S1988

In other words, even if one can defend themselves, it doesn't mean it's okay to hurt them to begin with.

I never said adults couldn't be hurt by lies. That was Drew Davis, not me. I believe lies can hurt adults, even if they can defend themselves. Examples include slander/libel and being lured into a scam. True, they can take action to clear their name or try to get their money back, but those procedures are complete headaches. I should know because I've been hurt by lies from people I trusted, like being tricked into scams and the time when I needed help from my mother, whom I was estranged from for a while, turned me into her personal indentured servant even though she claimed to love me for who I am. I was able to get away eventually, and now I know that I can never trust her no matter how much she hoovers. Also, consider adults who can't defend themselves like many elderly people and those with special needs. Their physical/mental vulnerability makes them easy prey for those who want to take advantage of them.

Yes, I do.

What about lying to spare someone's feelings? Like, if a close friend of yours cooks a dish you find disgusting, but you don't want to tell them outright because you care for them. On the other hand, you don't want to tell them it's the best thing you've ever tasted because they'll make more of it and you'll dread mealtimes with them. Not sure if it's a huge lie, but you could say something such as, "That dish isn't my cup of tea," even if the dish is the worst you'll ever tasted. Another example is telling someone that everything is fine when it isn't if you have a problem, but you want to solve it yourself because you don't want them to fuss over you and give you unsolicited help.

You haven't heard of my two older siblings then. They were raised Christian as kids and still are today. (Then, again, they're practically her brainwashed henchmen who don't question anything she does, which is why they're her favorites.) I come from a fundamentalist Christian background, and I started to question it in my teens. I became atheist when I was a senior in high school, but my mother didn't take too kindly to it and tried to force me to believe for a few years until she backed off a bit. (I guess she was tired of me resisting and gave up.)

Are you open to working from home? Even though I mentioned earlier that some customer service employers require degrees, not all do. Plus, since you're disabled, working from the comfort of your home makes it easier on your body. You also said that you're a social person. Perhaps, you can help customers with product or service issues. How do you feel about that? Another idea is going to a trade school for a vocation certificate, either a brick-and-mortar school or online.

Most jobs require paid experience, which is a Catch-22 because it's tough to obtain experience in a certain niche when an employer won't hire you unless you have experience. When it comes to degrees, requiring a degree for a job that isn't covered in a university is the trend these days, and a ridiculous one at that. Even some customer service jobs require degrees, a fact that makes it hard to take colleges seriously. Sometimes, I wonder if fast food and retail would require a degree in the near future, which would make it difficult for teens to get their first job. I hope you succeed in finding your desired occupation.

I think while children can exacerbate a problematic marriage, they're not the main cause. It's mainly because there's dysfunction in a relationship to begin with, such as an abusive partner or two people who get along okay, but don't have much in common. Sadly, some couples have babies since they assume that children will solve all of their problems, which is definitely a horrible reason to have kids. A baby isn't a panacea to issues; as a matter of fact, bringing a baby in the world for the wrong reasons only increases issues because the problems are still there, plus you have an extra mouth to feed. Since there are issues between you and your partner, you both have two choices: get counseling or break up. If you're afraid of your relationship deteriorating when it seems to be shaky already, why dump your issues on your prospective kids? Sometimes, it's better to not have kids at all than to have them grow up in a dysfunctional family.

I'm not sure. Perhaps the meaning behind avant-garde art works is subjective. Or, it's weird for its own sake.

Why should one pursue a career that causes them stress, even if it's more "respectable?" Besides, what's a good career and what isn't is something only the individual can decide, not anyone else. I think it's better for someone to not have kids than to have children without giving it any careful thought. When it comes to bringing a new life in the world, that's not something to be treated with levity. Even some kids themselves can pick up on the fact that their parents never wanted them to begin with. In the book Mean Mothers, author Peg Streep described how when she was three or four years old, she knew that her mother didn't want her because her mother would cringe when she tried to kiss or hug her. Other kids grow up being told by their parents how much they hate them and wish they were never born. Some parents admit that they only had children because their parents wanted to become grandparents. People should only become parents because they want to and have the resources to provide for children, not because they feel they have to. About significant others: Some people avoid committed relationships because they're afraid to end up with a possessive abuser. Others feel that such relationships are akin to adult babysitting and prefer to keep to themselves or only engage in platonic relationships. There are other risks like divorce, which is very expensive, or having a spouse become laid off or disabled, and you have to take on extra work to provide for the both of you. If kids are involved, what if one of you were to pass away, and one person is left to raise kids alone? As long as no one is being hurt or feel like they're required to live a certain way, why make someone's private life your business?

That's a very thought-provoking question. In my opinion, whether personal happiness is a good thing or not depends on the individual. Personal happiness is a good thing as long as it's something someone wants to do and it doesn't exploit others. The arsonist situation you brought up is a great example of how one's personal happiness isn't a good thing. On the other hand, the pizza delivery driver may be happy with his life because he likes delivering pizzas and has a great relationship with his parents. At least he has a job and isn't mooching off of them. The flip side could be that he's miserable because his parents treat him like their personal slave, and he can't afford to leave because they're taking some of his money for their uses. The accountant may be happy because he enjoys his occupation and his family. On the other hand, he may feel depressed because he became an accountant and got married only because he felt he had to as a result of family/society pressure. Maybe he wants to stay single and travel the world, but is afraid to disappoint his parents. Personally, I don't like it when people tell me what I should and shouldn't value. I keep to myself a lot, and that sometimes attracts the attention of know-it-all, busybody extroverts who pry into my life and tell me to be more outgoing. It's not like I tell them to be less social and stay home and read a book once in a while. I don't know why some of them feel like they know what's best for me better than I do. How I live isn't harming me or anyone else. Some people are just nosy, control freaks. All in all, that's my two cents.

I was a little surprised that you were talking about yourself all of this time, but I can see where you're coming from. Sometimes, it's nerve-wracking to talk about you problems. Have you thought about getting a roommate? It's a way for you to save money without living with your mother.

Letting kids get angry at parents or voice their opinions are also good ways for them to stand up to others, even to authority figures. After all, being in charge doesn't mean you're always right. When I was a kid, when I got angry with my mother, I was punished for my "bad attitude." As a result, it made me vulnerable to bullies because I didn't want to appear "mean," which got me scolded for not standing up for myself. Talk about a mixed message. You can't punish a child for showing anger or disagreeing with you, and then wonder why they struggle with standing up for themselves. Now, it's a bit easier because I'm grown up, so no one can punish me for being "bad" anymore. I even stood up to my family, the ultimate bullies, by cutting them out. I continue to learn ways to defend myself, especially against those who think just because I'm quiet and keep to myself a lot, that I need some kind of "help."

It can happen the other way around, too, that they weren't allowed to grow up. In some cases, like mine, it was a bit of both: sometimes I was the bad child, other times I was the substitute psychologist.

I admit I do have very few memories of my babyhood, something I probably should have mentioned earlier, but none of them were traumatizing. They involved me doing something silly or gross like dancing to music in my crib, playing with my toys, or puking on my sister's pillow. Other than those, I have no other memories of my infanthood and nothing of my toddlerhood. Perhaps some people have stronger memories than others. I've heard of cases about people who didn't remember their lives before age 17, which befuddles me since teen years are more "recent" than infant years. My strongest memories exist between age four and the present. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to remember what was going on before my parents separated and eventually divorced. (I kind of already know anyway from "therapy sessions" with my mother, with me being the "therapist.") I have enough to deal with concerning my current memories. I don't know. First, it's out of my price range, and second, I'm not sure if I'll be successful in find a psychologist who doesn't want to "fix" me.

But, how can events in my babyhood/toddlerhood affect me even though I don't have memories of being that young? Things I do remember have more of an effect on me than things I don't remember, like being picked on during my K-12 years because they were more "recent."

I've never seen a psychologist, but I've read about mental health issues online. I know depression is a mental health issue that involves seeing no point in living, and that doesn't apply to me. I don't feel dead inside all the time. Anxiety: While everyone has something they worry about, it doesn't get to the point where I can't function. Inferiority Complex: Not sure if this is a mental health issue, but I do have this as a result of being demonized when making mistakes while being expected to understand theirs. Now, when I make a blunder, I remind myself that mistakes are opportunities to learn and that being human isn't something that's only reserved for others and not for me. Schizoid: This is debatable. While some medical literature say this is an issue, I don't think it is because I like being alone. It allows me to be myself and do things on my own time instead of on someone else's time. What bothers me are busybodies who shame me for living a lifestyle that hurts no one and want to fix a "problem" that isn't one. I don't like it when people act as if they know what's best for me better than I do even when they're 90 percent off the mark.

Do certain questions apply to my ACE score if I have no memory of what happened? The questions about my mother being in an abusive relationship and someone using drugs in the home happened when I was too young to be aware of what was going on. I didn't know about my parents' addictions until my early 20s and I have vague memories of my brother's addiction problems. If I take those away, my ACE score would be a 3. If I count them in, it'd be a 5. I learned that anyone with a score of 5 or over are at great risk of health/mental issues. I wonder if that explains why in spite of insecurities I struggle with, I don't (and never had) addiction nor chronic health problems.

Monarchs, like all people, are humans, not deities. Therefore, they should be open to criticism, and not just for its own sake. Sometimes, pointing out the negative of something is helpful because people can discuss ways to arrive to a solution. If we swept all problems under the rug and pretended nothing's wrong, then they can exacerbate. In my opinion, a country that's not allowed to criticize its leaders isn't a free one at all. Besides, I have more respect for leaders (and other people) who aren't afraid to admit flaws than those who act as if they don't have any.

Well, there are countries like Thailand where it's actually a criminal offense to criticize the monarchy.

Sounds like something my family would say, except they couldn't care less about giving up corporal punishment.

Actually, I think I'm starting to see what you mean. Social media is a type of electronic communication that allows users to discuss ideas and share content such as videos and web links. People can do that in forums, so they're not much different than platforms like Facebook and Twitter.

How are forums like social media? I always thought social media was only akin to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Good point. And that fact is quite sad because forums allow people to discuss thoughts and ideas without sacrificing anonymity. With social media, it's hard to protect privacy since many social media accounts require your real name. That's why I'm not on social media because I've read horror stories about people who got accounts hacked or were stalked by people they didn't want in their lives. (Shudder!) Too many headaches and risks for me.

I assume that they're busy with other aspects in their lives. Some of the older members are parents, and they can't spend hours on the computer since they have kids to raise.