Copper_Heart

It was something like that: This is not direct quote and this is not dunning-kruger. Dunning-krugger is about person who does know nothing believes he knows everything, while this one is about people loosing critical view and believing people who they do not trust in their field. Thanks in advance.

Hi, here is my analysis on what you wrote. Take into account that I maybe wrong and do not claim it to be otherwise, by this I do not want to shift responsibility but invite you to most creative associative guess work possible. May be something strikes out as some what true, but will result in something absolutely different afterwards. May be something will make you angree, even though I diligently will try to avoid anything less then respectful. Catch moments like that, there is a key in them. And then you say that you do not feel sad after your father died. More precisely you say it "did not affected" you, cynical and sarcastic... Could it be that you actually want to disconnect from something? You run away from sleep and have ADHD. ADHD is result of part that is "in control" being asleep. Strangely enough caffeine helps moderately against ADHD, because it wakes up this part of the brain. This part of the brain also controls connections between part of the brain that has emotions and that control speaking centers. Does anything of that seem useful?

I think part of the problem may be that there is part of industry that is not reflected in GDP. Like part that does not necessarily come to the end consumer! The problem of Austrians is that they systematically fail to predict the right time of collapse, but always are right in long term. Why? Because they lack data and if GDP was every thing there is about that then they would be right, but there are something that are not counted by GDP. I heard about it on Tom Woods show. Basically now there is a govt statistics out there that do count this data out. I know it is an oxymoron, but for austrians reality lags behind prediction. This value explains why. It takes an account trade that corporations do among themselves that do not directly affect consumer. Will try to find it at some point. Listened to it not so long before.

Can we just celebrate women on this sub and forget about the rest, for a day. "If you get to know it[clitoris], then you get to know me". Wow! Hasn't she got her priorities figured out!

If every thing is then nothing is! It just a day to remember and I thought it would good idea to notice this day and celebrate it, although it's not a reason for any thing. People are congratulating Hillary this day over her progressiveness and achievements. While women who are fighting for knowledge and reason, some times against themselves, are used as shields, or are marginalized and unknown. I think it is plain unjust that some body so vile is receiving praise and is celebrated, while true virtue is forgotten in the shadows? Never!

I wanted to celebrate all women in this community who are making advancements in self-knowledge, try to bring peaceful parenting to their family and world around them. It's a rough ride and it's going to become even rougher, but I hope for a safe journey for all of you, ladies, to the place and day you are learning and working for so hard to achieve. I hope that you will always have someone by your side in the dark moments to split the hardship and in the brightest to multiply the happiness. Happy women's day! You and your effort are, of course, very appreciated! ^_^ I guess Scottish laddies can celebrate too, especially the ones with skirts!!! I guess Scottish laddies can celebrate too, especially the ones with skirts!!!

Hello kerou, First you found an absolutely sane girl. Do all the possible checks so not bring anything extra into this relationship, and as far as the rest goes: I think the main problem is your feeling of guilt and regret. Notice: I am not saying they are unwarranted for, but you have to understand why do you feel that way. For that you have to understand why you had sex in first place. To give something so that you do not feel alone and judged: I am my self had a most sad first sex, that I was and still am ashamed of. I was crazy for getting laid at the time. It was in no way dangerous, but it probably was one of the most pathetic experiences in my life. Am I over it? No yet. So, to recap, having sex is not way deterrent to high quality relationship, but the reason why it happened and your shame about it are in no way any joking matter. I would say tackle them as soon as you can and feel free to share your experience! Also I am totally subscribing to what Nick have said and wont to underscore last sentence. Notice also, that you have not described any good characteristics you have, only bad ones, while portraying this girl in extremely good light. Not that you have to portray her worse, but it caught my attention regardelss.

Woman charged with murder after brandishing child’s severed head in Moscow Guess her religion? This is what liberals are fighting for, they have death wish for all of us. The amount hate I feel for the nanny and the parents is only matched for the sadness I feel for the child. As if child brides were not enough. As if cutting legs of women who want to run away was not enough. Europe will see the massacre, the only question is who will be butchered. Stand behind Trump or soon you will have nothing else to stand for. Greetings from Europe were humanity has been irredeemably lost.

I agree with your projection analogy. There for example cases of mothers who tell that there 2 month old babies are selfish or man with PTSD who fall into despair/rage when they hear children's laughter. Usually people have something happened to them that makes some part of their brain go haywire. It's not like every think is fine and dandy and then they think 'time to give em taste of hell!' Because being abused tells you that it is ok for society to abuse you and shutting down is a survival mechanism. Sadly it is not always an option, even more sad is that I squandered few opportunities. P.S. My condolences for your own problems you have with your family. It's always a sucker punch.

Hi, I think your article could be improved by adding some reason behind it and why do you think it could be useful. So that it has more of your personal view to frame the logical exercise presented here. Also I would like to add that in my country, or in any western country, it is by law forbidden to pay different wage on base of sex. So difference is not in "wages", but in "earnings".

"I care about wellbeing of all bald life forms" And the rarest Stefan:

Thanks for reading the original. I hope it is less messy now. The abuse was hard. I sometimes forget how crazy it all is... Yes, I agree with that. It was very much useless though, I was punished for just becoming slightly angry. I get negative remarks even if I breath wrong way. I agree it is necessary, but I do not know how to deal with my rage, because it was prohibited for such a long time. How to incorporate it so to speak. To people who see latest edit, I was a bit harsher on my self in previous one. I see manipulation as another useful tool in this situation. It is a logical step to become manipulative if assertion is reprimanded. I tried to use narcissistic supply as synonym to patting on the back, saying just in case. But yes I agree with you, I am always looking for fault in my self even if treated extremely unfairly. Absolute responsibility for everything. Yeah, it is very true. I wanted to get a job instead off going to university and my father said he will kick me out if I do that. Same thing happened with my aunt... The saddest thing is that after all of that I feel a grim joy for being "fucked up", because I can fault them for it. I remember I first heard this on Stefan's podcast. Thank for reminding me. I feel more in peace with my self now. Need to write it up and remember to never forget. Thank you for the kind word! It crazy and could out there. In fact I want to share this thread with my counselor, I hope it will be useful.

Work, in progress... Just beforehand, I want to say that I am currently working with a counselor and my ACE Score is 6. How to set boundaries? I am timid and unassertive. I find it difficult to argue or even express my point and end up going with the flow. I am typical nice guy, manipulative. Then I reach my boiling point and I just start screaming at people in rage, because I reached a critical low of my narcissistic supply. Transformation to Mr.Hyde happened in this circumstances: mother threw a class of water in my face when a "friend" did not stop touching me - I actually told him to stop, I am not gay and I am averse to any kind of male touch, except rare pat on the back. when I dim my peers less professional then me and they do not follow my advice. I switch from manipulative to control freak. Probably mimicking my mother. Memory #1: When I was at age of 6 my mother was mocking and bullying me and my grandfather was holding both my hands so I do not punch her and she threw a glass of water into my face and they were laughing. When helpless meets boiling rage... Is there any book, apart from RTR, that could aid me in learning how to set my boundaries? I do not want become rage addict. Can you also help me with argument against "Why do you only remember bad things, what about all good things I did for you?". It is a pure sophistry because the same was not never applied to me(UPB rules). My Woe - Need to get it out of my chest I had to chose a PC for my cousin to buy. I wanted her to go to a shop and try different models out by her self, or with me if she wanted to. She said that she had no time because she was studying to hard. Enough to buy sandals with a friend, not enough to visit a IT shop just around the corner. Yesterday I called my aunt to talk about it. She said that my cousin told her that she wants to buy a PC two days ago. After searching for a week or two some models I have found had been already sold out. I repeated to my aunt what I had told to my cousin: she needs to go and take look for herself; especially if she[aunt] wants to invest well and not buy some useless toy. Again I am being told that my cousin is studying too hard, so I told her that I can do it by myself today. To that my aunt notified me that my cousin is going to buy a dress and then she goes out with her friends. I told her that it I will do it next day and call ended. But then it hit me: no time at all for a product that she will spend next few years using, because she is "studying too hard", but just enough time to do shopping and partying. I really hate when people ask me for help but I am the one who is most emotionally involved into it. I called again and said, screamed what I think about that among other things. Few things that I noticed about myself: envy could played a part in it, because my cousin is going out, while I am a loner(or just an ancap) I got to emotionally involved probably because of my nice guys syndrome and because I wanted to be important to my family. I understand that I could have just asked for money and bought any laptop I see fit without investing so much time, nerves and making a drama. More background: I was kicked out by my parents roughly a year and half ago. It was celebrated as en expulsion of Satan from Heaven, except I was a scapegoat and now my father wants me to come back, because, guess what he got his "fair share" from my mother now he is sick. At the beginning when I came to this city my cousin and my aunt would visit me on week ends and I would go to their place twice every week. My aunt wanted me to go to a local university and bullied me into doing that. Later my grandmother confessed that my aunt wanted to prove to my mother that she is better and she will deal with this swiftly. This university has one of the worst IT faculties in country and maybe in EU: class are being read from a PowerPoint -- copy paste from Wikipedia -- and there are no books. Also it has an insane level of bureaucracy: I was not assigned till the middle of the quadrimestre and then I was downgraded from 3rd course down to the first grade. Previously I studied to that I have studied in university that had at least some world recognition. Simultaneously with me starting this university course my family stopped visiting me, because they were "studying too much". When I visited them I was treated badly: always discussing male models on TV, interrupting me -- not a "sorry", but just start talking about some other issue when I am in the middle of a sentence. Generally I feet like if it does not matter if I am there or not. At some point I was talking about about history in Muslim invasion and discovery of Americas, my aunt just told me to shut up. I did quite well, obviously, before they down graded me and even made friends with some professors. I became depressed after that and I could not keep studying anymore. It was on Christmas Eve when I told that to my aunt, extremely hard emotionally for me to do that, her answer was: that then you should have your internet cut off... She later justified it like that: "Well, I have to think about money." I found some stupid excuse and left. Not so long ago my aunt went to voyage and asked me to keep an eye on my cousin. I was talking to her almost every day as promised and was offering to come and help if needed, she said no. After returning from her voyage my aunt was not calling me because she was angry that I left university and have not found job right away(I live in Spain). So I asked my cousin if it was ok for me to call, she said that "better not, cause [aunt] is angry". After few week when I told my grandfather that I feel isolated in this city. My cousin writes to me say that this is my own fault cause I neither called them, nor visited my cousin when my aunt was away. When I resent to her "better not, cause [aunt] is angry", she said some thing along the lines "haha i indeed have said that"... I feel like they are trying to feed me bullshit all the time, fog me. Usually I am very afraid of confrontation and feel extremely scarred and depressed after but now I am very much tired of this crap.

Could you tell your story about how you started smoking and what does it mean to you?

Hi there! Progress is the most important part! If there is a honest effort and change for the better it seams like it will grow into a wonderful relationship. I will try to give you maybe some inside, although if you know about IFS you may already know about it. How much do you need here? Try to extrapolate your relationship to your relationship with your mother. Draw parallels. How much do you need her? Is there some codependency? It seams to me like your child self(crying) has awoken at some point and you are dealing with your traumas. How much is she okay with telling you about her past? How much are you ok with telling her about that. She started of with manipulation, did this changed now? Have you discussed your bad behaviors in how they are related to your childhood(both of you)? In general, do you fear to loose her? There is a reason why it is hard to apologize and why it is hard to for you to get a "better deal" in terms of your relationship. Your touchiness and her aggression seem to be related and form a pattern. Again, it is wonderful that you both are actively working on it. At some point you will grind all issues away.

Please, write later about what was your choice and how it all went!

Debt always involves risk of not being paid, which is not a violation of NAP. You are taking current debt situation in world is normal or axiomatic, but it is not. Usually people calculate risks very carefully before giving money, which has not happened during housing bubble. https://mises.org/library/libertarian-theory-contract-title-transfer-binding-promises-inalienability-0this article will give you a good solid background. This decision is made in advance by all parties. Answer is the same. Debt is like marriage in this sense. You can't just do it blindly without thinking it through. Notice how marriage and debt have became such a huge problem nowadays.

Please tell me, why do you thin are you involved and what options you yourself see as viable.

Another video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Vh0cNm49zE Here is his home page: http://www.mzuhdijasser.com/ I leave it here to the judgement of the beholder.

Hey I found another extremely good book. Bessel van der Kolk "The body keeps the score". While author is unaware of memory reconsolidation, it is still possible to see how it works out in this book. It gives a good broad outlook on history of psychology, its evolution and current state. It also explains relevant biology and gives some tips on how to counter it. And large list of things that do not work(starting with CBT).

Exactly this. Story of my life. It is shameful and it's addictive. How to think about? How to talk about? The problem is not only that we were not told about sex, the problem is also lack of trust and health in family. If an adult is afraid to talk about that, how child is supposed to deal with it? And it's starts to get worse as disfunctionality and deviation arises. It would be good to create some group/subforum here that centers specifically on sexuality and how to deal with it. It's topic related to extreme shame just in general and I think it would be a step forward. That was a great comment. Thanks. There is a book by Eric Berne "Sex in human loving", that talks more or less about this staff.

Tramp is not perfect, but he is the best candidate that can win. Bern will be impeached in year, Clinton and every one else will be Obama #2(Who was Bush #2(Who was Clinto #2(...))).

I would say it is a most essential book in self knowledge, it takes on a question much broader then PTSD, childhood trauma is one of the central topics of this book. I think that importance of authors work with PTSD allowed him more clear understanding of every other mental ailments. It actually talks about every thing PTSD, emotional abuse, general biology and it talks about how to cure/cope with that. Author himself comes with very substantial critique of DSM(http://www.dsm5.org/about/Pages/Default.aspx), subsequently he criticizes all diagnoses like ADHD, Bipolar Personality Disorder, Opposition Defiant Disorder(If patient disagrees with his psychiatrist it's clearly ODD! kafkaesque nightmare). He also introduces such C-PTSD(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder) which in my opinion return people some humanity and obliges medical staff to treat them better then a broken lamp, and it embarks much broader population, not only war survivors. Oh my God, it has such an amazing insight, but be careful there are three versions first second kindle version third This one has over 500 reviews and is marked 5 full stars Remember to use FDR affiliate link when shopping in US, UK and Canada.

I would recommend to try coherence therapy: http://coherencetherapy.org/contact.htmif anything it is completely backed up by science and replicated neurological study/ies. I am reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by van der Kolk, a world renown psychiatrist who researched PTSD, and what it comes down is that, while superficially one does indeed feel better, his body is keep suffering from physical manifestations of PTSD and alike.

You might know my opinion already, but... I think, and let me start from afar, when we buy something, it usually is something we lack. We buy food because we are hungry and don't have enough, a light bulb if one in our kitchen has broke, a text book if we luck knowledge, a painting if we desire for beauty, a mechanic's services if we lack skills. So why would one pay a psychologist? Because one lacks in mindfulness and knowledge oneself, and/or one lacks support from his environment. Mindfulness comes down to an ability to see clearly what is happening, feel it and understand it, to be finely tuned to reality. May be like a buddhist monk. Knowledge(and experience) is an easy one to explain, so I will skip it. Support is something a more then just few phrases here and there. We must be some how attuned to that person who is sitting in front of us. It is necessary to be able connect with your psychologist(thing that I am not yet able to do myself completely), otherwise his help will fall on dry soil, either rejected or outright harmful. All of this is further complected by the fact that we are not always the same. Very well illustrate by IFS, we may have different "alter egos", subtly tangled moods, incompatible desires. At any moment a psychologist has to be able to provide that what we need in this moment insight, clarity, emotional protection from whatever hides inside. Shortly, psychologist must be able to meet your needs in real time, ideally, no matter how far they go from what client could himself predicted. This means that you must not feel coldness or to much wavering, but cordiality and firmness.