Jaeger

Hello FDR, My name is Paul and a father of eight children with one wife. This week we will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary. I'm excited about the concept of peaceful parenting. I have reflected a lot about how I have parented the last 16 1/2 years and am excited to learn more. I'm 45 and my wife is 38 and we have 3 boys and 5 girls ranging in age from 16 yrs. to 4 mo. I was raised for the most part by peaceful parents. I can count on one hand the number of times I was spanked as child. The punishment that was given most was a time-out and spanking was given usually for something really bad like where another person was hurt or destruction of property. My mom was raise by a verbally abusive father and she was always looking for other ways of parenting so as not to parent us the way she was. As I got older into my preteen and teenage years It was my dad who did the disciplining. His favorite was using reason with us. At the time I hated it and wished he just tell us what to do or use "real discipline". It was not until I started watching some of Stefan's videos did I realize how lucky I was. I have an ACE score of 0 (1 if you want to count the spanking, even if they didn't hurt.) My parents were and are devout Mormons but never pushed us into going to church if we didn't want to as teenagers. Most of my teenage years I never really went to church. Now I'm married to a devout Mormon and I now go to church fairly often so I guess the religious gene wins in the end. I was never told If I don't go to church I would go to Hell or anything stupid like that. I would never say that to my kids. My problem as a parent came after going to boot camp in 2000. I now catch myself wanting to yell like my drill instructor instead of using reason like my father. I can't say I yell all the time but enough to make me cringe. It seems like I'm always having to apologize to my wife and kids for yelling like a sailor. I also wonder if genetically I take after my maternal grandfather who was verbally abusive. That scares the daylight out of me. My father was my go to mentor on parenting but unfortunately he passed away in 2008 at the age of 79. While I love my mom she is not a father so can not give me a male perspective. I do remember my father telling me before he died that my job as a parent was to be a better father than he was of me. He left me a bar so high I always wonder if I will make it. I have read various books on parenting but never really got excited about it. Something just clicked in my head when listening to Stefan that the way to a stateless society was through peaceful parenting. Now I'm motivated to make a better world. I was first exposed to Stefan and FDR last September when searching anarchism. I have always been libertarian in my views and was fascinated with the concept of no state verses limited state. When I was in high school in the 80's I listen to punk rock and thought of myself as an anarchist but never got my head wrapped around the socialism most of the anarchy movement talked about at the time. I could never understand how there could be no government and that the wealth would magically be redistributed. So when I heard of anarcho-capitalism this last September I said now that's me. Stefan and FDR, you are doing a great service. I will pledge $20 dollars a month. I wish I could give more but I have ten mouths to feed, More if I count the three pet ferrets, but they don't eat very much

I guess it would be abuse depending on what you mean by "indoctrinating" . If it means teaching your kids about Christianity, and why you believe, then no it's not abuse. If it means forcing your kids to go to church or else face a consequence then I think it can be abusive. Obviously if you and your wife are church going, and you have underage kids, you have to take them or CPS will show up and rip you a new one for leaving them home alone. However if you have kids that are old enough to stay home and they don't want to go to church don't force them. just use common sense.

Me and my wife had 5 of our 8 children at home with a midwife. The midwife encouraged me to take an active part in the birthing process for which I'm so grateful. There is a special bond that develops between me, my wife and the infant at the moment of birth that is very hard to explain. I highly recommend doing a natural birth at home or in the hospital. All I have to say the more you do as a father the better it is. I was able to catch a few of the babies myself which is an experience all of itself. As far as them being religious I wouldn't sweat it. They aren't there to convert you just help you have a healthy baby. I wish you and your wife good luck.