Molly

I came to peaceful parenting when I was pregnant, just in time. Glad to have more parents on board! Beyond some of the research above, I have some practical suggestions to help you achieve success. -- Support network! Find your tribe, join mommy & me groups at a local hospital or find a play group kids close in age. Figure out how much help you want from family and friends. Setup expectations and boundaries ahead of time. -- Get a good therapist! Schedule appointments ahead of time if possible, months or weeks will fly by before you realize it. I was deep in post-partum depression before I started therapy - I wouldn't recommend waiting that long. -- Self Care: Take care of your own needs! I thought I had to be a martyr in the beginning. In the newborn months when my son would nap, I would organize a closet or obsessively wash dishes, or read up on parenting blogs when I should have been napping and focusing on recovery... later I still sacrificed sleep even when my son was sleeping through the night. That's just one example of how I burned myself out, it took a heavy toll on me and it affected my parenting. Now I have to be careful that I get a full nights rest, eat right, don't make too many outside obligations in order to maintain the energy it takes to peacefully parent a toddler! Take turns at night if you can, let your spouse get out of the house on regular basis... take a shower every day so you feel human, etc. Just like they say on an airplane, put on your air mask first... otherwise you won't be able to help others.

Thanks for adding me to the group, glad I found this topic

Yuck. I have the "balls" to NOT hit my kid. It is WAY harder to resist that urge than doing so. With a toddler, all day... let me tell you there are plenty of times I am tested and it takes tremendous willpower. Tell me how it's weakness to have some self control.

Wow, some highlights... "wealth hoarders"... haven't heard that phrase before, yikes. "1.3 Trillion is just the beginning..." (of what we want paid for.) This is probably the biggest interview of her life, looks like she rolled off of a futon five minutes prior to going on national tv... sigh.

Wow, this topic really went off the rails; such a shame. TheFuzz I hope you will find something useful in this and not be chased off the boards. You deserve to be here and could be a valuable part of the whole conversation, no different from anyone else. I'm going to just leave some peaceful parenting resources here for you TheFuzz. All of these have been great tools for me to become a more peaceful parent, and overcoming the personal obstacles that come from not be parented peacefully myself. "Philosophical Parenting" Separate Freedomain Radio Podcast Feed (Stef's "Bomb in the "Brain" series can be found here and on youtube) "Parent Effectiveness Training" Book/Audiobook "Peaceful Parent: Happy Kids" Book/Website from AhaParenting.com, Dr. Laura Markham "Love and Logic" Books/Podcasts "The Science of Parenting" Book

I am married to a cop. I too struggle with the issues you stated as it relates to myself and his job. My husband is an empathetic, fair, educated person (with some childhood trauma too, let's be honest) who got onto the force as a young man because he felt a calling to "help people". The sad reality is those traits that make him such a good cop are causing him to be eaten alive on the streets. He's had major injuries, surgery, PTSD, nightmares, sleep deprivation... I want him to leave so badly but I can't seem to convince him yet that he'd be successful at something else. And yes, it would be one less "good cop" on the streets. I don't know if the system can be changed from within, I am losing hope on that front. As you know the culture is so insular and one-sided in many ways and fears outsiders; and for good reason too sometimes as a means of self protection. You have a union, politicians, and media which all set the narrative too. Do you feel like you are making a difference with training new officers? If so, I'd love to hear a silver lining.

In a Facebook group for moms I responded to a topic about what to do if the child of a friend hits, chokes, screams, or acts aggressively toward your own child. The original poster thought the child might be a "psychopath", he's also just 5. I suggested the child could be acting out because of abuse or bullying at home, with a caretaker, or at school... what do I know, but nobody else suggested that's what it could be. The defensiveness of the moms who claimed to also have "that kid" that followed was disappointing, but not shocking. I consider myself to have been one of "those kids" growing up and acted out aggression on others, mainly my siblings, so I know what I'm talking about. Is this a lost cause talking openly about this subject of child abuse?

Avocadogreta from what you've shared I think if we were in the same city we would be friends; I wish I knew someone like you in my neck of the woods!!! My son is still very young but I'm interested in unschooling or some other form of home education as well. I found Stef and the The Truth about Circumcisin when I was pregnant, just in time! I wouldn't necessarily put CIO and spanking in the same category, but I get what you are saying. I think most people are emotionally invested in these topics and that's why there is such a split, instead of a philosophical approach. You're doing a great job!

"intensive mother- ing serves the interests of the most powerful, “namely men, whites, the upper classes, cap- italist owners and state leaders” (p. 162) by having individual mothers devoted to rearing well-educated, disciplined, and healthy children while not competing much in the workplace themselves and doing work in the home that frees up men’s time. " **Rant Alert** I AM NOT, nor have ever been, OPPRESSED! My mothering shouldn't be labeled "Intensive" just because I CHOSE to stay home with my son. I do QUALITY AND QUANTITY with him every. single. day... I made a conscious, informed choice and LISTENED to that nagging guilt and left my promising career behind (for now) for better things. I have never regretted that choice. Every morning when my son greets me with a face beaming with JOY all doubt is washed away. I would never in a million years trade that for expensive coffee in a gray cubicle surrounded by people I barely know; just because a "feminist" wants to tell me so. **End Rant**

Agreed, loved this call, so moving and thought provoking. For a long time I've only been focused only on the negative aspects of my Catholic upbringing; It's taken me years to shake off the crushing guilt, and I've been so angry about so many things. The conversation reminds me of the good parts of that community that I've taken with me... but to again the question is, to where?

Short, sweet and to the point. Thank you for sharing the video

I remember listening to this podcast while breastfeeding my son as a newborn; and it helped get me through some of the darkest days of my life. I had a physically painful first few months of breastfeeding, and extreme negative emotions triggered by milk letdown (D-MER, a sudden physical response tied to a decrease in the brain chemical dopamine). It was a crazy roller coaster of highs and lows; and it would have been SO easy to give up, and nobody in society would have "blamed" me for it. I despaired thinking how can I make it 6 more days, much less 6 months... forget a year. This podcast however was a rare reminder of WHY I chose to breastfeed and helped cheer me on when friends and family were less than understanding. Long story short we turned a corner at 5 months and now at 13 months it feels like no time has gone by at all. Some facts and encouragement can go a long way for both mom and baby! THANK YOU

Greetings, fellow Wisconsinite!