Slavik

Considering that I dont want a state at all. Considering that just about every reduction that is promised turns out to be either a total lie, or will be null and void by the next president. Considering that in order for me to know what I am voting for it would take hours a day to educate myself on a given bill and its possible ramifications. Considering how annoyed I get when the opposite happens. Considering the lines I have to stand in to make that vote. I really do not want to waste my time on voting which I personally think of as a useless pursuit and a horrible waste of my time. I rather not be frustrated, learn some other subject, educate others, and just enjoy my free time.

Hi Robin. To answer your question I would say I would like to know why or how I have them? Knowing the root cause I might be able to begin to address the symptoms. The thing is, when I ask my parent about my past according to her it was a "more or less normal childhood."

Hi, I have been in therapy for almost a year now. There are many things I have connected with the help of my therapist, yet few remain a total mystery. 1) I am not able to tell if another person likes me. At the very best its a shaky neutral in my mind. By not being able to tell I mean I can not read the positive emotions of another person towards me, this is the most evident when it comes to the opposite sex. It all ends up being purely logical for me, as in I end up figuring it out that they might like me through pure logic. 2) The fear of death night terrors I have had when I was a child. I remember waking up in the middle of the night in absolute terror, running to my mother, waking her up and asking her if I am going to die from one thing or another. I want to say that most of my childhood remains a dark shadow, only some such instances stand out, the rest is seemingly gone. Any thoughts on this are greatly appreciated Thank you in advance

Transgender - different sexual identity in a body has biological and genetic factors. Transgenderism arises from incomplete "hormonal wash" of the brain of the fetus, it is not a choice. As far as race goes, honestly I personally can not see the difference between races as far as communicating or interacting with people, a person can have a certain intelligence and attitude no matter what race they are. Im not sure how a race defines a person away from subjective culture, or current experiences when dealing with bigotry.

Hello Trotter, congratulations on making a brave step. There are few things from my personal experience that I can share. Remember that the therapy is all about you, by this I mean you are the "customer" you are in charge, so if something feels off, bring it up, if you at some point feel like its not working out feel free to change therapists until you find the right one. Look into different therapy types, they are not all the same and some might suit you better than others. Finally once you find that right person, it will be hard, but the therapist will make it easier for you. I wish you the best.

I heard the show that you were on. You said Stefan made a fallacy since there might be other forms of non-violent communication. That is true, but the title is not "10% of non-violent communication with other possible 10%" The title is binary meaning the title itself proposes X-as non violent communication only leaving Y-for violent communication. By you stating that there are other possible 10% that the author admits is an assumption isnt it? I am not sure, maybe the author have indeed mentioned it somewhere. The title is the only thing Stefan was talking about as in not liking it for its assumptions. Finally, when Stefan said that you are not a good representative of NVC, well look at how you are responding to people here. I see a lot of anger from you and some things that are simply very unpleasant. You told someone to just "get out" then you said "you are in luck that you are in a good mood." Im not sure if you are aware that your personal mood (meaning might be off for a personal reason) should never enter communication with another person, a skill where the mood is separated consciously. And all of this after you have told this to Stembal " Reject it. That's the easiest way to refute the title. You can say Nonviolent communication is a dumb title because communication cannot be violent by definition. I have no response to this. The conversation ends. But I warn you that you are missing out on information that can help you in your future. It's just a title. " How do you know that NVC will benefit him? Does that mean that you have some knowledge of it yourself? If you have personal knowledge then it doesnt look like its benefiting you at all.

Hi Panoptic, thank you for opening up. Reading your story I could feel tremendous sadness in you, for your brother, deep guilt as well, the way you describe everything, I know you have wrote as much so I am not guessing anything here, all I am saying is that I can really feel it in you through your descriptions. The question I have for you, is where are the parents in all of this? It seemed very lonely for your brother? How about for you? How did your parents treat you both? To answer your questions. Yes, there are many instances where in one family you can have a child who is very fragile or has a high level of emotional sensitivity. It could have very well be the fact that he saw you as the "stronger one," and there was some kind of transference as in he saw you as a father figure, but where is your father in all of this?

I had similar thing with my cat, changing his diet and brand of food eventually helped. He was on dry food which gave him these troubles, I switched him to regular canned tuna, then to wet food, he is fine now. Hope it works for you.

Hi Lens. thank you for the inspiring comment. I have edited my original post to what I think is a possible solution that I am implementing.

Something you have mentioned in your first paragraph bothers me a bit. "When I was younger, I was very shy and didn't have many friends, nor did I talk much. People always said I was really quiet." I dont think children are naturally quiet or not sociable. That is if people take interest in them, namely parents. It might be worth exploring your childhood further. I also am not sure what you mean when you say that you keep "jabbering" away? Is "jabbering" your word, or is it the word that someone used on you in the past to shut down your talking? Lastly, I am not certain that indeed you talk too much, the paragraphs you have written seem to be very concise and to the point, no tendencies for incoherent run ons. Its really hard to say. If you do have this happening, well the question might be best answered while putting others into this equation, by this I mean; does this happen with people who are not interesting to you or does this happen with people you are trying to connect with?

Hi Lens, thank you for replying. I guess I should have mentioned in my original post that I am in therapy, and indeed this situation triggers my past abuses. I am well aware of the triggers though, these triggers used to get me to shut down and then I would become passive aggressive. Right now I am learning to set boundaries, this is why I dont want to just allow this situation to continue. Oh as far as my parents, not only did they NOT protect me, they were themselves the source of abuse.

That is true, let me alter my statement a bit. "The initiation of the use of force and absence of the medium of exchange". I think this fell under 10 seconds

Thank you for replying labmath2. I have done the things you have mentioned in your post with no results. Hi shirgall thank you for your comment. There is no safety concerns. The only concern I have is people trying to take advantage of me.

Solved (possible solution below) Hi, I work in the store and I do claims and HAZMAT. When I was transferred to that department immediately I have noticed many issues, other employees were leaving their hazmat behind, which they are not suppose to do. I have talked to many of those people and found out that they simply wanted to push their work on to us. I resolved those issues with most of the people, some however dont seem to care and keep on pushing their work on me. I have been in contact with my direct managers as well as theirs. Managers keep on telling me that the issues will be resolved, yet months have passed and nothing has changed, in some respect its gotten almost to the point of when I first arrived. I kept on showing the problems to the managers to no avail. I've noticed that I am getting incredibly infuriated by by this. It feels like I am back in my school where kids are trying to take advantage of me with no one to help. I know the job is complete crap, I am planning on finishing one year here and moving on. The problem is that I really do not know what to do. I do not want to do other peoples job for two reasons a) I dont want to allow anyone to take advantage of me any longer b) If I do their job it will make me look bad as my job will start to lag behind. Thank you in advance for any input. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First I would like to thank everyone for very fast and insightful comments, I really appreciate the help. As Lens mentioned, I followed his advise and did some introspection. I found that in reality, the reason I approached all of those managers, is that I wanted revenge, I wanted proverbial "blood." In my mind these few employees represented all of my past bullies, and I wanted them to pay. When I stopped talking to this "part" I realized that I was consumed with rage, and many hours of my days were spent on plotting revenge, and imagining them being hurt. I also noticed another part that felt very raw, very "naked" exposed. That part wanted no, needed protection. I was seeking that protection in these managers, as I used to look for it in my parents to no avail. The conclusion I came to (my therapist helped before on similar issue with my past) is that I was still being controlled by those bullies, they were provoking me, and I responded. I stopped responding. Now when I see their things piled up in my work place, I take 5 minutes to gather it all into a cart, and roll it right back to their work place. One of those employees tried to bully me about bringing work back to him even tried to threaten me saying "there will be problems" to which I replied "Its ok if there are problems, we can go to a manager if you would like to resolve this," that cooled him immediately. So in the end, I take their things back to them, and it no longer bothers me, and I am not allowing anyone to take advantage of me this way wither. PS: I think this is a solution, but if anyone has any advice to better it or to do something different, please let me know. Al insights are happily taken in . Thank you again everyone

I can do "why communism failed" in under 10 seconds. "The initiation of the use of force"

From what I understand, by the age of 25 the brain is completely formed. Absent of any traumatic events, the brain hardly changes. It takes a lot of painful work, and wanting to work on yourself in order to change as you get older. Also, as people get older, they are now surrounded by family, friends and community, thus making it that much more costly for them to change or want to change, too much invested by later age.

Hi Jamz, Im curious to know what anger you are holding? Do you mean constantly walking angry at something? Personally I have let go of much anger only after I have worked through many issues. As far as anger after a certain incident. For me, if I do not set boundaries with people right there and then by telling them how a this interaction makes me feel, then I do tend to get angry after the fact and keep holding on to it, until its resolved. Hope this helps.

Hi soulshock. When it comes to trauma its all of the things together that cause it, it doesnt have to be a single event. Even from your current description I can say there was quiet a lost of neglect in your childhood, the fact that you are self medicating is a sign of possible physical abuse as well, although neglect can cause just as much damage to a child as any physical abuse. The part of not being sure, is absolutely normal, majority of people who suffered as children, have a tendency to minimize their suffering in their mind.

Hi soulshock. There is a lot of loneliness and and anger in your words. I can only imagine the horrendous childhood you had. I can see in your description that you are desperately trying to connect with your family, yet end up like a thrashing boat in a stormy dark sea, cold and battered by them. You are currently in depression, depression is a serious disorder, its very disabling. Alcoholism is self medication, this has to do with trauma that you might have experienced as a child. If you can I would strongly suggest a therapist. I am not sure in which part of the world you live, I might be able to chat with you if you like, just as a start.

Thank you James

Could be just me, but I do not see a forum link, there is (HOME, PODCASTS, VIDEOS, PREMIUM CONTENT, CHAT)

Hi Alvaro, can you tell me more about losing trust? How did that come about? Has something happened? Not having trust in your caregivers at the very early age, is something that will definitely make a child, insecure, it also brings a lot of loneliness, the idea of not trusting, therefore not being able to depend on or to feel safe. I am really sorry to hear that you have experienced such childhood.

Try IFS approach, have a conversation with that analytical part. This part is only trying to teach you something, its just information. Try approaching it with curiosity, and see what information it has for you.

There are few things here. Do you remember how connected were you to your mother/parents, or were you mostly left to your own devices? Being left alone and not played with, does bring a lot of abandonment issues to a child, later adult. The other part of social interactions, a child needs to be talked to a lot and played with a lot, listened to taught and so on. Every aspect a parent needs to watch for, in some rare cases, children can be shy, thats when a parent should step in to help the child open up. This takes a lot of trust and a lot of work and encouragement. I am not completely sure that the latter is the case, since you have a lot of "loneliness" being left alone emotions coming up.

Hi Alvaro, thanks for sharing. I would posit that being alone is very painful for humans. Were you lonely as a child? Cats usually scratch at the door, but thats just them wanting to go explore with all their little passion, they are not in distress per say. It could very easily be your projection, a projection of your lonely childhood memories, distant not immediate, but very raw emotionally. As far as feeling first, to figure out what images or thoughts flash before hand is a difficult skill that many people have difficulty mastering, it takes time, but try working on it, with a short amount of practice you will be able to remember automatic thoughts, as well as be able to pull them to the surface.