LovePrevails

I think this is a critical point here in fact, and very well communicated! it is in fact hardest to practice empathetic communication to those closest to us because we may have a wall of resentment towards them which was developed in response to frequent bad treatment as jpahmed says there are no musts in this and people should not choose it if it damages them further also, no one can be their parents therapist for example still, there is some value to some people of being able to do this - particularly if they aren't in a position to break free yet and can benefit from increasing the mutual understanding in the relationship even just for the short term - reflective listening is a good way to increase your chances of being heard in situations where the person usually wouldn't listen

Cab21 great suggestion and that is something I would really like to do! I will be looking into in the future might even do some with my girlfriend about how we have resolved conflicts IRL and what the positive results were

First of all, bear in mind that on the internet, as in real life, it is a sellers market girls get messages constantly and take their pick so they have a lot to choose from and most tend to only answer some it is not personal it's just they get a lot I would just say that you might want to pick something that is a bit less standard - I would skip out your name because they can ask if they are interested and it gives them something to be curious about Next, after you say something you like about their profile, comment on something else, if it is humorous so much the better "I see you like the new superman movies, don't you think superman is too super? he can do anything... I prefer batman because he is a self-made man." That will give the appearance of already being in a conversation with the person and make it easy for them to build rapport with you. I think saying "I would like to get to know you better" is a bit redundant - because why else were you messaging? Women are emotional communicators and read between the lines - "I would like to know you better" reads like "i would like to date you" to many women something like "lets talk soon" is more casual etc. these are just my suggestions

I think you are right, I think people are ego invested in being right too often and not improving the relationship often enough If you can often empathise with people then you can build up mutual trust and if they value you then they become much more tolerant to having their opinions challenged Can't say this will often work with parents who don't see one as an equal, but certainly with acquaintances, friends, associates, etc. it has been my experience. I just would differ on the words "changing someone" I don't want to go around changing people, and you can't I'd rather say "influencing someone in a positive way"

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking” – Freidreich Neitzsche. The cerebrum of the human brain is split into two hemispheres. the left is associated with organisation, structure, logic, reason, analysis, language, facts and figures, statistics and specifics. The right hemisphere is holistic and intuitive, it relates to context, processes pictures, and is involved in synthesis rather than analysis. Thus, the right brain is the seat of our creativity. Arguably this is why so many great scientists and philosophers have come up with their discoveries intuitively during activities such as walking, cooking, knitting or driving. During these activities the mind of the individual is defocussed from the particulars of a problem. The right brain is therefore free to synthesise information, which the unconscious mind has absorbed while the left brain was focused on learning, into new hypotheses. This could have been offered as the answer to Einstein’s humorous question, “Why is it I always get my best ideas while shaving?”

I also had the view that "going galt" and excluding unreasonable people is more about protecting yourself emotionally if it encourages them to think twice then that is just an added bonus - I excluded someone from my social group for being too aggressive and relentless in debates and not entering into constructive discussions about meeting each of our needs and preferences, but he knew some of the books I had read on improving communication he could read them if he wanted - he also watched news and soaps all the time he could have been consuming the wealth of information online on improving communication skills and conflict resolution instead he can still do it if he wants, I made a path for him I think I covered three effective ones: (1) empathise with their emotions and move the conversation from who is right onto feeling and needs. (2) encourage them to talk until they've fully expressed their views. (3) Listen reflectively without agreeing until they show curiosity in your view. (4) Leave the situation.

I also think the thread is very interesting I also think my appearance, including hair, will end up being a plus because I will look original and be "that quirky guy" I don't want to seem like a clean cut automaton I really don't like clean cut automatons I feel like they are overly conformist and they are focussed too much on appearing acceptable to really push an agenda of authenticity We will see Thanks for all the feedback it has been really great and inspired thinking

I was recommended two books by a counsellor on overcoming procrastination "Isn't it about time?" by I can't remember and "Beating the comfort trap" by Windy Dryden I am also now writing a book on the subject myself as part of my effort to overcome procrastination and gather together and document what has worked for me

You could work in daycare for a while while you're trying to figure out what to do, especially if you're a man the kids would probably like to get a good male role model that treats them with interest and care and attention it would also give you a chance to develop lots of anecdotes to make points on how peaceful parenting can work

I don't think so, it is preferable to win but only aesthetically you might learn more from losing than winning therefor it is not objectively good to win

most feminists are not aware of any of the writing on men's issues which would seem to show deliberate bias since its all out there however a lot of feminists are motivated by a desire for justice I have certainly found talking to the feminists I know on men's issues was able to provoke curiosity and interest in them, but I am a good and sensitive orator and I delivered the information over several sittings so as not to set up an us-vs-them scenario ---- I have since been told by these people I really opened their eyes to the other side of the coin and have been thanked for doing so. The purpose of this video was to model the kind of communication that encourages mutual understanding rather than making enemies of people with differing views on gender issues. I think it was very successful as it got positive responses from feminists as well as lay people and men contacted me to say it accurately reflected their experience. Usually I have seen men tlaking about men's issues to feminists and getting shot down so I must have done something right. Please offer any feedback.:

it sounds to me like your head is very busy and you could really benefit from doing a lot of jounalling on the topics that keep appearing and reappearing in your thoughts so that you can get your own views on these issues really clear this will expand your understanding and send you down lots of different avenues and help you integrate what you know unconsciously with what you know consciously and solve some of the niggling problems and contradictions that keep you going round and round it should also help exercise some ancient emotion and make you feel freer don't be afraid to write as much as you are able to

I, too, am immature enough to enjoy this picture.

Try OKCupid instead. POF is a joke.

Liberal Logic - Agreeing with someone for them to pay you a portion of what you are worth to them = Slavery Being forced to pay a percentage of your income at gun point to the government = Freedom

you can also send him to my channel on cultivating fulfilling relationships if he decides to continue: www.youtube.com/enrichyourlife1 --- especially if he is the man and she respects him he can take the lead in setting good boundaries in the relationship.

Thank you for the positive feedback Ari , very much appreciated I am going to seriously look into improving the production values, if they are as important as people on the thread say they are then this is well worth doing I am not changing my haircut as it is part of my identity and I am not a prostitute I also don't think I am spreading controversial ideas (yet)

I do not believe that that is the case if you are being genuinely empathetic - a lot of the time people do not feel like they have "permission" to experience what they are experiencing unless someone points it out this is a primary approach that is promoted in a lot of the literature around improving relationships - "I can see you are feeling frustrated about it, " often leads to seeing some relief in the other person, I have several times talked people down from anger by identifying it and containing the process of them coming out of the defensive instead of debating witht hem while they are angry rather than debating with them you need to choose your moments to be fair and it might take some practice, it is definitely a useful discipline though if you master it people will really trust you and take more interest with what you are saying because you "get them" don't continue to try it on people it doesn't work on though obviously

I will definitely see about improving the lighting for the next one then. There is a place in Edinburgh that does 2nd hand cameras phones laptops etc very cheap so I can see if I can get a $150 one for more likk 60/70 it will be a bit more difficult to film but if it makes them look better then that's good I think it's important that I get lots and lots of practice on the speaking/presentation as I think I am improving gradually gradually my aim is to upload one every 5 days and I have been doing that consistently and I think the quality is going up and confidence I am seeing what works (more hand gestures, more humour, more smiling, more examples - especially funny ones) and doing more of this seeing what doesn't work (speaking in a monotone, spekaing mechanically, etc.)

yes I think it's ultimately important to not keep damaging people in your life I also agree that it is worthy to try to empathise people down form their emotions, as that builds trust and can often open people up to new ideas they wouldn't consider form someone they did not trust

Here is a video on some options for dealing with unreasonable people or people who are being unreasonable check it out, let me know if you find it useful, feedback! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiE6Uwd-8wA

yes I've seen Darius' stuff, I think I'm gradually getting better here is the latest one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiE6Uwd-8wA

nice to see you back! thanls for making videos

find out what skills or expertise people are most willing to pay for and see if there is any of them you are interested in developing and sharing, then focus single-mindedly on becoming an expert.