aFireInside

We all want the truth. you don’t have to have the same beliefs; just have reason and integrity.

Yeah you could do almost anything rated R things. (and XXX) I do think these games are violent and nasty, but I don’t know if someone who is raised peacefully would really enjoy playing these games. I like playing shooting games, but I don’t think of the people as “real”, more like robots. I like the strategy and skill involved not necessarily the killing part. It’s kind of like playing tag but with guns.

haha! the first picture with the description made me crack up.. good one !

Im listening to the debate and he is very floral with his words. I disagree with him but even if he is right, we would never know becoause of his language.

Someone who was hungry, and had cheese & bread.

I have some anxiety yet I still have had many partners, not so much after being a freedomain listener. I'll tell you want I did. Don't think of it as asking girls out of the blue. First of course work on yourself. But put yourself out there talk to girls you don't find physically attractive. Just surround yourself with opportunities to meet women. I always made a girl know me and like me before I asked her out , and remember to show your interest in the girl. Flirting . These things come natural you know when there is a mutual attractiveness, your body is smarter than you. You just have to give yourself more exposure . Join a yoga club . Swimming , things you know where it won't be a winni fest. Trust me.

More on my childhood The problem: In my first post I mentioned a little about my childhood. I’m going to share myself further in this post. I talked about not speaking to my parents and isolating myself. Well that is just recent; I have a problem that has been haunting me my whole life. I have anxiety in certain social interactions, even if it’s not noticeable. I have trouble asking people for help. My heart starts racing and I start over thinking. The cause: I’m sure this happened because of my childhood. I grew up with my parents who lived with my Aunt and uncle. I’m one of many siblings. Ever since I can remember my mom always put me down. She made me feel insignificant worse than a dog. She never said it but her actions worked into my sub conscience. It was always little things. If my uncle or aunt gave me something I was supposed to give it back. I should never make noise or interrupt them. I remember getting my stuff stolen by my neighbors and my mom letting them keep my toys. I was about 6. Whenever I wanted something other people came first. My mom had an obsession with pleasing others while neglecting her kid’s needs. All this sounds abstract but its little things like this that adds up. Recently I remember going to a family meet up with my mother. It was at my sister’s house. I remember a random friend of my sitter’s husband stopped by. My sister said start eating because I didn’t make enough food, for random people. My mother said no way, told me not to eat and feed a complete stranger. I didn’t really eat that day, I wasn’t hungry any more. : ( My parents never took me out; I have never been to the park with them (like a normal family). I have never done anything like that. It’s even worse than not having parents. One may say, stop being a cry baby. Yes it is insignificant now but to treat a child this way is disgusting. This is the reason for my anxiety; this is the reason I can’t ask for help. This is the source of my ugliest problem. I was thought that I was insignificant, that I’m not worth anything. Now I understand why…. Social anxiety doesn’t come from thin air. I worked hard to alleviate it but I’m far from being healed.

I think you are correct that I’m just lacking creativity because I know I can find a way of making money. I was offered a tutoring job at my school by default just because of my grades. The thing that makes me worry is that I will lose valuable study time. Lately I have been thinking of making math videos on YouTube, since people have told me that I helped them allot. People actually make a living off making videos! That is amazing. I’ve looked into it and I might be able to start this winter when I get some money. If that fails (which is a big possibility) I’ll try something else but like you said I need to make money if I want to move out. The main thing that I got out of people is that to move out you need to make money somehow and live very cheap. Your life story is amazing; sometimes I forget that we need to trust ourselves and take a leap. For now I think I’m going to try to figure a way of making money on my free time. Since money is part of freedom. I lived like this all my life one more year is nothing. I’ll keep you guys updated if I need advice or something happens. (Even if it next month or next year but ill post important updates.) That was very helpful, you put everything into perspective. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

You can start at udacity.com with python. Its free. It was started by a professor who quit his job. He has some people from google and redit teach classes... And you shouldn’t say you hate math... say you hate the way it is thought. I taught i hated math but it just takes time and the right approach

Yes that definetly helps. Iam willing to move but that would take more research because of the transfering credits and finding transportation...etc That is really cheap ! I live in california i have no attachment to it, but i tought it would be much more simple to just finish community college here then move. I also started buy soap,shampoo and stuff like that so when i move i wont have to worry about that. I think all this takes some basic planning. I have never in my life done anything like this im a life noob.

I do receive financial aid but no loans. So a loan is the best way to go right? I will inform myself on that. I looked for studios/apartment near my school and some are as cheap as 800 a month. So the loan would have to be pretty substantial. Thank you for your reply. It really does help to know what other people did. I really have no one to give me advice.

My life is a mess. I’ve been cleaning for three years. I have one problem that I want to bring up. I’m 21 years old I go to a community college. My family structure my whole life has been a mess. I live with my mother and father but I rarely talk to them. When I get home I isolate myself, all I do is study or read. I even eat in my room. I once read that when a mother indirectly shows a child that he or she isn’t important. The child picks it up and usually ends up isolating themselves. When the child isolates itself he or she is saying let me live please. This makes sense because my mother always put stranger’s needs before mine since I was 4 years old. To a discussing level. When I read that on Healing the Shame that Binds You, I broke down crying. So, since I’m 21 I wanted advice on moving out. How do people maintain jobs and an education? I currently have a 3.8 gpa in school, I pretty much study all day. My major is computer science. I can’t imagine myself working and going to school. I had a part time job before right after high school for a little less than a year. I worked at an electronics store. Technically I could drop out of school and work two minimum wage jobs and rent an apartment. I don’t understand how people do it? How do people like Stef move out so young and thrive? I struggle and work hard every day. I ride my bike 20 miles to school. My parents don’t really help me much besides food and shelter. I’m trapped in a jail sail, please help.