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I've just taken notice of some articles that claim that it is a myth that the black community suffers from absentee fathers more so than other races. Here is a link to one of the articles. You will quickly notice just how liberal this article is, but the statistics and visual aids are there. Link here. Is there anything flawed with the CDC study? Are the statistics wrong? I've been persuaded by reason that - because of a great many factors - black fathers are abscent from the family picture. It is tragic. But the articles I've seen, such as the one linked above, beg to differ. Please let me know what your thoughts are and how you would respond! Here is the link to the CDC document.

Blew my mind how close to my own father this was, and of course, myself. I asked my girlfriend, already knowing what the answer would be, "Am I both irresistible and exhaustive at the same time?" Yes. I go days completely focused on a goal (no coffee, sticking to nutrition plan, journaling) and will usually get bored. Envy rules my parents. The way I saw it was just the way Stefan says it in TGOA, the value we have as humans is based on the desire other people have to be us. This is such a creepy idea to me now, but was completely normal to me growing up. I believe I resorted to drugs and other self-destructive behavior because I believed both that my parents were total hypocrites in some way, but also that I have good parents because they provide "things" which other kids wished they had (vacations, family dinners, toys) and other adults envied them Only being charitable to the homeless, or in my parents' case, third-world villagers. Fascinating, chilling, heart-pounding read.

Hi everyone, This is my first post. I am in something of a quandary. A month ago I reconnected with a cousin of mine, after eight years of no contact. He turns 18 this year, I am 27. I had nagging guilt about not being more in touch with him over the years. When he was younger he would come stay at my house, but when he was around 10 this stopped. I didn't ask myself why this was, and I feel shame about giving up contact so easily, now looking back. If I can keep this as short as possible, here are the facts: When I finally did reach out, he was in the midst of massive depression. We spoke on the phone for a couple of hours, two days in a row. He told me he had been depressed for a long time, miserable at home, awful relationship with his mom and dad. And he seemed totally lost. He told me he wanted to get help, which he got a few days later. He put his foot down at home and said he needed professional help. So he was voluntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital, for two weeks, where he was treated for depression. I had time to meet him and talk to him, and got a lot of information on what had gone on with him for the past eight years, and what was troubling him at home. Now, this is the thrust of what I'm trying to figure out: I am related to my cousin through his father, they haven't seen each other since my cousin was five. So he grew up with his mom and his stepfather. From what I've gathered, his mom has been grinding his feelings and emotions into dust, and lying to him about why he doesn't get to see his father. I have heard information about why they stopped seeing each other, I believe he deserves to know that information, but I don't know if I should be the one to tell him. His father, my uncle, has expressed wishes of getting back in touch - if he is willing. Does anyone have experience with these sort of delicate matters. How do I get my cousin the information that he deserves to know? Help, please.

My newest video. In it, James Hetfield from "Metallica" talks about his painful childhood, his relationship with his abusive parents, and how it influenced his music. I included my comments and observations in a form of hard-burned closed captions. Apologies for poor audio quality. These were the best clips I could find, and sound filters didn't help improve it, either. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6XD1MPzF_A

My newest video; an example of a narcissistic father and a narcissistic person in general: http://vimeo.com/selfarcheology/father

I noticed the following in the comments section below an article by Jim Goad on Takimag, on the subject of the progressive/Leftist double-think, with race and gender being regarded as social constructs but with homosexuality and transgenderism being defended as natural, biological states. http://takimag.com/article/race_is_a_social_construct_so_im_a_poor_black_orphan_jim_goad/print#disqus_thread The guy commenting is the following, and I was wondering what people here think and what they would say to him:

Article from Art of Manliness (below are a preview of the steps given, follow the link for full article.) See yourself as a transitional character. Imagine your posterity. Marry someone from an intact family. Be intentional! Distance yourself from toxic relationships. Surround yourself with positive examples. Seek professional help when necessary. Hold fast to your goal by regularly reading things geared towards helping you become a better husband and father.

Hey Guys! I was the first caller on the March 16th Sunday show. Twas a great conversation, but there wasn't time to go into my question (title of this post). I'd like to chat with Stef about it soon, so I'll check with Mike about that. I'll put this in context of my life, so we have some thing to work with. I'm a bisexual man (meaning, I can, and have, form romantic & sexual bonds with either gender - gender neutral you could say), and have often wondered how the absence of a father effected me in this regard. I don't have any close male friends - romantic or friendship - that I would consider fulfilling. In general, I find the male physique more impressive than the female, though they both have their attractions, depending on the person. What I care about, of course, is the mind, moral solidarity. I'd often get jests about how I could play both sides by having more choice ... not really true, because gender doesn't matter to me. I'm very lucky to be with a woman with whom I share a strong moral and philosophical solidarity. But, I still desire a fulfilling male presence. Perhaps I always will. Perhaps that little boy, that still waits by the window for an absent father) will always feel that yearning. I dunno. Mike asked an interesting question: What would happen to my attraction to men, if I were to have a fulfilling male relationship in my life? I'm open for a group skype chat about this as well, if anybody is interested. This question has always fascinated me. So, what do you guys think? What effect, if any, could a fatherless childhood have on sexuality?

I thought I'd share some thoughts I have had these last days. Perhaps there are others out there that feel, may feel, or have felt the way I am feeling now. Just want to let you know, if that person is you: There is hope. And I think you know it, deep down. Last thursday, I went out to jog in the spring sun for a while. After about 15 minutes into my run, I sort of had a series of revelations hitting me. I realized that most of the things I am doing in my life at the moment, are not things I want to be doing. Instead of doing things I want to do, or not do anything at all. I felt like I wanted a total do-over with my life (the parts I had power over, not my childhood). Like, fake my death, have a fresh start. Not know the people in my life, so I could get away from all the responsabilities I have, without having angry glances shot at me, without people talking behind my back as the guy who dropped it all and made it uncomfortable for others. Now that I just wrote that, I got this thought that maybe I am mistaking my now adult relationships with my childhood ones. That perhaps, I won't be attacked for quitting the things I don't want to do. Even if I get attacked, so what?, is another thought. Most of the people I know that theoretically would attack me are not people I like that much anyway. I find our interactions dull, lifeless, shallow. What I have gotten from the relationships I have today at college is 98% of what I thought I wanted when I was a child, when I was a prisoner in school: Recognition for ability, respect because of my position, social status. Things that I now think I realize aren't virtous, aren't important. That what I am doing is what most other people do around me: Hide from the past, or adhere to it, revere it. I only got one shot. One life. One pinball. And I have to make what's best of it, not wasting time with dead people, doing things I don't want to do. Yesterday, I felt really terrible during the evening. I thought ''What is a life without conflicts? What does that feel like? I don't think I can imagine what that is like. I feel scared. I don't know what to do with my life. The world is a dark place. Everything feels empty, like a black void. Is there a meaning to anything?'' And then I thought: Maybe this is my soul, tugging at it's chains. Struggling to break free, fighting tooth and nail against the mindlessness, the black hole the people around me worship? Maybe I am seeing more clearly now, that I am again, seeing the world for the dark place it can be. Or perhaps it's me self-attacking in some way, because I am going to give up the things I don't like doing, and that my inner-critic sees this as laziness? I am not sure. Maybe that's what I have been doing, mimicing my father by taking on several projects at once, saying that we love being busy, while I know that both him and I are trembling beneath the stress, hating it because the people around us do so little in comparison, which I have seen make my father turn bitter. And lately, I have felt bitterness for that same reason too. And all of this gets us what? Recieve the shallow gratitude of others, for being ''the guy that works really hard!'' or ''that man that get's things done!''. ''You work so hard! That's really impressive of you!'' And if that's the case, is my father also trying to hide from attacks from his inner-critic, for not doing things? For the fear of being called lazy? I still feel this emptiness inside. That all the things that I used to enjoy, or thought I enjoyed, were nothing but escapes from my past pain. That the only thing they did was to please my inner-critic, to do what I was supposed to do: Become my father. Be that hardworking, no resting kind of guy! Take on the burdens of others, because dammit, someone has got to sacrifice themselves on that altar, and that someone must be me! It is my purpose! It's what I deserve! I may not rest! And really savor the bitterness that follows, because other people arn't up to pair, and life isn't supposed to be fun! It's about sacrifice. At least, that's my hypothesis, as to why I feel the way I feel. But, underneath this emptiness, I can feel a sliver of hope. That lantern of self-knowledge I lit more than a year ago isn't dead. I take all these feelings and thoughts as evidence that I am on the path to something big regarding myself. That my feelings are trying to tell me something, that they are trying to steer me somewhere. So, all I can do now, is really try and listen to myself, and dig even deeper than before. To strike that vein of self-knowledge gold.To break out of the patterns of childhood. I can actually see bars infront of my inner eye of sorts. It's hard to explain. But, I am standing behind bars, finally, really, with my whole being, realizing that I am behind bars. Rays of sunlight find their way through the gaps in my prison cell, dazzling me. And I know I want out. I just don't know how. At least I know I am in a prison now.

In this video I analyze a commonly dysfunctional family. As an example I use two scenes from the movie "Shuffle." http://dai.ly/x1gqwzt

Didn't know where to post this, but If you have never met your dad and he doesn't know you exist. And you know who he is, how would you reach out to him? I'm just about to turn 21 and have been struggling with this for a while. I had been waiting to make myself financially stable before contacting him so I wouldn't feel like I was bringing a burden into someone's life. I now am, and was seeking guidance on how to go about this.

Thoughts, anyone?