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That's progress, not sure if it will take care of your conflicting ideas for good but I also want to be respectful at the same time. If you see patterns, lack of certainty, it's because of opposing questions existing in an unanswered state. Finally for now, would you say our chat was useful to you? Have I positively contributed to your seeking of answers in your estimation?

This might sound strange but he's kind of, trying to help? Maybe then, you could be a bit more detailed about, it's not what to do but how to figure out, that you want to do first. That's what you need help with. Have you asked him to tell you how he decided to become a lawyer? What about orientation counselling? What about bringing this same topic up the next time you go for a session? I mean, there must be something you are interested in doing more than just a fleeting 'kinda looks cool' idea.

Ahh... Are you saying that in your opinion they only say they care but in action that means empty nothing burgers?

One msg got modded, here's the question from it: Why did you ask if you could do it over email?

Fantastic, then please ask for their help figuring some solutions out for you. Tell them your worries, tell them everything you think is important so that they get how much you need to crack this complicated issue!

Now, you don't have to do it but then you can't find out the details. You wouldn't want to do it over email. You wouldn't be able to see everything, react, say things in a natural manner. Why would you want to do it over email instead ?

About caring for your own wellbeing. It's a trainable skill, MAKE SURE YOU MENTION to your counselor. My amateur, friendly forum-spiderman advice is to start small. I mean, it will be a challenge nonetheless but it is a safe and strong beginning. What if you paid more attention to the details you did concerning stuff that was for/against your self. Start with for example listening in to your inner chatter. Notice the things that make you feel good/bad. That's a good start.

Conflicting information creates paralysis. If two person tells you opposite instructions for opening/leaving a window open, you'll be unable to satisfy both... what to do? Luckily, there's solutions to each of your 'I don't know's/'I think's. I'm not a trained professional with proven track record, please keep that in mind when reading my lines. I only care to share my thoughts and hope you get some ideas, insight... hopefully. You need to pour clean water into the glass by verifying your own beliefs. I've expressed disagreement previously but that doesn't mean at all I am actually right. You know your parents more than anyone else so you are the best person in the world to have a conversation with them about these things and find out if what you said... Because then, they'll certainly want to listen to all that you have to say. They must have survived somehow, even if badly and your life would be only 5% better, wouldn't you want to get any help you can het? Beats having nothing, right? Because if you don't, you'll go again to China, self-sabotage again but maybe this time you won't be able to move back. Then what? You need to start planning, figuring stuff out. Start with having THE conversation with them.

They didn't care if you asked me. My argument is, that if they did you would have been asked at least a dozen questions, suggested another dozen ideas BASED ON your responses AND followed through to make sure if you needed anything else they could've offered. It might sound like I'm exaggerating but actually I'm not... I'm not, it's not rocket science at all to take an hour of your day and really sit down with someone who you supposed to help and just be there for them, attentive, resourceful. Gosh, probably I'm even skipping half of it. Honestly. Dude! Hallmark card bs and worthless platitudes...? And you suppose to know suddenly what they couldn't explain to you? Not ok. It's YOUR life man! One thing is them not being there for you, another is you not demonstrating enough SELF-CARE, of course you didn't evaluate properly. Dude! Are you aware of replication of the same lack of interest to your own well-being as what your parents demonstrated to you? Are you sure it's the smart thing to do? (Yes, I think you have 'smarts'...)

Hi @Invicta Found it, it's here in pdf. Yes, Stefan Molyneux has touched on the subject many times with different people, including Jesse Lee Peterson. Check out the vids and their description : ° Shocking! 77.3% of Non-Immigrant Black Births Are Illegitimate! ° Broken America | Jesse Lee Peterson and Stefan Molyneux Also, have a look what ThinkProgress put out... (same image) Hope that helps.

When people possess a good level of self-knowledge, vet their ideas with their support groups... accidents and slight missteps might still occur but not things as just loosing interest 'evaporation - style'. To put so little effort into planning is planning to fail. Things such as how to narrow down on what moves you and what will be keeping you interested on the long run are learnable skills. Most commonly, the first people to demonstrate/pass on knowledge regarding it are parents. I suppose they didn't help you figure out these things, neither before you had chosen to go for teaching. It's almost as if you were left to your own devices, with no prior experience.

Well,... yeah. Seeing strangers do stuff is quite different from ourselves actually being in the situation. (obviously) It sounds like you weren't invested in making sure that your choice was actually going to work out. It's not that I'm judging you or anything, I'm just not sure if you see what I see.

Is it fair to say, you did a subpar research to figure out what should be next in your career? Have you discussed it with anyone while you were considering it?

How did you come up with that specific trade? Why did you think you were going to enjoy doing it? Samurais belonged to their master, lord... if my memory serves me correctly. Later, I'd like to focus on the other question if you are ok with that.

It doesn't sound like it was you who came up with this idea, on your own. Did you come up with this idea or it was pressured onto you? It does seem, you have a lord.

A quick question. What does / Does "Ronin" mean anything?

Now, that makes much more sense to me, also I appreciate you sharing that. (Sorry just a reminder might be helpful, this is public) Okay. So, it's actually stranger to me this way... I can understand the being horny part (urges 'n all). What I don't is why wouldn't you work out a deal with your dad. I mean, you're only wasting both of your time... ° his time, by not really doing what he hopes you would (self-sabotaged, probably because you didn't agree with it the first place, right?!) ° yours, because you aren't achieving anything other than self-soothing in the moment until the next wave of unbearable feelings arrive It's rather an animalistic way of living. No disrespect, I don't mean to be other than give you my truthful impression, fully capable to correct or withdraw if necessary. But it does seem like you are pissed off.

I'm a bit confused about the motivation here... Are you saying you are considering to put yourself through what hasn't worked already twice for a random job and some relative easy access to some random women? Did you enjoy working in any of those jobs?

Like, this? (changed it a bit) I don't think that it's accurate, here's why: Imagine, having thrown darts for ages makes you good at generally scoring close to the inner circle, occasionally scoring right in the middle (accessible = happy). Trying to strike bullseye twice, consequently, is harder (increase = happier) and there's the added payoff for reaching a goal on top, the learning curve and new opportunities. Why would you not try reaching the next logical step in improvement? Staying instead a mediocre darts player? That's stale, boring, empty. Isn't that wasting opportunity if you were closer to reaching your goal, than most of whom can't even manage it within the outer areas? Question is, what does your dart and board look like? Have you been looking for one? I don't understand, why would you want to do that to yourself again if it had been a negative experience to you, twice. It doesn't make sense to me. Hmm.. not sure though. Why do you think you had self-sabotaged? Why didn't you just quit? Gotcha, slip of a tongue. It happens to us all.

Sorry, didn't acknowledge them. I think you are right, spending more time in a state makes it more 'accessible' than the other. But how about achieving an increase in the same state? Does it get easier or harder? I disagree with the second part about the drugs. Isn't increased tolerance that actually makes for an increase in the intake for the same desired effect? As in: the less someone uses, the lower their tolerance gets.

Is it also true, that it's possible to think we were ok, though we just got used to being sad, got used to pain? Alternatively, To feel lacking something but only we've been just in a state of contempt, without any challenge. or discomfort?

Fair enough, what do you think that says about having spent a long time in one state... how much it will take to achieve an increase? (from the perspective of the person)

What do you think its meaning is, roughly speaking?

257. Mort Garson - Those Who Knew 258. Quantic - Infinite Regression 259. Brian Tyler - The Desert Journey

I'm very sorry, I had lost a best friend too. In my case though, it was because I had chosen wrongly... When I dug deep about it with help, I 'unearthed a forest-full' of previously ignored red-flags. Not strange at all, having realised how inept my parents were themselves and I was kinda still young. I made new friends since then, mistakes too but fewer patterns emerged after each 'endeavour'. For me at least. Have you heard about 'hedonic adaptation'?