MysterionMuffles

Thanks! Hmm good point. There are several different ways to guage somebody's level of self respect, but when it comes to say...comedians, insults is how they guage it. Roasts are popular because the person getting roasted has enough self respect and self esteem to be able to take the onslaught of insults coming from several other comedians. It's a strange ritual that I used to take part in, where my friends and I roasted each other to see how well we can take each other's shit in a voluntary exchange, very much like an MMA fight. There's some pain involved, but because it's voluntary, you come to expect it and are ready to make your retorts. It's a way to strengthen each other so that when it comes to facing off with other people who may insult you, who you DO NOT like, you'd be well equipped to fight back. Not that any of that is neccessary, obviously stay away from shitty people. Check out this roast of Justin Bieber, though, to see what I mean. He doesn't take himself seriously to cry about what these people are saying because minus the insults, they have respect for his talents and success. I don't neccessarily agree with how dark some of these jokes get, but I can understand how much mental defense one would have to put up to deflect it. It's like preparing him to take the insults from people who hate on him on social media. It's the cleverness and irony of the joke that would force him to come up with his own retorts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX39cT9X09c They're all successful and famous celebrities who have taken the criticism of millions around the world, and are now more or less repeating some of that criticism, heightening it, and spreading it amongst themselves in a non-serious way to show that mere clever words don't hurt them. To me, it's all understandable, but I'm still working out whether or not I condone it or see if it's even a healthy thing to do. Just entertaining the idea without accepting it, but striving to understand it.

Yeah it's a test of egos. If you take yourself too seriously and get hurt, it might mean you are either too insecure or your friends didn't time the insult well. Or even thought it out well. Lol funny example btw. To simplify, I think we could use "tease" for a playful joke at someone's expense, and use insult for a hurtful joke at someone's expense. The difference lies in to what degree someone cares about the content of the insult, like being made fun of for liking Barry Manilow or something. I very much like the idea of verbal sparring, it's akin to debate sparring I do with my friends. It's all in good fun and for the purpose of understanding each other better instead of undermining each other. Knowing when to cross a line or not is a strange strange way to get to know someone better, even in terms of telling visceral poop and sex jokes around someone to see if they can tolerate it. When it comes to offensive joke, whether it's at the expense of someone in your presence or just some abstract entity (like making fun of blonde chicks in a general sense), telling jokes is a safe and playful way to find out what people can take. If you're empathetic, you'd either stray away from certain topics or take the time to understand why it hurts them. If not, then sure, that can be construed as bullying to continue insulting someone for something you know hurts them.

It's also a testing of boundaries, to see how much each guy takes themselves seriously. Whoever does the insulting also has to deal with the consequences of hitting the wrong nerve and learn to stay off certain topics for insult.

#butthurt that I made better arguments than you on your own position. #FallacyFallacyAllDay

Hmm, well I'll keep probing the subject through the citations to get a better understanding article before I form a fully coherent response to yous guys. Particularly the study they linked, when I get the chance to read the full paper, I will see what else I can learn about shyness at least according to those scientists, and see how it matches up or diverges from what I've come to understand through the psychologists that Stef has interviewed.

What about determinists who have all the determination in the world to succeed? Not that I know of any, just wondering if that's a possibility. That's the ONE thing I want to be shown. A determinist whose determination means something. The determinists that come on here are only a small sample of people and tend to fit the description you gave, and I'm starting to see the pattern in them. It makes me wonder if there are any who aren't just determinists to excuse their apathy and lethargy. Not an argument. I would say you haven't done a good job because you just commit the fallacy fallacy all day. Instead of being fixated on how I pre-suppose the answer in my questions, try to answer it within the context of the question. Learn to entertain the idea, it doesn't mean you accept it. Take for an easy example: Does accepting determinism require me to think about it logically and of my own volition? I would imagine, a deterministic counter argument in the context of that question would go as such: But that hasn't happened yet, and if I may be so bold as to speak determnistically for a moment--it never will because I choose not to accept it! DUN DUN DUN!!! BONUS EXAMPLE: {Why} is it important to determine if determinism is true and free will is false? If you accepted determinism, you would be achieving your goals much more prominently, and surrendering control to the whims of the universe and your higher reasoning without daring to doubt it! But I digress...I'm embarassed that I'm actually arguing with myself better than you have been with me. I obviously don't believe any of that, and they may not even be the best arguments for determinism, but they sure as hell more convincing than anything you've said thus far, neeeel.

Maybe it's because your answers usually have nothing to do with what I ask, as with the case of your post. You already know I've accepted that change is possible in a deterministic paradigm, so why are you telling me stuff I already know? I didn't say anything about lack of action and stewing in your own shit, you're operating under my outdated understanding of determinism and still not answering about the benefit of me accepting determinism, why I haven't accepted it as of yet, how I'm supposed to accept it, and how you've come to accept it or if you've always been a determinist.

Stole the words right out of my...hands.

No, but it does chip away at it because: Why debate with someone who believes in free will if you don't think that they can control their thoughts, let alone observe them consciously? Are thoughts really random and out of our control? If so, then why haven't I accepted determinism yet? Does accepting determinism require me to think about it logically and of my own volition? Or is there supposed to be an argument I am destined to hear that will hit all the right gears in my head? And if I do accept determinism, then what? {Why} is it important to determine if determinism is true and free will is false? How do I benefit from that? How do you? How did YOU come to accept determinism? Were you always deterministic or did it require some rigorous thought? If so, how is that not free will and of your own volition? Educate me, neeeel and Natasha. Help me understand it. Answer all of the above as they are my most pertinent questions about it. I'm ready to stop defending free will and instead open myself up to arguments for determinism. Doesn't mean I'm looking to be convinced, just educated.

"Discussions."

This is more about the evolutionary function of shyness, which is to express preference for one's own trusted tribe of origin. “Children come with natural instincts to shy away from people that are not in their attachment village and have not been sanctioned by their closest attachments..." "...shyness is an attachment instinct that prevents children from being led by people outside of their village of connection." One could argue that good parenting and socializing well with your children would breed children that are inherently outgoing. But I think despite how much you socialize your children, they still need to be weary of strangers who they can and can not trust, and as the article says, will learn to trust the strangers they see their parents being kind towards. So while some shyness MAY be due to improper parenting, I think it's important to consider this function shyness may play in a child's development. Shyness = expressing preferences of favourite people Fear = response to any shady behaviour on the part of strangers. As I understand it, shyness is the response of children feeling spotted hiding in the bushes, so to speak. When they hide behind their parents, they want to spend time observing how their parents interact with strangers before they draw their conclusions. Children will only truly fear strangers if those strangers exhibit negative behaviour either toward the parents, children, or other people around them, thus confirming their initial shyness response for them to be cautious around them. Given time, and a positive example of the parents communicating with the stranger, children become less shy around them. Here's a study cited in the article, Matt. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51721428_Shyness_Versus_Social_Phobia_in_US_Youth

Every Determinist: "You have no control over your thoughts and actions! I'm gonna argue with you so that you can change your mind about your capacity for volition!"

Very interesting article on the biological and evolutionary purpose of shyness! Very surprising data to me, I thought it had to do with parents failing to socialize with their children or socializing them with extended family, but I was way off. http://macnamara.ca/portfolio/why-shyness-is-not-a-disorder-or-deficit-in-kids/

This has nothing to do with morality, but self respect.

Nice to see some positive results happening around the world! http://www.parent.co/10-insights-of-remarkable-parents-from-a-family-therapist/ Know that kids will act like kids. Set limits with respect, not criticism. Be aware of developmental stage. Know your child's temperament and personality. Give your child plenty of unstructured play time. Know when to talk and when to listen. Have an identity outside of your child. Undertand that actions speak louder than words. Recognize that connection, fun, and creativity are the best ways to promote positive behaviours and co-operative attitudes. Set the overall goal of shaping a child's heart and not just their behaviour.

I have a friend who has an indoor garden, full of pots and plants that he enjoys taking care of. Planting seeds and watering them brings him immense joy. As for me, I don't really care for planting or gardening. I think it's boring and dirty, it's something I would never do, or at least won't at present. But when we're in a conversation and it comes up, I like to ask him about what he enjoys about it, what new vegetables or fruits he's gonna grow next, and what it's like to have such a hobby. And my interest is genuine. I'm not just asking questions for the sake of keeping the conversation going, I genuinely care. Why? Because when people share things with me, their joy is my joy, even if what they're talking about is stuff I won't engage in. Whether it's watching a certain TV show or movie, reading a book, or playing a video game, whatever it is! I sense that certain activities people bring up bring them joy, and I find it to be an incredible opportunity to get to understand that person better. Sometimes I'll listen to a song of a genre or artist I don't really care for, but take the time to appreciate it for a moment to put myself in the shoes of my friends, and we can have great discussions about it without me ever listening to that song again. Other times, giving other people's preferences a chance gets ME to adapt the same interest. Whatever the outcome is, what I think is most important in these instances is giving people the chance to express their joy in their interests. I remember Stefan mention sharing a Pink Floyd song with one of his friends and he felt disappointed that his friend just talked over the song and not even asked him what he liked about it. I can relate. There's one time where I wanted to talk about The Fault in Our Stars and how much it moved me because I have experienced love and loss myself. The story is also about cancer and it reminded me of the grief I experienced a decade ago when a friend of mine died of cancer. This is how much the story means to me and wanted to share that with everyone in a room one time, and one person just kept saying it was "average." Every time I brought up something I enjoyed about it, someone just kept on saying "it was average." With no reason to backing it up, and just saying it didn't do anything for them. Eventually, I confronted this person and expressed how I felt dismissed when he shared his detail lacking opinion on the story. Only after acknowledging his callousness (half sarcasm) did I feel free to continue sharing about it at greater depth than "it was well written. It is a nice story." This has been on my mind for a long time, if anyone has any thoughts on what I like to call The Philosophy of Sharing. When people share their favourite hobbies and interests with you, even in just a conversation as opposed to getting you to experience it with them, I believe that this is the right way to go about it. Yes you can have your opinions because conversations are a two way street, but I think it's optimal to ask the other person's thoughts on something you're not familiar with. I personally think it's a conversation killer to give your opinion and not ask questions in these instances. Not everyone is going to be assertive enough to keep on talking if they're not asked to say more, and not everyone is going to be assertive enough to express their feelings of dismissal. What are your thoughts and experiences with sharing your favourite stuff with people who are not familiar with your interests?

It's funny that you say that even though he starts off basically saying you can't achieve lasting happiness if you get stuff and experience things for the sole purpose of gaining the positive opinion of others.... Did you actually watch the video in full or just had it in the background? He used exploring the world as an example of how to focus on experiences as their own thing as opposed to a story that you need to capture and brag about on social media. The contribution thing on the other hand is a valid point as well. You simply posting on this board is you giving to the philosophical community by sharing your genuine experience of having watched the video, if not fully, which I suspect, but you can correct if I'm wrong. Good addition! Thanks for your input. Man, really sorry for what you've been through, whatever it is. Even without details I can tell it has affected you greatly. I think you're right about wanting to share what you've accomplished, but it needs to be secondary to satisfyig yourself first. No. It is not.

I gotta ask you: What is the longest you've focused on your childhood, and what else was going on in your life in the present? What are your living arrangements like? Do you live at home, alone, with roommates or romantic mate, and what is the integrity of the structure? Like is the house/apartment in good standing or could use some repairs? Do you know anybody without any problems? There's no such thing as a life without problems, that kind of life isn't real. I'm not condoning abuse, but I am for challenges that help us grow and evolve. It's a weird paradox that we want to avoid pain and hardship as much as we can, but when they arise, they help shape us. In my experience, I can say that while there are several things you can be angry about in your childhood, you can't let that stop you from achieving happiness in the present. Especially if you've deFOO'd or are working towards repairing your relationship with your FOO or anyone else who has traumatized you in the past. Yes, work on healing, but also take the time to enjoy yourself and be thankful for the good things that ARE in your life. Otherwise, instead of using your anger to instruct you on what your values are, you let your anger use you. You let it consume every facet of your life, robbing you from the happiness you can have in the now. "He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." - Socrates

I think you can tell A LOT based on what people watch, and even more so, which characters they identify with. What is it about these characters that appeal to you other than them having no problem killing people? Is really more about their beliefs and intelligence? What else?

I guess it ain't a nitpick after all...but a valid and interesting thing to point out, as well as employ for effective communication. Now I feel guilty for using 10 dollar words so much in my reviews lol