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Everything posted by RyanT
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Childhood Psychological Abuse as Harmful as Sexual or Physical Abuse
RyanT replied to WizWom's topic in Peaceful Parenting
It's really great they're putting this stuff out there, I can't speak for people who suffered sexual abuse, nor can I even begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been for them, but certainly as someone who was hit as a kid, the psychological abuse always cut far deeper. My parents where pretty happy to pawn me of on my grandparents soon after their divorce, over the years that's absolutely played havoc with my self-esteem...and obviously created real difficulty forming any sort of meaningful relationships. -
Just spotted this posted elsewhere..
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Well in like the 2st-3nd years of Senior School (12-13) I remember a few girls who'd basically get passed around the local stoners crowd (15-21) and they were forever bragging about what they'd got up to. Now obviously 16 is a lot different to 12 but couldn't a similar argument be applied? It's certainly a complicated area of ethics, thus we are kinda forced to draw these fairly crude lines in the sand, but who actually benefits from the alternative? So quite honestly if some teacher (or any other adult) seems to get a 'raw deal' out of it..I have very little sympathy. Seriously, just how difficult is it for 2 good looking women to find a 18+ guy to have a 3-way?
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Is Denmark really that great?
RyanT replied to hannahbanana's topic in Libertarianism, Anarchism and Economics
I think Stef pretty much nailed it, people who hold up the Scandinavian countries as 'proof Socialism can work' really are getting the cart before the horse. In that the whole reason these countries can afford expensive government programs without it being too detrimental to the average standard of living is the result of the free market creating the wealth in the first place. A bit like those guys earning like £20,000 a year, who'll see successful types driving an Audi's or wearing a Rolex's and imagine somehow owning that luxury car/watch will transform them into an affluent professional. Of course their very low levels of military welfare doesn't hurt either, In 2012 Britain came 4th in the world, spending $61,007,000,000 Norway came 28th with $6,973,000,000 Sweden came 33st with $6,209,000,000 Denmark came 41st with $4,442,000,000 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_military_expenditures This means if the UK only spent as much as all of those 3 countries combined it'd still leave $43,383,000,000 left over. In 2013 496,000 students began full-time undergraduate courses, meaning that would have paid $87,465.73 each towards their education and living expenses. While the media is full of stories of people being people being left out on trolleys in corridors for hours on end With Britain having the second lowest number of hospital beds per person in Europe... According to the Department of Health, a hospital bed costs around £400 ($642.86) a day. Thus as inefficient as the NHS is, $43,383,000,000 would fund an extra 184,888 beds per year.- 7 replies
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This is precious? Guy who thinks we should plan the entire worlds economy to eliminate waste, makes the most elementary economic plans.....which end in failure and waste. Yeah it's just projection.
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'Stefan does not believe in forgiveness'.....that is a pretty loaded premise? Lets say my neighbor borrows my lawnmower, unbeknownst to him there's a huge rock hiding in the long grass, he hits it and bang!...there goes my Mountfield. He explains the situation, apologizes and immediately offers to buy me a new one, I think ''what a great guy'' and of course if he wants to borrow the new one he's welcome any time...all is forgiven? Now lets say he just quietly wheels it back round, a few days later I spot the damage, he totally denies any knowledge, perhaps faced with overwhelming proof he eventually 'fesses up, but then refuses to pay anything...or maybe starts trying to haggle compensation on his terms, 'Well look it wasn't exactly new...but I'm willing to give you £50, no hard feelings?' I'm going to be pissed off he threw my kindness back in my face like that, but what can I do? take him to court over it? So I 'chalk it up to experience', the guys a dick, it cost me £200 to find that information out...lucky though it wasn't £2000?...I get on with my life, but like you 'of course I'm not give him the opportunity again' so have I actually 'forgiven him'? Alternatively of course, I could 'turn the other cheek' as the bible teaches and let him brake my strimmer too? ...this kind of 'forgiveness' only serves the evil and immoral.
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Yeah first time around I was pretty bored, she seemed to be talking a lot and saying very little, maybe she made a few good point but in general, nearly 20 minutes of 'gender inequality is bad m'kay'. When I actually unpacked some of her statements though the agenda became pretty clear, ''men need to reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned and in doing so be a more true and complete version of themselves.” In other words, as Stef's summarized this rhetoric many times ''men are just broken women'', we have bits missing from us and its our job to fix that because we're fucking up the entire planet through our shortcomings as human beings Women on the other hand are just fine and dandy....and when they're not...men's fault!
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Get the strong impression this is little more than attention seeking on her part, (Certainly put a lot of effort into looking pretty for the video?) She says something crazy, loads of guys react by jumping up and down in anger, Thus ''Clearly what she has to say (and therefore her as a person) is important'' Trolling 101... 'Crazy biches' try and pull this shit all the time.
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I'm not yet a parent myself but certainly remember growing up, public school was pretty brutal...especially between 5-11, can seriously can only remember having 2 fights at secondary school, but primary and junior it was like a weekly occurrence, we really used to kick the shit out of each other..... So my experience was kids left to figure out their differences pretty much slide into a Lord of the Flies type situation. Certainly I think wherever there's violence involved the only lessons to be learned are bad ones, so that'd defiantly be somewhere I'd draw the line.
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Sean Hannity going nuts on corporal punishment
RyanT replied to LovePrevails's topic in Peaceful Parenting
Wow, sense from The Young Turks..... Interestingly though that for all his bombastic rhetoric, Hannity was very quick to assert he personally doesn't beat his own kids...So clearly he knows it's wrong on some level. Which makes me think he's the very worst kind of evil fuck, that'd jump up and down and defend parents stoning their kids to death..if that's what his audience wanted to hear. -
Yeah...canary's? mining?...you've lost me there mate Seriously though think it's bloody inspired, love it, really captures that idea that 'no man is an island' and we really need that community, our tribe, if we're going to live consistently with virtue. Very impressed with the plan, hope to get involved and help out however I can
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I want to state the friendzone is bullshiit! Post your experiences here.
RyanT replied to massaki's topic in Self Knowledge
Yeah....I mean, as I man can you imagine climbing back into that bed, knowing full well during the interim she'd been bounced all over it by 'sleazy guy'? Errrrr. Obviously financially he's pretty much a signed up to be a slave to her needs, subsidizing all her bad decisions..and when reality softens a little, the kids are at school, she goes back to work, there's a good chance she'll hold him absolute contempt..of course she's attractive and feels she had to 'lower herself' but perhaps more-so because his groveling is a huge mirror reflecting back her selfishness in all it's horrible glory....At which point the easiest thing to do would be decide he's the bad guy and go back to chasing dickheads...and he does love those kids...biological fathers have practically no rights...where would that leave him? That's the real pits of it... Now I've strayed the conversion a fair bit from the subject at hand, that's certainly not the classic 'friends zone' scenarios, but suppose the moral is, guys in 'the zone' are stood pining at those doors wanting to get in, yet that's perhaps worse case scenario, as the admission fees are nearly always astronomical, but of course by that time he's put her on such a pedestal he'll gladly pay..it feels like hitting the jackpot. 'Tim' got screwed alright, screwed good. As I said the whole thing really vexed me, no more so than other peoples reactions, I think you're 100% correct, 'birds of a feather, flock together'..perhaps even broader than them doing the same thing themselves, but just they're basically allergic to any sort of objective moral standards? Certainly the impression I got... -
I want to state the friendzone is bullshiit! Post your experiences here.
RyanT replied to massaki's topic in Self Knowledge
Well my point is probably most western males are raised from birth to accept this kind of shit from women to some degree or another,There's a couple who live near me, both educated middle-class salary workers, she's pretty, tall and slim, not jaw-dropping but a good steady 8, he's the kinda guy who wears those comic t-shirts even though he's pushing 30....Decent job though. Apparently they dated for a while at university but broke up and 'stayed good friends' she met someone else and had a kid, he was the godfathers! That guy walked out on her and the baby and in stepped the guy (we'll call him Tim) anyway before long they got engaged and started trying for a baby of their own, only turns out Tim's firing blanks, in the end it came out that might be because he smoked the odd crafty joint over at his mates house. She went ape shit at this great betrayal, kicked him out the house, pawned the engagement ring and a few weeks later starts seeing this sleazy type guy with 2 kids to 2 women and a Che Guevara tattoo lol. Before long she's 'accidentally' fell pregnant with 'Che boy's' kid, which of course she decided to keep, abortion is against her beliefs..sperm jacking maybe not..as soon after he's served his purpose she 'discovers' he's a creepy nut. (a mass murders face on the arm might have been a clue). As a result of these terrible decisions she found herself nearing 30, on her own and pregnant with a 5 year old, facing losing the house and ending up another welfare mum on the council estate. Just in the nick of time those who comes riding in but good old faithful Sir Tim...just to provide moral support as a 'caring friend' but pretty soon he's moved back in sold his car and now he's supporting her while she stays at home with the baby. Last I heard he'd proposed to her again, turns out he'd gone out and found the ring and bought it back months before.Romantic eh? When I heard the story I could have puked my bollocks up..and donated one to him....Totally blew my mind,Again, just where were his people? Where was his dad at!And I've bought it up with people who know them and the answer I got was, 'well he's happy, she's happy and he's great with the kids (a fair point but in another 20 year's....) so what's the problem?'....Epic culture fail. -
I want to state the friendzone is bullshiit! Post your experiences here.
RyanT replied to massaki's topic in Self Knowledge
....It does happen, although of course more often than not you see guys who're 'friends' with less attractive girls who he'll use for a shag when there's no-one else available. Pretty similar set up? 'The friends with benefits zone'. Totally agree with Rainbow Jamz that the whole concept is a contradiction in terms, real friendships aren't based on fear, deceit and ulterior motives...though sadly they're the kind of relationships most people are accustomed to...Hence I don't think 'foolish' really does it justice, there's one L in there too many. Stef's forever asking callers, where their friends/family were to say 'dude you're being used, get out of there!!!' ...In fact, all too often the only people who are actually give you the reality in those situations are those who actively dislike you, and seek to use the truth as a weapon to provoke self attack.... How fucked up is that?? and that's the crux of this...It's the tip of a very big iceberg? So if you're hanging around some girl, scared to admit how you feel to her, hoping and praying she'll somehow realize ...yet deep down knowing you're feelings will be rejected..that particular relationship's probably the least of your worries. Certainly that was my experience anyway... -
Thanks Pat, your London Meet ups have certainly been a big inspiration for me to get something sorted out up here. Really can't stress enough how refreshing and invigorating it is to spend time with like minded people, the quality of conversations and interactions I've experienced so far has been absolutely amazing.
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After attending 2 brilliant meet-ups in London I really wanted to get the ball rolling up here, was thinking sometime in October or November, in or around Sheffield or Leeds depending on where people are. Although nothing is set in stone yet so please feel free to chip in ideas and suggestions if you’re interested, I’ve created a Facebook group and feel free to add me on skype
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''Philosophy's a dietitian not a surgeon''
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I think you're on the ball Waleed, You've got these young western men who grew up in broken or dysfunctional homes, which prepared them badly for a world that's tough to get along in anyway. Pretty much gone are the days when any mediocre guy with poor social skills can get a decent well paying job in a factory or firm, get married and live in the nice little house in the suburbs. From cases I've read about many spent their teens and early twenties dabbling in crime and drugs..further hampering their chances. As they are Western society has pretty much nothing to offer them apart from pain and rejection. So yeah, the idea of going out there where everything is still to play for, possibly becoming some 'hero of the revolution' (or else dying and going to paradise with all those virgins) must be very appalling.
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Hey Euan, welcome to the board! Always happy to see new UK members. I also studied History and Politics at uni a couple of years ago, how're you finding it?
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Well there are certainly some bigots who believe all Black people are stupid, lazy and prone to crime others that us whiteys are all evil, conniving devils involved in a conspiracy to keep a brother down ...does this mean that race is a 'social construct' i,e meaningless?
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Yeah....! HahaCertainly I've done it a fair bit in the past,Kinda made a pact with myself a few months ago, if ever I'm doing or planning to do something I feel the urge to withhold from people I respect...that means I have to tell tell them!
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Alright Sancraer, from Barnsley myself, pretty keen to get an FDR meet-up started up here, created a group on facebook if you'd like to join https://www.facebook.com/groups/635341533246008/
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.....I used to be one...... Certainly for me it was such an easy little shortcut to feeling good about myself, rather than actually putting in the work, going though all the pain, struggle, isolation and often total bewilderment self knowledge entails. Acknowledging where I am at the minute, just how far I've yet to climb. Reconciling the fear/bitterness that because of the completely unfair and random nature of the F.O.O we're born into I may have to work twice as hard as someone else for half the results..that's a big one for me at the minute...it sucks. Whereas of course within 'spirituality' that's all irreverent, physical reality is the delusion/illusion, what really matters is this foggy intangible world that floats high above it all..we can all just teleport up to...if only we can detach our pure, infinite 'soul' from this pesky, restrictive 'worldly' mind and body.. Utterly the polar opposite of self-knowledge Maybe explain why it stuck in your craw so much Jamz? I also often find when I'm drawn to try and process that sort of B.S disorientating and dis-empowering, Stefan made the magnificent analogy that it's like playing baseball and being pitched a cloud to try and hit. ...Big kudos for not engaging there mate, the more you try and fight it the more it engulfs you...