villagewisdom

Hi Isaac, downloaded the book but can't read it on my computer. It says I need an iOS device. Perhaps I can get it on my iPod but it is several years old -- we'll see. That's the only iXXX device I have. I could not find a way to get just the audio portion. Do you know how? I am curious about putting something like this together and have a few questions about the process. A couple of things I noticed that I have trouble with are the write up summary about the book and the artwork. Did you contract these out or do the work yourself? I run into these issues when I come up with ideas but lack skills in certain areas. Specifically writing ad and marketing copy are outside of my areas of expertise and artwork is not even on the same planet with me. Most of the time these limitations in my thinking are brick walls to getting my stuff out there. Hence the slowness of my progress with my web content, ebook, newsletters, etc. Thanks for any help with these issues.

I started podcasting about 3 months ago. I have 6 episodes out there. I podcast every two weeks. It's interesting how things work sometimes. I posted that I used Podcast Answerman and Pat Flynn's video tutorials to get started in podcasting. It prompted me to re-visit of couple of Pat's podcasts. I'm finding out today that Pat Flynn is absolutely amazing. I don't think it will take years for me to gain traction with my podcast. There are so many things that can be done to get the word out and to "brand" it. I am so pumped by the info on Pat's site and his personality of just putting stuff out there for free -- and how to monetize with integrity (my words there, not his). His website is smartpassiveincome.com and I highly recommend checking it out. So someone asks about equipment and I am stimulated to give my resources. And because of that, I'm led to look more closely at one of those resources. And I find out how to make my website and podcast grow and generate income for me. I'm pumped. It is a lot of work on the front end. But I can totally see that it is what I want to do as my next career move. Thanks to the community.

I'm no therapist but have learned lots about dream interpretation and taught many, many people how to work with them. I never remembered my dreams either until I started giving it attention. Which brings up the question of why you are interested in dreams. There are medications that suppress dreaming. If that is the case with you, it is my experience that there is nothing you can do to override that medication. Mostly people do not remember their dreams because they are not important enough, no one talks about them, etc. They serve no purpose to most people. Kids dream a lot. However, they also emulate their parents. So if the parents never give attention to dreams, then many children won't either. They simply learn to ignore them. There are so many other things they are learning. Dreams can easily take a back seat. After years and years of this it can take some time to get the message to your subconscious that you are now interested in what is there. Also when kids have nightmares, mostly parent say stuff like "it was only a dream. It is not real." This is true, but it also reiterates what I was saying about not giving dreams any attention. Kids are taught to just "forget about it" and not to give them attention. I have worked with hundreds of people's dreams -- perhaps thousands, I never kept track. The advice that I gave anyone who did not remember their dreams was to put a notebook by the bed with a pen handy. Then write in the notebook every morning. Or when they woke up in the middle of the night, same thing. Write down whatever you remember. At first it might just be an impression or emotion or feeling. Write that down also. Next you might get a few images. Even if the entry says "I did not remember my dream", the simple exercise sends a signal to the subconscious that you desire to remember your dreams and you will begin to remember. Hope this helps.

I also started podcasting after Stef's example. I'm also in IT. I learned about podcasting via Podcast Answerman Cliff Ravenscraft. http://learnhowtopodcast.com/ and I also used Pat Flynn http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/ I thought both of these guys provided really good information on equipment. Cliff Ravenscraft has a video that is called "why you should start a podcast within 90 days" or something like that. I was able to accomplish this easily. Good luck in your endeavor. I don't have very many followers but I still find it very rewarding. I'm using some advertising via Facebook and was successful in getting my "likes" up in a relatively fast manner. However, my podcast feed subscriptions are still very small. I mean really small like going between 10-16 subscribers over and over again. I'm not really reaching that many people but I'm going to keep going anyway. I need to find other advertising outlets. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you about my experience. p.s. I lived in Indianapolis twice. I first moved there in 1987 and was there for 9 months and then in 1990 for two years.

My experience is likely not the same as yours. But if you are in a place of relative safety and comfort and don't need to go anywhere for a while, you might consider letting it play out. You might get into the feeling instead of trying to make it go away. You might observe and examine it in detail. For me that might take several days -- but sometimes not. I've had some pretty awesome revelations during times of darkness, confusion, depression, racing thoughts, numb thoughts and chaotic thoughts. I've only been able to sit with it all the way through a couple of times as it always resolved on its own no matter what I did. It was just easier for me if I didn't try to fight it. I just woke up one day and was back to "normal".

I did take the compliance route. Although, after hearing your perspective I am now relating this to my issues with binge eating and alcohol. I recently discovered a kind of entitlement mentality that I have developed around the food especially. It is about potato chips and chocolate. There is a cycle that I was going through that was deprivation followed by binging on chips and chocolate "because I deserved to have what I want" and also associated was the thought "because I am an adult now I can eat whatever I want and as much as I want." I think the problem with alcohol is the same. Though I wasn't deprived of that as a child, it is the reduction of the ability to make proper judgments that was getting me in trouble there. I would drink some and then with impaired judgment I would continue to drink and not really know how much I was actually consuming. But again, I could drink as much as I wanted because I was making my own choices now. I've stopped the alcohol now and the chips/chocolate but now cookies and cupcakes are giving me an issue. It is all about chasing around this same thought though. I just keep plugging away at it. The topic shows up in my dreams also. Just a thought, because you mentioned the win-lose mentality. Have you tried negotiating win-win scenarios with yourself? I'm working on that with the food issue I mentioned. I opened the doors in my mind to eating absolutely anything I want and as much as I want. The only condition is that I must actually be hungry and I must stop when I am no longer hungry. I'm learning the skill of listening to my body and letting it tell me what I want. The result is that I have found that I immediately stopped binging because I am no longer deprived. I win and my body wins. I am actually enjoying good food, have found that the sweets and junk really don't taste that good if you really give them your full attention. And it worked to stop the binging of the chips, the chocolate and cookies. Now I'm working on cupcakes. I'm hoping that once I get through the list of stuff that I was forbidden as a child, I will be back on the road to only eating what's really good for me. With the occasional pleasure of whatever sweet is appealing in the moment.

Saying "FDR listeners are above that kind of work" is just wrong if you are referring to the average IQ of the audience. You may have a higher IQ. Ok. So you're smarter than average. So what? Saying something like "you are more likely to experience boredom and dissatisfaction with work that may require less mental capacity than you are capable of exercising" is how I would phrase it. No one is above or below any level of work. We simply make choices about how we will use our time and energy. And then other choices as needed. And if IQ is not what you were referring to, then what were you saying with that statement? I'd really like to know. Maybe you meant that he would be bored. I've even heard Stef talk about manual labor, trades and farming types of jobs in the same way, as if you can't be smart and work hard physically. As if the two are mutually exclusive. As if you can't do the work, learn some business smarts and start your own company with full knowledge of what it takes to do the work. As if working with your hands is somehow demeaning and denotes lack of intelligence. Hi Jake, Why the change of direction in your career? It certainly is a challenging field and you are definitely up to the task. And there are lots of options for getting there. I'm just curious. If you'd like to share via Skype, we can get together next week. I'm traveling today.

Hi Pilip, These scenarios remind me of a way of thinking that I discovered in myself that I have since addressed and am having great success with changing. As a child I was taught that I needed to do unpleasant things before getting what I wanted. Such as "you must clean your room before going out to play". Or "you must eat your vegetables before getting desert." As an adult I noticed that I would do exactly what you are describing whenever I thought of something I wanted to do. I would think "oh I really want to do this." And then I would proceed to come up with a list of "tasks" that needed to be accomplished before I could go and do or learn what I really wanted to do. In the end, I was rarely doing what I really wanted to do because there were all of these other things that needed to occur first. Thankfully, I have finally seen it and now laugh at myself when I start this way of thinking. It used to interfere with even the simplest of desires. Like I might want to go for a walk just to be outdoors because I love it. However, immediately I would think "oh I need to finish the laundry and clean the bathroom and sweep the floor" and on and on. You see? All necessary and useful tasks to be accomplished. But the bottom line is that it would get late and I had to cook dinner or it got dark or I got so involved I forgot what I wanted to do. I was never really doing what I really, really wanted to do. I am overjoyed to say that I recognize this kind of thinking now. and I go for the walk. And you know what? The other things still get done. It's amazing. What do you think?

Hope there is another time for this. I cannot join anything on Friday after 2:00 pm as I travel home on the weekends but would love to join. Perhaps there can be two or three call times scheduled on a regular basis. Everyone would not join every call, but it would open it up for more ladies. I'd be happy to host a call on the weekend perhaps every other week or once a month.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt the first time you showed a real lack of respect for our online conversation. At this point, I'm going to be perfectly frank with you and then end the conversation. Your lack of respect for me is astounding to say the least. But truly, it is second behind your lack of self-awareness. Sure you may have made one step forward. But I have no doubt you will rebound to poking your eyes out -- and in fact I think you already have. You need some serious therapy. I understand you don't want to pay for it. Your lack of respect for yourself and everyone else around you would testify to that. You find no value in anyone or anything and I see no indication of a desire to change -- as I mentioned before.

That's a really positive turn around. Your dream is closely paralleling the changes you have described. I will also want to use this in my dream interp podcast because it illustrates clearly how a dream can provide insight and evidence of success in someone getting the message, making changes and seeing the result in a subsequent dream. School is a place of learning. Your friend Joe is an aspect of yourself that you are describing as "light-hearted". So these two parts of your meco system are working together to learn something new. So you getting in touch with a lighter side of yourself. The briefcase is carrying valuable information for the work you are doing with your thinking and image of yourself. I think the TV is you looking at yourself as an observer and the computer gadget is perhaps the mechanism for processing and controlling the image. It might also indicate memory as well. So together they are a tool for making the changes. You wanted to own it. Great. That would be taking responsibility for being the one in charge of making the changes. Also, you just sort of haphazardly started trying some things to change your thought patterns. That parallels "though it didn't look like much". But now you may be brewing up an expanded idea to make the changes. This is indicated by Joe putting together an even better tool/gadget. On another note, did your wife enjoy the night? And if so, it would be important to know how you were acting with her prior to the joyous event. It is key in re-establishing that relationship on a regular basis.

Sounds like you are on the road to change. Watch your dreams as you go. They will indicate how you are doing and where you are tripping yourself up. The recurring dream should stop or at the very least be altered in a significant way the next time it appears. If it does not, re-examine your method and try again. Although, I believe you will be successful if you are using the Bradshaw method as you described it. I am not familiar with his stuff though it is on my list of "to be read". On another note, I would like your permission to use your dream in a podcast episode that I am working on regarding dream interpretation. I need an example to illustrate my method and would like to use the dream we have been talking about here. Regarding details about you, I would only say that it is the dream of a 50-year-old male. The details of what you have provided I would leave out and only reference generalities such as that you acknowledged this was true or that was true without the details of your specific life experiences. My podcast is published every other week. The main target audience is young females but much of the information is appropriate for anyone, and especially any woman of any age. Much like Stef has marketed to young males. I'm working the other side of the equation, though not using so much logic and philosophy as I'm very new to that. My approach is personal experience, common sense and invitations to think outside of the box and to question, question, question everything. Peaceful parenting is and will continue to be a central theme on many podcasts. Please let me know if using your dream is okay and if you have any questions about the podcast or purpose of using the dream. TIA

You are welcome.

It sounded like you answered your own question there. Though it may be the chicken and the egg.

One other thing. The Life/Health Coach in me is insisting I ask about your dream resort. What is stopping you from just making it happen? You could be a real innovator in the industry if you created a model that was a win-win for all. It might be the kind of place where the "hostile environment" does not exist. Okay two other things. The curious in me wants to know what is unique about you and your place? Why would I visit your place rather than another?

Thanks for the feedback. You writing style is one of your "great" characteristics. I was engaged through the entire post. I feel the need to provide additional feedback on your state of mind. It relates directly to the recurring dream. You do not seem to care to change your thoughts about yourself. You have a recurring dream indicating you are torturing yourself endlessly and you are aware of your self torture. Yet you do nothing about it. There is no plan to do anything about your self immolation. Therefore, the dream recurs. I can see you have a plan to change your physical location. I assume there are no children as you did not mention any. A change of location seems prudent based on what you described. And a huge point of interest is that I believe you are actually aware that your self condemnation, sacrifice, torture, etc will follow you. Yet still -- no plan to change that. One quote from above really stands out for me. "I don't merely feel unworthy, unwanted, unloved. I am in fact. " I see two possibilities for what you actually mean with this statement, but of course there could be some other that you could share. The first possibility I see is that you actually identify with being unworthy, unwanted, and unloved and are comfortable with that identity and therefore you have no intention of changing it. You see it as who you are. The second possibility is that you are in fact unworthy, unwanted, and unloved in the eyes of your wife and her family. In that case you would be unaware of how much you truly do care what others think of you. So that would indicate a lack of awareness. Hmmmm. that sounds like two sides of the same coin. Anyway, your lack of motivation to change yourself is puzzling to me. I can see no benefit in continuing to torture that child with full awareness that you are doing it. Obviously there is some benefit to you. I don't see it. Care to share more about that? I can't help but see a strong parallel between how you describe your life and how Katy (The Fountainhead) describes herself to her uncle after she perfects selflessness and finds herself completely unhappy. She says she doesn't know a single person who is selfless that is happy. Do you know the passage I am referring to? Ellsworth then proceeds to pound her further into the ground. (That's like you and your dream baby.) What a difference it would have been if Katy had put on Roark's hat and decided to say "Fuck this shit, I'm going to live for myself. I'm just going to enjoy life. Here's what I see as the ideal life for me and I'm going for it. I'm worthy, wanted and loved by myself just because I am alive and aware of my virtues." What a difference that may make in your life. "Love is the involuntary response to virtue." S. Molyneux And I have always wanted to add to his statement that it includes self-love.

Thanks for sharing. There is a lot in the situation you describe that relates to the recurring dream even though you did not mention it IMO. I'm going to jump right in and give some feedback here. But first, my disclaimer. It is only one person's opinion created through reasoning but without scientific proof. I'm trying to get better at dream interpretation and will want to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. TIA. The representation of the baby in your hand that you are crushing and torturing over and over seems clear. It is you self attacking and keeping yourself small. If you think of the baby as a new idea about yourself that could and would grow over time to become a permanent part of your meco system, you can see that the image of it being small and you torturing it would be indicative of your self torture and conscious sabotage of bringing out your best to the world. You will want to look to your childhood to find out the origin of that destructive trait. Also, based on your story above, this is likely a reflection of the fact you are aware you are "different and unique". A dream recurs because the thoughts surrounding it recur. So I feel pretty safe in saying that you put yourself down on a regular basis. You feel unworthy, unwanted, unloved. The dream will stop recurring when you recognize this and ACT ON IT. It seems that you have recognized your self-attack/self-sabotage or you wouldn't be aware that the baby is you. The missing part is acting on this information and doing something to change it. That takes some courage. Go for it. The You that dresses up as the woman and then recognizes yourself could actually be you reaching that point of finding motivation to act on changing the self attacks. Persons of the opposite sex in general would represent your inner or subconscious thoughts. So taking that idea into consideration, the woman dressed and looking awesome would be you looking inward and reflecting on who you are and recognizing that you really do have a lot of fantastic qualities that could be displayed in your life. That can be a big motivator to get past the fear illustrated by the self-attack. Focus on the beauty you recognize in yourself. Focus only on that. Focus only on the Fountainhead. If you look outward and try to do it for anyone other than yourself or see that someone might judge you, someone might ridicule your ideas, someone might take advantage of you, etc, that is when you will self-attack and shut down that beautiful butterfly trying to emerge. You will again try to merge into normality and blend with the crowd, crushing, torturing and suffocating your greatness. I say again in another way, don't rely on the prostitutes to tell you what a lovely man you are. Find the loveliness inside yourself, grab onto it, hold onto it for dear life and don't ever give it away to something outside of yourself. Hope this helps and thank you for sharing your beautiful story. P.S. you might want to read or re-read The Fountainhead.

Hi Walt, I'm sorry you have had and are having such a hard time. And I'm incredibly appreciative and even a little envious of your courage. Thank you so much for sharing.

Jake, can we Skype again this evening? PM the time. I'll be there.

I have huge issues with the current medical system and the way I counter it is that I don't depend on their opinions as my only guide to making choices. If it were me, I would be on the internet researching everything I could find on whatever you have been diagnosed with. Not so much on what YOU think you have. I would be researching everything I could find on Wellbutrin if that is what was prescribed. I would be looking at WebMD and pharmaceutical advertisements along with articles in alternative publications. I would talk to others who have been on medication. I would talked to those who chose not to use medication. I would talk to those who were once on and are now not on or were off and are now back on. In a nutshell, I would do my own research. It is empowering to make your own informed choices. Go to your appointments armed with information and be prepared to ask questions. Listen carefully to the answers. Are they simply spouting the pharmaceutical line or do they actually have specific, empirical results that they can talk about? What are the results? Are their results what you are interested in as a result? Just because there are results does not mean that it is what you are looking for. Also, sometimes therapists have to practice CYA and are required by regulations to recommend other consults and treatments. Or at the very least to have documentation evidence that they covered all bases. And if you are not prepared for the psych Dr, you will likely get the Rx whether you need it or not -- though you still have choice about whether to fill it and take it. Good luck. Hope this helps and kudos for the therapy.

Hi Jake, Hope all is going well with family. I'm not into rap much so I just read it as poetry. Loved it. Also love Bob Seger. Not sure if he is still touring, but I saw him live in Nashville, TN in 1980 on his Against the Wind tour. The sax player was incredible as was Bob on the piano. Extremely talented man and a wonderful band. Still in my memory as my favorite concert. Would love to hear your style with some Seger influence.

I did not find anything on singing. My personal experience is my whole body electrical field seems to come into sharper focus. Kind of like hitting a tuning fork on the side of a plate of iron filings. Have you seen that and how the iron forms shapes according to the tone of the turning fork? Also, I can channel emotional energy like water rushing through a release valve on a dam. Just a quick experience I had last night. I was talking to my sister about my dad's physical condition. He is 87 and dying of kidney failure and going on dialysis soon. I was explaining his situation and what to expect and she said something like "oh yeah, you know everything don't you?" We went on talking and she was saying to me that she did not think that it had been decided which treatment plan he was going to have (there are 3). I asked her if she had read the literature that he got from going to a class about dialysis. She had not. I told her I had and also had looked up late stage kidney failure on the internet. So I proceeded to tell her that the treatment plan had been decided whether he wanted to admit it or not based on the preliminary procedure he is scheduled for in a few weeks. I told her exactly what was going to happen and why. She just cut me off and said she had to go pick up her grandson at school. Which she likely did, but normally she would just get in the car and keep talking. Anyway the point to the story is that for the first time in my life, after I got off the phone with her, I felt no guilt at my intelligence. She had the same opportunity that I did to investigate the illness and educate herself on the process. She didn't and I did, therefore I know more than she does about it. So when she spoke with sarcasm about my "knowing all about it" I said yes I had looked it up and read everything I could find on it. No guilt. Yippee. First time in my life not feeling guilty about being smarter than her. Sorry for the off topic rant but I'm elated. Let me know if you find anything about singing and the brain.

I'm interested as well. And also, how to use that movie tool to reinforce some ideas and bring light to what is productive and what is not. I think even if I don't agree with a movie "theme" it can be used as information in "how some people are" and how and why other behaviors align with a code of ethics and produce a desired outcome.

My very first podcast about 2 months or so ago contained a similar story. Unfortunately, when I was very young I had to get beat up by my husband a few times to realize that I was waiting for someone to tell me what to do and I was severely deficient in making even the smallest common sense decisions. I worked my way out of it over 25 years or so to the point that I could actually make enough money to live on comfortably. Along the way I developed my dream and for the last 14 years have been building it. I'm excited about adding the podcast as a sideline which has little to do with building my dream and everything to do with leaving the world a better place. I just remembered something. I only got ahead each time a man "white knighted" me and helped me get a different job up until I was 30. That was twice. One was a superintendent on a construction job I was working. He got me a job in another state away from my abusive husband. And then my dad got me a job interview with the aerospace division of GM that really set my future career path. So getting to the place where I was living comfortably required a man to do it for me. Sad. Anyway, after that I thought I went out completely on my own and only made my own choices. Really I was dependent on the non-profit organization I was involved with to "help" me make decisions. I spent 15 more years struggling and making some really bad decisions. I made some good ones too. I got to the point where I actually achieved stability in my relationships with people (happily married now) and began building my dream. I don't know that there is an answer except keep putting one foot in front of the other and be ready when a door opens. I know some people plan their lives out and follow that plan. Mine has been just one step and another and another. I never knew where I was going. I do now but I didn't recognize it until I was 45 years old. I'm 59 now and actually have had a (general) plan for the last 14 years. It's coming to fruition in less than 2 years if all continues as planned. One thing I will say is that, during the 15-year struggle into making my own decisions, I gained a lot from studying intensely the metaphysics of the mind (including the spiritualist perspective), meditation, and self-help books to really understand myself. I'm not recommending that here as this forum is designed for logic and reasoning only. Just mentioning it as it was central to me getting to a place of being able to realize my dreams. I would do it again with few changes, but here I would recommend therapy -- self-therapy at the very least and meditation to connect with your dream regularly. Allow it the space to grow. Water it daily. Feed it regularly. And be ready to address growth spurts and a few pests and diseases along the way. You'll likely have to pull lots of weeds. It takes time and attention to grow your dreams. Stef's podcast has been the icing on the cake. I started listening a few months ago. I have gained additional self-respect and did get motivated to bring my experiences to the world. I started my podcast in an effort to reach other young girls that are having the same struggles I did and to give them another perspective to consider. I'm just starting out and don't really know where the podcast will lead. I'm just sharing my experiences and trying to pass along some "wisdom" from experience that will reduce the number of children born into adverse conditions -- and if they already have children, to really drive home peaceful parenting. No one can do it for you but hopefully we can inspire you to just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.