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J. D. Stembal

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Everything posted by J. D. Stembal

  1. There was a point in time where housing was cheap, meaning a single income family could save up the money for a home in a matter of a couple years. Now we have thirty year mortgages. Houses depreciate in value over time, so the older they are the cheaper they are. Now, housing values only go down in areas where the local economy and municipal services are disrupted. See Detroit, and soon Chicago. Renting should be cheaper than owning in any rational economic environment, but because of the magic of fiat currency and debt as money, renting is almost never cheaper than owning.
  2. I lived with my parents until I was 31, so I am familiar with this level of conditioning. I recall at an early age my father telling me not to trust anyone outside the family with personal information. I was also scolded for answering the door when solicitors or neighbors rang. Over the years, I can't recall my parents having friends over for dinner aside from one of my dad's work colleges. Overall, I was very isolated, and I took refuge in books and video games. Fast forward to today, I live alone, and I am single. In public, I'm never quite certain how to act and interact with people. I do and say unusual things around others. When I was younger, friends accepted me as strange and even complimented me for it. As an adult, I stick out like a sore thumb which has a polarizing effect on other people. I don't think that my parents purposefully conditioned me to be this way, but through their choices and behavior, they contributed to it. I want to point out that having disturbing dreams, feelings or thoughts does not make you an evil person. There are no evil people, only violations of the NAP. If my dreams and thoughts became reality, I would be jailed for life. For example, a while back, I had a fantasy that my father would show up at my door and confront me for going No Contact, then we would argue, and I would kill him with my bare hands to get revenge for his misdeeds. If this actually happened, I would not kill him, of course. I don't have the capability. The reality is that I desperately want him to care enough about me to visit, but I know that he won't. As for relieving anti-social conditioning, I find that naming the problem and sharing it with others whom I can trust is empowering. When people reach out to me now to show curiosity, I am mindful to respond in kind instead of pushing them away. It's very difficult, but nothing rewarding will ever be easy to accomplish.
  3. Are you paying for your wife's education? Who pays for the public school system which your wife supports?
  4. Welcome to the forum, John. I hope that you will be willing to provide parental insights in the peaceful parenting section. You are in a unique position as a single full-time father to share your wisdom. Many men, including myself, are either single or childless around here, or so it seems. Personally, I find atheism to be extremely liberating. I know that I have to do the best with the time I have left alive, and my actions are my own and not inspired by any higher power external to me. All of my contributions in life come from within.
  5. I recently had the "gun control works in Australia" argument used against me. My response, "I don't live in Australia." What the gun control advocates don't ever talk about is how many times firearms are used to save a life or stop a crime by lawfully shooting or deterring a criminal. Any gun homicide can look bad on paper because it doesn't not distinguish between murder, manslaughter, and lawful self-defense.
  6. This is an IFS (Internal Family Systems) strategy and it is a lot harder than it seems. The protector won't relax until you get in the mindset of self. If your self is in control of your thoughts, words and actions, the fragmented parts of your personality yield. The protector is probably freaking out because you experience pain, fear and anxiety. These are the feelings of the exile he is protecting from your parents, real and imagined. To calm the protector, you get into self, and ask the protector to put down his guard so that you can talk to the other parts. Intellectually, you understand that even if you never speak with your parents again, they will be talking to you inside your head until your death. While the protector that wants you to de-FOO to get back at them has well meaning intentions, it is only a defense mechanism, and it is not smart enough to see that it will not solve the issue in the long run. Everyone is different emotionally, and it is helpful to map the key players in your head out on paper, and create names for them. I have a protector similar to yours, which I call the Vengeful Spirit. If I am triggered emotionally by someone trying to control me or tell me what to do, he comes out. I've also noticed recently that he is triggered far more easily by woman than men, which I believe means that I was bossed around more by women than men in my childhood. That was a surprise to me because I had always identified my father as the epitome of hypercritical, bossy, and arrogant. Why should women trigger me more easily? I hardly ever saw my father, but I had to put up with women all the time in school, daycare, and at home.
  7. Abusers are best addressed in public with eye contact. Stare at them with concern until they stop. This works especially well with mean, angry parents who are verbally beating their children down. It takes the focus off the child and places it on to you. With a situation that looks like it is escalating, as in the parent is losing control and may do something they regret, and eye contact isn't working, approach the adult and ask them the simple question, "Can I help?" These two strategies should diffuse most situations. Don't run in there like Rambo looking to save the child. It's not going to happen. We are all stuck with the parents we have until adulthood or legal emancipation.
  8. Or you could not administer vaccines to infant children via syringe and they won't be upset in the first place.
  9. I have a problem with tattoos and facial piercings, in particular. Cosmetics, tastefully applied, is fine with me. I'm always disheartened when I meet an attractive and fertile young woman who has her septum pierced and tattoos crawling up the side of her neck. Ewww. The lack of curiosity or enthusiasm is the worst quality, without a doubt. I want a woman to be excited for me when I hit a new weight lifting PR. Honey, I pulled a 2x body weight dead lift today! Hmm? Oh, that's nice, dear. ...will never be a conversation I have with any girlfriend.
  10. Give a man a why and he can endure any how. Without appealing to the pre-deterministic biological reasoning that we are simply vehicles through which our genes replicate, I can come up with several personal reasons for myself. I found it insightful to create a custom pyramid of self-actualization where the ultimate goal sits on top at the fifth hierarchy. The four levels beneath it: self-esteem, community, security/safety, and physiological have to each support the hierarchies above it. It is possible that examples of an ultimate life purpose do not require family. For example, many of the most famous philosophers of the world died childless.
  11. I would appreciate a double barrel shotgun blast of self-knowledge to the face such as this.
  12. If your parents are enthusiastic and curious about you and wish to join you in therapy and pay for it, then I say go for it and explore your thoughts with them. My real and internalized parents double down on me when I express myself to them. There is no curiosity in these statements at all. J.D.'s mother: "You can't tell me that I don't love you." J.D.'s father: "I was once young and naive like you (but I am older and wiser now)." It should be worthwhile to have an internal conversation with the protector. He is the one that is angry at your parents. If you can get him to trust your internalized parents, he will calm down and listen to reason. If your parents are feigning interest in your recovery, your protector will know it. If they genuinely want to heal with you, the protector will back off.
  13. Mike Maloney delivered a presentation of the 2015 Silver Summit in San Francisco last month. Watch here: Bonus Footage: The Breakout Session http://goldsilver.com/hsom/silversummit/congratulations/ Learn more about the tragic and impending reversal in the bond, housing, and stock market. You cannot afford to ignore this!
  14. We both had already established that marriage is vastly different than voluntary monogamy, so don't keep calling it marriage. In the case of gay marriage, the difference is clear. Gays were free to have monogamous relationships without any authority endorsing it via legal document, but they are currently clamoring for a political definition of gay marriage so that the state recognition and benefits will be conferred. Philosophy speaking, you and I are considering different concepts.
  15. Kurtis: Hopefully, you aren't saving up a nest egg in USD, as this is not real money and is constantly debased. If you are, and seeing that having two children is a 15-20 year long project, you should consider saving a lot more than you need to counter the effects of inflation. Stefan has often said that raising one child is a $250,000 expense. That figure could easily double or triple in the next 5-15 years, and all the while you will be taxed to pay for the food, education and healthcare of everyone else. Who will earn $1.5 million in after tax income over twenty years in order to raise two kids? It's entirely possible that in the socialist future of America, only upper class or upper middle class double income families will be able to afford to raise one child. Peaceful families, which keep one parent at home, will have to forgo retirement in order to raise one child, meaning the working parent will work until death in order to keep the other two family members in the bare necessities. The welfare parasites (and fiat currency) will bleed us dead and childless.
  16. Kavih, you did a great job in covering the nastiness in women! I've experienced nearly all of the above or committed these trespasses myself. This may be a bit too obvious, but all of these qualities are male qualities as well. For example, the male analog to wearing cosmetics would be driving a flashy car or wearing expensive suits. Let's take a look at some more negative qualities in a mate. Family and Financial: Debt Divorce Doesn't know why she wants children, and does not have a plan for peaceful parenting. Narcissism: Shows little curiosity in your interests. Ignores or deflects conversations, especially with sexual innuendo. Dysmorphia: Indifference towards long term health. Eats/drinks for emotional reasons. Is fat or otherwise sickly. P.S. This thread should be stickied.
  17. How will voting for a stronger U.S. Military, which is already the strongest in the world, prevent mayhem in your back yard? How will voting for a stronger U.S. Military give us the best chance at promoting peaceful parenting? In other words, how can a voter support violence and murder on one hand, and teach ethics by example to the next generation? It sounds suspiciously like a contradiction to me. Do as I say and not as I do. Correct me where I am astray in my thinking.
  18. Ugh, these people live in my state.
  19. The article struck a chord within me in the description of uptime and downtime. When I was prescribed SSRIs as a teenager, I recall the lengthy experience as being very unreal because I was almost completely disconnected from my emotional self. I felt like I was not experiencing my own life, but watching a movie. I did not have the capacity to experience joy or sorrow while on these drugs. Intentionally, I continued this pattern with recreational drug use as a way to consistently avoid what the article calls downtime, a period of self-reflection. Since ditching the alcohol and pursuing more therapeutic activities, I am in downtime much longer than ever before, in which I can safely explore my formerly unexplored emotional self. I wonder how much of sociopathy is perpetuated and made worse by the tendency of quack M.D.s to over-prescribe SSRIs, especially to children.
  20. The peaceful and voluntary family prevents dictators from taking power because there will be nothing to govern. Authoritarian parenting, augmented by public schools, is training wheels for tax cattle. Humans are made to be ordered around and coerced into submission from the cradle to the grave. Living in a free society will be like living on a different planet.
  21. One of the hip things to do among white people is to trace back your lineage to a non-white person, and take on the cultural trappings of said ethnicity or culture. It is common for this to be done with Native American culture, especially, since there aren't enough tribes left for them to really strike up a fuss about it. If you had a relative from South Africa, and started calling yourself an African American, you would probably raise some eyebrows, though. I'm 100% honkey, for what it's worth. The closest I can get to non-white is a great grandmother who immigrated from Italy. However, I don't really sense the anti-white media smear campaign on a personal local level at all. If anything, there seems to be a lot of distrust in the whites towards the smaller non-white communities. I definitely get the sense that multiculturalism is a failing experiment. People who look the same and speak the same language have a natural affinity towards each other. I don't think there could be outright hostility towards white people in a county that is 95% white. In fact, I don't think I've lived in a whiter county than Summit, one of the last bastions of whiteness. http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/08/08117.html And this is very interesting, too. http://www.censusscope.org/us/map_nhwhite.html
  22. It's not difficult to see why Trump's eloquence and currency goes a long way around here. To those who support warmongers. Don't be surprised when war shows up on your doorstep. Stay free, and stay armed.
  23. When was the last time war was about anything other than killing civilians? How many civilians has the United States killed in the Middle East? How many civilians has Israel killed in Palestine? War is about destroying or disrupting the economy of a nation, so you must kill civilians. There is no rule about playing fair. This isn't a game. There are no scruples in politics or war. The United States and other Western nations are now reaping the violence that they have sowed. Ron Paul has the right idea. Get the fuck out of the Middle East. (Mole. Mole. Mole.)
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