LovePrevails

Here is an article I wrote to help parents which is now published on Sacred Pregnancy, to help parents improve their relationship with their kids: http://www.sacredpregnancy.com/conscious-parenting/when-children-misbehave/ I would be very appreciative if you would disseminate it through your networks and please by all means comment letting me know what you think or any constructive feedback

good way to get all the most skilled managers in Switzerland to move somewhere else

DO NOT DO THIS If you do this you will be training your son to only ever engage in activities for extrinsic rewards by criteria set by external sources this will not help him later in life when he wants to pursue his passions and finds himself unable to motivate himself to DO anything because no one is judging him, or worse still he's afraid of the kind of judgments he will receive from my essay, on the abolition of grades, (http://radiius.org/on-the-abolition-of-grades/) Psychologists (with the exception of behaviourists who are result-orientated and reject considerations of the inner environment) generally draw a distinction between extrinsic motivation, the desire to attain in order to receive perceived rewards, and intrinsic motivation, the desire to do something because it is perceived as innately worthwhile.[3] In the context of education Carol S. Dweck states, “Both goals are entirely normal and pretty much universal,” [4] although extensive research shows that a motivation to learn for the sake of learning is inversely related to a desire to learn for grade achievement.[5] Correlation does not prove cause, however, progressive pedagogue Alfie Kohn has written: “as far as I can tell, every study that has ever investigated the impact on intrinsic motivation of receiving grades… has found a negative effect.” [6] The evidence suggests that promoting a grade-driven orientation leads to a degradation of a learning-driven one. “While it’s not impossible for a student to be concerned about getting high marks and also to like what he or she is doing, the practical reality is that these two ways of thinking generally pull in opposite directions.”[7] If we accept intrinsic motivation as a virtue which a strong need for extrinsic motivation is less preferable to, then these findings seriously undermine the ‘motivation’ argument for using grades: grades create a dependence on extrinsic motivation and citing motivation as an argument to justify their use is analogous to prescribing an addictive substance because it relieves symptoms of addiction. On the other hand, the argument can be made that extrinsic motivation is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact, this argument is often applied with a “students better get used to it” attitude in anticipation of the workplace, where employees may often need to reach targets and meet goals. Indeed, extrinsic motivations are a natural part of life: a child will need to put his toys away to enjoy playing with them, and an adult will have chores to do which are unappealing but for which the ends justify the means. The question is whether attempts to impose extrinsic motivations (such as grades) artificially in order to acclimatise individuals to them is in any way necessary or achieves desirable results. Students demonstrate less interest in learning as a result of being graded, “When students are told they’ll need to know something for a test or… that something they’re about to do will count for a grade – they are likely to come to view that task (or book or idea) as a chore.”[8] This stands to reason, as if grades are what motivate a student to learn then logically the same students ought not to be motivated to learn when they leave education and grades are not presented as an incentives for learning. Thus students are not really being acclimatised to natural extrinsic motivations, they are being socially conditioned to require unnatural, externally imposed ones and to perform tasks reluctantly for them. Returning to consideration of the workplace, can we honestly imagine that workers dependent on external rewards will make preferable employees to individuals who are self-motivated? It seems unlikely. The same could be said of paying your son to study. If you do that, why on earth would he study when he wass not being paid. This is not a good way to instill a love of life long learning. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQesSzkZW4s I hope this post helps!

And whom among my female friends has not had an encounter with this guy? (and whom among my male friends has not once had the urge to *be* him) haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQRwcHtQzyg

I wasn't given very good models of relationships in my childhood (my parents argued every day and my mum can't take criticism but criticised everyone constantly) So I worked hard to improve my social skills and it took some time and effort but to be honest I absolutely love the results - I can usually very quickly build connection and rapport with strangers and I'm learning new things from them and from interacting with people all the time, (I now teach other people to improve their relationships, www.enrichyourlife.co is my website, if it's somethign you'd liek to pursue I'd definitely be happy to give you "mates rates" or a first consultation free, although I don't want this to read as an advert.) So I would probably say no, everyone else does not put in as much effort as I did - but now it is no longer an effort - the skills are an enjoyable part of who I am and I love expressing them they are part of who I would have been in the first place if I had had really good models around me to begin with I imagine yes, I did put in more effort, but the result is I have really good friends , I can talk to strangers without much anxiety about it, I empathise well with others and help them process difficult experiences, and they want to reciprocate by being a good companion in return and I really appreciate that! I also have reasonable choice with women, which I didn't in high school, I dated two other girls previously this year before getting together with the girl I am seeing now who is lovely and helping me a lot with my business and we can talk about everything, I am sensitive to her moods and she says things like "you can always tell when I'm sad" and she appreciates that I can read her and connect accordingly. She also says she likes to watch me in social situations ("work a room" as she puts it) because of the way I meet each person on their own level while still remaining true to myself. So no, maybe everyone does not put as much effort in - some people are natural, and some people don't have as rich a social life, but the social life was won by developing my self in these ways, so I would say the development is worth the investment - it's your life! You deserve the best you can cultivate yourself to be willing to receive the great thing about not being a "natural" is that if you're a natural you may not ever open a book to discover deficits - in other words, if it's something you are willing to learn you can go a lot further than most people can in terms of being a good listener, empathiser, interesting conversationalist, opening people up to talking about more personal issues thus bringing you closer together, expressing your feelings and needs effectively so they are more likely to be met, giving criticism sensitively and receiving it well to understand why the other person is saying it, etc. What are your reflections?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsGkk1GGw3w http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JKwTwX6kPw

my answer is, in theory yes, but they hold a different definition of coercion than us since they consider the relationship between employer and employee often exploitative due to a disparity of power and therefore coercive a lot of them support the NAP sort of but define the parameters differently from us

Hey the fiscal multiplier effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiplier_(economics)) is often cited by keynesian as ajustification for state spending and quantative easing as well as taxing the rich to fund welfare programs, etc. My flatmate is a politics junkie with a degree in economics and his criticisms of some of my arguments have highlighted a gap in my knowledge what are the (Austrian/free-market) objections to this thesis?

One more thing I meant to add, Don't assume that just because people talk about or begin with superficial topics tht they are superficial people, A lot of people sick to those to build rapport and catch your general vibe because they are "safe topics" while deep down they are very thirsty for some real human contact Perhaps they want to know you before they open up a little , want to know you are trustworthy, they may have had adverse experiences when they tried to talk about deep stuff, or they may feel those are personal topics they consider intimate to share with close people

Just a couple of clarification tips: if you go about asking questions don't make it sound like an interview or interrogation you can break this up by pausing after an interest point is made and saying something liek "so you're telling me x.... hmmm that's interesting I always thought y" the first part is to reflect back what you have heard, the second part is to give your own reflections on it here is another example "oh right I see what you mean, n... I never understood that before but when you put it like that I see your point" or "So you're saying x and you think y, but on the other hand : z" this means you're not just asking questions, you're engaging critically with what they're saying you're not just an interviewer another approach is to make assumptions about them and reflect them playfully, so if the person says they are a lawyer you say "oh you must never stop reading," or "Oh my god that sounds brainy! I bet you were such a nerd at school, did you enjoy the book club?" that's a good way to create rapport and find out more about them, "yes I like reading but I never really have the time before" or "you have no idea! I was such a rebel!!! but I finally straightened out" you can also go for humour: "Oh wow, I'm really interested in law... in fact I've got every single episode of Judge Judy on boxset" this creates rapport and also avoids dead end conversations don't let people keep talking about things they do not find interesting like their work! if they sound like they love it fine, if they sound like they hate it move on, give them an opportunity to talk about something they love. Also remember all your good stories of fun, outrageous, or touching times - weird coincidences or ironic situations personal story telling is key to getting to know people and feeling comfortable, the earlier on in the conversation the shorter your stories should be as you can't hold peoples attention span until they are very invested in the conversation ok those are some useful communication skills

Who needs "the right" when you have the guns.

"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet."

hey Alex welcome, here is a facebook group for youtubers such as yourself and I https://www.facebook.com/groups/1394625837446977/?fref=ts

Here is a very good audio, I highly recommend it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXy5IevV3Ds&feature=youtu.be

Oh I meant to add, no needs to be ends-orientated when taking the opportunity to talk to strangers - just get to know them and find out if they are someone you would be interested in talking to more - there doesn't have to be attraction - girls have female friends! It's worth having some female new friends yourself maybe if they get to know you well and think you are a great catch but not to their taste or they are not single they can set you up with a girlfriend, or at least introduce you to one another.

"Dad, how do I find the right woman?" "Son, don't forget about finding the right woman, focus on becoming the right man." No, you can have a relationship like this, but they don't materialize they have to be cultivated the girl I am seeing is always keen to spend time with me whenever she gets the chance and sometimes she has got to worry in case I get bored of her - but I love spending time with her so I'm not bored, but it didn't start out that way ---- when you first get spending to some they don't really know you that well, they aren't emotionally invested in you, and while talking all about yourself might tell them thing about you it doesn't create that sense of attachment In my experience women like to unwrap men bit by bit like a pass the parcel, you know the old saying "to be sexy leave a little to the imagination" .... they like a man that is sure of their own value and has goals, they love to see their man pursue his goals and root for him like his private cheerleader, especially if it is a very worthy goal in the service of others or helping people because they like to think the person they are with is someone kind What opportunities do you have to meet women? it doesn't seem like you have a high opinion of them I think its important to be very curious and ask interesting and unexpected questions to get to know them before expecting them to want to get to know you, I find if I am speaking to a woman I have just met and I am just asking questions to get to know them then I am leading the interaction, after a while she turns it around and starts trying to get to know me (or if she doesn't the whole conversation I probably won't be interested in spending much time with her - unless of course I find all her answers fascinating.) Because I am leading the interaction by my questions I don't have to talk about "Gossip, fashion or stupid tv shows" --- but I do make an effort to find out what she is really interested in and passionate about because I like to hear what people are enthusiastic talking about! I will ask questions about her hobbies and interests and if she knows a lot about a subject I know nothing about then I will want to learn about it from her so I'll ask questions about it because that opens her up to talking about something she is really keen to talk about because she wants to share the knowledge. Even if she does really like some show I think is stupid I will ask her what she likes about it and get her to think about her answer, challenge her in a playful way. Above all - have fun! It shouldn't be a serious business vetting people - more like a fun opportunity to talk to different people you don't know and learn about them and improve your social skills and confidence in yourself as a conversationalist. I love speaking to strangers now. Yesterday I was out at a bar where my band was playing and a girl ordered a big Sundae so I sat beside her and asked if she had just broken up with her boyfriend or something - she took a minute to get the joke and then smiled and started a conversation with me. I was scared to start with such a cheeky comment but I wanted to do it anyway so I did! I knew she wouldn't be offended, but if she had been I just would have excused myself and got back to speaking to my friends. The main thing is I had fun speaking to her and she had fun speaking to me, I wasn't going for any romance because I have a (sort-of) girlfriend, but every opportunity makes you less scared of the world and more eager to interact with others. Ok I hope this stuff is useful, not just a big rant!

That clip is truly excellent! I really enjoyed it and watched it twice in a row thanks for posting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo7vUdKTlhk

agreed, I think more humour is a key ingredient

Hooray! Good on you!

I love the bit near the end where he goes "just because he says benevolent" fucking make me feel stupid let me just look it up, what does benevolent mean hahaha

My Personal View: Stef does not cut people enough slack however most people cut parents way too much slack so it might not be a bad thing at all, it at least pulls people over to the right side. I am enjoying the above video - thank you for posting it.

If Piers Morgan believes in God why does he not serve Him by doing some good in the world. btw thanks for posting that video very much enjoying it

Hey I think this is a great upload about parenting and other relationships: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjpE5VXO-L4