding them about their BS since. I doubt they'll stop their propagandistic ways, but I'm glad to see that they've posted something that might influence a larger, younger, population. Enjoy! Best Regards, 10k, Vince

A friend of mine recently shared this infographic on my FB page: http://www.upworthy.com/the-science-of-spanking-what-happen… He commented, "Do you remember when we discussed this? After reading this I went and read the abstract and conclusion from the study referenced. I've changed my position on the topic." I was ecstatic to hear this from him. Not just because I felt vindicated, of course. My friend is an American History/Political Science double major, and is a big fan of Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and our current President, to give you an idea of his party politics. The discussion to which he refers was concerning the merits of spanking. After having the "against me" discussion with this friend, I distanced myself from him for some time, in order to reflect upon his response. I chose to reconnect with him after a while, and I'm glad I did. I feel invigorated knowing that I may have been some small part of this change in him. I can only imagine the high that the producers of Freedomain Radio feel, knowing they have influenced thousands of similar responses. Just a bit of good news! I was feeling distraught and pessimistic, and this really brightened my outlook. This may serve a reminder that you never know who you may influence by your words and actions, no matter how far gone they may seem! Reason and evidence FTW!!! One other small consideration... I responded with, "I remember it well! Thanks for sharing!" I was simply lost for words, and didn't want to come off overbearing or vindictive. I didn't communicate the depth of my emotional response, however. Should I? How would you respond to this?

My sister had my niece. Meggan, back in 1989, when she was only 19 years old. I was 15 at the time. I remember that at that age, I had very little empathy and very low emotional intelligence. When I heard stories of people being hurt, whether they be kids or adults, I tended to shrug it off and go about my day. I don't know if I was similar to most teenagers or if I had an issue that stemmed from my childhood upbringing, but that's not the topic for another day. I'll just say, that I'm a completely different person now. I feel deep, emotional stress when I hear about children being hurt. I wish I had been this way when Meggan was born, because I could have helped her to avoid the life she has made for herself up until now. Both of her parents, my sister and her husband, were authoritarians. My sister spanked her, but her husband used to make Meggan strip down naked before her beat her with a belt. At the time, I had no idea he did that, but I reasoned that spanking was necessary. I never hit Meggan, but I did used to manipulate her, shame her and terrorize her in sadistic ways. I would make promises to her in order to get her to do my bidding, but then would back out of my promises. I'd yell at her to make her cry and when she did, I'll run to hug her. It makes me sick to think of the things I did to her. Meggan now suffers from a whole range of issues. She's addicted to pain-killers, is on anti-depressants, has never held a job for more than a year or so, and has been trouble with the law many times. She is half-black, so my sister and her grandparents often accuse the police of being racist and unfairly targeting Meggan. But, she has been involved with selling prescription drugs for some time now and she was recently sent to prison. Many times before she left, I had apologized to her for how I had treated her. She's accepted my apology and I don't think she's even aware of how much my actions have had in a hand in her current predicament. She's going to be in prison for 3 years, and I've been sending her letters regularly, but I would like to do more, particularly when she gets out. I don't have enough money to pay for her therapy. She was on Medicaid and had been seeing a therapist, but that particular therapist's idea of therapy was pretty much just giving Meggan anti-depressants. She'd see Meggan for about 15 minutes out an hour long session, give her her script and send her on her way. I don't see medication as a means to help her at all! In fact, since she's been in prison and hasn't been allowed to take her meds, she says she feels much better and her mind is much clearer. Anyway, I want to do something to help her instead of just constantly apologizing. I'd like to maybe send her some books, give her some good advice without sounding preachy. I'd like to help her when she gets out. I can't afford therapy for her, but I can give her my time. Are there any things that you guys recommend? Any books you recommend I send to her? I have to use Amazon to send stuff, but the way. I tried to order one of Stefan's books for her, but realized it was only available in digital copies. Any advice would help. Thanks guys.

Greetings FDR Board Members, My name is Andrew. I have been engaged in the FDR podcasts for the past 5 months. I feel very anxious about participating in the forums, and in a deeper sense, I am afraid of feeling vulnerable. I have been gaining self-knowledge and it has led to a much more fulfilling relationship with my beautiful girlfriend and my self. I was spanked by my father when I was young. I got into a very tense argument with my parents about this atrocity a couple of months ago, and have started seeing a therapist since. I currently am avoiding seeing my parents so that I can gain the self-confidence to engage in a productive argument, at least on my end. I am 22 years old and work full-time as a butcher. I went to college for two and a half years, and dropped out on impulse to pursue my joy from drumming. This was before FDR. Now, I struggle to make long term professional goals that are more rooted in reality and my desire to help people find happiness. I love philosophy and communicating with others. I hope to start my own business one day which accepts Bitcoin. I am sorry for the rambling. I really want to be a productive member of this community and to meet lots of rational people. Thank you for reading, Andrew

I think I was hit three times as a child growing up, of which I can only remember two. Of these two I can only remember the reason for one. When I was 5 or 6 I was at church with my step-father on a saturday; he was the worship leader for the church so he was there practicing and I got dragged along. What I remember is that I was in a room by myself and when my step-father left to go practice he left a can of pepsi by the door and told me explicitly not to drink it. So he left, and of course I had to take a sip. When he came back, he knew. I didn't take a big sip, but I put the can down in a different orientation. He told me this is how he knew that I had "directly disobeyed him" and I was going to be spanked when we got home. That is what I was hit for the three times it happened; lying or direct disobedience (which was basically anything as long as the warning was given). Each time I was told to go to my room, take down my pants, and wait. He would come in and I would get three open hand slaps on the ass so hard they sent pain shooting through my entire body. I can remember the feeling even now and the sound of the screams that followed. So considering I remember very little of my childhood I thought that the fact that I remembered this particular event might be important. While thinking about it recently it dawned on me - holy shit, I think he set me up! He deliberately left the can there to test me, taking a mental picture of its position on the table. Why else leave it there to tempt me when he knew I wanted some? And I just remembered right now that he said he would've given it to me if I had not taken a sip. Yeah total set up, pretty shitty game to play with a kid where there's a tiny prize for conformance and a massive punishment for nonconformance. Along with making me an unhappy little slave living in fear for the rest of my childhood, I'm trying to think of any other effects it could have had on me. It has certainly been harder de-fooing from my step-father than my mother, which I can only attribute to the fear embedded in me as a child. Felt good to share, I don't do that enough. All thoughts are welcome. P.S. Here's me when I was 5

Damn.. i just read this... so sickening and fucked up. There are literally hundrets of comments just like these: https://www.facebook.com/RealDLHughley and specificly the post with the comments: https://www.facebook.com/RealDLHughley/posts/798695863506086

A witty and interesting approach to spanking. What would it look like if we were to apply these "moral" principles universally? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmKHpyo8j1Y

http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/05/21/quebec-man-who-slapped-his-13-year-old-daughter-so-hard-she-died-sentenced-to-60-days-in-jail/ Sounds like a freak accident but just another reason why you should not hit your kids. Also interesting is that she is 13 and there is no mention of the legality of the physical abuse. I know Stef is regularly mentioning that in canada you can hit a kid from 2-12 with an open hand and not in the face. This was a 13 year old and she was slapped twice in the face but they dont mention it being illegal. Seems like an important detail people should be aware of regardless the outcome of the case

In the last Property and Freedom Society gathering, Hoppe and some other panelists said that they didn't think refraining from child spanking is that important for the future of liberty. This was specifically in response to a question about Stefan. One of the panelists, Dr. Daniels, is a psychiatrist, perhaps he can be persuaded to debate? Please see here:

Read the comments! https://www.facebook.com/WECTNews/photos/a.164938693128.116518.110795228128/10152310908238129/?type=1 https://www.facebook.com/WECTNews/photos/a.164938693128.116518.110795228128/10152310908238129/?type=1

Hi everyone. I'm a newcomer here. This is more of a rant than anything. I found Stefan and this movement through his Truth About Elliot Rodger video (it sounds like that brought a lot of people here) and he has really struck a chord with me. I had already held a lot of the same philosophical views on life that he espouses, but especially on peaceful parenting. I started out using the Baby Book attachment parenting with my now 2 year old, but I think that term applies more to the first year. "Peaceful parenting" is a more appropriate term for what my husband and I do now. Fortunately, both of us came from parents who were against spanking, so it comes pretty natural to us. I've been listening to a lot of his call-in shows and I find myself in tears and in rage over what so many people have gone through as children. So many people think, "I'm going to raise my child the way my parents raised me." Why would you not even think to question or research the optimal way to raise a child? Why do so many people just stick to what they've experienced? Even though I feel I had a great childhood (there were a few bumps), even I want to be a better parent than my parents were to me. We've all got so much information at our fingertips and so many just fumble their way through parenting. I'm constantly analyzing everything I do. Just a couple days ago, my daughter was hitting me while playing and I tried to give her a time-out. Right away, I realized she didn't understand what I was doing and my husband agreed. We decided to try a different approach. We've switched to modeling good behavior for her. "Please don't hit mommy, sweety. Be gentle. Like this." I then take her hand and show her how to gently touch my face. It has worked wonderfully in just a couple days! I don't think that my most of my friends routinely hit their kids. Just one slaps her 3 year-old daughter's hand when she doesn't want her to touch something, and she's threaten to spank her in my presence, too. I'm wondering what others here would say to their friend if they heard them threaten their child with a spanking. She and I aren't very close, so I want to be pretty tactful, but I don't think I can just keep my mouth shut next time. Anyway, I'm really enjoying the forum and hearing different peoples' ideas. Stefan's shows are great. I'm coming around on the libertarian ideals, but I still have a lot to learn.

Hi! I recently translated "The facts about spanking" video in spanish. If anyone knows someone that needs to watch it and only speaks spanish, now you can share it! This is the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITU-SAo9zKI Please like, share and subscribe. Have a great life everyone!

http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/index.html

I commented in another thread that spanking works, which makes the argument for peaceful alternatives with people who spank their children difficult. I was surprised to find that some of the community here think that spanking doesn't work at all. Perhaps the problem was in my use of the word "work", but I think it goes deeper than that. So after netting a lot of downvotes I left the conversation alone. I think it deserves some more consideration though so I'm creating this thread to discuss it further. DISCLAIMER: I'm not encouraging, endorsing, or defending spanking! My argument is this: Spanking "works" in the sense that it causes children to obey the commands of parents. It is the most basic and primitive form of expression and control. Children from a very young age understand that physical pain is bad and will change their behavior to avoid it. Parallels can be seen in the stereotypical master/slave relationship where beatings and whippings are employed to, in effect, force slaves to work. Prisoners of war can be physically tortured into obeying their torturer and divulging military secrets. Violence is used by social animals to assert dominance over peers and establish a pecking order. The effectiveness of violence is a rudimentary fact of nature that cannot be ignored and doesn't need to be spelled out. Conceding a point to anyone who uses violence against children may leave some of you feeling dirty, but there is an unfortunate truth here. Violence can be used to manipulate obedience from a child. So when someone says that spanking has worked for them and that their children are very well behaved because of it there are many things you could say, but you cannot say that spanking does not work.

I just did a full on intervention with an abuser. She's the mother of one of my youngest daughter's classmates. For a while I've been wary of letting my daughter play over at her house, because on several occasions I've seen her acting in a punitive and heartless way towards her son, who is "rebellious" and "not listening". The other day the boy ( who is a great little guy) was playing at our place. When his mother came picking him up he was mad and dissappointed because she came by car instead of on bike as she had promised earlier. He was angry, and after dismissing this fact offhandedly she told him to thank me for the play-over. He kept being angry (rightly so), and then she grabbed him, pulled him to the other side of her car where -out of sight- she had a one-on-one with him. Then she picked him up, stashed him in the car and while driving off the boy frantically yelled "Thank you for the play-over", crying. Today, entering the school, I told her that I had been shocked by the event; the pulling, the shoving, the obvious threats, the force involved. I asked her what her own thoughts were, and she rejected the idea of having hurt the boy. I kissed my girls goodbye and walked outside, and then she followed me outside. We had a talk for about five minutes, and nearing the end we were both crying. I could write the conversation down, but with the emotions shown I guess you could say I 've gotten through to her at least in the moment. Even so, I'm a bit wary right now. Like her, I'll be visiting this school for another six years. If this continues to be a terrible mother I'm in for some trouble from now on, just like the kids. And I wonder how she will act the next time we come across. I also wonder what I'll tell my daughter who wants to go and play over there next week, because I made it quite clear to the mother that her behavior is not something that I want to expose my daughter to.

At 12:32 and 33:44 of this recent discussion Stefan's approach to changing the world is challenged as the best approach. The reason I'm posting this topic is to have enough of the FDR community chime in and rate it up, in the hopes that Stefan will review the video in one of his own videos, where he can have a rebuttal against the two approaches outlined in the discussion and to defend his own approach. Direct link to 12:32: http://youtu.be/BmsH2RFlYbQ?t=12m32s Direct link to 33:44: http://youtu.be/BmsH2RFlYbQ?t=33m44s What are everyone's thoughts? And if you want Stefan to make a rebuttal video, vote this up! Cheers

Hi everyone. A short introduction so we understand the context of my situation. I have a Cousin who I have a relatively close relationship to. I don't speak to him that often, but when we do talk, we talk about relatively deep subjects regarding philosophy, our upbringing and how it affects our development and similar topics. He studying for his masters degree in Social work, so he's come across various studies on child abuse and spanking, so he has some knowledge of the subject. He will become a father this coming august, and has expressed to me that he believes , despite the evidence he has come across, that spanking his son as a disciplinary action will be appropriate. He attempts to justify it in two ways. that he will not use an object to assist in spanking, as studies have shown that increases the risk of trauma to the child. His second point is that he believes that "you cannot have respect without fear." I know there are plenty of arguments against spanking that Stefan makes, backed up with research papers and the like. I was interested in hearing thoughts on the Idea of fear and respect, since that is a less discussed topics on his shows. his recent video " how to accept criticism" mentions towards the end that fear an respects are opposites. I want to explore positions on this concept so that I can help influence my cousin's opinion on the matter and dissuade him from spanking his child. I'm aware that he is ultimately the only one who can change his mind, but I figured that its worth a shot. any help on the matter would be greatly appreciated.