Devon Gibbons

Ah you're welcome. I really appreciate what you're doing for your children, it means so much to them. I'd be interested in hearing if Sara provides any help if you can get in touch with her.

Oh yeah, I remember watching that movie, I really liked that. I'll have to watch it again. Is this a movie review post? I remember the first time I watched it I was seeing it through the male actor's experience. I wonder if I'll have as much sympathy now for him falling for that woman.

FDR 2926 The Truth About Sex maybe or Fdr2929 (below are pertinent moments imo) 35:20 society's benefits from pair bonding. Less males to females leads to downfall of society 41:05 the odds / statistics 56:35 marriage / loneliness. Youth is for marrying. Stefan is ~49 this year, I'm 22 going on 23, and feel anxious I am behind in life if I want to marry.

That was awesome, thanks for letting me know of this swap. Immoral of the Martin's? Yeah. Could have prevented some trauma for the younger children. Since it already did occur though, I'd prefer being in a household where I could process immorality forced upon me over over a house where I cannot process anything even happy experiences, which will be the case in the house of the domineering black widow. It shows the difference between "process" and "processing".

Any suggestions?

This isn't the podcast I was referring to in my previous post, but Stefan says some pertinent stuff about schooling which I think is also important to think about : FDR Podcast 2935 time: 2:28:33 EDIT: sorry, for some reason my previous post must be approved by a moderator, and will perhaps appear shortly.

http://www.jweekly.com/article/full/15648/home-schooling-a-rarity-in-israel-but-some-like-it/ I just found this article from 2001. Maybe you could get in contact with this woman and ask her about her experiences and see what she thinks about your desire to homeschool but also get your kids involved with others to learn the language. It is going to do you and your kids a lot better to have a close relationship with them at home. I think a recent podcast I listened to Stef mentioned that kids who are homeschooled by parents unspecialized in educating had a higher than average IQ from those who went through public/state indoctrination. If it's a money issue, ask the woman if she's had experience creating a privatized homeschooling club. Maybe some of those who you talked to and were on board would be interested enough in your services, or in exchanging their own services of teaching your children Hebrew or whatever language and skills you value. Ask her what her difficulties were and are with the government, I bet if you can contact her shed be a treasure trove of helpful advice. What is your husbands religious/state bent? Could he provide for the family on his own? How long have your children been going to public school, what have their experiences been like, and can you better serve them? I don't know the ins and outs, but these are some questions I think that would be helpful for you to ask and discuss with your family.

Could someone explain the different hierarchical tax districts that exist and the basic sorts of taxes they collect? For example the state, federal, municipal districts and any others..? I know this is probably a really amateur question, but I'd really appreciate explanation. Also, maybe more difficult, what the differences are from state to state, or municipality to municipality. Thanks.

http://www.fdrpodcasts.com/#/2041/there-is-no-such-thing-as-mental-illness

Does anyone know if there are any emotional intelligence tests?

I eerily think I am that someone you met up with. I don't know if my friend had gotten into self-knowledge, I don't think he had. I was coming to the lunch wanting to tell him my lack of connection I felt with him in the relationship we had because mostly all I remember of him was playing video games with him, his friends, and his brothers. But he was normalizing our bored experiences together by saying "Yeah, but at least we weren't doing drugs or anything crazy...", which isn't really a qualifier in my book. I was trying to tell him I felt a distance between us that was facillitated by both of us, but he ignorantly said "I knew you were a bit introverted, but I just wanted to respect that". Of course, he was right, I was introverted and I closed up when people got too close. But him respecting and normalizing the distance that I was putting in our relationship is evidence that he was fine calling our distant relationship a relationship, which felt a bit insulting. He was indifferent to my fear of letting people close. I was telling him about how I was distant with my father and I kind of saw him, oddly as a father - or older brother, he corrected - and that my familial relationships I thought shaped the way I interacted with him and I asked him some questions about his father and if he had a close relationship with him and he said he got into a yelling fight with him when he left home. The conversation over lunch went on, I kind of thought, like a bad therapy session I had, but I enthusiastically asked him if he wanted to have lunch in a week and he said "sure". Lacking integrity, powered by the overwhelming idea of empathizing with and focusing consciously on all of the crazy fucking shit that he was telling me about his own life, I stood him up. Very **** move, I know. I was feeling a lot of anxiety about what I would say to him in response and what we would talk about at this next meeting. I also feared I would overwhelm him with my life and he would think I was egotistical or would just neglect/ignore/deny the depth of who I was and I would be abandoned again. So, my fear of abandonment caused the abandonment. I know that people aren't locked into certain personalities, but he had a habit, let's say, of caretaking and managing people's emotions in his family, like Malcolm in the middle. (interesting possibly pertinent asside - I had a very sad dream of saying goodbye to him and not seeing him for 6 months. It was very deep and powerful - it swayed my decision and after the dream I stopped thinking about it.) Sorry, as you've probably guessed with the length of this, I haven't really processed this intense "reunion" with him. Listen, you've separated from these people for a reason, listen to the voices. They've experienced these people in much different ways than your enthusiastic part has. For me it helped to look at my relationships with Voltaire's quote in mind "To see who rules over you, find out who you cannot criticize". And for me, this meant criticizing my first and "best" friend. Thinking about all of his faults actually. I had basically worshiped him secretly for a long time (maybe worship is a bit too much, but praised that relationship and his good qualities). So, in a way, I couldn't criticize him, because he was so nice... yeah, nice... like when he invited me to beat up our other "friend" or when I was 6, and being very honest about it, telling that I loved him - how much I truly loved him (brotherly love) - and angrily saying I was gay. ALSO, I looked at bad "friends" that I had dropped specifically because they did some truly awful shit. So, I turned Voltaire's quote on its flipside and asked "If I wish to find out who rules over me, I should ask 'who am I not allowed to empathize with?'." And so I started putting myself into his shoes. He'd always make fun of me in a really embarrassing way, and I felt like his pet he could fuck with. He had a really awful unempathic mocking laugh that was annoying (he'd immitate Peter Griffin). So I began thinking about it and came to the realization that we were friends because I wanted a friendship with this asshole, which indicated that, for all this time, a part of me was radically compensating for the shame I had for myself for having the qualities of a person I despised. This helped me, recently, understand some hidden aspects of the relationships I have had. It hasn't really brought me any friends, but has brought me a sort of resolution in acknowledgment of my experience of them. But it was mostly only with introspection I learned all of this, not "hanging out" with these people (besides the initial meeting with that one fellow) and shooting the shit and vaguely trailing on about "I wonder why we stopped hanging out!! It's so weird, man... because we're like the BEST of friends!" and then getting sucked into historical disconnection with these people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNuX7bs2qAM It's like your subconscious called you to its shore. Seashore : See sure. lol. I get a kick out of homophones. I like your design on the lid. it looks like it took you a long time. How long have you had the box? Do you pour it into other containers? This is for your sad flower I've heard that kids at age like 2 start drawing geometric shapes and patterns like archetypes. This sandplay seems like it has a lot of potential for expressing this.

Here'a a write up about it http://www.sandplay.org/intro_to_sandplay_therapy.htm Does anyone have experience with this? If you have, I'd be interested in finding out if it was helpful and what kind of emotions it helped to bring out for you.

WABBIT SEASON!

http://www.fdrpodcasts.com/#/2657/why-you-were-bullied-sunday-call-in-show-april-6th-2014

I've done it a couple of times. That video's well done. I like. Here's my process of how I figured out the process; I'll bold the critical process: The other day I was at a different park (so being at a nature park helps me, or is a trigger for social anxiety) and I was walking alone, and there was no one around me. I was walking around and approaching a divergence in the path I was on. I was self-loathing and nihilistically wondering why I'd come here. "Who owns this place?" I cynically thought, "They must be narcissistic to want to feel that they are good for owning and keeping up a park for the public. Government parks are just a means to placate their otherwise well-managed sheeple to give them a semblance of freedom." With this ridiculous abstract projection I sat down. On this bench I realized I was sitting at a trivium (where three roads meet) on my metal grated bench; I was sitting on it just off the pavement of a convergence; in front of me was a path going straight ahead, and there were paths leading left and right. I thought "past, present, future". Past on the left, present straight ahead, and future to the right, where I came from. Then I remembered a video a guy on FDR chat recommended I watch and "The Big Picture" rant Stef gave in that podcast and I had a real desire to come out of myself and not lock myself up. I saw a cardinal calling above my head, continuously, alone, and I thought of its sadness, but then its beauty; I could be like the cardinal and not care what others thought, and just get up going forward and express myself in the present, for the past and future. I walked straight ahead from the seat and began thinking of what I could say to myself. I was filled with anxiety still and felt terribly uncomfortable - fearing the possibility of running into another person (quite literally, I felt) - and so I simply soothingly talked to myself, it was a bit uncomfortable because it sounded like a voice of my mom or dad, who I was currently evading. But as there were no people around I continued calmly, assuring myself, getting over some claustrophobic ghost-like agoraphobia by focusing my attention outwards and appreciating my surroundings on this secluded forested path in the park. As I was walking out of a crisis, unfortunately, or fortunately, I passed a couple of women who did what I feared would happen, they said nothing to me. I had fake smiled and waved as I'd passed them . They stopped talking as they were within 20 feet of me and the silence continued after I passed them for another 6 long seconds until I heard their faint voices start up again. "Good", I thought, "my aggressive desperation didn't ruin their walk". I began thinking of how ridiculous people can be when they pass each other on sidewalks. It's not just me that's delusional I thought: "walking past people on paths is like getting into car wrecks". There's such a seriously uncomfortable wreck of an exchange of words. Like one person will say, "Hello", to you, then after they say that you say [which you had already comfortably thought, concretely planned, and then assuredly carry out by saying] "Hey, how's it going?". But all they had planned to say was just "Hello", and they continue on as if you said nothing as if implying "What? You expect me to tell you how I'm DOING asshole?!" (inner voice). There's a car wreck of confusion. I sometimes think, "WHO CAUSED THIS WRECK?!!?", feeling a compulsion to either run in horror or do the opposite and stop and order them to show me their license and registration. But after this sharing of intimate details, there's this silence... a solemn kind of mourning for 6 seconds, to acknowledge the sorrowful death of communication. It's like a hit and run where the perp speeds off with no one in pursuit, and the chatting happily begins again. Those were my (insane?) thoughts beginning the process. I became very animated at this funny redundancy of seriousness I put on meeting strangers. I put the phone up to my ear and started talking into it to record my thoughts on this matter. I stopped talking into the phone recorder as I passed other people across a creek from me and then continued later when they were out of earshot. This inconvenience gave me the later radical thought of just pretending that I'm on my phone instead of stopping talking. And so I used this method passing probably 4 other people. Regarding the process, unconsciously I thought of what sort of conversation would look most normal for me to have on a phone. So I came up with a story about a friend and his problems with a girlfriend, as a way to talk and think about my own feelings about how a relationship should work out. I asked my friend about what he was doing, he told me he went on a date, I asked about her, I asked why she liked doing the things he liked to do, and he told me her experiences with the interests she had developed which he shared and why she liked them, he told me of something that he didn't quite like about her, I then gave this fake friend advice on what I thought a relationship should be like. I did this speaking openly sitting at another bench I had come to. I was so into the conversation that when people came towards me, I felt encouraged to be empathetic towards my friend. When you begin it may feel insincere kind of, but I think that's just an ego-protector who doesn't want you to lose control and have parts throwing an inadvertent Touretts fists-of-emotion at innocent passerby. I often feel like I may be making people uncomfortable and harming them, but with this you're not targeting other people and there's no one to harm -you're just talking about yourself and your parts, which is actually much more a process of secluding yourself or balling yourself up more than (what I often feel interaction with others is about,) an extroverted display for other people's entertainment or judgment1. However, you can include your external scenery as part of the discussion and subtly talk about those around you by incorporating aspects of them into your story. You can talk about ANYTHING. If you want to express extreme sadness, you could pretend like you've gotten news that your mother (your inner mother) is dead (too extreme? whatever you're comfortable with). Or you want to express your helpfulness, come up with a situation where someone has called you for advice. Or maybe you call someone else for advice. The only disclaimer is if you're emotive at all, people will look at you maybe positively or negatively. BUT, the amazing thing is, people will fundamentally respect and trust you beneath whatever outward judgment they may show, because to them and to yourself you are talking to a real person who values your friendship and advice! They fundamentally value people who connect with others. Connection is a virtue, and displaying it to people you pass can be more fulfilling for you and them than meekly gesturing, "hi". And it will always be an insincere "hi" unless you first connect with your "self". All you have to do is stay genuinely open with your part, which really is indistinguishable from a real person, or should be talked to as such. So they think that you're actually trying to help someone out and speaking like a real human to someone else. Whether or not the conversation goes anywhere or not, it's beneficial to yourself and others around you. Basically, you create a safe comfortable conversation with another, so you can be open about yourself without fear of attack and condemnation from others in your vicinity. The connection will strengthen your intuition of boundaries. 1In the presence of others you might even find the more nervous you are the more authentic the conversation becomes because you want to connect with the part to compensate for your fear of being found out as a "fraud", which happened to me. You can then reflect about what you said and why you said it. The whole point is to express yourself regardless of other people's presences, and this sort of "E.T. phone home" impresses other people. A couple of guys I passed thought I found a rare alien friend and were intrigued about what this "openness and honesty" language I was speaking was all about, they were lonely cynical skating teens. It's a beautiful language and people are attracted to it. I ignore a lot of people generally, because I'm afraid of being ignored. This is an alternative to keeping silent I have found useful.

That's really helpful advice Kevin. I've been looking for a therapist again recently with that idea and I shot one down quick. No time to kill, I only got time to kill time killers. (not actually kill them, though) I tried this shortly after this you posted this question, and it helped to connect with myself tremendously. I was at a nature trail and feeling really down, I remembered it and picked up a stick and started talking to myself. Today, again recently, I used the method with a real phone. Worked much better, people didn't look at me weird. This is something I think I will use often, now. I'll pretend I have a call and then start talking to myself. I have social anxiety, and this has helped me talk frankly and express myself in front of strangers. I can do parts work wherever I am, unless of course I'm with family. I really encourage others who have social anxiety to try this out if it sounds interesting and you have fairly good imagination.

It could be that what I do to interpret my dreams is just a sloppy kind of free-association, so I may not be consciously recognizing the irrelevance of the thing to my dream. Like I attribute the meaning of the smaller category to the larger. Erroneously finding out what the individual symbol's meaning is and applying that to what the WHOLE dream means". Some fallacy there. Speaking generally I commit it often. Pretty amateur. Spaghetti? The dream means I want to go to Italy. Jumping to conclusions. Do you look at a real analog wall clock, or a digital watch, or digital computer time? Just curious. My theory on armchairs is they resemble a parent's lap, and we want to fulfill our imprinted childhood need of that feeling of stability we had when we sat on our parent's lap... jk lol. I need to get an armchair, I've always wanted one, a nice leather armchair that I fit snugly into. I got terrible back support on all chairs around here. But really, it's sensible actually to think about the multifactorially affected nature of dreams. Thanks for commenting.

Hi, this problem's occurred twice, I thought I would just record it as at least a means of reminding myself of it. On my windows phone 8 lumina 520 I can't support the file type linked to the download mp3 button on the premium content pages and the player on the page doesn't work on my phone either. if any windows phone users know a workaround I appreciate feedback. I'd like to just be able to download the mp3 premium content files like I can from fdrpodcasts. A solution would be helpful, thanks.

Yeah, so I'm aware I'm dreaming, then I for instance do something intentional in the dream, like search for meaning and connections. I've had that experience too, brain coming up with really long artistic abstractions. That can feel overwhelming. I wonder if it's a kind of BLARP of the unconscious trying to tell us a lot of stuff, though, and not meaningless over-reacting pre-frontal cortex action. What do you guys think it means about our conscious waking lives? Does it mean we are more conscious or less conscious? Does it mean we are more in tune with our unconscious or subconscious mind which is why we feel awake in the dream world, or does it means we are more distant and its the distance that's causing so much "conscious awareness" in our dreams, as a sort of compensation to get us to look inward? Just interested in your thoughts and experiences about it.

What does it mean to control your dream?

After hearing a recent podcast where Stefan made use of the metaphorical square circle as argument against the paradoxical omnipotence and omniscience of God, I thought him completely broke of logic, for circles (thought I) obviously don't exist...

No, it speaks to the broader hatred and lack of compassion for prison officials. That's called going too broad. Ah-heh.... O. Cliche? I agree with this author though, I don't think other people should restrain women, I think that women should restrain themselves. Because it's the initiation of force, unless it's self defense... Wonder how many hormone bathed pregnant women who are imprisoned are on drugs when incarcerated. A woman who is pregnant has a duty to protect her unborn child. If she acts in a way that could result in self-defense retaliation from others, that is potential harm that she brings about to her own child. I understand the immorality of it, though, if she weren't the initiator of force. RE White knights though, I was watching a movie from my childhood yesterday and I saw this clip in it. Thought immediately "hegelian dialectic" lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtHmh0x_czo Yeah, Hercules aint no hero to me no more.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XM-HJT8_esM&persist_app=1&app=m