MysterionMuffles

The lyrics to this are awesome Who's to say what defines who we are? Our actions or our visible scars? Fuck those who judge my character without a spoken word Or put their faith in only what they've heard You dig deeper and the lines become a blur So you squint till you're blind Rest those tired eyes and vacant mind There's a raven pacing the floor Outside your cellar door That same word he spoke before To judge me nevermore It's all part of the plan We come alive when they put our heads in the sand Everybody wants to know what you've got in store for them Laughing at all your failures, all your futures Everybody wants to use your life as a catalyst Reliving all your failures, all your futures Last words are the only thing to be remembered Net worth and a list of all your crimes This world is only as big as the space that you expand your mind So give it up give it up for the failures Give it up for the ones who tried! It's not enough not enough to live up to the things that others wanted for your life There's a raven pacing the floor outside your cellar door That same ghostly bird of yore he haunts me nevermore It's all part of the plan we come alive when they put our heads in the sand It's a shame I even come out of your mouth Do you ever even stop to think about what a waste of time and energy you spend When it's all perspective in the end? If each star is a sun dying and burning one by one inside this massive cosmic black Far too expansive just to grasp and knowing we created time and this grand theory of an end well then its really just a theory maybe things have always been. Everybody wants to know what you've got in store for them Laughing at all your failures, all your futures Everybody wants to use your life as a catalyst Reliving all your failures, all your futures

You are your butt!

You bring up a valid point. Sorry for downvoting you. I felt offended at first, but I understand where you're coming from. These parents are communicating in a contrived way, so there might not be anything wrong with me contriving my response. Thanks for the tip, that sounds like a great idea! I was very neutral in "scuuuuse me" to the little girl and the mother must have taken that as an annoyance on my part, when it really wasn't. I don't appreciate being managed like that. But you're right, flashing a smile might most likely tear some defenses down. And thank you for pointing out that it's only my first time and I'm bound to be rusty at it. I almost wish I never have to intervene, but again, I work in a mall which is home to abusive parents hassling their kids around--so I would like to get better at this over time.

No it's from experience, witnessing, and people having told me their own intervention stories. Abusive parents seem to have generic responses that all sound the same. I wouldn't want to write a flow chart because I don't want my interventions to be contrived. That's interesting...but I think RTR should be saved for close relationships, functional or historical. How do you think a parent would respond to RTRing like that?

That's so true!!! I didn't even think of it that way. It was a very chastising way to portray truth. Damn.

Yeah that's an answer I've conjured just a few days before a call in show where Stef said something similar. I've always wanted to say "I was just a kid only 9 years ago and I know exactly how I would want to be treated if I misbehave or make a mistake. This is not how it would be."

Thanks for the kind words you guys... Honestly, is there a handbook for abusive parents that give them all these generic defensive responses? That's a very good way of putting it. My actual credibility in the field would be my babysitting experience with my neice. I don't know if there'll be a next time--but I work at the mall, which is the cespool of crappy parents--so maybe I could mention that? I'm ready to hear "oh but 2 years of BABYSITTING is NOTHING compared to having your own kids--" To which I'd say something like "would you let your spouse treat you this way?" I don't want to have a canned response...and frankly, at the heat of those kinds of moments, I can't even conjure up a canned response anyway. I kind of wish I spoke a little more to the woman who said agreed with me, maybe she could have helped me? I will safely assume that she has her own kids that she's treated far better than the aggressive woman. She looked about the age to have adult children who are probably well adjusted.

At the beginning of my shift at work this morning, there was a toddler playing with the mirror of the backroom door. I just said "excuse me," playfully, and all of a sudden her mother yanks her off the door saying, "I've had enough with you!" I walk in to go and look for something for a customer, and when I come out, that same mother is blocking my only way back to the counter and while I stand there and wait, she says "I'm sorry," sweetly to me, but then goes to start pointing fingers at her toddler struggling to get out of the stroler her mother is cramming in, and continues to nag at her. Me: "You better be sorry because you shouldn't be so rough with her." Her: "Yeah well I'm really tired, and we've been shopping for hours." Me: "I totally get that and understand, but treating her this way is only gonna frustrate her further, making things that much harder for you." Her: "Do you want to pick her up and carry her for the rest of the day?" I don't know what to say and just shoot a quizzical look at her. Then she gives the typical abuser question to me: "do you have your own kids?" And this is where I feel a bit jaded about. I know if I said no, she would be like, "then wait til you have your own kids." So I decided to lie and say, "yes I do." I'm not proud of this, but at this point I wanted to get expiramenta and see what would happen. And she retorts: "then you worry about your own kids and I'll worry about mine." To which I just had enough of it, exchange a quick glance with her son who I hope took something from watching that interaction. But I'll never know. My regret is not staying in there longer to talk to the kids and empathize with them and saying anything further... I walk through and on my way back to the cash register, another woman stops me and says, "I agree with you," with a lot of concern painted over her face. I tell her thanks and then get back to work, feeling shaken up and barely able to speak to the next customer coherently. This was my first child abuse intervention outside of my family and it was scary...does anyone have any feedback on how I handled that? I think I could have done waaaay better than that...

infuriating...especially the dumbasses in the comments section. I think they piss me off more than the actual mother in the video because it's their support of abuse that allows this video to stay on Youtube as well as garner so many views. Seeing this was the first time I've felt like actually commenting in the Youtube videos. It's been a long time since I wanted to engage, I'm gonna have to ponder as to why I was possessed to keyboard warrior...knowing full well what kind of dumbass responses I'm gonna get from people who excuse abuse. I'll take it on. I don't care.

Oh man...you gotta use what's available to you I suppose. He's armed. You're not. Those women were more likely to listen to him than you because he was black and armed and in a position of "authority." If you're white, I can see how it may have turned ugly if they placed the race card on you. good for you for stopping it in anyway you can. Sucks the cop didn't do anything, though...no surprise there.

I'm surprised this hasn't been brought up yet: The Breakfast Club is a monumental teen movie from the 80's about a group of 5 unlikely who go to detention together on a hilarious and heartbreaking weekend. There's the Princess, the Jock, Nerd, Basket Case, and everyone's favourite Rebel--and together they try to cope with the oppressive supervision of their principal. Each person has their own reason for being in detention, and what I think is so fundamental about this movie is that it explores each character's issues at home as a way to substantiate why they exhibit certain behaviours. Here's a very touching scene that I often reference at work when somebody buys a Breakfast Club t-shirt, I act it all out in jest, and the customers love it--but when you see it in the context of the overall movie, it's quite...moving. It has a tiny setting with a very tiny amount of characters, but I think that's what makes this movie so great. It's all about the dialogue and how the characters connect with eachother individually, as well as a whole. The limited space and cast gives great focus to them so up close that you'll find yourself identifying with each stereotype even if you are far removed from it in real life. Enjoy!

I'm gonna take a huge step back from this thread now and see if I even have any desire to respond to you in the future, MMX. If I do, I'm gonna be in a better place to do it. But right now I don't think anything I respond with will be productive because either you or I, or probably both of us are emotionally compromised to reply rationally. So I'm gonna follow this thread and see what others may want to add, but I will no longer be participating in the discussion actively, just a spectator.

YES I love that movie! It kinda slowed down by the 3rd act but man what an incredible premise. I love how he started making up God, that was very logical at an emotional level for when his grandma was dying. (Grandma right? Been a while since I watched it) As for the bullying skit, it's just so ironic that if those characters had that self knowledge, they wouldn't be the bullies that they are. I guess it's just showing what the underlying unconscious motives there are to bullying.

Yeah that book was immensley helpful...aw man his work will be honoured forever

Another Earth was an interesting idea, but I don't think the execution of it was all that good. It seemed to be have told through too much exposition via news reports. I had reservations about The East and The Sound of My Voice because Another Earth was a let down, but Brit Marling has won her spot in my heart as the indie queen I would also like to bump this back up since I still think this is a worthwhile watch! Huh reposting here seems to have deleted the first original post? here's the trailer in case my original post doesn't return. I'll let it speak for itself this time.

What do you mean by shallow social capital? And you are free to assume that they don't have red-pill knowledge, but what is that based on? How do you come to the conclusion that someone with tattoos has no red pill knowledge? I have a vegabond friend who has tattoos, and he's a vegabond for the reason that he lives off the grid of government. He's an Anarchist, albeit almost the typical stereotype, but he is an Anarchist nonetheless.

That's very disturbing that there's a laugh track when she's yelling... in the 2nd video that is

The most common form of gaslighting happens to most victims of abuse unfortunately... "I don't remember you getting hit; therefore it didn't happen."

Or the kid was just startled by the loud noise and the unexpected experience of seeing something break due to their actions...

Wow so it is universal. We had to put up with shallow crap just to get some shallow crap, most of which fell by the wayside weeks later. Some gifts were never worth the trouble.

Awesome article somebody posted on Facebook: http://groundedparents.com/2014/11/26/can-we-please-stop-gaslighting-our-kids/

Shows how clingy that mother is. Gross as hell, man. Also shows how little she knows her teenager's friends to the point of being able to trust being around him.

YEAH wow! I really hated that 4 year olds are Nazis bit, but the second video is AWESOME! The ending kinda troubled me though, sounds like he was normalizing his experiences. But I'm glad he's at least not hitting his kids.

I guess that's what really boils down to. Location, location, location. Especially when you're old and your skin begins to sag. What inspired your daughter to get inked?

DUDE! thanks so much for sharing that!