Stephen C

I'm not sure there's anything to get rid of. I think it's worth aiming it at the person who it belongs to.

Does self hatred help you stop doing what you do?

Hi. Please please please aim that self hatred at who it belongs to, sounds like your father.

Stef has put forward the same point himself. There is a podcast where he tells a caller that if you own a business you have to incentivize people to come in and shop. Going out in front of the store and yelling at people to come in, or grabbing them and pulling them into the store, or guilt tripping people will not lead to success for the store. In the future everyone will just stay the heck away from the store all together, so as to not have to deal with that store owner.

There's no reason why a person should not feel what they feel. If they do then they do. If they do feel X then they should feel X.Like, if I say to someone that feels fear around ladybugs "You should not feel fear around ladybugs, they are harmless. They eat mites. They are kind of cute. Look, there's a pokemon modeled after a ladybug". That doesn't change the fact that the person does feel fear around ladybugs. I might not know why, and I might not feel fear around ladybugs, and I might not want them to feel fear around ladybugs. They do feel fear around ladybugs, isn't that proof that they should?Scott, that's an awesome Avatar picture. Did you draw it yourself?

Ok, so if the child starts hitting you, sisters, strangers or friends. I'd be interested to hear what he would say. Maybe you can ask him "If someone started to hit and attack you, and I was there, is there anything you would like me to do in that situation?" I'm not saying this is the answer. I'm genuinely curious what he would say.

I just fell onto the ceiling.

Juan, welcome. Thank you for sharing yourself. What I left in the quote above is a fantastic insight on your part. What you would say if you read your own post as someone else. I think this may be what is contributing to not achieving what you want. I say "You don't have to do anything. You know what you want. You don't have to do anything" That being said, I know how difficult it is to carve out a new pathway called "You don't have to do anything", especially when there is already a pathway called "JUST FUCKING DO IT" so deeply carved out already. I wish you the very very best, and I'm sorry this is troubling you. Hey Stephen, So thanks for the reply. I appreciate what you said, "You don't have to do anything. You know what you want. You don't have to do anything". The difference in perspective challenged me a bit at first. When I read it, I thought to myself, well duh that’s common sense stuff like what I said. I had to look at it a couple of times to understand it. The difference from what I can understand is that the way you say it, it is voluntary. The things that I want not only do not have to be sought after, but because there is no aggression of myself feeling like I have to make myself do it, I can without guilt or added pressure seek that which I desire without being so anxious about it. More importantly I ought to not have talked that way to myself. If I had read this like you, and responded the way I did to myself, I would be cruel to that person, and in that case it is me. I need to try to not be so aggressive in my own criticism and self-worth. I hope that makes sense, and more importantly reflects what you said. I appreciate your advice and your willingness to express yourself. It’s something I'll try working on. By repeating "you don't have to do anything" throughout the day whenever I feel anxious, kind of helps calm me down a bit. So I really want to thank you not only for response you gave, but for the actual benefit it has been just from reading your post. I hope all is well for you Stephen. Thanks, Juan Big smile on my face, Juan. I'm glad you find my response useful. There's one thing I would like to point out or suggest as a possibility from what you said above. The Part of you that says "JUST FUCKING DO IT!", that's not you. This is something you HAD TO internalize to survive. This Part of you is amazing, and talented and hardworking and does it's best to keep you safe, so I appreciate this Part of you greatly. It wants you to get things done, but it's approach is not effective. It's not an effective parenting or teaching behavior to tell children or students to "JUST FUCKING DO IT". It may seem to work for the parent/teacher in the short term, but it's not an effective long term strategy at all. Perhaps you and this Part can find another way to get things done, but without a doubt this Part is to be well respected and understood. Hopefully that makes some sense. Oh yes, thank you Juan. not everything is well for me, but I have a pretty good ratio of wellness going on.

Yes, Pablo. Right on. When I see the picture I think "Going through the emotions".

^^ What he said ^^

I thought the DBZ reference was perfect /emoticons/emotion-2.gif Perfectly disrespectful? It would of been 5.5 have and 1.5 have not, but one of my posts which i thought was respectful of the topic was removed by a mod, possibly because I mentioned his name and a post he made in this thread. it seems he's deleted his own post as well. UNLESS, I'm goin' nutty which is totally possible. Oh also, check you out! 1265 posts! Going for that 9000! I got some catching up to do.

Do you believe that your posts have been respectful of this topic? 4.5 have 1.5 have not.

A philosophical philosopher philostalker. Hi, Pablo. Congratulations on finishing up your undergrad degree, it must be a relief. To celebrate we could...put another shrimp on the barbie? I know, I know...I took it there...couldn't resist. Welcome.

Oh, whoops. I'm sorry about that, Bishal. I didn't mean to dodge. I was not paying close enough attention to the thread. This is a great question you're asking, in my opinion. Thank you for reasserting yourself, that was very helpful. What can be done with and for a child after 6 years of exposure to a certain type of you? I'm thinking about this, but I think the answer is the same. What Cheryl suggested. I very much sympathize with the challenge you have on your hands. I want to give you a show of admiration for bringing this to the forums, obviously this is very important for you, which is wonderful, in my opinion. I will think more about this, if I can think of anything useful I will contribute it to the thread and see if it's of any use. In the meantime I'm sure other people on the boards will contribute their thoughts. Hopefully by the end of this conversation you'll have exactly what you need.

Then how do you suggest I find the exact podcast where Stefan talks about the topic? Search bar, scroll/scan through, picking around have done me justice. You're right, it can be daunting, there are a lot of podcasts... but, not over 9000. Sorry, I'll respect this topic from here on out too.

By finding dragon balls? Please be respectful of the topic instead of acting like a troll. I will be more respectful of the topic from here on out.

You want me to listen to over 2000 podcasts to find out in more depth what was the reasoning behind the decission to close a specific thread? Please be reasonable. Ahh, you pulled one of those on me. A whatchamacallit. [surrender] I never suggested you listen to over 2000 podcasts.

Children have to internalize their parents and caregivers. I think it's something that occurs automatically. That's a great thing, it's a fantastic oppurtunity to be someone great for them to internalize. Be someone that they have inside their mind that helps them become more of who they already are.

I can't speak for you...well, I could, but that'd be nonsense. I absolutely need to keep track of the number of posts I have made, yes. I need to know when I go over 9000, of course. Do you think the need to know when you have posted over 9000 posts is a greater need than the need for a lack of hierarchy that could arise from having a postcount? I also find it interesting that you would want to know when you go over 9000 posts. Do you regard it as your power level? Absolutely. Certainly. So you regard yourself as more powerful than other people with less posts like me? Does this power difference create any preconceptions in you and if so, do you feel those are accurate preconceptions? I think the more posts I have the less power I have, because I'm spending all my time posting on the forums instead of going out and getting powerful.

Juan, welcome. Thank you for sharing yourself. What I left in the quote above is a fantastic insight on your part. What you would say if you read your own post as someone else. I think this may be what is contributing to not achieving what you want. I say "You don't have to do anything. You know what you want. You don't have to do anything" That being said, I know how difficult it is to carve out a new pathway called "You don't have to do anything", especially when there is already a pathway called "JUST FUCKING DO IT" so deeply carved out already. I wish you the very very best, and I'm sorry this is troubling you.

Listen to the podcasts and find out.

I can't speak for you...well, I could, but that'd be nonsense. I absolutely need to keep track of the number of posts I have made, yes. I need to know when I go over 9000, of course. Do you think the need to know when you have posted over 9000 posts is a greater need than the need for a lack of hierarchy that could arise from having a postcount? I also find it interesting that you would want to know when you go over 9000 posts. Do you regard it as your power level? Absolutely. Certainly.

What do fish have to do with Hitler?

We the users, the ones with a poscount. Do we really need to keep track of the number of posts we have made? Does it serve any purpose other than to create preconceptions about the user? I can't speak for you...well, I could, but that'd be nonsense. I absolutely need to keep track of the number of posts I have made, yes. I need to know when I go over 9000, of course.

Holy guacamole, you got all that from what the OP said? That's pretty awesome.