MysterionMuffles

A monogomous relationship. Whose definition of functional? The majority of FDR's definition of functional. A monogomous reationship. How is going behind her fiancee's back to sleep with you considered functional? What is healthy and wonderful about keeping you secret from him? Say if she chose to be faithful to you and break up with this man--what's stopping her from cheating on you the same way? I'd prefer that you ponder on these questions on your own time rather than try to justify your relationship with this woman. Again, it's already bad enough that you tried to reframe my thread to be about James and Josh's sex lives involving tattoo'd and obese women when you're the only one who has provided evidence of having one of your own. If you spent more time introspecting on your selfs, and less time on thought expiraments and counter arguments on forums........you just might Learn something about yourself Learn to communicate more effectively Learn to be more honest and direct Take responsibility for your actions and relationships Stop making lists and probably get to the point more often

I'm not saying your contempt is misplaced. I'm just pointing out that you have it. I'm really sorry for how the woman treated you when it came to your decision about living there. But what have you learned in all this? What attracted you to these people? Why did you think they would the right type of people to live with? What signs can you only see in hindsight, or what signs did you ignore that they wouldn't be the right people to spend time with? You can simply say you take responsibility for your interactions and associations with these two seperate women, but where's your reasoning and proof behind it? I can spend all day talking about how much I own a jetpack, but unless I show some pictures, I'm just blowing smoke. (Or not, if I don't have a jetpack) And oh, so...because you're reading the works of a certain man, your language is evolving? And I can't comprehend it because I'm not reading it as well? What is this? Fog insurance? By that I mean, making sure I'll never really understand what you're saying because you're going to continue to find ways to make it harder for people to understand you? Why does this even matter anymore? Why should I answer this when my real concern is your inability to answer a question directly. First I asked if you've had personal experience with tattoo'd and pierced individuals, but you answered with an impossible lifeboat scenario expirament--all because I didn't ask in a way that you liked. You spent a whole month derailing my thread, making it about James and Josh's sexual experience with tattoo'd and obese women (when obesity wasn't even a topic here), when it turns out that it's YOU who has had significantly dysfunctional relationships with tattoo'd women. This was just supposed to be about how tattoos and piercings were signs of trauma. That's it. Not women and sex. Finally you answer the original question a month later, and then when asked how you FEEL about engaging in an affair with an engaged woman, you share another experience with another tattoo'd woman--yet your anecdote has much more to do with her skilled boyfriend. MMX2010, you can say whatever clever intellectual thing you want about me, and ascribe motives or weaknesses on my part that probably aren't even there--but I honestly cannot communicate with you any further. I need to disengage from you. I feel my enjoyment of this thread has been significantly reduced when I read your posts. It's no longer what about what it was supposed to be about much thanks to you.

Well thank you for answering my question from last month, but if you're just gonna skirt around my questions and not be direct, I'm not gonna pretend I'm having a discussion with you. Nowhere in your anecdotes do I read anything of you taking any ownership over your association with these individuals. Actually, all I see is a lot of implicit and somewhat explicit contempt for them. Actually...now that I think about it, this recent post seems to have nothing to do with your experience with a tattoo'd woman, rather a snapshot of her relationship with her military boyfriend. And most of it is about him and how skilled he is at certain things anyway! MMX...I'm sorry for the leading questions, but do you have trouble being direct? Do you always have to intellectualize and cloud things with thought expiraments and seemingly non-sequitor anecdotes? It could just be a fault on my part, but I find you incredibly difficult to read and follow.

Then that's really scary because how can you possibly have friends who are friends with your children? How do you know who's safe or not? I read that predators groom children right under the noses of their parents before they strike. I forgot where I read all this, I'm gonna have to find it again, but I remember reading that if you force your children to have to hug and kiss every last relative--even strange ones they don't even see often if at all--it will set them up to be susceptible to predators because the children are taught to never say no to uncomfortable instincts to not hug or kiss somebody.

How ironic...that's all I gotta say. Reported. Let's report this video off of Youtube, please. I know there's plenty more out there, but before there's a million views and comments supporting what this douchebag just did. Thankfully the two comments that are there are against what he did. A child of a peaceful parent wouldn't even be drawn to joining a gang.

https://www.facebook.com/DramaFever/posts/10152597903126961 I wanted to know what you guys thought of this video where a mother teaches her daughter how to say no to strange men. There's no reasoning behind it, and at face value it's a nice sentiment but something is still off about it to me... I also want to open up the discussion on other ways a parent can help shield them from predators. Public, online, or even in private predators.

I concur. Because I have another instance I want to share. This time didn't invlolve so much physical force than it did verbal abuse. A mother and preteen daughter were in the store, and from the corner of my eye, I can already sense she was nagging her daughter and disallowing her from buying anything. In fact, the mother was buying a bunch of shit JUST FOR HERSELF! When they finally got to my cash register, the mother was being really rude to her daughter, bopping her on the head for...some reason I can't remember. I was just busy ringing her items through. At some point, the daughter picked up a lanyard and started looking at it, and her mom says "oh no, we're not buying that. We don't have anymore time or money to buy things for you." (Even though they'd been in the store for 20 minutes) And at that point I had enough of her so I told the mother, "it's alright, she's just taking a look. Doesn't mean she has to buy it." Me saying that, I suppose, allowed the mother to allow the daughter to take a look at a shirt that was hung up on the high wall. I walked over to the wall with the daughter, noticing that the mother stayed at the cash counter to wait for her. When I took down the shirt off the rack, I took the opportunity to talk to the daughter. I said, "I'm really sorry that your mother treats you this way. I can't believe she won't let you get anything for yourself. How old are you? 12? Yeah you got 6 more years before you can move out and live on your own." Then I felt that I had to choke on my sympathy speech because the mother crept up behind us to tell her daughter that they had to get going, and even apologized for her daughter for wasting my time--when it's my goddamn JOB to show items to customers even for future reference. I don't know why...but this instance irritated me more than the one I originally posted about. This mother was so overbearing and rude to her daughter everywhere they went to the store. My store's main demographic is youngsters from 13-30 and this mother was completely ignoring her daughter's desires all for her own. It made me uncomfortable with upselling, because when I did, the mother got yet another thing for herself instead of her daughter. Total BS!

It's been a while since I've taken a look at this thread, but MMX thank you for sharing... I just wonder; how do you feel about partaking in affair like this? Wouldn't you want form a more functional relationship with someone who is single?

Lol yep

Praise be to you, kahvi, for backing me up with a ton of rationality in a comments section that so desperately needs it. It always feels very unnerving and isolating when I'm the only person in these videos speaking of something in defense of children. I don't seek out videos like this, but one or two others ones I received a lot of flack for simply being in the defense of children's emotions. Such horrible people plague the Youtube comment sections. I liked when you were only allowed to use your real name, it greatly reduced the amount of keyboard kourage.

what country would that be?

No one said anything about using state forces to punish the mother in this instance or any other child abuse instance... What qualms do you have with mean to the mean?

Actually I did show empathy towards the mother's tiredness. I don't see why you're commited to defending her when it was the child who was being forcefully grabbed and shoved into a stroller. Of course the mother is gonna be met with condemnation. Screw her tiredness. When my neice was under my care, I didn't get to grab her and force her into her stroller when I was tired. No one is saying you're being apathetic towards the child, but it does seem you're holding the mother to higher regard of empathy when she is the one who is supposed to have more control of her actions than her child. The little girl was simply playing in front of a mirror, not causing any damage to store property. Sure, she was in my way though, but I could have easily knelt at her level and excused myself through, or her mother could have done that instead of being so aggressive. Hell, she could have even picked her up with affection as opposed to aggression.

Yes I know...although she was the one he beat, I still think this happened to you because that's something you shouldn't see as a child...

Damn that's horrible...and I don't think you can accomplish anything with texts alone. She can easily ignore them. You need to sit her down and have an actual discussion about this. I totally sympathize in your situation. It's hard to think of everyone's best interests when you're babysitting a child of an abuser.

Not sure if this is a good idea. I hear you're supposed to appeal to the parent's self interest and empathize with the frustration they're having, which most likely has nothing to do with their children. The putting them on the spotlight thing sounds like straight out of a movie, but I think in real life, the shame of anyone at all confronting them is powerful enough because they haven't experienced it before. I could be wrong, but I would not suggest making a scene. I've only intervened once so I don't know... Have you tried this approach yourself? And how did it turn out, Nathan?

Is this something you've tried? I agree with the social shaming aspect, but I wonder how effective this might really be.

I don't think my one report to Youtube will be enough, because whoever runs the flagging system might not see it as child abuse, sadly...would you all like to help get it taken down? It's sadly the most watched video on that woman's channel.

It has both and it's not the perfect love story. It has some typical rom-com formulas, but there's also some unique aspects included other than the telepathy concept.

I really hate your dad, FM, for this instance and many others you've shared with me

And I would get the sense that even from just your actions and careful, they might become more paranoid about enacting more sadism in public. Hopefully teaching them that if they can control themselves there, then they should be able to at home. But one can only hope...

Oh man it's gotten to the point of following to make sure...how did you feel doing that? I would be worried about being seen as a stalker or something, but forget my vanity if it comes to protecting a child, right?

can we please get this video flagged and removed off Youtube? I finally watched it in full and I got a strong physiological response from the yelling and the demanding of the mother. When the girl was crying "sorry" and "I love you" I can tell she wanted to be heard, but her mother continued to bitch out. Furthermore, the dumb people in the comments is the main reason why I don't scroll down on Youtbe videos, but this time I let the cat of my curiousity get killed by such dumbassery...can we please all flag this and get it removed? I know there's more videos like this where parents record their children's most vulnerable and embarassing moments when they could've gotten love and attention, but this particular video really needs to go.

I discovered this marvelous gem about two people who see through each other's eyes, and feel what the other feels, despite of being time zones apart. They develop a personal bond sharing all their darkest deepest secrets and childhood histories while living two seperate lives, surrounded by people who can not offer them a connection like they have.

That is short and sweet, and quite true... Do you think it's wise to also put forth the argument that using their size and power to control someone infinitely smaller than them is abusive? Or furthermore, asking a mother if they would allow their husband to treat them in such a way? Is that too stand off-ish, or warranted?