Devon Gibbons

Great episode. At 18 mins the information on boy's success in school got me interested in finding out how I did. Do public schools maintain grade records and standardized test scores that are accessible by past students?

I think it would be really useful to everyone. Thanks for looking into the issue more and making the correction. It's cool to know it's possible.

I'd be happier. More virtuous. Kinder. More interested in other people. Stronger. More courageous. Spontaneous. Less chronically depressed. More self-expressive, more creative. More interesting and more helpful. More principled. Yeah, I think it is more disenfranchised. I haven't asked for much. My sister on the other hand... Voting is not allowed. Socialism is law. "Kindness" is what they call their tyranny. Their "kindness" transforms their faces to an ugly smugness.

I can't tell them how much I hate them for subsidizing me and usurping my motivation, infantilizing me. I can't even THANK them either, because to thank them for keeping me alive is shameful. I can't speak to the good nature of my parents for doing this either. I can't admit or communicate to anyone at all in my family, extended family, past relationships/friendships. Because of the overwhelming shame on me for "taking advantage of" my parents. My parents hate me with a vicious passion for blaming them for my situation. They have done "a lot" for me. Wouldn't you think they have had to have done so, after 23 years? I've told them to just stop giving me money. It's been like 1 year. They've made commitments 3 times, very, very, very, very intense and verbally atrocious situations each time, to set a date to stop funding me. They haven't. Recently they did it again. They really don't have any standards. Like they literally go insane, and we don't speak of it again. When I just want to talk about pros and cons of staying vs leaving, there's no reasoning, they don't see me as an emotional body with a natural preference for ease to stay. The arguments I begin become emotional disputations of their weakness. It becomes about them, and not me, because I angrily insist on their involvement. I insist they have an interest in my staying or leaving, they deny it. I become the punishing parent and they infantile narcissists. Then they say all the things they should say about one another about me. They project and take no self responsibility, acting as a "unit". When they are tame they are quite different. They literally, these are 55 year old individuals mind you, they literally have mannerisms of a 4 year old little boy and a 8 year old little girl, when I empathize with them. To get them at all interested in what I have to say, I have to be really exciting and spin very intricate stories and metaphors to keep their childlike attentions. I am feeling so fake. They just want me to entertain them. To entertain their childlike personalities. Really turns me off to when people, even kids that age, act like that. These are 55 year olds who don't know how to have a discussion that actually leads anywhere. My dad has been stuck for a very long time in his habits, as has my mom. My intellectual / emotional capacity is severely limited around them. I have crushing self doubt, and my mom says "I think you could get a job in a week if you tried". She doesn't care if I try. She's not curious about my search. Just expects me to hardcore search for jobs. She's deluded. I never have in the capacity she says, questioning her if that's really even possible she belittles the question, "Do I seriously have to answer that..?" This blasé determination to focus on my work issues, lack of support, has helped me to not do that hard core search she occasionally expects, which led to these last 3 atrocious confrontations. Something you might find interesting is that she works in social services for the government to get developmentally disabled individuals work and sees herself as an expert in helping people find jobs and wants to pretend like she's providing value to me. She barely ever communicates with me about jobs, has a very inflexible approach, not giving two shits about considering my work experience or interests. Just expects an extremely small quota for a record of job applications, like 2 per week. My dad, I talk to him, and he just walks out or ends the conversation within 5 sentences, gets impatient and angry if I tell him I am having trouble. He thinks my mom is doing a great job of overseeing my plan of action. I just play her game of pretending that I am competent to take the responsibility of her supposed - well not really HER'S, but OUR _COLLECTIVE_ help for the son of the house through months of isolation, years really. My parents literally refer to some invisible collective of the family a lot of the time. By saying "we will", for example, rather than "I will", "she will", or "you will...do (so and so)". I have got to somehow work it out here, I don't have the money, the little money I do have I feel I haven't the right to spend because it's been mixed with moneyI haven't earned that I haven't been keeping track of. They don't record how much they spend on me. They don't even tell me. It's a secret almost. I insult my mom when I ask, I don't even know why it's insulting. I can't keep up with the expectations I frustratingly compulsively agree to. They judge me off these expectations which aren't rational and then say, "You won't be PERFECT at whatever job you get, you'll be new, and they'll train you". When they speak this reason I almost want to leap out and strangle them,for their hypocrisy and extreme neglect not guiding me with help during this time, when they say that they are and have.

This girl thinks the same as you! "When people say they want to be happy, what they really mean is they want to be content (and they want YOU to be content) and that's fucking dangerous." (Parenthesis mine) BAD PEOPLE around you want you to be "optimistic" about them so they WON'T HAVE TO GET BETTER. Optimism about dysfunctional people is enablement - it's SUBSIDIZING THEIR SHITTINESS with your smiles. -Stefan Molyneux https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jyhrUiLXm4&t=3163 start at 52:43

The first part is my dream, the second is my waking life and thoughts. What is illusion?

I dream my throat's been cut in a classroom and nobody helps me. Everyone is standing in lines around the boundary of the room facing the center where there was, I think, the teacher - she'd just left and nobody had moved. I hold my throat, falling to the ground desperate that other people help me, but I hold my neck like I hold my voice and can't call for help. But they're just right there... They just stand there, though, frozen. Their eyes are the only evidence of their terror. They're not going to help me. I see how terrified they are. I know I am going to die, but I'm not afraid anymore. I want to tell them something so that they will at least help themselves, and I say, "Don't go out without a fight." But they don't know how. They stand there, looking at me unsure, just shifting a little. It breaks my heart that they just stand there, a couple dozen feet away. They just keep standing there, seeing ME die! And what's worse is that, even after seeing me and hearing my last words, that doesn't even persuade them to help themSELVES. I have to stand up. I'm still bleeding though, and it's very hard to get up. I'm disoriented and holding my neck, regaining my balance. There's only silence in the room. There's a short sword I find on the ground, that I pick up and walk to the open door with, to the left. I look through the jamb and the door holding the sword over my head knowing that she won't expect the slice coming back into the room. Then I second guess myself. The sword is only a couple of feet long and is almost an inch thick, and kind of dull. "That won't cut it.." I think. I put it down, angry that it isn't going to work. I turn around and see a silver flattened and sharper long sword on the ground and I go and pick it up. I turn around with it and go to the center of the classroom. Then a small kid who used to go to my school irl comes at my legs with a dagger and is dangerously playing sword fight with my legs. I am freaking out, he was like a buff mouse. I block him a couple times and he hits me with the dagger a couple of times in the shins and legs and says, "Hey, trade swords with me, I'll give you my dagger and you give me your sword." And I thought that that trade was ridiculous and say, "No." But as I am fencing him off with my sword as he dangerously playfully tries to stab and slash at my legs, I think, "Maybe it would be better than the sword I have considering my injury". I need this sword to save everyone, but I am distracted by this kid and don't know when the woman is going to walk through the open door. And I'm in the middle of the classroom now. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Just yesterday I walked into my old high school for the first time since I graduated. I had gone through 600 plus FDR podcasts, listened to half of Richard Grove's peace revolution podcasts, and gone through the Ultimate History Lesson twice. It was 2 hours past school was out. To get in, I asked two school girls waiting for their parents if the doors behind them were open. They said, Yeah. I went in. The place is a fucking jail. Designed after prisons, for control, Pavlovian bells. When I entered there were security guard teachers in the center pacing this panopticon like center room where they could see down ALL the hallways, ensuring the building was clear. The long hallways were empty, square, and had little socialistic propaganda "inspirational" posters saying things like, "Don't judge others" and awful shit, spaced perfectly apart on the largely blank walls. I don't know what to say to kids here or what to do. The rooms separate all students from one another, all supervision is secret. Like little interrogation chambers. There's the one teacher for all the kids. It is just so sick to think of how much effort is put into breaking the will of cheerful youth like the two girls chatting outside.. The force that is required and the kind of parenting and neglect and the level of evil to allow this all to happen is staggering. And their own money is stolen to pay for this immense prison system. Fuckin stupid as shit. Fucking retards, assholes, goons, apes, militiamen. idk, just a bit overwhelmed.

Is it possible to link a podcast to start at a certain time? Like on YouTube: "Get video URL at current time" ...."Get podcast URL at current time"? What do you call this type of linking?

I was wondering what sort of evidence existed or purported to show that evolution was invalid. I have heard that there are some sort of compelling arguments against it and was just curious if anyone had studied the creationists side ver much. I'd be really interested in hearing what they / you got. holla back

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"I would like to hear your thoughts on what i should be asking or tell him to help him understand, I have thought of telling him how I view and deal with those thoughts myself, but can he relate?" Tell me if this is off base, but because of the 'should' in there I was wondering: is there much of an emotional connection between you and him that you feel when you're talking about death and dying with him? Since you haven't told him yet of how you view mortality and aging and how you deal with those thoughts yet, is there something that you are hessitant to share with him? I'm curious what you'd tell him if you told him right now what you thought of saying. Also, has he hit puberty?

Thanks for the link. I've seen a couple of his videos on YouTube, but this is a good introduction to his work and I'm enjoying the first video in the link you've provided.

One thing I really remembered from the course was this:

Could you give me further information going into how Geoff is eradicating the socialist faction in the movement? What exactly is the "faction"? What members populate it? I think that fundamentally, if people believe in anthropogenic climate change as I did going into permaculture, they're going to have been indoctrinated with fascist ideas attached to the global warming hoax. And that's perfectly fine, but you can't have virtue or integrity with fascism. And it would seem very hard to eradicate such ideologies without denouncing the hoax and attacking the pervasive propaganda that attracts people to Permaculture in the first place. I'd be interested in what he's changed his message to. If the "instructors are only as good as their understanding and experience and this leaves the door wide open for charlatans", how is it that..."the degree not a scheme"? Are there standards that apply to a degree that make even charlatans who teach it valuable instructors?

[Fake quote, read as a hardcore action flick announcer] So in the past year, Monica Lewinsky has started coming out, I saw this TED video: https://youtu.be/H_8y0WLm78U?t=284 --Her talk about shame seems to be kind of a paltry aside compared to what this means for Hillary's political career ie. BOOST UP. I mean, if you think about it, it kind of goes to Hillary's credit that Monica has come out. I assume this will trigger people's past associations of Monica with Hillary being stalwart through the affair and committing to the relationship. And since she'd be older upon entering presidency, she's perceptibly "wiser" than her husband (was). I wonder if some people might vote for Hillary because they want to give her some kind of one up, like "YOU CAN DO IT!" (kind of like basic feminist propaganda to take over the household and be the man). To have this (not really) young naive, SHAME ON YOU SHAMER, woman come back out automatically makes Hillary seem more aged, wise, and ethical. She has a vested interest in propagating this message that we should not shame people. lol. One of the most obvious displays of hypocrisy related to politics that I've seen in a while.

Back in late 2012 I discovered Permaculture through a torrent file I found on the internets. Through this downloaded lecture series with Bill Mollison and Geoff Lawton I learned some principles in sustainable agriculture and sustainability in general. I thought it was a great introduction into sustainability from someone who seemed somewhat of a pioneer, he coined the term "Permaculture". He was one of my first major exposures to academia as being mostly bullshit and people who don't give a shit about the planet and hypocrisy in general. Both lecturers believe in global warming through human emissions, and kind of push a socialistic agenda sorta like Agenda 21 or something. There's some nihilism about humanity each carries that's a bit revolting. Both lecturers are a bit narcissistic and use sustainability it seems to me as a sort of way to put themselves above others. I guess not the greatest ringing endorsement, but maybe you'd still find some interesting lessons contained within the series. There are many stories Bill relates from his past that are kind of enjoyable. I wonder if anyone else has been exposed to sustainable agriculture byway of Permaculture or Bill Mollison. Here's the First lecture - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cK8Qdd0l9o I feel a bit sick that I actually watched all of these videos; I didn't have a methodology of evaluating the truth value of the many statements that are made. The "degree" is a scheme. There's a lot of propaganda about human caused climate change. Just to warn you. I'd be highly skeptical about all statements he makes. His method of propaganda is telling stories that are somewhat interesting relating his knowledge of ecology and corruptly mixing them together with this propaganda.

Furniture doesn't ever move, same pictures hang in place on walls for years, with maybe the occasional new addition to an old exhibit or display that isn't altered much, and in fact looks even more like it already did. HEY, that doesn't go there! We're not going to rearrange and move everything around, that would be too much work. We don't got the time to do that. Timeless. It does something with your perception of time, adjusting the speed of your space capsule-of-a-body so that 1 foot equal a lightyear. An out of place figurine is like a misaligned planet. Because the extent of the house becomes the extent of the universe. What were your exhibits like?

Are you eating enough? I ask myself that often. I don't plan meals, which is what kills me. I know to avoid this I simply must sit down an hour and think what I've eaten that's healthy and satisfying. I don't have food and I become starved and impulsive. Eating "healthy" as I call it, to me, generally is a shotty mix of spinach, cellery, eggs, peas, and lots of butter. I'm also on a crunch with money. Oh, and beans too. I know I'm not having a balanced diet. If you're binging, it might be you're not eating enough variety of veggies with plenty of butters, not frequently enough, and/or not enough food in general. Don't buy junk food and you're golden. Buy fruit and carbs you like in quantity to subsist as replacement. Maybe don't work out so hard or often. What is your diet?

There's an "if" in the statement. Love is an involuntary response to virtue if we, ourselves, are virtuous. That's the argument. "Love is an involuntary response to virtue" without "if" disregards our necessary participation in the love relationship, if love is to be between self and other which it is. Which makes me wonder if we have a self-self. Because if I love myself, who does the loving? What is the difference between I and myself? Meta Love is meeting that 'bad' feeling, and accepting it. Love is not a matter of "ability", but of choice. Love cannot exist without choice. The choice is virtue. I don't know how to describe the feeling of virtue, really. I suppose you feel high, and energetic, spirited - I guess is how I would describe it. Full of vitality and energy. It definitely does have an affect on the body, because it is an action of the body.

Also, I haven't really any connection with my old jobs, no references :S I quit my last job without notice. Edit: First post will show up shortly, I assume.

Could someone help me work on my resume? I've been unemployed for (_gasp_) 2.5 years and I don't really know what to say about what I have done. I have done some schooling within that time, but haven't any degrees or certifications. If anyone has experience in helping people with resumes or knows of people who offer their services free of charge (or payed), I'd like to hear from you. **If anyone has experience in finding work after long periods of unemployment and succesfully reintegrated into the world, please send me a private message and share your experiences (or just add your experience down below) and I'd like to chat with you and ask you more.** Maybe you could offer some sort of mentoring advice and support during this time in my life if you'd be interested. If anyone would be interested in sharing their knowledge about how to use job search engines, I'd like to hear any veteran advice you have, and if you're willing, would really appreciate one to one time with your help with that, especially if you're proficient with these websites. I'm not looking for a particular job right now- I don't think that it would be useful to be very picky right now- because I am living with my sister and will be kicked out in two weeks if I don't find a job, so yeah. Maybe I'll find my favorite job and and pursue the line of work through to the end of all time - it's a possibility... Discounting the usefulness of wishful thinking -- Base necessity: I need a part time job that I can make 200 dollars a month from. I live in Lawrence, Kansas right now; if anyone lives here or around here maybe you have some connections or friends you can put me in contact with? That's a bit of a stretch I know for many people and would take some uniquely kind soul, but I thought calling on any kind people out there willing to reach a helping hand out to a stranger to get to know me would be a good move. I'm quite tongue tied, meek, and nervous. If anyone's got this problem or had it, how did you deal with it when interviewing? If you don't have many ideas yourself, but a person comes to mind that might offer help to me, gratis, (or someone worth a few cents) I'd very much appreciate you acting as an intermediary between us. Really appreciate anyone's interest in helping me out! Thank you so much for reading.

Thanks for the recommendation! I liked it. The telepathy moments were really powerful to me. It's like quintessential self-knowledge. I interpreted it as the anima and animus inside both men and women.

Rad description of the plants at your place and the mood. That's real awful of that guy. Really sorry he treated you like a dog. Glad you found out he was manipulating you, nice self defense there. Lies really make you backtrack. Good on you for using honesty and thinking of the future.