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Hi @Siegfried von Walheim Fair enough. From what does courage get born from? Well, duh. Besides, thanks for reinforcing it I had always believed it. I don't think so. Routines can be gained, habits alike. Willpower is much more than industriosness. Yet again, I do agree with how that(positive routines) can be reinforced. Sure. Stubbornness is a possible positive under certain circumstances. It also can lead to the illusion of strong willpower. Your inputs are much appreciated. Thanks. Barnsley

To @neeeel I thought so, glad we agree. To your question : 1. No problem but that wasn't the question I interested to discuss. 2. No, not really. I guess that's more like flawed argument. Things existing doesn't depend on whether we believe it in the objective world. i. e. : not seeing a problem does not make it disappear (perception wise might but thats flawed too) Barnsley

Hi @Tony Great stuff, the free market is. More power to you. I personally am more trusting of immediate and sensorial evaluation, hand in hand with allowing my insights to guide me. Phone calls to hear(language use, tone...) , visiting and observing while asking a few innocent questions (70-85% communication is hardcoded non-verbally among humaaans :-), asking someone who did benefit from the interaction with said person. Like I said more power to Tony, nevertheless whoever is reading this should watch / listen to the breakdown Stefan Molyneux did on the subject. Because he gives great pointers that will save you time and improve your efficiency in the decision making. All the best, Barnsley

Hi @Will 001 I tend to disagree here, given there are a great number of sick (unhealthy physically) people who are shining sources of examples in 'healthy' willpower, especially those whom possess it regardless of the obvious drive to get healthy. i.e.: provable prior track record. On the other hand if I extrapolate and take your meaning regarding mental health, it's pretty much the direction I believe the answer lies. Although I wish to dig deeper to reveal more layers of causation still. Can't argue with that, well said I believe...(me too). I'm strongly inclined all forms of 'meco system work', (nitpicking, pardon) would use a rather more positive language to contribute changes in the unconscious (in order to maintain, continuously enable a healthy dose of curiosity) but in essence I think we generally 'see eye to eye'. Furthermore you have also sold me on the idea of checking out the resources. Your constructive comments are much appreciated, Have a good one, Barnsley

Hi @neeeel I might be wrong (doubt it pretty strongly, but hey it's a short quote..), isn't what you are proposing a circular argument? Barnsley

Dear @meetjoeblack (Before I start: I had noticed a long time ago but never thought why I'd mention. Until now. One of my favourite movies is your nick, coupled with Thomas N. - Were I a Christian, I would certainly claim he had help from angels composing such etheric melodies... and others Green mile, Road to... etc. All of which are rather melancholic, upstiring, hopelessly romantic, reaching to the depths than uplifting, cheerful or superficial. Hmm. ) Maan, you shared a considerable chunk of your inner workings! I enjoyed... nope. It was fascinating, cerebral, uprooting and touching at times to read. I also got closer to narrowing down some (amateur) theories of mine in the piecing together process. /stating something obvious while shaking one's head, because it feels unjust./ - Shiiit. That's yet again a proof why life is unrelenting, throwing stuff at us constantly without much consideration of the 'navigator' or the 'state of his/her ship'. Sorry man, that (won't pretend I can even faintly guess of it's entirety) IS tonnes to take in considering any of it's ramifications. Although it isn't impossible, given it's clusterf#* nature I can imagine not everyone 'learning to be a phoenix and sadly burn up', because integrating so much & so quickly, joining the two life experiences together to end up with one singularity can only be haaard, way harder than any challenge I could think of right now. I will be blunt, not inconsiderate or intended 'dick'. I find you sympathetic enough to give it to you straighter than in some other circumstances. (while I only wish to enable more understanding with my clumsy attempts at times, hope you forgive me and/or push back when necessary) My observation of (having read at least 5 posts - and I only state facts by saying they were looong...relatively since my guess you could have easily tripled it.) a recurring undertone and motif that I've picked up on, could be summed up as: 'Boiling anger at the stomach of a wearily rumbling mountain, making the locals wonder day in day out whether an implosion is coming, still a few hopes if perhaps just perhaps it might go away. Even though it has been a while now and those who are encouraging defense against the inevitable seems to be more right as there's NOT been much subduing for a looong time. Locals are unable to accept live in constant threat, their once beautiful island apparently turning against them and no-one can justify why would their gods do such a thing.' I am perfectly aware of me making a statement like this does not mean I'm in any shape correct, &, =, knowing that I could be wrong here. I wanted to tell you my experience of you. Questions : Am I wrong to think that you live your life partially as an angry person, at times seemingly endless source of it? Could it be possible to attain a new state of mourning and if so perhaps there's a more complete integration (absolving) opening up new doors to a less 'rocky' path? How could one be sure to dismiss approaches or verify the truth to either of the two questions? Sincerely, Barnsley

Hi @Siegfried von Walheim When the possibility of upward mobility in terms of r/K ('r' really) comes up I can't help but get reminded of similar challenges people wishing to solve at the issue of life choices & I.Q. correlation down to seemingly the 'immovable object vs. irresistible force' paradox. So far, no one could 'engineer/find a design for a bridge with sufficient reach, enough'. [non argument, but may I add.. 'F' determinism!] I've only seen K deterioration, repressed K regeneration (my line of thinking at the second one, if it requires gradual counterforce = escalation, it has to be evidence of a strong property, not a transition, hence the clue). 'r' conversion? Seriously doubt it. Sort of a square circle... I want to be wrong, though. Discard hope, has nothing to do with it, 'F' determinism. One day someone will figure it out... or not. Simbolically or not, I can't be a Christian as of yet (don't think of futures) and don't care for it, even if by bettering oneself that means it's a net benefit for the Christians included. Aren't we sharing constituting, life giving whatever? It's only logical to start with the care and respect that prevents destruction. (=be smart, or accept being threatened by others) Can be called humility or short sightedness, whatever... Guess if heaven existed, it won't become a worse place when some of us works harder regardless of believing or not & whether it made any difference. I never considered negative motivation / untangible goals efficient anyway(=sustainable). I'm repeating but with a twist... We stopped being born a long time ago. What if there's the '0' ahead of us, ever closer? Barnsley

Yellow, Sounds like you've made up your mind. Wishing you all the best! Barnsley

[Any indicators how to become fancier on formatting? Nevermind, non-essential.] Could it be(?), Willpower requires integration at heart, because there's the certainty, the kind of which is... is. (there goes my linguistic reach, hopefully gets through. It's how I see it.) As for the beneficial, In order to possess willpower it's greatly beneficial to experience fear and experiment with courage. So people know 'what direction my wind was blowing from'. Feel free to hack at it, if you feel the need for it. Barnsley

Hi @Mishi2 While I see and partially agree with the source (my failing really, I just guess there's something deeper than an arbitrary 'want'. As in = Don't intend to belittle your wording though.) I would like to dig deeper. As of the beneficial, can't say I disagree other than plain and simply 'fair enough' and 'certainly can't go wrong'. Appreciate your input, @Mishi2 Have a good one! Barnsley p. s. : Trying to get somewhere here, no disrespect or talking down from a high horse here, men/ladies! I'd be certainly called out for, given the makup of this fine community! You bet I would! :-}

Hi @Boss Only in name, would be glad to hear you're professionally too, if applicable/reported likewise. Thanks a bunch, Barnsley

Hi @ofd Your recommendation(piece of reading) is noted and I will have a look once I understand why I should, pardon my hesitation. My aim was for the source, obvious generalisations aren't so. (Reading back my comment I assume it's worth to clarify...) Causation, depending on. (Reckon you get my meaning.) Nevertheless, considered the input. Have a good one, Barnsley

Hi @meetjoeblack Thanks for writing to my questions. Not sure how to follow-up hereafter so for now I'll just respond to what you're asking. I'm in my early 30s, male - apache attack helicopter. Giggles. I'm not married, was before once. I can see it happening again but have a great deal of testing/'knowing' to do, prior. Currently, making progress laying the never lain foundation of my life - being centered, while improving industriousness simultaneously. (So glad, I took the red pill and internalised the 'Pay me now or pay me later, but you will pay me!' principle... otherwise I'd be still probably busy at upholding a collection of cognitive dissonances.) I went into it(marriage) due to my own unexamined false set of hopes, avoidance and lack of guidance /bad guidance. Also, to a great degree out of hunger for a true connection, never had...and I lied to myself because I was impatient and ignorant with my own needs. Luckily I exited before having a child and wow (!) how quickly my previous relationships deteriorated with little to no effort. Feels a lot lighter too. Importantly this taught / will always remind me of the values of virtues/significance, their lack of. I don't feel like dating but that also means I'm more into R.T.R. which has the possibility of crossover... I'll see if I'm ready to go over the bridge, once I get there. Priorities come first for me. I know that there will be fantastic opportunity, I can tell I would crumble if I missed it out of not having prepared/done what I could. The way I see it, 'I already got two written warnings'... Am smart enough to stop making the same mistakes over and over and finally work with my 'meco' system. Reason & evidence, hard work at therapy... etc. worth it all, especially when knowing "we are all slowly dieing!". Would you believe after having read me that I'm a pretty upbeat guy, all things considered? Barnsley

Hi @Crusader1986 I'm gonna be blunt (told/keep telling myself the same) Are you conscious of the simple yet unchangeable fact (strong and serious voice) "That you are DIEING?!" If you need a lengthier version, make sure you watch this a couple of times : Sincerely, hope you follow up accordingly, Barnsley

Hi there, (part of a series of essentials) Complete the sentences with what you think is most important, then in the second with what you think helps a great deal. Willpower requires...., because... and In order to possess willpower it's greatly beneficial... I'm looking forward to seeing your inputs. Barnsley

I think so too. (non argument :-p) Furthermore I particularly think this is a very good point you are making (would up your whole comment here as a whole but can't, yet...) Which is the same as staying fit for your wife from the men's perspective as it's a ROMANTIC relationship but based on virtues. Have a good one, Barnsley

Hi @shirgall What success have you seen with the 'distorted reality draws those closer who seek fakery and it's consequences ' argument? additional: Sure, looking after oneself and occasional, reasonable boosts down to social events, interviews. (As in no one assumes ppl wear suit and ties all the time.) Regards, Barnsley

Hi @Marco 1. It's not moral (bribe) can't be just as 'white lies' can't serve a purpose in aiming at greater good...an excuse just it is. 2. I can totally understand why people do it, same as in the sustaining of sub-servient dynamics in less than honest relationships. 3. Having said that, going about it is a different matter (or should be thought through more carefully) a. it's an illusion that anyone gets to change 'the rules of a game' after having been accepted to participate... funny, but it's consistent to expect backlash upon trying. b. not knowing prior to getting into the situation doesn't mean one gets to be excluded from personal responsibility 4. You do what you can to survive in a tough scenario but once you are capable to move on, reproducing the same flawed action clearly states you are not doing your best... to put it gently. 5. poetic question, with sprinkles of sympathy = C'mon maan, a society with a generally low I.Q.!!! - How that got slipped by? How strong a bubble needs to be in order to insulate from the plethora of red flags? Hope I added value, Barnsley

Hi @GlenWillson Why should anyone allocate their precious time to read what you'd produced? How is is it unique from any other 'truths' and what value does it represent? Regards, Barnsley

Hi Mel_NAP, I like how you shine the spotlight on what's delivering actual progress. I'm having an issue (the topic reminded me) of the effects of 'people respond to incentives'. What do you think, A., how should one distinguish between (the women who are doing this) apparent virtues down to feared/experienced negative consequences vs. an internalised drive towards virtues from the get-go? B., Does the two differ (if we exclude those women who later revert/veer off) on the long run scenario? C., Could it be (no child but divorced) that women who had a brush with danger and came to realise the dangers associated will be more rooted in upholding the new conclusions, therefore being more dedicated on the long run? (I'm basing my assumption on how the human mind evolved to be risk-averse, remembering what's potentially dangerous easier.) Regards, Barnsley

Very well said! You're highlighting the important ideals that will result in a strong, long lasting relationship. Furthermore it's most beneficial to a much needed healing in communities. I would also add, that in order to achieve all of that and not digress : 1. philosophy and self knowledge is a must, the younger/aided by parents the better. (peaceful parenting, career choices of the sexes respectively to age, inoculation to outgrown determinism) 2. Although I think starting early is better, no one should have faith based on hope and everyone ought to remember "emotions don't sustain relationships, otherwise everyone who is happy on their wedding day would stay married...". Barnsley

Hi mgggb, In my humble opinion it can be summed up as verbalising what we all know at an unconscious level, using archetypical stories supplemented with objectively aimed analytical narration that leaves the listener contemplate and derive further conclusions. Plus it's well aligned with the current zeitgeist, giving people the much desired substances for the rediscovery of virtues. He's, among other things, helping us get a better grip at understanding the story of humanity. Anyone who watches him will feel often enough, such stories are within all of us, have been. Regards, Barnsley

Additionally, we don't even have the ability to exercise ourselves respecting our freedom of our own thoughts. i.e.: 'Don't think of an apple!'

Hi HasMat, The part I quoted looks, walks and talks like a free-will to me in general, perhaps within the ability of one to think whatever. Am I mistaken? If it's so, while it's nice and dandy, shouldn't it be little importance as actions that follow and interactions define what is being dealt with. (i.e.: to my knowledge, people are unable to read minds) Have you read the full U.P.B. book? Barnsley

And the next logical step follows... Thousands and thousands of people participating in the protest (the estimate of the city's law keepers is around 750 K people max) Catalans on the streets of Barcelona Barnsley