J-William

I don't get the point. Why would you want to tell some dangerous psychopaths with guns that claim to be a "government" that you don't respect their authority? I don't go telling local thugs what I think of their street gang, so why would I bother with a bigger more dangerous group of thugs?

Sounds like there isn't much choice here, and you know where there's no choice there's no morality... Also, dontcha think there are more important topics to discuss than an apocalyptic fantasy? like maybe the question of why you personally are a big fan of apocalyptic fantasies?

Just my experience of seeing your interaction with others in this thread; I feel an acute displeasure. Do you think it is immoral to cause displeasure in other people?

What's a border?

I'd be worried if I agreed with the ADL on anything...

I don't think there's any part of your body that needs to please someone in an arbitrary position of "authority". Alice Miller wrote a book called "The Body Never Lies", and I tend to agree with that title. I'm having a hard time really figuring this out (I think because of my history). My emotional reaction is all over the map, I feel your anxiety... and yet I think there's something about being a good employee that you're missing. Have you listened to FDR podcasts on the subject of work and career? I think Stef has some very useful things to say about negotiations and the value you bring to an employer. If you jump to another job without figuring out what's not working here it will be a crap-shoot as to whether you end up in a good place, or a lousy place. ok... You know what it is, after rereading what you wrote, you sound very passive. You just talk about things happening to you. I know how that is, I called it "going with the flow" in highschool, and still have problems with it. Based on my own experience I would guess you did not have very good guidance from your parents, but had severely and randomly enforced "rules". You've coasted through your life bouncing off of dangerous people and avoiding upsetting them in any way you can so you could make it safely to the next day. Is that more or less accurate? In places with irrational and dangerous authority figures this is an invaluable coping strategy. In business this coping strategy doesn't work because the authority figures don't want mere compliance, they want you to generate value and show that you are generating value. In my estimation what's happening is you are met with a seeming impossible situation, you have authority figures that are not pleased and they expect something from you. You tried the strategy of compliance and groveling, but it didn't work and the anxiety in your gut is telling you things aren't right. Does any of this ring true for you?

How about "philosophers"? I know it's a radical new term and all

Hey, a public school that teaches questionable content and ideas to impressionable children? But, I don't find the sex to be objectionable... I find that it is a lousy fucking book where "good parents" have a kid who is mysteriously bullied all the time and decides to shoot up a school. But, public schools would have as much use for a book that placed the responsibility for bullying on the parents as they do for an independent child who can think. The only way to be a responsible parent is to keep your kids as far away from anyone willing to use force and compulsion as you can.

I can only hope for the day when child genital mutilators are all treated equally.

That's hilarious... the official stats show unemployment going down gradually, and shadowstats shows unemployment 3 1/2 times higher and going up! Government is stupid...

I did not bother looking into what Stef looked like in his youth before seeing this thread... but I am glad I clicked on it. The light hair and big chin remind me of Kristoff from Frozen, so adorable! (why yes I do have a kid who has watched "Frozen" many times, why do you ask?)

wait, you mean you call shovels shovels? or you call something else shovels? Or um... do the british not call them shovels? Anyhow... Stef has made the point that the world wars were dumb ideas for America to enter, but damn it's a complete waste for Australia and NZ to fight in Europe. My answer to your question is that sounds wonderful, I think I'll quote you when veteran's day comes around in the US... or should I say "retired killers day". I guess I could also do that on memorial day AKA killed killers day... I need people to defriend me on teh facebooks.

nodoz is readily available and contains 200mg of caffeine. So that's probably not a reason to prefer cocaine... also... interesting story, I had a friend in highschool who would crush caffeine pills and snort them like cocaine... he only did that because there is some similarity to cocaine.

That's quality women right there! ick!

I have a feeling that the footprints might have been partially real. I mean I think my father may have used some glow-in-the-dark stickers on the wall or the ceiling as part of telling the story... and then when I was sick and having very vivid fever dreams they were magnified into footprints all along the ceiling. He did a marvelous job of preparing me for bullies, I was such a nervous wreck I was still wetting my pants in elementary school. I believe the house we were living in was a single story house. I have a very fuzzy memory of footprints in the hall.

hmm, so you say that she had lot's of friends, but at the same time you don't think she's motivated by anxiety over other people's opinions. I could believe that she wasn't motivated by the opinions of others if she had no friends. Sorry I wasn't clear about the social environment question, but I meant as an adult. Was she a social butterfly, a pillar of the church and community, a lady who lunched... what kind of people and social classes did she involve herself with?

Holy shit man! I am sorry for your awful childhood, it's amazing you got out of that and are still able to function. That's quite an accomplishment! I don't think you want to be having one night stands, it's not healthy or smart to reinforce habits of emotional distance and non-attachment with women who might accidentally get pregnant. You do not want to be stuck in an 18 year relationship with a girl you can't stand for more than one night. I never found that pining over girls was a good thing to do, and looking back now I can see that the girls I was pining for were not as great as I made them out to be in my mind (for instance, one was an alcoholic who has now turned her vast intelligence towards cataloging 17th century English literature or some such academic bullshit)

That's a good catch there, that looks like a parental correction... If I look for evidence of that... there is some compelling evidence like his solution to me wetting the bed was a layer of crinkly plastic that kept me up, a plastic mat that sounded an alarm if it got wet, not throwing out the old dirty mattress until I quit wetting the bed. Those are not empathetic, do they sound sadistic to you? I'm guessing they do because my mind has gone completely foggy. Sadism is joy in the suffering of others... and lack of empathy would be not being aware of others feelings. Shit I can't even add 2+2 right now

I suspect you're right, I didn't feel comfortable with it at the time... I don't eat crabs, but if I did I'm not sure there is a non-cruel way to do it. Anyhow that was a one time gift from a business associate. Also, back on the main point. I did not include a link for people curious about the article. So here you go http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-child-abuse/201209/how-and-why-writing-heals-wounds-child-abuse also the book mentioned in the article http://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Healing-Expressing-Emotions/dp/1572302380

Ok, you may be right. I really don't know but when talking specifically of a particular incident, let's say the story that Stef has told of his mother beating his head against the door when he was four years old. In that example Stef knows generally why she did it, but I don't recall him ever going into trying to find out why exactly she got so angry at him running away. I think there's value in knowing the lay of the land and why generally your parents acted as they did. (My father had a lot of anger at his dad in his teens and 20s, but repressed it and became a photocopier of his dad. My mother married a non-catholic because she didn't like her catholic family, but she treated me coldly and distantly like her own mother not even really hugging me til I was like 22 at which point it was just awkward). I'm still not sure on this... so I think the best way to answer my question is to get to the bottom of Avalanche's question and see if that helps him So, Avalanche, can you tell us about your mother's childhood? and her relationship with her parents? What was her social environment like? did she have lots of friends, was she very pretty? How big was she relative to your brother at the age of 12? Ok, you may be right. I really don't know but when talking specifically of a particular incident, let's say the story that Stef has told of his mother beating his head against the door when he was four years old. In that example Stef knows generally why she did it, but I don't recall him ever going into trying to find out why exactly she got so angry at him running away. I think there's value in knowing the lay of the land and why generally your parents acted as they did. (My father had a lot of anger at his dad in his teens and 20s, but repressed it and became a photocopier of his dad. My mother married a non-catholic because she didn't like her catholic family, but she treated me coldly and distantly like her own mother not even really hugging me til I was like 22 at which point it was just awkward). I'm still not sure on this... so I think the best way to answer my question is to get to the bottom of Avalanche's question and see if that helps him So, Avalanche, can you tell us about your mother's childhood? and her relationship with her parents? What was her social environment like? did she have lots of friends, was she very pretty? How big was she relative to your brother at the age of 12?

sure taxation is different than theft. All taxation is theft, not all theft is taxation.

I wonder... I don't think I've ever thought real hard about why my parents did what they did. Is it really a value? I can see it as a value if you are telling your child that they shouldn't conform, but you hit your child because your anxiety about conforming. So I can see the importance of understanding your own behavior, but then what value is there in understanding why your parents hit you when you were a kid?

Welcome I think it is very interested that you mentioned feeling very empty and at the same time your post is very empty. What I mean is that you have told us nothing about yourself. You have not told us what experiences you had that might have led you to where you are in life. You've not told us about your goals other than in the most abstract fashion. Please tell us a little bit more about yourself, I would really like to help if I can.

My goodness is she 12 years old? Does she not know how to write better than that? I'm not saying you should break up with your family because they can't use the English language well. But she doesn't even care enough about sending you bitchy text messages to make sure that she's doing a good job of communicating. I still think it's worth it to have a talk with your parents about how you feel and what you think and problems you have with them and with how you were treated as a child. Because it can tell you lots about where you are in the process of self-knowledge. I doubt you're going to have a very positive relationship with your mother in future, but maybe it's possible.

Wow what a way to make it all about her. She can just talk to you about it to help you out a little bit? I'm sure she was very hard done by, I mean it's a real challenge to beat up on little boys. I don't think that it's PTSD that is keeping your mother up nights, I think it's called a guilty conscience. I'm really sorry your mother can't put aside her own discomfort to help you out and make your life better. Did she not have sleepless nights when you were a baby? My parents would often yell about me not waking up when they wanted me to wake up, but they were more passive aggressive verbal abusers. Your mother clearly lacks judgment, because beating up one of your kids while a very young kid watches is going to do a lot of damage to both kids. Conveniently enough that kind of behavior got her one very compliant son, because you got how dangerous your mother could be. That probably wasn't in her conscious calculations of what she was doing but I'm sure it was a result that she appreciated.