S1988

Excellent point made, especially about kids who have a few friends. I can relate to that situation since I've been a loner since childhood mostly because I was an outcast who was picked on a lot. Even as recently as a few years ago, I was scolded for not being outgoing, which is part of the reason why I have no relationship with my mother or other family members. If some kids prefer to keep to themselves, don't see it as an issue that needs remedying; some are outgoing, and some are not, and that's fine. Speaking of the importance of non-relative companions, this is something seniors should adhere to as well. There are some older people who think their adult children should be responsible for keeping them from being lonely. Adult children have the right to live their own lives, not be at their parent(s)' beck and call. This also relates to my mother who would act if she can't live without me when she wasn't scolding me. Her main companions are my older siblings, the golden kids.

I'm not male, but I'm an avid reader. I have some recommendations that don't target boys exclusively, but boys may like them. Goosebumps books A Series of Unfortunate Events Choose Your Own Adventure books Maybe some Charles Dickens books if they don't object to old literature. (Actually, there's one book series in mind that's boy-friendly, and as a female I enjoy them: The Adventures of Tintin. It's a comic book series, but I don't think one should consider them lowly just because they're comic books. It counts as reading to me.)

That would depend on the individual. There are those who come from dysfunctional families, but don't see their families as dysfunctional. Therefore, they continue to pass on their genes while continuing the abusive cycle. My family members fit this example. Then, there are others who acknowledge their family members were (and still are) abusive, and make a conscious decision to end the cycle by not having kids. That example describes me. On the other hand, some people from healthy families have kids, and other people from healthy families that don't.

But, what if some kids aren't very social? Is non-social behavior an issue that should be "fixed"? As a semi-hermit loner, I don't see it as a problem. I take umbrage to the view that extroversion=good and introversion/loner behavior=bad. When I was a kid, I used my loner behavior as a coping mechanism to shield myself from bullies, but the adults were more concerned about my quiet behavior than me being bullied, and shamed me for it. Once, when I was 12 years old, I was on a charter bus on a class trip reading a book. Then, one of the chaperones sat a kid in a seat next to me and said, "Now you have someone to talk to." It was obvious she didn't care whether I wanted to talk to someone or not. When I was 16 one day after school, I told my mother that I sat alone at lunch, and she threatened to take me to a therapist. She didn't carry out her threat, thank goodness. Even now, I still received flak for not being outgoing, but at least it's easier to escape from now than it was during my childhood. It's a real pet peeve for me when some people see quiet/loner behavior as a problem when it isn't one. Who's being harmed when one wants to keep to themselves? I wonder if worries about loners stem from crazy myths such as loners being serial killers. The serial killers I've learned about weren't loners. They usually had families and coached kids' sports, things many loners don't do. Emily Dickinson was a loner, and as far as I know, she didn't kill anyone, and I haven't killed anyone. I'm not sure why being non-social is seen as a bad thing. As a matter of fact, I've been harmed more by those who tried to "cure" me or take advantage of me than my loner lifestyle. Also, I feel that my loner lifestyle has more pros than cons. I can do what I want, when I want with very few obligations. Since I don't go out very much, I'm less likely a target for so-called friends. Plus, I have the freedom to be myself without judgement or derision because I'm somewhat of an eccentric person. Excuse me for going a bit off-topic. This thread was about education, but I feel I had to give my two cents when socialization was mentioned. My advice is that if you have a kid or know someone who's not very chummy, let them be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to stay home instead of going out to a party or reading a book instead of hobnobbing. Don't fix an "issue" that isn't one. It's funny how some people are bothered by the fact that others don't want to be bothered. I'm not bashing extroversion, but I despise how that's seen as "better" or "healthier". Outgoing/quiet aren't good or bad, just different.