LovePrevails

I was told that this video included "A lifetime of take-aways"

Short and sweet, good for propaganda purposes and sharing with democrats

this has very thoroughly been discussed in the psychotherapeutic field actually: Especially by D. Winnicott - it came up in my counselling course https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_object

This is a really important question and I'm glad that you asked about it. I am assuming what would be considered a "good" response is genuine curiosity, "well why do you think you feel like that?" "Is it anything I've done?" "What can I do to help?" .... and so forth I think you're pointing to, what I think, a major drawback of RTR as opposed to other methods and best practices across literature on effective communication which is most people quite simply have no idea what to do when you put them in that situation - even if they really want to help they might have no idea how some of their defensiveness might come entirely out of being clueless out of what to do Not actually having had much experience of having their feelings properly considered, drawn out, explored, quizzed, appraised, searched for implication or having had really authentic connections - having never had any of this modelled to them they might just feel like a deer caught in the headlines most books on effective communication will suggest a little more personal digging to find out what your needs are and begin a problem solving process by making direct requests that might not always work - in fact I have had clients that have worked super hard on letters to their parents that are open, honest, expressive, curious, and make clear requests and still could not get very self-reflective or curious responses - but it is far more likely to work and lead to positive outcomes. What's more if you can manage to do that and still can't get through to a person you have greater assurance that if you decide to walk away and never look back that you really did leave no stone unturned in checking if there is something animate in there that you can connect with at all!

That's what I said. After watching my parents bicker like this over the same stuff time and time again I thought "Jesus this is fuct! I am NOT doing that when I grow up................." I can't say it's always been easy because some of the triggers are still there from childhood but usually I'm like "don't be mum....."

Yeah it's embarassing to watch. It's one thing doing it, but doing it for years and the same arguments and not seeking to fix it is disturbed IMO

like the butter being left out, the fridge door being left open, or someone buying x when we already have x already Is this not basically saying that the light being left on is more important than your partner? I am discussing this on facebook and I have people saying "everyone does that" Is this true? Does everyone do it? or is that just an excuse anyone here married and in a couple where you never argue over trivial things? anyone to disprove the rules I can say I have been in a long term relationship when it almost never happened but not never ever.

I enjoyed it.

On my bid to become the new Frederic Bastiat, here is a great article to share with people who think you can "spend your way out of a recession" ..... or just Bernie Sanders supporters in general: http://scottishlibertarians.com/more-government-spending-will-not-create-jobs/ I did my best to hit on all the critical points but I'd be open to any feedback

It's hard being the smartest guy around

just direct them to videos by the expert, James Tooley why reinvent the wheel?

Practise practise practise Join your local toastmasters club that will help a lot! people go from dodgy communicators to very good speakers in 9 months You can also decide on an idea you'd like to communicate and break it down into bulletpoints with a pad and then articulate it to the mirror you are probably rushing and that's why things come out badly - slow down - focus on what you are trying to say and put it simply you can practice swriting down your ideas and then going through everything you have said and summarizing it in less complicated language speak to children as when you explain things to them you have to simplify your language there are lots of ways to practise

yeah and he says that he doesn't think we should be parsimonious - should we be parsimonious about that statement? there is a lot of interesting points in the presentation but the conclusions he draws are not the best ones to draw from those points

Author of the Righteous Mind - very worthwhile presentation maybe Stef should debate this guy I would love to see it I noticed one or two self-detonating statements from Haidt, lets see if you see what I see or something else

nice one dude

would be great to see some movies made where the businessmen are the heroes for a change!!!

brilliant work ! hope they are up for collaborating!

haha thanks for the testimonial, it's Antony Sammeroff by the way

So far just a couple of social meetups to network people who are interested in personal development, but ultimately it's to help me find people to invite to the self-help workshops I am going to be running

I started one called Surviving to Thriving Edinburgh (and Glasgow) and it has 57 members after only 1 month.

In the spirit of advancing the cause I would be glad to offer a free life coaching session to anyone who participated in this thread, just send me a pm (that's what I do for a job btw it's not just a random offer of a service I don't know how to provide )

In my country you can do a post-grad in counselling if you have any degree whatsoever I recommend starting with volunteering with The Samaritans as they will give you excellent training for FREE Which you will be able to use to listen to people in your personal life better - those skills will put you way ahead You can also start a group on meetup.com and run self-help workshops based on the exercises in whatever self-help books you have found useful and use that as a springboard to talk about peaceful parenting I commend you on your desire to do positive things and hope my suggestions are useful

What can you do just now that you don't need a degree for? Can you look into that at the moment? If you start just doing little things they often lead you to other opportunities

It misses the main point which is that Dad is never shown as a more sympathetic character than Mum The Dad is only ever a hero if Mum is dead Rarely ever is real-dad the better parent than real-mum, sometimes he's the better parent than secretly evil step-mum