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I wrote into the call in show a while ago but I am sure Michael is busy. I need answers, life & business isn't going to wait for me to try to figure this out for years. Quick backstory - I am a immigrant to America from the former USSR, I have 3 brothers & 3 sisters. I am the youngest. All my family is super successful, surgeons, musicians, public speakers. (ACE Score questions is attached) Age - 22 ACE Score - 7 / Yes Answers: 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10 S&D - Yes, Mostly whipped by a thin branch/stick by mom (but extremes is needle through tongue for cussing) - Live far from family now Question 1 - My mother was extremely totalitarian when i was a child. She was a helicopter mother, but with thermal cameras & motion sensors, very tyrannical. I am low on conscientiousness & I cannot for the life of me defer gratification, I have a very high addictive personality & super high in neuroticism. I was addicted to many things in my past & still am. (porn, drugs, booze, opioids, adderall) My question is, First - Is these two thing connected? & how do I start reversing that in a way that does not backfire on me & in a way that is not totalitarian so that I don't rebel from my own system that I put into place. Question 2 - I am the founder & CEO of a company. I recently met someone very successful & now we are great friends. This friend personally knows Martha Stewart, the owner of Bass Pro Shops, & many other people that are affluent & full of potential opportunities. My problem is I became inert, & dont finish my work. If I work hard enough I can become a millionaire, famous, or successful. Why am I all of the sudden inert? Am I scared of success or fame? If so, how can I overcome this, because I know people would kill to be where I am. BTW I'm getting booked all over USA to do what I do but I still work at the USPS 60hrs a week instead of fully going self employed. I am scared to quit because I know I need a running start but I am not running, I am sleeping. Question 3 - I've hurt animals as a child, I have killed animals while being indifferent as a child. I became an adult & someone gave me a kitten, Now Ive never hurt this cat physically but I did mentally. I would be petting the cat & with my other hand punch the wall. As soon these urges started happening everyday I called someone & they took the kitten out of my house. Now, I know why that is I do that (my mother had power over me & would hurt me, now I feel good when I have the power over something) What I do not know is, how can I stop these urges. Call In Show Survey.pdf

AAAAAND the topic didnt load prorperly! Using reply to psot my orignal post. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hey everyone, i am here seeking therapy. I’ve been brought humbly down after making some seriously bad assumptions about my own mental clarity and also about how much i do need outside help from specifically therapist. Needless to say i was wrong and have paid the consequences as i struggle to gain employment and do what i finally love after procrastinating for so long. It’s very painful due to having not done such earlier, though i am 100% committed to accepting this pain. And fear too incidentally as I’ve found. This is me owning my inaction and inaction to acknowledge the painful truth of avoiding the humiliation and pain associated with getting job, earning your own money and success. [Currently working on and making 3d models public, studying CAD software, studying building (and construction) physics, researching copyright, contacting companies left right and center and networking]. What are your experiences with therapy and what are the best people/places to seek for? I don’t have lot of money atm, so can’t afford the highest askers, but i will not cheapshot this i can pay something and whatever i have that i can pay, i will. Thoughts? #IfyoudontlearnbyReason...

My newest article about figuring out if your therapy is actually working for you or not. "Today’s question is extremely popular: I’m in therapy, and some people [my spouse, or parent, or friend, or coworker, or partner] say that it’s not working for me. I’m confused. Is it true?" Read it here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-is-therapy-working-for-me.html

A very important message regarding a painfully common misconception about having psychoemotional struggles, feeling unsure, being "weak," and looking for help.

I feel lost in my life, over the last 8 years I have mostly lost connection with my older kids who live with their crazy mother, lost my house and garden, ended a professional career. I've had some therapy, but probably not enough. I suffer from anxiety, some post traumatic symptoms from a violent and unloving childhood. I'm nearly 50 and don't have financial security or see what my future is. I'm intelligent and have worked in IT for nearly 25 years, but am fed up with the 9 to 5 - that's not a life well lived. I don't know what to do. I like trading but am struggling to get restarted on that path. My girlfriend of 7 years just broke up with me because of my moods and lack of direction in life. I feel lost. I'm getting some life coaching. I need to find something that supports me financially and that makes me feel really valuable. I live in Thailand where the cost of living is low, so low income is manageable. Of course, I would like to be a "success" in all areas of my life, but that seems like an impossibility. If I could find a business partner, entrepreneur, something that I could support and that supports me, that would be great. I've tried various other things over the years and trained in massage, reading stock charts and even (ironically) tried relationship coaching with no success. I need help.

Hello, we are a young couple (23 years old), currently living in Greece and we would like to move to Singapore/Australia/New Zealand. We have no friends or relatives in any of those places. We chose those countries due to their economic freedom, opportunities and high quality of life. Regarding ourselves, my name is Dimitris Papadiotis and the last 2 years I started studying philosophy here, in freedomain radio which changed my life!! In february (2016) I will graduate from my bachelor's degree in mathematics, specialized in statistics, from the University of Ioannina and I am going to be approximately at the top 10%. IQ score of 128. I am willing to work hard, learn new things and develop new skills. I have almost no working experience. and I am Maria Mourkou, I graduated from the department of Balkan, Slavic and Oriental Studies from the University of Macedonia in November 2014 (top 12,79%) . I can communicate (write and speak) in greek, english, french (level C2) and also russian and bulgarian (level B1). IQ score of 123. You can check my working experience below: April 2015 - October 2015: Vernicol SA , Department: foreign affairs, public tenders October 2014 - January 2015: CTG Advertising, Independent partner, Door to Door Sales February 2014 - April 2014: Internship in 18-24 Travel Agency, Department: Social Marketing 2011 - 2014: Thessaloniki International Fair, Department: Promotion, Auxiliary Staff (10 days each year) We are searching for employment and social network. It would be very much appreciated if you can help us in any way, shape or form!

Some of you may have read my previous topic where I have described my current career situation. https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/45179-im-a-police-officerhelp/?hl=%2Bpolice+%2Bofficer I have been thinking for a long time about this and I am now proud to announce that I have decided to liberate my consciousness from the moral implications of being a Police Officer. Yes - I am quitting. Undoubtedly, this will have a huge impact on my life. I have a degree in Criminology which I have chosen for the very purpose of being able to advance through the ranks quicker, which of course now becomes useless. Also, having to pay off around £30000 for that degree and not having a very clear idea where to go from here isn't very motivating to say the least . I need a new job, that's for sure. Any advice on possible career paths is highly appreciated! The bottom line is - whatever happens, I will not regret my decision .

Hey, I was wondering whether someone could recommend something along the lines of "online course in philosophy". I want to learn more about philosophy starting from the basics. Cheers!

Hey all! So I've been having discussions about issues such as government and taxation. I often hear a claim that governments cannot steal and taxation is not a theft. However, when I apply the exactly same reasoning to a different scenario, for example a person or a different organisation doing exactly the same as the government (enforcing taxation through the initiation of use of force) suddenly the reasoning reverses and such a thing becomes theft in the eyes of the person I am debating. I attempt to reason through rules of non contradiction (something cannot be and not be at the same time) but I usually get the following responses: "government is different" - Therefore theft only applies to individuals or private organisations. "the extraction of money is voluntary" - You don't have to work if you don't want to. You actually want the government to spend the money on roads, education etc. "money are extracted at source and if you do not receive the money in the first place, then they cannot be taken away from you, therefore not theft" - (This is the case in the UK where you don't do your own taxes but rather the employer pays them from your salary before you get a chance to sniff them). So if you don't get the money in the first place it isn't theft. "There is no right and wrong" or "There is no truth, it depends" - Therefore taxation is morally good and not theft, whereas extraction of property without consent by something or someone else than a government is theft. Is there a way of combating such claims or have I entered a realm of sophistry from which there is no return? What is the best way to argue from here and point out the contradiction?

I, like I presume many people here, enjoy engaging in discourse in various communities around the net. I like to challenge myself in the pursuit of reason, knowledge, and evidence by trying to pit my wits against discourse. But often times I feel like maybe I'm missing something when it comes to being as precise as I desire. I know I'm not terrible by any means, but I often feel a little lacking in feedback. Like there's no experienced individual I could turn to for judging my discussions. It'd also be nice to have a second opinion for telling me when enough is enough. I don't want an echo chamber, just to meet people who can tell me when I've done an apt duty at defending reason, rationality, and evidence. I suppose I moreso worry that I'm picking fights which are too into the realm of being unreasonable and I'm not doing anything but wasting my time and making a foolish display for those who would like to do similar. Does anyone else feel similar?

Hey guys, I hope you could help me and my future Mrs. Suh with my campaign to raise money to get a wedding and reception. Any donation amount is appreciated and if you can't donate, please share. Thank you in advance for any help. Link is below. http://www.gofundme.com/hk2awg68

My sister had my niece. Meggan, back in 1989, when she was only 19 years old. I was 15 at the time. I remember that at that age, I had very little empathy and very low emotional intelligence. When I heard stories of people being hurt, whether they be kids or adults, I tended to shrug it off and go about my day. I don't know if I was similar to most teenagers or if I had an issue that stemmed from my childhood upbringing, but that's not the topic for another day. I'll just say, that I'm a completely different person now. I feel deep, emotional stress when I hear about children being hurt. I wish I had been this way when Meggan was born, because I could have helped her to avoid the life she has made for herself up until now. Both of her parents, my sister and her husband, were authoritarians. My sister spanked her, but her husband used to make Meggan strip down naked before her beat her with a belt. At the time, I had no idea he did that, but I reasoned that spanking was necessary. I never hit Meggan, but I did used to manipulate her, shame her and terrorize her in sadistic ways. I would make promises to her in order to get her to do my bidding, but then would back out of my promises. I'd yell at her to make her cry and when she did, I'll run to hug her. It makes me sick to think of the things I did to her. Meggan now suffers from a whole range of issues. She's addicted to pain-killers, is on anti-depressants, has never held a job for more than a year or so, and has been trouble with the law many times. She is half-black, so my sister and her grandparents often accuse the police of being racist and unfairly targeting Meggan. But, she has been involved with selling prescription drugs for some time now and she was recently sent to prison. Many times before she left, I had apologized to her for how I had treated her. She's accepted my apology and I don't think she's even aware of how much my actions have had in a hand in her current predicament. She's going to be in prison for 3 years, and I've been sending her letters regularly, but I would like to do more, particularly when she gets out. I don't have enough money to pay for her therapy. She was on Medicaid and had been seeing a therapist, but that particular therapist's idea of therapy was pretty much just giving Meggan anti-depressants. She'd see Meggan for about 15 minutes out an hour long session, give her her script and send her on her way. I don't see medication as a means to help her at all! In fact, since she's been in prison and hasn't been allowed to take her meds, she says she feels much better and her mind is much clearer. Anyway, I want to do something to help her instead of just constantly apologizing. I'd like to maybe send her some books, give her some good advice without sounding preachy. I'd like to help her when she gets out. I can't afford therapy for her, but I can give her my time. Are there any things that you guys recommend? Any books you recommend I send to her? I have to use Amazon to send stuff, but the way. I tried to order one of Stefan's books for her, but realized it was only available in digital copies. Any advice would help. Thanks guys.

Hello everyone, I am curious on anyone's thoughts on pursuing becoming an engineer, and more specifically an electrical engineer. Does anyone have any knowledge / experience, etc. on the different kinds of engineering, different skill sets for each, and so on. Also, on my last year of high school and is it worth it to pay to go to university / college? Another thought was to become an electrician. I am very interested in engineering though (though I have yet to take the courses in physics, gr 12 math -- I am in a semester school). All thoughts, criticisms, etc. are beyond appreciated ! Thanks

Hello to my fellow board members. I'd first like to say I've been a long-time FDR fan and donater. I discovered Stefan's show through similar movements like those of Ayn Rand or Adam Kokesh, and have listened to - at least - one thousand of his podcasts by this point in time. This show has changed my life, and the relationships in it, for the best. So to Stefan, as well as all of you for your role in the show: thank you. I've learned recently, through the use of unrelenting curiosity and maturity in my conversations and reflections, that my parents are nihilists. I won't get into the details of the situation I experienced right now, nor the complexity of my childhood (which caused in me a severe anxiety disorder and teenage drug use). However, I would like to explain how, after applying RTR and philosophy to my life and relationships, the information learned from their use causes everything to slide and click into place. What I mean is that, after a particular conversation with my father, and through days of introspection and note-taking after the fact, I learned that my parents are somewhat sociopathic nihilists. What it was that "clicked into place," so-to-speak, was the devastating realization that my anxiety disorder takes the form of my nihilistic fathers voice, which eats and has eaten through my thoughts and motivations throughout everyday of my entire life. This leads me to the rather depressing issue at hand: for the past few weeks, occasionally, I've been experiencing severe depressive states generally followed by serious considerations of suicide. The problem: I DON'T WANT TO DIE... as of now my eyes have teared up and I feel pressure in my sinuses. I've promised myself that I would never take such an action, but I feel so afraid that my future self won't be able to handle the stresses of life and be driven to do this; and I feel nothing short of pure terror. So, from the folks on here, I ask simply for connection. For people who care about life, philosphy, and the future to have serious conversations with, to know that I'm not alone in the world; there are so few I can consider myself close to. I'd like to talk about my experience with anxiety, with life stresses, with my parents, as well as share some RTR success stories. I'm also new to the board as far as posting goes, and new to forums in general, so I ask for empathy in that regard. Glad to join the group, Mason

I thought I had reached a good point in my life. I thought people were respecting my beliefs, and could see the evidence that I am improving my condition. I got married last year, and our first baby is on the way. But boy, howdy. Do the vultures start showing up as soon as a fresh baby brain is available for abuse. My wife and I are choosing to practice peaceful parenting. She is more or less an anarchist, after being kicked out of my home country two weeks after our wedding, due to a visa technicality. However, her parents are Jewish. My father is a kind of presbytarian. He is married to a muslim. My birth mother was brought up catholic, and has become a kind of mystic humanist. And my brother is a buddhist. And now the baby is on the way, her folks are very keen to instill jewish rituals, etc. I thought my wife dealt with it very bravely. But I told my father about it, and now he has revealed his true opinions. Please, somebody have a look at the following conversation. I am not sure whether I should even bother to reply or not. It's upsetting me now. But I'm so angry at the fact they've been flying under the radar for a couple of years. And now I'm having a baby, religion is suddenly a problem. First email, me to my father : Hows it going dad? The past three months have been very interesting for me. Last night was the first joyful fruit of my labour.When we moved house, I convinced (My wife) to try giving up television. It's been a great success. She's happier, and we have great conversations, more often. Last night her parents mentioned something about giving our daughter some Jewish trinkets. Prayer book to keep under her bed. A Talismen to nail outside the front door. Superstitious stuff.I was within earshot, cooking. (My wife) really amazed me with her response. She courageously told her parents we're against superstition. We are not going to tell our dauhter things are true, if we ourselves don't believe in them. She said, we feel it would violate the trust our daughter would have in us. It could harm our relationship. And we don't want to give her the paranoia associated with original sin, & an invisible man following her day and night. The response from her mother was an outburst of distress. Claiming 'tradition' was important, the Holocaust, etc. The father was saying, 'if you can do something harmless to keep us happy, why won't you just do it!?', etc. Quick as flash, (My wife) said, so what if (My father's wife) wants her to wear a Hijab? Should we follow her tradition, to keep her happy? Is it harmless? And, my personal favourite, 'tradition is not a reason'. The parents flipped out. On the other end of the computer, her brother happened to be walking by, and chimed in with 'oh yeah, did you know there isn't even any archaeological evidence that the Jews were ever in Egypt'. I was incredibly relieved. And proud of my wife last night. Rational and brave woman. She has changed a lot in the last 2 years, just through conversations with me. And so have I. And I got to thinking today, that I owe you one. You taught me conversation from early on. So thanks. It's making life a lot better. And we had a good chat after it about how all the 'people pleasers' in Germany, went along with the holocaust. My father's response: It is really tricky sometimes. When I was younger I used to be brutally direct in my opposition to some of my parent's Christian beliefs but as they got older and less capable of of grasping complexity I resorted to keep it more subdued. It becomes harder because you see how much it hurts them. It's also more complex for me because I do believe in an invisible guy following me around, albeit an invisible guy within me. I also believe in life after death, but not out of superstition but because of the evidence I have gleaned and reasoning. But following a religious tradition has to be a personal choice. If it is imposed from the outside it becomes a tyranny in which structure becomes stricture. You and I know how religions have deviated from their original purpose because they have been co-opted by political entities, but that is esoteric knowledge. It is not for the average intellect. As James Corbett replied to a listener's question who seemed to be offended and outraged at James' suggestion that a particular musical genre had been co-opted to the purpose engineering public behaviour: "I am not suggesting the music isn't good, of course the music has to have intinsic merit, if it didn't it would not be effective as a devise of social control..." The true purpose of religion is to cultivate a rich inward life; anyone who thinks they can bully others into inward growth is a fool. If putting something under your bed achieves it, I want it. I somehow doubt it though. Bottom line , and take my word for this, this is only the beginning of your struggle but this will not be struggle you can walk away from. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Learn to have a chuckle for it will not end. Struggle is good for the soul. And never ever become dogmatic, leave that to them and Richard Dawkins, just remember dogma is to protect ourselves from the unknown. You will find it difficult at times but remember that your struggle is not a random accident, on some unconscious level you sought it, perverse as that might seem to you right now. His follow up email after I ignored that one: The reality is you are going to be away working a lot and after baby is born! (Your wife) is going to be too busy to constantly fight it. They will have little else in their lives to expend their energies on... ( I work offshore 6 months per year. 28 days on, 28 days off. I have to continue with this, whilst I await my US green card, which can take a long time.) I have written the following response, but not sent it yet. Any advice from some smart people on here? Don't accuse me of being dogmatic. To do so is dogmatic, and quite arrogant. I don't accept that.There is no such thing as brutal honesty. There is only honesty. Truth is that which can be verified. And truth can only be defined as that which is true for all people, in all places, for all time.Dogma comes from authority. Dogma is inconsistent. And I have read the bible. It is inconsistent, and violent. It serves Authoritarians. Religion has not deviated from it's purpose. It's purpose is to serve the priest class / witch doctors. The claim that religion is supposed to create moral behaviour in people, but the jury is in. 200 000 years of violence, and life expectancy of 20 years old, has only come to an end since the separation of church and state. They are beheading Christian children in Iraq and Syria now, whilst the Jews and Muslims are murdering each other daily in the middle east. The old testament condones violence. The ten commandment originally said 'thou shall not kill other Jews'. By the rules of the book, murder and the death penalty are OK. And transgressing the ten commandments were punishable by death. The definition of god as all powerful and all knowing is contradictory. Everything in the book is contradictory. It says you shall not kill, but god can kill. And he constantly does. Not to mention 'spare the rod, and spoil the child'. It's all in the handbook. It is entirely designed to make you servile to authority. I'm supposed to avoid hurting people's feelings? OK, Granny, I would never try to upset her. She is closer to death than I. And even you, (His wife), and my mother, and the in-Laws. Believe whatever you want. The point is not to convert other people. The point is to protect the clean and innocent brain of a newborn baby.I'm responsible for her. And the people she comes in contact with, can tell her damaging lies.But you don't get to say that I shouldn't hurt the feelings of others. Then expect me to stand by and let people scare my daughter into believing that she is always being watched and judged? Or that If she pisses off a man she can't see, then after death, she will be punished without end, for all eternity, a fate worse than death? Or that if people use certain words to her, they will cause physical changes in the world? It's entirely based on fear. I consider it an act of aggression towards a child. I've grown up scared, paranoid, and uncertain because of this stuff. And the idea that I should fear or obey authority has literally been the hardest thing to overcome in my career. It has put my life in real physical danger. And I have seen superstitious sailors narrowly avoid death, and sustain real injuries, because they failed to take responsibility for their own lives. I want my daughter to be able to know when she's being lied to. Or when her authority figures are failing her. that means understanding and respecting property rights, and Non-Aggression. For all people, in all places, for all time. Including priests, imams, rabbis, gurus, cops, robbers, politicians, teachers, parents, grandparents, friends and enemies. No exceptions. Religion is immoral, precisely because it allows for exceptions. It's not tricky. It's a case of being consistent. And children know that. They know the difference between fantasy and reality. They know about consistency, as soon as they learn that falling over hurts. They don't believe in things they can't see or feel or touch, unless they spend hundreds of hours being indoctrinated. And (My wife) knows it too. And the in laws are easy to argue with. They have a homosexual daughter. If they ever want to say that we should follow Judaism, then they have to turn around and stone their daughter to death. Check mate.

Hi everyone. I am asking anyone for their advice / opinion, and seeing as you all, on some level, support this kind of thing, I would love to get all your thoughts. First of all, what I am trying to do is start my own business, juicing raw, local organic vegetables and fruits and the farmers market. Of course, looking more into running a food business (or any business) , the many government regulations are a complete obstacle serving very little to no purpose. Anyways, a rant also serves no purpose, especially as I feel drawn to run this business anyways. Having worked at many markets, I see there is no stand that offers this, and think it could be a wonderful way to serve people, support local farmers, and make some money as people wake up to living and eating healthy. Anyways, I have come up with a few names for my business which is what I am mainly asking anyone to share their thoughts on the name I could use which is attractive, what is appealing to you (and you think would be to others), etc. Any advice, time and thoughts are welcome and greatly appreciated. Here is my long list, put down to the ones I think are the best. -Rise & Shine -Sweet Inspiration -Triumph -Swift -Harmony -Harmonize -Integrated -Unified -Balance -Poise -Stability -Blend -Blends of Harmony -Its Environmental -Nurturing Health -Sprouting Change -Sprouting Immunity - Local Haven - Rawganic -Revitalize - Revive the System - Kickin Blues -Juicing Change I really appreciate all your time in reading this and trying to help and appreciate everyone possibly being interested in organics and trying to serve a more sustainable, efficient and positive future. For anyone who is interested, I am planning to start by setting up and paying commission to a different vendor, at their stand, while attracting customers to them as well. Starting with buying very little produce, and always purchasing more during the market. If anyone has any background in graphic design or anything, I am really doing this and would be more than happy to pay someone to help me make a logo, sign, or any that if my business really does thrive. I would love any criticism, thoughts, feedback, etc. especially before I go out and spend money on an expensive juicer. Thanks again. Jake

Hello everyone! I have been writing on what will be my first book on self-knowledge (my first book in anything for that matter). I will publish it through amazon as a kindle-book. The book will focus on the concept of Self, or true self as Stef usually calls it, and how to utilize it in self-therapy through journaling. It's a pretty short book (around 6k words), but when I wrote it and before I wrote it, I felt that I wanted it to be short, concise and to the point, so that it will be exposed to more people. Also, I think it will encourage readers to try it out quicker since it wont take up so much time as perhaps other books on self-therapy. What I am asking for now, is for a few awesome FDR people to read my draft and give feedback on it. No requirements of any kind, I'd like to get as much perspectives as possible so it will be a book that will appeal to as many types of people as possible. The feedback I want is: -Is something not explained well enough? -Is something missing? -Have I made some philosophical errors? Stuff like that. Spelling as such will be taken care of later. Want to help out? Throw a PM my way! If you give feedback, I'd be happy to include you in the acknowledgements part of my book, in whatever way you fancy Have a great day everyone!

Bitcoin: Getting Started What is Bitcoin? Bitcoin is a decentralized digital cryptocurrency. Please review this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um63OQz3bjo For anyone looking for a more advanced overview, here is the Khan Academy Bitcoin Course Playlist: https://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain/core-finance/money-and-banking/bitcoin/v/bitcoin-what-is-it Bitcoin Terms: Address (Public Address): These are the parts of the Blockchain which denote where the bitcoins are. Anyone can generate an address and begin receiving bitcoins. The address can be made public in order to receive bitcoins. Bitcoin, BTC: The Cryptographic bits of data that can be exchanged as a payment system. Bitcoins are divisible a theoretical infinite number of times. There are several names for these divisions including BitCents (BTC x 10-2), mBTC (BTC x 10-3), uBTC (BTC x 10-6) and Satoshi (BTC x 10-9). Block Chain: This is the P2P transaction ledger for Bitcoin. All transactions are stored on the ledger and on every computer connected to the bitcoin network. Older transactions are compressed for efficiency, however it still can take some time to update when a computer has been off for a while. Confirmation: It is possible that bitcoins could be sent fraudulently (through double spends, etc). However, the system is constantly being audited by miners. If a transaction is successful, then it will start acquiring confirmations. It is considered to be guaranteed correct if it has acquired 6 confirmations. You may decide how many confirmations you wish to wait for. Increasing your fee will prioritize the transaction to the miners and will make transactions get confirmed faster. If you do not care how long the transaction takes, you can send the transaction fee free. A significant fee to make the transaction occur quickly is still very small. Difficulty: Bitcions are mathematically released and the difficulty it is to get bitcions is constantly adjusted in order to regulate the release of coins. If coins are being released too fast (more people start mining as BTC price rises) then the difficulty will increase making mining less profitable. Double Spend: A user will try to send bitcoins to 2 addresses simultaneously. The software thinks it has enough coin for both transactions when in reality it does not. Thus, the user is attempting to multiply his purchasing power. This is why miners are auditing the system in order to prevent such fraud. Hash Rate: The rate at which a miner’s (or the bitcoin network) calculates problems for auditing and verifying the blockchain. At the time of writing this, the bitcion network’s hash rate is 4,000,000 Gh/s which means that it performs 4 million billion calculations a second. Key (Private Key): This is what allows you to send the bitcoins in an address. If you lose your private key, you can look at bitcoins in a wallet but you will not be able to send them. Public Addresses can be generated from Private Keys, but Private Keys cannot be figured out from Public Addresses. Mining/Miners: Miners use mining equipment to audit the bitcoin system. They are rewarded with bitcoins as they are being released into the network on a regular, planned basis. Once all bitcoins are released, mining will still continue but will survive on the transaction fees. Mixing: There may be a time where you wish to send coins in a way that is anonymous. A mixing service will allow you to send coins into a pool where your coins get sent somewhere unrelated to the recipient of the coins. The recipient will then get coins from someone else who sent them to the pool. Current fees are around 1% P2P: Peer-to-peer system where there is no central location where the data is stored. It is on everyone’s computer and is shared between users. This means there is no central system you have to go through and shutting down one node will change nothing about the system as a whole. Signature: If one wishes to make known that an address belongs to them, they can transmit a digital signature to the network. This will cause you to lose anonymity. Taint: If coins are sent from one address to another, the system “remembers” where the coins have been. This is called taint. Tainted coins can be mixed and sent to a new address if desired. Taint can potentially lead to linking addresses, but because of mixing it makes it impossible to trace. Wallet: This is the collection of addresses that you own is said to be stored in a wallet. If you use the standard software, the file that stores your addresses is wallet.dat. Can Bitcion be Hacked? The Bitcoin Math itself cannot be hacked unless you took the power of the sun and converted it into computing power for a couple million years. This is theoretically possible, but practically impossible. HOWEVER… The weakness in bitcoin is not the math. There are a few ways in which bitcoin has vulnerabilities. The 51% attack: If there was a situation in which someone can get enough computing power in order to overcome the entire bitcoin system (own 51% of it) then their miners could approve the transactions they want to the detriment of actual valid transactions. The longer bitcoin goes on and the more popular it gets, the more impossible it is for this to happen. Currently, it would take a few super computers to overcome the system and is quickly becoming nearly impossible. YOUR SECURITY!!! The main thing you want to be concerned about is YOUR security. The weakness in bitcoin is not the math of bitcoin, but you not having good protection of your private keys. If you store your private keys in a wallet.dat file on your computer, then I will not try to hack bitcoin. I will hack your computer and copy that file. Thus, precautions must be taken. How Can I Get an Address/Wallet? Computer Client (Think Checking Account) There are several ways to get an address/wallet. If you are just going to dip into the bitcoin network and want an easy way to send small amounts of coin, then the best method is to use one of the many programs available for bitcoin wallets. http://bitcoin.org/en/choose-your-wallet The Bitcoin-Qt is the backbone of the network and the main base client if you want to start. Armory Client is a feature-rich client that I currently use. It allows paper back-ups and many other things. Encrypting a Wallet: If you want to add one step up to your protection, both of those clients allow you to encrypt your wallet by using a passphrase. Make sure the passphrase is complicated. An easy passphrase just creates a vulnerability. You can get a good enough encryption in order to make it pretty secure to store some coins. Backing Up a Wallet: You can copy a wallet.dat file onto a thumb drive, cd, or even write your private key on a piece of paper. In case of a hard drive failure, you do not want to lose your coins. Cold Wallets (Think Savings Account): In order to take away the vulnerabilities to your computer, then you can print out an only paper wallet. You can use the public address to send coins into the wallet and only import the private key at some point in the future when you wish to spend those coins. Some especially paranoid (or they just have a loooot of bitcoins) people will buy a computer that has never touched the internet in order to generate the address and then destroy the computer. For a full description as to how to generate a good paper wallet, read this link: https://en.bitcoin.it/wiki/Paper_wallet If you want to generate some paper wallets, you can go here (be sure to move your mouse around as it helps make the address generation more random): https://www.bitaddress.org/ There are many other cold storage options (and you can come up with your own) but here are some examples that are out there. https://www.casascius.com/ http://www.wired.com/wiredenterprise/2013/03/bitcoin-ring/ https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=156534.0 Many more are probably in use that people do not wish to share. How Do I Get Bitcoins? Exchanges There are many exchanges available. If you wish to look at the list: https://en.bitcoin.it/wiki/Trade#Currency_exchanges Coinbase has been used and is trusted by a few FDR users. *Update: Since making this thread, I have created an account at Coinbase and would highly recommend them for purchasing bitcoins. *Update #2: MMD also has used Coinbase and set up an FDR affiliate link. By using this link to create an account and purchasing at least $100 worth of bitcoin, Coinbase will give FDR $5 worth of bitcoin. A great way for you to get bitcoin and indirectly send a little tip for some of the work Stef and Mike have been doing around bitcoin lately. This link is now the FDR affiliate link: https://coinbase.com/ One of the easiest ways to get bitcoins is to use LocalBitcoins.com (https://localbitcoins.com/). LocalBitcoins allows you to meet up with people (at a public place to prevent theft) and trade BTC for money. Make sure to wait for confirmations before leaving a local bitcoin exchange unless you trust the other person [high rating] (and make sure you give a transaction fee to the network so that this happens in a reasonable amount of time.) If you have any worries at all in a local exchange, do not buy and just check the next person on the list. Bad feelings can easily let you just abort the exchange at any time. Besides exchanging money, there are other options. Faucet Sites: These sites pay you to look at ads or watch videos. I run them sometimes in the background when I’m going to be on the internet all day anyway. You will not make a lot of money on this (a couple cents an hour maybe?) However, if you are just looking for a small amount to tip people with or just a free way to dip in, then faucet sites may be for you. I have used bitvisitor.com in the past. Donations/Tipping: Create an address and put it in your signature in forums or on your website. When you produce content people enjoy, they may send you a tip. Payment: Accept payment for goods or services in bitcoin. Especially if you think prices will go up (or bitcoin just has fewer fees) you can provide discounts for customers who pay in bitcoin. Mining: I would HIGHLY recommend against this until you have spent a lot of time on bitcointalk.org and know what you are doing with mining. Mining can lose you money if you get the wrong equipment. However, some people (especially where power is free or very cheap) are able to make money mining for bitcoins. Of course there are probably many other ways to earn BTC, but these are the basics. Can I Accept Bitcoins Without Having to Hold the Bitcions? Bitpay (https://bitpay.com/) and other bitcoin payment providers allow people to accept bitcoins and get a check for the value of bitcoins at the end of the day. This allows people to accept bitcoins as payment, but not worry about potential fluctuations in price in the bitcoin market. How Can I Send Bitcoins? If you have the coins on a cold wallet, import them into a client. Select “send bitcoins” or the equivalent. Make sure the transaction fee is set where you want it to be. Paste/Type the public address of where you would like them sent. Paste/Type the amount. DOUBLE CHECK THE AMOUNT AND ADDRESS!!! There are no chargebacks with bitcoin and someone may keep excess coins that are sent if they choose to. If you send to the wrong address, then it is most likely that that person will keep them (or they will never be seen again if you somehow really messed up). There are checks in the system to correct toward real addresses; however, double checking should always be performed. Send the coins. What Can I Buy with Bitcoins? A list has somewhat been compiled here: https://en.bitcoin.it/wiki/Trade However, there are probably many, many more who are not on that list and accept bitcoin. An open-source map of bitcoin-friendly businesses has been started here: http://coinmap.org/ Even if you do not end up getting bitcoin, but enjoy the idea it would be awesome if you supported bitcoin-friendly buinesses in your area with fiat dollars as well as with bitcoin if you wish. Where Can I Learn More? http://www.weusecoins.com/en/ https://en.bitcoin.it/wiki/Main_Page https://bitcointalk.org/ http://bitcoin.org/en/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/ http://bitcoincharts.com/ http://blockchain.info/ And many more... At this point I will take a break and ask for feedback. I probably made mistakes, so I would be happy to hear corrections. Do you have a question I didn’t answer? I will answer it below and if I think enough people will have the same question, I will edit this post so that others do not have that question at the end. If you want more information on a topic, I may have some sources or can create another post about it. Thanks for reading!

Hey there, this is for the people who've had experience with great therapists in The Netherlands. I myself are not in need of one at the moment but i know someone who does and she has had a lot of bad experience with psychologists/therapists here. They are not curious, they recommend her to just obey her parents because they are her parents and they think she needs serious help because she does not want to do that etc.She(and me also later perhaps) needs someone who has experience with handling traumas and talking about childhood, preferably in a way like Stefan does because i know its really effective for a lot of people. But any good therapist recommendation is welcome!

I’m writing the following with the permission from Hector for anyone in this forum to give their ideas and possibly contribute to answer his questions and maybe alleviate his desperate thoughts about his current situation. I recently posted on FDR about being available to meet people in Hong Kong who want to talk about philosophy. So last week, a guy named Hector contacted me saying he was a teacher in Beijing and wanted to meet me for a coffee. He tells me it would be nice if I had a place for him to stay the night (!), but I decide to still meet him nevertheless, by curiosity. Hector, a young guy with long hair, walks quickly (slightly late) in the coffee shop looking for me. After our introduction, he explains that he is passing through Hong Kong for paper issues related to him “trying” to get an English teaching job in Beijing through a crappy agency. Hector was born in Spain, is 26 years old, and seems apparently in a hurry. Without really explaining more, he start with the question: “Please tell me who your are?”. Wow, I thought. That’s really quick to business. After 5 minutes sitting down, Hector wants to know my childhood, my parents, my studies, my work, my family, and everything else there is to know about me. Being 16 years older than him, I play along and explain a little bit about my background and highlight some of my current interests. But to my surprise, Hector tells me that I’m not answering his question. He needs to know “who” I am, deep down. After this apparent brutal beginning, I decide to ask more about him. Hector is a very intelligent guy. He talks or understands more than 6 languages (Spanish, English, French, Arabic, Swedish, German, …) and is now interested in also learning Chinese. He says he’s had a terrible childhood with significant beatings from his mother (I don’t recall exactly, but his father seemed also absent). In brief, Hector had a crappy childhood, and has now just come out of a 7-years relationship with his girlfriend. So not surprisingly, he seems depressed, and says he’s looking for someone to connect with as he’s now got no friend or family to talk to. His method of communicating is very direct, wanting to know the deepness of my thoughts right away. His theory seems to be that people who don’t immediately completely open to others are “not worth knowing”, and he is wasting his time if he can’t get to people’s cores of thoughts right away. On the other hand, he repeats that he’s got no friends, and doesn’t seem to connect or realise the link between the two. Until then in the conversation, Hector seems like a normal depressed guy who is going through a rough transition phase in his life, and is looking for someone to reflect his thoughts with. I ask him about his plans, and he tells me that teaching in China was his latest plan, but that it didn’t work (as opposed to “he is a teacher” introduction). He’s now supposed to fly back to Spain and “will certainly find something else…”, and then adds “if not, then it will be the gun and the bullet…”. To be certain, I make him repeat what he just said. OK. Now this is no longer a conversation about philosophy. To my eyes, Hector has just transformed into a deeply traumatised young adults who has not yet found a way to explain or accept the terrible rejection and injustice he suffered as a child and is still in a desperate mode to hang on to anything, or die. We ended the discussion after 90 minutes, and he insisted to pay for the coffee. I felt I was leaving a vulnerable guy with some significant issues in a needy situation with his lack of any plan to eat, for a place to stay or to return home. I asked him if he had enough money to do all that, to which he replied that “all was ok”. The nature of our meeting having significantly changed, I didn’t feel any obligation in further helping him, feeling a bit betrayed that he staged this meeting in hopes of acquiring a deep connection appearing magically out of nowhere with a stranger, an immature expectation from someone with an obvious lack of self-confidence and serious issues regarding social connections with other. I have no doubt Hector’s cry for help is legitimate and healthy for him to find a way to get out of his apparent dead-ends. I told Hector would post my thoughts on the forum, and that they would be blunt. He rejoiced at the idea and wrote that this is exactly what he wants: for people to be true and blunt. So I invite anyone on this forum to tell Hector (FDR ID: Withanametocome) his thoughts and ask him questions, in order to help him go through this currently difficult phase of life. Don't give up Hector.

It is hard for me to describe my last 24 hours...for the first time in my life I feel insane. My problem began yesterday while lying on my bed and listening to the 2701 podcast. Near the end Stefan had a discussion with a guy with autism who was also gay, at the moment of that conversation's twist (when he said that he was homosexual) something broke inside me...it is mind numbing to me why I was triggered by that conversation, I continued listening until the end with a big void in my stomach. It is essential to mention that I'm straight but I always had sympathy for homosexuals, but since that conversation I started looking at guys in a completely twisted way it is like I fell half-homosexual and I don't get sexually aroused by hot girls as much as couple of days ago. And that's just the beginning...my body is tense, my mind goes in circles, I am hyperactive (feel the need to walk all the time, I make sudden weird body movements at fast speed) also I cannot focus at all, even writing this post took me more than 30 minutes. Strange thoughts spring in my head out of the blue, and the most unsettling part for me is that I cannot think clearly, I'm generally very good at mental math and having arguments in my head, and analyzing social situations, now it's like I just drink 5 cup of coffees in a row, my mind is fogging a lot. Something in the back of my mind is bothering me and I simply don't know what it is, and I don't see any connection between all that I said, I feel helpless and I can't stand listening to music anymore, I'm scared, please help me! P.S.: I never did drugs nor smoked and I barely drink alcohol, I always had a bit of compulsive-impulsive disorder that would make me from time to time to obsess about some of my body parts and I also feel the need to organize my stuff and my PC, I'm not sure if that relates in any sense with my state at the moment but the way I feel when I had panic attacks and feel depressed has a bit of resemblance with my current state. Please excuse my grammatical errors in case I made any, I am not a native.

Hey everyone, I'm going to jump right in. I'd like to give a little background first so you're on the same page. If anyone has time, I would really appreciate opinions on the conversation below. My name is Andrew. I'm 26, and I'm a long time listener of FDR (my first post on the boards). I just started some serious self-work due to a tipping point finally being reached in my family. About three weeks ago I told them that I wanted a break. I expressed my desire to have space in order to figure things out. Without going into the full history, there's some serious emotional abuse and neglect that I feel I've been subjected to. I haven't seen them or spoken to them for about three weeks now. I've confronted my Mom in the past about these concerns I have of my childhood. What I'm trying to do right now is write down every single detail I can remember about my past. I'm trying to put together a timeline of sorts containing all of the events and experiences I can remember of as a child. So a couple days ago I asked my Mom if I could pick up all of the childhood school papers / pictures she saved. I told her that it would really help me in this whole process during therapy. (I found an amazing one thank god). She told me that she would put together a box with everything and that I could pick it up today (Sunday the 19th). All day today I've been a nervous wreck. And to make a long story short I decided not to go over. I couldn't do it. I just can't see her face to face yet. I'm not ready. So the below conversation is what followed through text message. (I purposely left the typos in the conversation. I felt that it would help paint a more accurate picture of my Mom. Also the lost key conversation happened through email earlier in the day). Me: "I'm sorry mom I cant make it over tonight. I have the day off tomorrow...would you mind leaving the box in the backyard or garage? I could swing over during the day and pick it up." Mom: "Why can't you make it over" Me: "I don't know...I guess I'm scared to..." Mom: "We'll Andy that really hurts me I didn't know I scared you wow! I guess all I can say is when you get your courage back you can come over and get the stuff I put together for you this week. Come over tomorrow if you want after I get off work at 2:30 and pick it up I would like to talk. Love you mom" Mom: "Did you loose all your keys can you still drive your car.? Please reply thank you" Me: "Yeah I got all new keys made last week. I don't think im ready to talk face to face yet, im sorry. Would you mind leaving the box outside? I'd still like to look at the files if you don't mind." Mom: "I don't know what files your talking about I put together dates on a piece of paper dates where we lived and when we lived there. Also the box of your time at meadow lake school and pictures when you were little. I'm not putting them outside it's going to snow tomorrow if you can't see me after work then you can pick the stuff up when you can you can face I'm sorry you can't even see me I love you andy." Mom: "I just don't understand why your feeling this way towards me what did I do? For you to feel this way ." Me: "What about putting the stuff in the garage? You usually leave that unlocked right? I really really want to look at these things. I appreciate very much that you took the time to write down dates...it would help me a lot..." Me: "I don't know mom...that's what im trying to figure out in therapy right now." Mom: "Sorry Andy if you want the stuff tomorrow you can get it from me I want to see you . You don't have to stay and talk. You said you would come over today well I'm going to hold you to that." Me: "Ok. I'll pick up the stuff when I'm ready to talk face to face." Mom: "Ok I'm sorry you feel that way about me remember you have mail to pick up to when ever your ready to see me love mom:-*" I just can't believe that she's holding these things "hostage" in a way. I feel disgusted, completely neglected, and angry as hell. I'm starting to remember her doing this kind of thing to me when I was a kid. Ugh.

No idea whether this is the right place to put this. i am working on a theory, and i was hoping for some input. Why is it that artists claim to hate financial elites and love the common man and yet produce art the common man hates but banking elites buy? to briefly explain where i am coming from, most original artworks are brought by banks directly as investment opportunities or by incredibly rich people as decorations for houses. The art community is incredibly closed off to people who break away from this model, as they are commercial artists. at art shows, the most audacious price for a work will make the most attention, and the rest will disappear into obscurity at provincial galleries. Why is it that on the first lesson of art school, i am told all of this, and then given a load of socialist books to read? how will these books help me sell art to banks? surly i should read up on economics and produce big sculptures that celebrate the glories of banking? Every one thinks art is great, and that public galleries are great because for poor people, seeing art is like a free cultural education. So they think art should be available to the poor, yet when a person dosnt understand the work, they are dismissed as not having the sufficient education as to understand the work. the criticism is not taken into account. if you are actually making work for someone, and that person tells you that they dont like the work, then you have to take their criticisms to heart. if you do not take that persons criticisms to heart and yet you still make money, then it is clear to me that you are not in fact making work for who you claim to be making work for. why are they all trying to claim to work for the poor? because the bloody professors are handing out these socialist books and marking them on how good a socialist they are, despite this not making any sense at all. so before the government gets involved, i want to straighten things out again. The artists want to produce work for rich people because they have the most money. The rich people want to buy art from the artists because of status, or investment or aesthetic desire. the obvious way to do this kind of thing would be to talk directly to the rich people and ask them what kind of art they want. Imagine the art school field trip to hsbc's underground art vault to discuss trends in art buying, or the art school field trip to the rich divorcee banker's 2nd house in Spain to discuss how he wants paintings to match his drapes. Or the artists could find a way to make art that 'normal' people wanted to buy or look at. i dunno both of those options seem hard so lets bring in the government to tell us what to like and what not to like. they hire university professors who hand out whatever doctrine is desired at that time, but usually revolves around the idea that business is bad and we need a bigger government. and nihilism. the government also takes money from people and spends it on art that it wants the people to see, and then makes this seem more moral then just selling art to banks. admittedly this option is boring to me, but at least im not holding a gun to anyone's head. intellectuals who are paid by the government grade and give prominence to work that 'they' like, so the value of work rises independently from its quality. People see this without seeing the causality, and think the art world is mad. they become alienated from art and stop engaging with it. artists see this and become more dependent on the government. the banks buy the work like stock because they know the quality of the work doesnt matter to the value. Artists see this, and not understanding the causality think that banks randomly choose work to exhibit, and so have no understanding of what is good quality art and what is bad quality art. thats what i am working with right now. i admit this is a total brain fart, but can anyone tell me if they think i am close to the mark? i am currently researching an essay on this idea so that i can stop it rolling around in my head like a bag of marbles, so would appreciate any ideas.

I'm sorry for posting this here but I'm unable to afford therapy. Also because of my upbringing I have serious trust issues and I'm too embarrassed to talk to someone in person. I'm hoping this can be a confidential place where I can discuss my problems with other smart adults. I was adopted as an infant. My adoptive father (AF) is a pedophile. My adoptive mother (AM) is a beard and willing enabler. I grew up in the weirdest environment. My parents were never intimate with eachother. I remember they kissed one time in front of me but it was a huge joke. AF wasn't interested in women (or men) whatsoever. Even though AM didn't directly sexually abuse me or do weird things I hold her accountable and complicit in what happened to me. These people, these adults, were entrusted with a baby to raise in good faith. I'm not going to share details but let's just say that my upbringing was very unusual and abnormal. Why didn't I tell the police? Well, by the time I was old enough to realize how weird they were it's like, what do I do? Tell my teachers and the police that I've been living with a pedophile all my life? Give me a new set of parents? It's not an easy thing to do. And of course as I got older AF's despicable actions grew less frequent. One of his favorite delights was grabbing my inner thigh. Pinching and tickling it. Watchout for adults that tickle children that aren't their own. After a football game, hopped into the car. He reached over and grabbed my inner thigh. I told him not to do that anymore. He said, 'Well okay. You said stop so I'll respect that. I won't do that anymore.' What!? Why do I need to tell you that you monster? I have cut myself off from my entire adoptive family, including cousins and aunts and uncles. I feel really bad about not seeing my extended family. Why should I have to stop talking to them because I'm too embarrassed to tell them the truth about my parents? I don't know if I should contact my cousins/aunts now, or wait until my AF passes away. If I wait then my other relatives won't have the choice of confronting him, and they'll be less likely to believe me. If I tell them now there's a possibility that AF will go ballistic and do something horrible. I tried telling some of my best friends about my pedophile AF but it made them too uncomfortable. They deflected the topic or even tried rationalizing excuses for AF's actions. One even tried to make me forgive him and act like nothing happened. I'm 33 years old. I've never had a girlfriend. Everyone thinks I'm in the closet. I have no issue with homosexuals. I have good friends that are gay. I could care less what people do in their own bedroom, assuming they're adults. What I have a problem with are adults that do weird things to children. And if I was gay I would just tell people. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. Because I'm so inexperienced with dating and being around women I ruin relationships before they can begin. I'm so awkward or uneasy and it's been ruining friendships that try to spring up. Can you imagine being raised by a pedophile? Baby to adolescent? Being led to believe that your father's weird behavior was normal behavior? Do you think you'd be in a good position to socialize well? Date well? Children learn a lot from their parents directly and indirectly. I never learned some basic things like money/credit, cooking, cleaning, hygiene. And I certainly didn't learn about relationships or dating. How could I learn such things when my parents never showed intimacy with eachother, never went on dates. The closest I came to having a birds and bees discussion was walking in on AF doing gross things with the computer. That's what I learned is normal. Sometimes I doubt myself and think, well I've seen so many movies and tv shows where people date or couple up, why can't I just follow their lead? Well I'd argue that kids really learn lifeskills from their parents and simply watching a movie about it won't 'set in' the way daily observations in your home would. I tried to find my real birth family but there is no information. I'm in so much pain. I've been sad for so long that my tolerance leaves me numb. I have no family. Can't find my birth family, cutoff from my adopted family. I don't know anyone on the planet that shares my blood. I have a few close friends but they all live in different states. I'm alone and lonely. I'm so alone. I have no one. Oh man, there I go. Making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. Gotta fix that. In recent months I've been having unusually vivid nightmares of my adoptive parents. Them chasing me or me living back in their filthy house. Sometimes I wakeup screaming and sweating and hyperventilating. Other times I feel so sad in the dream that I wakeup sobbing.

Hello, I have an idea I want to share. Today I wanted to listen back to the Call-In show I had the other day, and I saw that it had been posted on Youtube recently. If you didn't get to listen in, I was calling about my lack of motivation in the activities I take part in. It was hard for me(anxiety provoking) to get on the show and expose myself to big chatty forehead, as he is kind of a supermodel of philosophy for me, and I always value his insights. I think Stefan helped me gain a clearer picture of my problem and what I could do to gain passion and start to really live. Now, I went to the Youtube page for the show, and I decided to look at the comments before starting the video. The first comment was someone saying, and I quote: ''Why even continue talking to people like Emmanuel when he's clearly operating on half a brain cell? There are a lot of callers like that. Sometimes I wonder if they are just trolls?''. As I read that, I felt hurt, sad and ashamed. I started to self-attack and ask myself if I was really that deficient, and if I was somehow wasting everyone's time with my issues. I really don't feel well after this, and it sort of shifted my entire mindset that I had before, when I wanted to look back at what someone I highly respect had to say to me. I don't know why I felt that strongly about that person's comment, but I did and I don't think it's a good thing for me to be so sensitive to others, especially if they are abusive. I was also wondering why someone would say something like that, don't they know that it hurts(especially coming from someone who watches FDR)? I just feel down right now and I'm unsure of what to do from now on, to get my ambition back. It's really sad that it can go away like that, with one snarky comment on Youtube. Thanks a lot, and I await your responses. Emanuel