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Hey guys. I have a question about guilt and trying to decipher if it's true self or not. My guilt I experienced a while back about a certain situation that was my responsibility but hadn't hurt anyone had actually led me back into the arms of my parents. I hadn't left them yet and I was about to but the guilt put my life on hold. I had to try to right the situation as much as I could. During that time period I was crying on my mother's shoulder and seeking comfort from both my parents. In all of your opinions, if the guilt I feel leads me to seek emotional comfort from those who abused me, is the guilt necessarily all true self then?

Hello people, hope things are going well for you all! I have finally published my self-help book ''Dear Self'', and wanted to share it with you awesome people here in the community! The book is pretty short, it is an introduction to journaling and being curious and open with yourself. For now, I have it up for free over at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/484220 , so if you'd like to check it out! If you read it and enjoyed it/got something out of it, I would very much appriciate it if you would leave a review of it. Also, if you thought it was really worthwhile, you can hop over to http://www.amazon.com/Dear-Self-self-therapy-introspection-journaling-ebook/dp/B00OKM850G/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413561283&sr=8-2&keywords=dear+self (or just search it on amazon), and buy a copy. I'd really appriciate it

After many months, on and off, writing and editing a special page on my website, it's now publicly released. http://guide.assafkoss.com/ The Moral Guide is a page dedicated to be a concise guide to morality; personal morality. What behaviors should a person turn into habits. What makes for justice. How to define a free person. And how to make sure these ideas, and others, have a place in each person's life. I made it somewhat interactive, to browse the chapters and sections more easily. They are all very very short. This is not intended to be a book, or even an article per se. It's intended to be a short accessible guide for individuals. A clear introduction and reference. I have no reason to assume it is conclusive nor complete! It's designed to be regularly updated, and I am looking for feedback about it.

A quick video of mine on living with integrity, estimating people, and words versus actions.

FDR has given me a lot, and it's time to give back. Money is not currency in this community, but self knowldge is. I am an avid reader of self help books, I read about 2 or 3 a year. One in particular I have read about 10 times and it is still my solid companion wherever I go. For me this book, is goes beyond the obvious. It explains the why there is trauma when parents neglect children. In a a nutshell this books goes into detail why we are not happy in the moment, why we need to practice short term acceptance in order to achieve long term changes and happiness. Acceptance is practised by not trying to change the truth. This is what causes anguish and frustration, I have come to terms with what I now identify as "existential pain". Whish I define as being uncomfrotable without realling knowing why. Me explaining this topic is doing this book an injustice. http://www.ahalmaas.com/books/diamond-heart-2-freedom-to-be I would appreciate comments about this topic, from people who have read the book rather than summaries of the book. I would give a shout out to Mr Molyneux himself to give the book a try. It would make for an excellent podcast reviewing the book. I am not affiliated with this orgasiation in any way. Enjoy the read Karabesh

Here is a nice little story from a website I came across that is worth a look IMO. http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Psychological/LovingOneSelf/GiveToSelfFillNeeds.html WHERE IS THE LACK OF FREEDOM? The observations of the "man from Mars" The "man from Mars" came down to observe the Earthlings to study their primitive habits. He knew we were as intelligent as he was, but he saw that we didn't use that intelligence like they did on his planet, where they had to be very innovative to be able to live below the surface and in the spheroids they created. He saw the Earthlings in this incredibly wasteful "form of exchange". He saw that they spent huge amounts of time trying to "look good" and do what it takes so that other people would give them approval (which they mistook for love). He heard them exclaim things like "all there is is love, love is all there is", "love is the answer", and "you'll be happy when you find 'the one'!" He was taken aback at the ridiculousness of those cultural beliefs, for the efforts put into this unproductive practice displace the efforts that could have been directed toward self-fulfillment, appreciation for life, developing happiness, soothing and nurturing oneself. And the time spent in an effort to control and manipulative the others so that they would be given approval was enormous, pushing out "better opportunities". How silly humans appeared to be to think that they needed the approval of others! And how much more silly it seemed to not give oneself approval and love, as that was the easiest and most likely thing to be productive - plus one would definitely be interested in the welfare of oneself at the highest level. They even spent a huge amount of time in avoiding being disapproved of, amazingly often with people who they didn't even care about. In fact, they were friends with people who they didn't particular care for. He saw that the Earthlings lives were governed by having to be like others wanted them to be, by fitting in, by trying to be sexy and attractive, by trying to be powerful, yet gentle and understanding and compassionate, and as "good as" others (rather than just being themselves and being happy with the cornucopia of life). He at first, just as was the case with the Dalai Lama, could not understand how they could not think they were "good enough" or "not as good as others". He was amazed at how much of a struggle people had in trying to overcome that, in the wrong ways, ways that could not produce the result really wanted. Now if someone was rejected by another person, he was astonished to see how devastated he/she was - that seemed so silly compared to just going on in life and getting more of what one wants from all that is so available rather than being in an upset about being rejected. The man from Mars was astounded to see Earthlings mistake chemicals for love and then to do all they could to satisfy the "other" person's wants being scared to death that they might not. Then once they "got the other person" then they stopped the frantic obsession and were relatively unloving. He even saw supposedly powerful men weak-kneed at the prospects of getting approval in the bedroom, which apparently was a dance of doing the same thing Earthlings do to procreate. These men became little babies - and they even used some baby talk. Astounding! Finally, one day, as he finished his observing and gathering all of his conclusions, he sat down and chatted with six Earthlings, pointing out the illusions they had and observing that they seemed to be a holdover from being a small dependent child. The Earthlings understood and they decided to fill themselves up, as it was much more productive to do it themselves than to try to get it from others - and they gave up the illusion that love would solve all, especially since they saw that few people were really getting love anyway. Those people filled their own tanks so well on their own, with some occasional contributions from others, that they felt so fulfilled that it caused them to have more than enough, so that they were actually able to freely give to others instead of hope to "get" from others. And the giving, for the first time, had no strings attached, no imperatives, no demands, no fear of loss. Those people became truly free, for they did not 'have to' please a soul or try to manipulate or control another's behavior in order to "get" approval and validation from the other. They were independent and didn't need approval or help from others. A byproduct was that they were free to be totally authentic, as they weren't worried about trying to please people to "keep them" as friends. As a result, they actually ended up with more really close friends but an enormously reduced number of so-called friends who were not actually open and close to them. They they had formerly cultivated those "friends" so that they would feel secure by having alot of friends, which in turn made them look better to their friends, and on and on in a "vicious circle" of wasted energy. They no longer needed or sought approval, so they made quick decisions on who to be around, who would be in "fair exchange" with them, who would be someone they would want to be with. At times, they might have seemed unfriendly to others or as agreeable (though they were always kind) as they didn't spend any efforts to do what is expected or to "look good" (there wasn't any reason to do that anymore). And their lives were so much fuller.

I have recently had the great joy of watching, and pondering, a lecture by Swami Sarvapriyananda about an understanding of the "self", according to the Vedanta - a philosophical stream in the Hinduist religious tradition, based on philosophical teachings and texts. I am not, myself, a Hindu, Vedanti, or religious person. A [ridiculously short] summary of his arguments, from my understanding, is: 1) The knower and the known are separate. I am aware of my experiences, but I am not them [strictly], because I observe them. 2) The knower, in this case - my consciousness (self), is unknown. We have no means of observing it, separately, neither practically nor logically. I am the knower, so I can only experience myself, but not observe myself as an object. 3) The knower, this witness to experiences, is the same thing in all living beings and existence. Instead of turning us into metaphysical abstracts, this conclusion actually infers that we are all the projections of the same core thing, like many dreams inside one mind, and thus everything is undivided in nature. 4) Realizing this knowledge, both intellectually and experientially, means we can act out of wisdom, rather than out of ignorance. We don't mistake experiences to be our entire identity; I am not [only] my feelings. What do you guys and gals think about this? Disclaimer: I actually watched his much longer double lecture (Part 1, Part 2) about this, before this short video. There he goers into much detail, with examples on the board (written), so I highly recommend it, if you find these notions worth thinking about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hX93FnWxl8

Hey there! So its my first post on this beautiful board. So i thought I'd make it a good one! I've been so inspired by some of Stef's recent podcasts about lofty ambitions and reaching one's full potential that i thought I'd ask.. What are everyone's ambitions? What are everyones goals / dreams? What is everyone striving toward? This can be anything you like (obviously). What i mean by that is it doesn't just have to be a job or abstraction (e.g world peace). It could be anything. Any situation, Any Goal, Any hopes or dream that your aspiring to with the help of philosophy. I'l start. I wan't to make music full time. I want to make music that as Stef puts it "Lights the electricity in peoples spines!". I've been writing for 15 years so I think I'm well on my way I want a life entirely surrounded by people i love and admire & who love and admire me. Shoot.

I just met an awesome dude. It turns out that he recently completed a book/audio package called "Bedtime Adventures for the Authentic Self" so I bought a package. Yay! I figure it wouldn't be a bad idea to share his website here... http://authenticselfkids.com/ “Imagine…Not just one, not just a few but a whole generation of children fortified with a foundation of practical truths and applicable techniques to access their own inner sanctuary and ultimate potential. A generation grounded in principles which allow them to find a way to be in harmony with nature, themselves and others. A generation of enlightened ones otherwise known as “Generation Authentic”. — Bedtime Adventures for the Authentic Self

i've been struggling with lack of motivation, depression and paralyzing anxiety, to the point of non functioning in my day to day life. I have made a little headway on resolving this through self knowledge and introspection recently, but I know I need to be more active and emotionally stable than I am now, so my life doesn't implode in the meantime. This may sound stupid, but I've been considering trying to cultivate a coffee habit (i've never been a coffee drinker) as a temporary means of coping, so that I can finish the projects that i'm involved in, stop missing important career opportunities and generally be more productive and active. I have actually considered many other drugs to help, but after doing the research it seems like caffeine is the best for my situation. The reasons for this are manifold, but i won't get into them here, I don't want this thread to be apologetics for addiction.The question I want to put on the table is this: What are the moral and mental health perils of replacing one dysfunctional behavior (depression) with another (addiction) for practical reasons? Put another way, what do we think of someone avoiding or repressing their true feelings for the sake utility? Sacrificing connection with their honest experience to meet needs lower on Maslow's pryamid? We tell adults with destructive behaviors that it was necessary for them to develop these as children in order to survive in a deranged family and/or society and that there is nothing wrong or bad about them for doing so, but what if someone is not a child, and consciously chooses this?