LovePrevails

wow great quote lol I would love to see a video clip!

I self-attack very badly still. The longer I've been away from my family (particuarly my mum) the less bad it gets In a month I will be able to see them a lot less and may move city. I've been waiting a long time for that move, but since I last got in a serious spat with my mother and was seriously on the point of disowning her, her behaviour has been a lot better towards me somehow, she still stays within the limits of what is possible to her though which does not extend to being able to hold her temper even over little things like salt and pepper left out. I know she has no control over this because she even does it in front of guests, it's not like she can "put away her temper for show". But that doesn't justify it obviously, because she could seek help (but thinks the problem is with everything else.) I digress. I always realise my self-attack is a pattern from childhood. An inner-mum. But worse, because my self-attack is existential. What I forgot is that self-attack is there to serve the abuser, I know my mum doesn't self-attack after our spats, so why should I? I'm meant to be impeccable. I remembered that self-attack serves the abuser after listening to the "I Shot My Dog" podcast, I needed reminding, I should be thinking "it's fucking ridiculous I'm even in the position where I should have to feel bad having lost my temper in a situation I need never have been in if I had a high-nurturance family" not "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that." I always think I ought not to be whenever I feel angry, agitated, frustrated, upet, offended, or any so-called negative emotion I blame this on "reacting" out of "ego" due to a history of reading easten-influenced philosophy... well not really due to that, obviously I read those books because it was in favour of my defense mechanism of shutting down my emotions and self-attack which served the interests of my caregivers. I know that our feelings arise out of a sythesis of our own beliefs and what happens to us So even if these feelings are valid how can I ever believe they are for me? I always have to be impeccable.

When I used to practice the piano for hours a day I would listen to hours and hours of Wayne Dyer, Chopra, Steven Covey, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, etc. they would put me in a really good mood and I'd be practicing at the same time! super-win it does do something for your positive mental attitude to consume motivational speakers

the universe could have a creator but even if it did that in intself would not prove they were omnipotent, just that they were potent enough to creat a universe XD

I experienced this thread as watching a part of you attempting to have a one-sided internal dialouge. One side appears to be opening a channel of communication by asking such a question, has the other side been given a chance to answer it? Hey, great perspective! I guess this is a thought I return to time and time again, wondering- so it's not a new dialogue but perhaps I haven't let each side have it's proper say, or make it's case on some level I must feel it has been helpful as knowledge i always better than ignorance on other levels I wonder if it hinders in some way because you can come to interact wiht all these "qualified" judgments of dificult people and their patterns which may then get in the way of communicating I am very interested in hearing other peope perspectives on the content of the original post before saying more

Sometimes when I'm on the downwave I'm sitting back and thinking Was this really helpful or did I just think it was? I know where my negative thought patterns come from in my childhood and have for yearsI did a lot of work, more than pretty much anyone I knowAnd when they're re-asserting I'm thinking Knowing where this comes from does not actually make it go away. It's the method, the technique, for changing the habit pattern of the mind, for repairing the damage that really counts. Then I wonder if knowing where all this crap comes from is even neessary.If we could just take a sample of the what the mind says for a week (/a month/ a year) in insolation, and analyse the patterns would that not be enough to diagnose it?To prescribe a treatment?Without tracing root causes? I don't know, other time I see the way my own self-knowledge helps me diagnose/analyse/prescribe for othersthey seem to be genuinely impressed and think it's helpful Sometimes I just don't know if knowing causes is curative, I guess one thing it does do is help stop you exposing yourself to more causes or inflicting causes on others,But I think a fixed psyche does that automatically Please discuss

Here is a cool trick that a friend recommended for overcoming procrastination on tasks: pretend you're pretending to do it. that takes away a lot oof the pressures, since you're not really doing it, and you've turned it into a game. if you need more enhancements: you can say imagine I am (invent a name and back story) writing away all night at my (miserable newspaper article?) while I am aware of (government corruption) you can even pretend it is a typewriter Historical context makes it feel more like a game, by the by, McCarthy era would be an interesting time to be a frustrated writer? Also, men had particularly snazzy clothes If you concentrate on playing hard enough you can change your inner voice, you know like the way it changes when you hang out with someone too much or read a really good book Once you change your inner voice, you're really there

I say if it's a walk down memory lane and a very enjoyable nostalgia trip for you, as well as something you anticipated with glee once, chuck in ya 25 brotha you won't miss them that much, but you'll probably enjoy listening to the two chat "in the present"

I've been listening to Eckhart a lot recently to see what it's all about and I do find a lot of his reasoning very convincing on the other hand I worry that the whole philosophy winds up with you accepting any old shit behaviour because "it's not them it's your ego." does that make sense? I've not seen a satisfactory response to that, I think people like Eckhart and Anthony deMello (whose book called Awareness I loved and you probably will also if you like The Power of Now) Is that people from abusive backgrounds read them and actually misread them as a reason to dismiss all their emotions the way they were forced to by their difficult upbringings their misenterpretation of the text (confimation bias) causes them to repeat the abuse upon themselves

stef and I had a conversation about this very matter, it starts 58.40 in to this sunday show

I am enjoying how this thread is gradually turning into a collection of resources for people to help them overcome procrastination, here is a good article about Goal Setting that Really Works http://www.understandingrelationships.com/goal-setting-that-works/1031

Isn't that such a primal fear? "I'm FUCKED! I've skrewed up my life!"

GAP made 1.38 billion dollars last year. John Pilger does documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3WbztsqScw&feature=player_embedded#! I haven't watched all they do talk about Indonesia's state debts ad how they have been raped by other states but it's not directly put in those terms it does lay blame with IMF and Worldbank what do those on the economic right say? as these are usually facts presented by the left as against capitalism What do you say to people that say "Tiger woods shouldn't have the freedom to be paid more by Nike for endorsing them than almost the entire workforce making Nike put together?"

Uhh... ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ... WHAT!? he means socialism for the rich and capitalism for the poor.

what is your reasoning behind being a nihilist? Means to an end. I manipulate others to to benefit myself. If I benefit more from being honest, I am honest. I don't particularly prefer one or the other (well, except that being manipulative is good practice so I like to improve my ability, and being honest puts me at less risk of being caught defrauding someone, so there are benefits to either approach outside of merely accomplishing a specific goal). Have you ever experienced bliss from being there for someone else only to feel flattered when they thanked you because if anything you were thankful to them for sharing themselves with you?

hey I was listening to the Sunday Show from yesterday and hearing the 2nd caller plug www.libertyontherocks.org and I was what are the chances of meets in the UK? I live in Scotland and would love to meet people there but I'm willing to move around as well, it's always interesting going on trips

In case you missed it on Stef's channel, here is my interview with him on teaching children to think Rationally :-) :-) :-) please share and subscribe if you think this turned out as great as I did

A heartwarming story, well worth the two minutes

This is a logical fallacy called a "scope shift" A tree is made up of a bunch of cells therefor a bunch of cells are a tree and all a tree is is a bunch of cells well no, a tree has emergeant qualities over and above what a bunch of cells do and a bunch of cells could just as easily not constitute a tree I don't know if I could articulate this well, but I hope it gets the jist across I think I get what your saying and I think I agree. The fact that our universe (or an entity) is made up of things does not mean 'a group of things' are an entity, right? What I am pondering is, are people correct to refer to our universe as an entity? Well, it does seem to be self organising with emergent qualities. We and animals could be likened to twigs and leaves. It organised itself into beings that can self accuate. Do we have any way of knowing yet? It is a scope shift because the scope of the conclusion is wider than the scope of the evidence for it. To clarify: "this is famously exemplified by the fallacy in Bertrand Russel’s reasoning where Russell cites the example of a stick half-immersed in water which appears bent even though it is not to argue that because the stick is not bent it must not be the actual stick we are seeing in order to argue that what we perceive are not physical, mind-independent objects, but Sense Data, mind-dependent objects which we conjure into existence Wittgenstein identified a fundamental flaw in this argument, claiming that the semantics of the suggestion that we see “something” bent was a rhetorical ploy which begs the question by assuming that because we see perceive something bent, something bent actually exists."

This is a logical fallacy called a "scope shift" A tree is made up of a bunch of cells therefor a bunch of cells are a tree and all a tree is is a bunch of cells well no, a tree has emergeant qualities over and above what a bunch of cells do and a bunch of cells could just as easily not constitute a tree I don't know if I could articulate this well, but I hope it gets the jist across

Small talk REALLY annoys me. It used to annoy me as well but then I learned to enjoy the right kind as a prelude to knowing someone bettersmall talk with acquaintances that are "just being polite" and I don't know that well and don't particularly want to - not so much!

It gives you an opportunity to tune in with yourself and see how you're feelinghow self-conscious are you? are you being true to yourself? etc. ... these things are easier to do when the other person is talking I find I always know how to shift from talk into listen when someone has a personal issue they want consoling for - and I'm a good crisis listener - but apart from that I have always been a real talker. Because I'm a good communicator and know things I can really get away with yak yak yaking about interesting stuff and people will still like to hang out with me even if I do most of the talking, but I've been realising more and more that this isn't ideal. It's poor in other respects, for getting to know people better and sooner, for giving them a chance to teach you things, for keeping a bit of mystery surrounding yourself that makes people intrigued about you (especially the opposite sex) for making people feel good about themselves, and feeling that you're curious, and like they're important to you (which hopefully they are) for being sensitive to people who are too shy to assert themselves more in conversation that you are all different things I guess, so these days I'm trying to pull out of my default setting of yak yak mode and ask more questions, and being genuine I have been enjoying listening more, and having the chance to tune into myself and being more conscious of how I feel while doing so.

Better, I am at college so it was a lot easier to step out, I don't really feel that extreme fear of sharing being vulnerable but years of issolation mean that now my small talk skills are pretty lacking and there is a learning curve. I felt like just posting that really was a huge step too (something I would never have done previously). Well done! Small talk anxiety I think can be overcome quite quickly by having a couple of canned questions you can use to break any silences "Seen any good movies lately?" "What do you prefer, cats or dogs?" "Why?" and also just things that encourage people to elaborate, "Yeah?" "Really?" "No Shit!" "You think so?" etc. it's so weird how social skills are jsut as related to practice as everything else

And how are your friendships and relationships with others today?

I totally want that mug.