MysterionMuffles

Would I be wrong to assert that a huge lack of connection with the family as a whole is what would draw a child to find immense escapism in video games? Been in my case. The rare few times my parents DID bond with me I never wanted it to end, but because it would end abruptly, I would find so much solace in games. Then there's a cousin of mine who doesn't talk to anyone in our family other than another cousin his age, but if he's not around, he's off playing a hand held game on his own.

thanks fellows! I will humbly mention that some of the traits in the false self list...are traits I possess and have been working on reversing lo these 8 years into self knowledge.

Self promotion either personally or business wise. My list is clean of dumb people, til proven otherwise. I like to share the good vibes with them as they all share positive status updates well as content. Facebook can be like your offlne life, get the kinda news you actually care about.

It's fake? Well people in that Facebook argue, regardless of it's realness, that this is the way to deal with such kids. Forget if it's real or not, what about the underlying principle, right?

just horrible...no way of connecting or reasoning. I would argue addiction to games is due to a lack of connections at home. I don't like how the camera man is laughing.

yes because the way men are drawn in comic books has nothing to do with lowering the self esteem of the pencil necked geeks who read them. I've seen this phenomenon. Very interesting. Where they redraw female like poses for male characters, but look at the way males are built in comic book heroes. C'mon!

Emphasizing the badassery of stay at home dads.

I don't believe in God, but when he says "you feel like God put an angel on this Earth just for you," that really punches me in the soul. The way he says it and his intention behind it. SOLID!

So would you say the compulsive thoughts comprise mostly of regrets? Does it take any self talk to convince yourself what is done is done? And can you be happy with it or does it still remain unsatisfactory? Check out my thread on regret, I hope it helps if that's the case.

that makes me real happy you guys. I know there's also been parenting classes in existence for decades now that advocate for reasoning with children. I just thought FDR, due to my bias I guess, is why a lot of people turn to the peaceful route.

yes indeedy doodle

I'm not sure if there's a proper number, but there should be a discussion why they may be afraid of sleeping in their own bedroom.

do you explore what makes those momenets awkward? and do you ever learn anything from exploring them?

This has got to be one of the best movies ever. I really do wish as Stef said, that Matt Damon and Ben Asslick continued to write together about more hard hitting real life stuff instead of getting wrapped up in shoot 'em up action flicks. Will Hunting is a brilliant kid with a serious problem. He is naturally gifted and intelligent, and has a ton of potential, but settles for physical labour instead of tapping into his intelligence. It doesn't help that he's been shipped around numerous foster homes, had a physically abusive father, and having thus developed a very closed off attitude that cuts him off from real connection. Robin Williams role as his therapist also shows a great deal of his serious and darker side while also being able to connect with him, instead of being creeped out like in One Hour Photo lol. But seriously, as Sean Maguire, he plays the only therapist who doesn't lose their shit over Will's assholery, and in fact connects with him in a way no one else can because they share similar histories. Check this gem out if you haven't, it's one of the best stories about living up to your potential and the people around you who either force you to or allow you tap ito that potential...

yeah I used to be a compulsive thinker too and sometimes still am. Try journaling or audio journaling to slow the thoughts down and see if you can connect them to any logical order. I used to make myself cry from very serious negative self attack. It took Eckhart Tolle to help me practice present moment living. Just being concious of breath and surrounding. It's very dibilitating and I'm sorry that you're also experiencing this. Is there anything in your present life situation that may be causing the thoughts? Or are you in a better place that a part of your brain still wants to stress you out?

Where are the links? I only see the song. Do you mean your other thread where I think there was a list of 20-30 traits of a narcissistic mother?

Omg I love that song it's what got me fully into Korn after dipping my toe in just Freak on a Leash. I admire your comittment to self-knowledge, I hope you made the most of your day off. It's also a weird fine line between narcissism and self-curiousity, the journey of self-knowledge. I read by Dr.Drew Pitski that everyone has at least a few narcissistic tendancies and self-exploration might fall under that category. I'm not expert, just have my cautions about it. Reading your post, though, helped me make the distinction. That narcissism is more about self-image than healthy self perservation. Always a pleasure to learn from you Joel, especially about the feeling of unreality being a projection of the narcissists own personal hangs ups. Does put a lot of perspective on some of the narcissists I've dealt with in the past. BTW...that song really does bring back some memories. I knew the lyrics always resonated with me, but for you to point out the importance of the chorus, for being loved for just being you--well it sure as hell added a whole new dynamic to how I feel about this song. It's funny how much of a difference ONE letter would make. I used to think the lyrics were "love just for me," as in a selfish thing all desired for him and only him. But "loved" changes it a lot. Takes away the narcissistic inclination I used to have for it.

yeah totally my brother said almost the same thing when I discussed this topic with him

I think you already know the answer...

I was referring to my post and how she goes against the values she claims to believe in. I might elaborate in greater detail later. oops sorry Austin I counted the messages wrong I meant 7th post! I dunno how I got 4

ah I see. Love is selfish because even admiration of another's virtue is still self serving because to admire these qualities is to give yourself the pleasure of being in their presence. Everything is essentially selfish because we all inherently have needs and desires and derive pleasure from attaining them. Removing the stigma that selfishness is a vice can vastly help improve this perspective.

Signs of rationality: refraining from insults showing curiousity without hostility even while still disagreeing with you, their responses are actually relevant to what you've said refraining from interrupting too often refraining from getting aggressive or passive aggressive accepting when an argument of yours refutes theirs hope that helps!

yeah so I can admit that her conclusion is right, that I do take what she says personally. But constantly inflicting that conclusion on me as a way to dismiss me, as opposed to taking the time why I have this perspective--and thus being stuck on hers--gave me too much anxiety to continue a relationship with her. I've always opened myself up for her perspective on anything, but even those invitations were also attacked because she assumes that I would attack her for contrary opinions. In one semi successful RTR, she finally admitted that she shrugs off the conversations by telling me to do my own research, simply because of that fear. I appreciated that openness from her and for a while I thought the concept of RTR clicked for her, but I'm not in the business of trying to change her if she herself cannot hold onto new knowledge and accept or explore it further--just because it doesn't already align with her preconceptions.

Are all virtues selfish? I'm asking how is love a selfish virtue. Is it meant to be self serving when you find someone who does embody virtue?

She could have just as easily not participated in the challenge and not post this status. But because so many of my friends, some of them mutual between us, ARE participating in the challenge, it felt like she was diminishing the positivity we wanted to spread throughout our Facebook circles. I never said she was attacking us, but basically diminishing our engagement with this challenge. I merely state that I feel disempowered and discouraged from reading her post. The attack comes in the private chats I've had with her where I simply state how I feel about her post. That's where she gets personal and defensive, telling me to re-read all these spiritual books we've both read, that I'm just taking things personally, that I'm being a difficult person for being offended by everything she says. Which is rich because I don't get offended by everything she says. We have long winded debates, and when she simply can't make a reasoned argument, I ask for more clairification, and that's when her ego kicks in and acts like I'm this sensitive little boy for getting frustrated with how she brushes off the conversation by telling me to go do my own research---when really I'm just genuinely interested in her input. Well, I've lost that interest because I simply get attacked for lacking knowledge that which I just want her to enlighten me on. The ironic thing about this post is that she posts DAILY quotes from spiritual teachers that talk of gratitude, awareness, and compassion. You wanna talk hypocrisy, Jake? Read the 4th post in this thread.