brucethecollie

You're absolutely right that we all need to speak up for boys. I have always seen unfair treatment of boys...even as a child. What I think slows things down and is how the culture is so generally toxic and traumatizing for both men and women that they have a hard time either developing or mustering up the empathy for others. For example, my brother had it hard in this world, what with the way boys are treated. In turn, the way he acted out was hard on me. So then, I had to get past my overwhelming rage and pain in order to see him with empathy. It took years and distance to be able to do this. It also takes being able to get past emotional trauma and think rationally. The feminist movement came up out of what I think was an inadequate and reactionary response to issues. For example, instead of working towards treating all children better, which would benefit everyone, the reaction was to start demanding ways that men make things up to women-something that doesn't solve any problems and involves unfairly treating all men like the few who are guilty. And as it has progressed it has even gone into loony territory assuming women can do everything and anything without a man, ignoring that just because something can be done doesn't mean it should be done. I intend to do my part to break the cycle by treating my son and daughter properly and talking to anyone who is willing, about the extremely unfair and damaging ways we treat boys and men in our society. Thank you so much for what you are doing. You have my support in empathizing with men and condemning women as equally as men when they mistreat others.

I take the good wherever I can find it! Someone shared this guy's post on facebook and praised his methods and that post had over 2000 likes. I responded on there and in under 5 minutes 6 people told me I was disrespectful and needed a "whooping". I then posted about 7-8 links about peaceful parenting from experts and no one had anything more to say. I think the overall ignorance and the fear of the road kids may go down as teenagers is monumental and it's going to take so much time for these people to come around. But, still, many people denounced the method and/or the fact that it was a public shaming as well. I feel like there is a parenting revolution happening but it's moving realllyyyy slow.

That is a very interesting idea. You're right about needing a sales effort for this but I do think that many people would be interested. I've seen how excited people get with their results from 23andme and I've also witnessed (through people paying for health coaching) how willing people are to spend money if it will give them value and insight into their health. The data on how people are spending to improve their health also proves this.

Just one thing I wanted to mention...anecdotaly...I grew up in a house where neither parent was particularly neat and tidy. We kids were constantly yelled at to clean our rooms and rarely did we listen. Now as a parent, I've been working on breaking out of the habit of basically being somewhat of a slob. The past few years I've managed to make huge improvements with keeping the house not just clean but also neat. I go in my kids room when they are in there playing to pick up once a day. They usually stop playing and help me. And in doing, I think they learn. I don't ask them to help me and I don't complain. I think this makes it easier for them to help me. The few times they don't help me I just go around them continuing my job and I think they appreciate that I let them be. Anyway, I was surprised by this because I didn't think they would usually want to pitch in but they do. So I'm wondering if more than anything, our example is what speaks to them. My husband and I generally set an example of helping one another which the kids witness. Anyway, just wanted to share. About the focus issue, is there anything she focuses really well on? My son enjoys lots of activities (he is 6) but he has little to no focus for them and yet I put him in an advanced lego class and he is nothing but focus. The difference was night and day.

Sesame oil is great and the cod liver oil, too. I try to eat a few cans of sardines or anchovies throughout the week-helps my skin not be so dry. Avocado and eggs are great, too. I think avoiding grains helps many people get clearer skin. Also, many people are unaware of food allergies they have which contribute to breakouts. My sister and I got allergy tested a while back and while I was surprised to be allergic to a handful of foods, she turned out allergic to about 20 common foods. When she succeeds in avoiding all those foods, she has clear skin. When she doesn't, it's a dramatic difference.

Yeah, I agree that it's not natural to have pms. I've studied different cultures (out of curiosity regarding nutrition) and it's so interesting how the people eating foods without any of the modern chemicals, sugar, salt, etc, added don't have cases of pms. My own mother never had any pms (or zits for that matter) and grew up with women who didn't have it either. Now all these women have daughters with terrible symptoms. I agree that what we eat and how we exercise are the main instigators. The better I eat and the more I exercise, the less severe my symptoms are. Thanks for the resource information, I am always looking to learn more about this stuff. I've been getting long lasting flares of unexplained joint pain for the past few years so I can't consistently lift weights or do more than walk much of the time but when I feel ok then I use a kettle bell, do yoga, and work outside doing heavy manual labor, and I have to say, it feels like the best exercise in the world-stuff that really engages the muscles by way of the core. And it provides the best sleep. I'm positive lifting things and using one's own body as resistance is part of the ideal human experience. I knew someone years ago who was almost 70 but looked 40 and he did it by just moving boulders on his property and chopping wood and carrying it into his cabin. He had the means to live more modernly but decided to do this to get fresh air and stay fit. Once, my husband and I couldn't lift an old couch out of our house-we couldn't even move it a few inches. He came by one day and did it all by himself with no help. I'm still amazed. Oh and H & W-got it.

You're right. I've found that they have a really twisted interpretation of their Catholic upbringing and faith. The Catholic church allows for family planning and recommends people not have kids if they can't support them, don't want anymore, or if health matters are involved. It even states that people should respect the laws of a country. All they seem to hear is "Don't use contraception and give glory to God." And frankly, church leaders don't go around openly clarifying things. So people have tons of kids like their parents did and their parents did... And about some of the other comments made about the anti-immigrant sentiment. I wonder... if I was completely ignorant, living in poverty and traumatized and brainwashed by a poor upbringing, that I probably would find it easy to come over to what others say is a much better place, hide in shame and fear (I've heard many immigrants say they are ashamed to be illegal), and take full advantage of anything around me to make a "better" life. Staying ignorant probably works as a mechanism to stay sane once the drama of life sets in (being illegal from what I've witnessed causes a lot of stress and fried nerves and major feelings of inferiority and people often appear to literally immobilize from their way of life-they aren't happy from what I can tell). They think they are getting into a better situation, and some are, but many find they might as well had never left home. Then they have kids who aren't even able to speak Spanish well, and families feel stuck in the situation they've got themselves in. I have so much compassion for these people. Doesn't mean I don't view what is happening as a HUGE issue for us to confront realistically. The greater issue is statism, of course. This video is necessary because the media is pushing the idea that these facts are just myths and people need the truth before the country sinks even further. Even illegal immigrants can benefit from seeing the facts.

You are right that plenty are feigning ignorance but not all. Many of us in the US know that sugar consumption appears to be toxic and yet, many of us still eat too much of it. This is a byproduct of our culture largely accepting it. Many of these people don't know much of what you and I consider very basic information and their culture doesn't support them finding out or accepting the truth. It's an extremely primitive culture I have tried to stay very far away from.

Not shocking to me but the information is a goldmine when trying to help others understand what I've been trying to say. Thank you. By the way, I shared this with people who came to the US illegally who I have been acquainted with in the past and someone wrote me saying that they didn't know people paying taxes was providing the resource money for welfare that they use. We are talking about a staggering level of ignorance. And it is indeed, cultural. I tried to tell this person it's not about a lack of compassion but a prioritized compassion. Ourselves, our kids, our communities, must come first or we will all be pulled down by people who are drowning.

Thanks for the organized information! My husband was brought over by his parents, illegally, when he was a child and even he will tell you that what he knows as an insider entirely supports this data.

Hi Jake! cool idea! I would be a gene counseling client-I think that is super interesting stuff. I am fluent in English and Spanish. I am a certified health coach. I'm a Spanish/English motivational speaker for people with diabetes. I blog and freelance write about diabetes and other health topics. My work history is in customer service and sales and I was a training and work culture specialist in the Human Resources dept of a manufacturing company. Also interested in entrepreneurship.

I used to have really bad panic attacks in college So sorry you are going through this. My suggestions are to not overdo caffeine or sugar...and to try to get into the habit of thinking positive. I was constantly having these negative scenarios play out in my mind like nightmares but while awake. I kept trying to turn those around so the scenarios would end up positive. It helped me to not watch anything R rated, to not read or watch the news, to be careful what I read, and to let toxic people in my life go. The breathing tips you've received are very good. I'd do that, too. Time in nature, like a walk through the woods would help me a lot, as well. Anyway, best of luck to you. I know it can be really hellish to have high levels of anxiety. Take care

I speak fluent Spanish if you ever want to practice your skills! I have a few friends who claimed this info helped them: http://fourhourworkweek.com/2009/01/20/learning-language/

Being aware helps me to understand my feelings are temporary versus permanent and instead of looking around in an emotional haze at my surroundings and assigning blame, I can accept my symptoms for what they are. So I've found it very empowering to just be aware of what is going on instead of a clueless and panicky reactor. And yes, lifestyle habits make a world of difference. I may have some predisposition to certain things but I can definitely make a big impact on pms symptoms and cycle regularity by eating well, exercising, and managing stress. So interesting what you say about men getting clouded thinking in the midst of an attractive person. Women have a slightly clouded period around ovulation but from what I hear it's much more intense for men. Awareness really is an asset

Oh they changed the name! https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/mood-horoscope-period-tracker/id498355157?mt=8

I wanted to share something that has been of great help to me over the past year. I've always had pms symptoms that seem to be stronger than the norm and felt like half of each month I wasn't quite myself and unable to cope with the hormone changes. The way I coped was hard on my relationship with my husband, too, and I became increasingly frustrated with this aspect of "being a girl". SO, I found an app that provides an explanation of what the body's hormones are doing each day (you enter in the first day of your last cycle so that it gives you timely info) and the information I got from it has led to profound changes-changes that made my family happier. My husband just commented on how I'm myself all month long now instead of just 2/3 or half of the month. I share here for the females wanting more self-awareness but also for any males who may want to mention it to their female partner. This is about awareness being instrumental for positive change. It's challenging feeling very different from one day to the next. A heads up and insight as to what is going on is great for tackling the issue, taking personal responsibility for it, and also seeking to improve the root causes. I was motivated to eat healthier and manage stress better and exercise more and haven't had any cramping in months whereas I used to have debilitating pain. I also got off of an SSRI that had been prescribed to me for my pms symptoms. I wish I had learned all about the hormone part of my cycle at school or from my parents. It's such practical information. The app has the worst possible name: Hormonescope But that doesn't take away my use for it If you have any questions on how it helped me I'd be happy to elaborate. And if anyone has any insight to the hormone patterns of men, I'd be very interested in learning.

I totally agree with regevdl and love all she had to say. I find that because i've taught my kids basic stuff (including critical thinking), they have the info they need to figure things out themselves. For example, they did notice that all the Santa books at the library were in the "fiction" section- and I taught them to know the difference between fiction and non fiction. They also asked if children without enough food got toys or food from Santa, which has to do with an awareness of how others live. My son at some point was trying to figure out how Santa got in and he asked if Santa possibly evaporated outside our door and condensed inside the house. My daughter is aware of how many hours it would take to travel halfway around the world and so Santa visiting everyone on one night was a red flag for her.

I homeschool. Actually, I unschool, meaning, there is no imposed structure (plenty of self-imposed structure though). I'm not very experienced as my children are age 6 but I started thinking about children's rights and what is best for them and the reality of how people learn and I recalled how I felt like I was in prison... The issue of sending kids into a possibly harmful territory (older group of kids in a public school setting) is very legit so the discussion about whether it is right or wrong for a child to skip a grade really depends on circumstances. If my kids want to go to college at 16 and are leading that charge, I'm not going to stop them because of their age. But, I'm certainly not going to come up with that idea and try to persuade them on it.

To me, this list is taking a slanted approach...an attitude of "I'm going to take offense". So instead of communicating in an open, thoughtful way, it's very self-righteous and as usual, taking the liberty of speaking for all females.

That's a very interesting thought. I remember vividly, how I felt when I learned there was no Santa. I thought back to the times I was told by many adults that he absolutely was real and felt they had lost credibility with me and from that day on I was on my guard when it came to things adults told me were true. I became a real pain at home, questioning everything and demanding evidence for things. On the other hand, most kids I grew up with are perfectly happy with religion and they too discovered Santa didn't exist at some point. I grew up with parents that didn't make a big deal about Santa though and so many kids had parents that would go to great lengths to provide evidence for Santa's existence.

I've struggled with this in the past...what I've done is to not confirm or deny the santa claus story. So my kids obviously picked up on it without me introducing it and they asked me 2 years ago when they were 4, "Is Santa, real?" I said, "What do you think?" My son said, "It doesn't make any sense, but I would like it to be real!" My daughter said, "Umm...sure, I say it's real!" Cut 2 years, I never told them my opinion on Santa, I overheard them having a conversation like this last week: "Do you think Santa exists?" "No, nobody has any proof!" "Yeah, the story doesn't make any sense!" "It's fun, though!" "Yeah, it's like all our other pretend stories we like!" So it turned out to be very little struggle in the end which is a relief to me.

I'd suggest telling her your fears exactly as you have told us, as someone mentioned above. I had conquered my mild anxiety and depressive issues prior to getting married but a year later I gave birth to twins and wasn't sleeping and had complications arise with my health and the anxiety and depression really had to be dealt with again only this time under very stressful circumstances. At the very least, it helps to be aware that having children can create some huge hormonal shifts that aggravate prior tendencies and that a plan that includes having savings for any necessary help and therapy and breastfeeding support are all very good ideas. If anxiety and depression are flaring now, having children, in my opinion and experience, will only make the person more vulnerable. I'd stress to anyone to find therapy that helps sooner rather than later. There is hope to overcome these issues-that is the good news. Also, assuming you know what her anxiety and depression is like, when she is at her worst moments, ask yourself if you would put your life in her hands. For some at their worst, they are still very much in control of their behavior and can get through their feelings while still taking care of an infant but for others, they lose too much control and rationality to be trusted with a child. This is an important distinction, I think.

I'd ask her if she worries about her depression and anxiety and how that might affect how she mothers in the future. Maybe she is already worried about this? Maybe she should start? Perhaps that awareness can lead to better/different therapy to tackle the issue.

That was heartbreaking to read, AccuTron So, so sorry you went through that. Horrifying not to be able to count on any adult at school or at home in all the ways a child needs.

A statist I've been talking to about things (she is open to learning and discourse) sent me this article. She said she was trying to research the effects of a coercive society in trying to understand some of my points. Anyway, I thought it was worth sharing: http://www.madinamerica.com/2013/08/societies-little-coercion-little-mental-illness/