barn

Thanks for the heads up. I'll be reading that too, once it's appeared. Say, you wanted to make the case for me, to give it up. What would you be saying? (hypothetical, you might not be interested in doing so but just for the sake of this point... how about, you did so as an experiment, here?)

Hello @SnapSlav I hope you got my fake upset and didn't take my first remark seriously, at all. ('daring devil' stuff... wasn't serious at all.) Your suggestions are very much appreciated, I'll do my best to see to them being implemented. ° "clench" vs. "quench" - you're right, I was lazy to properly look it up. How embarrassing for me. ° misreading - yes, I did misread that. (Sorry, Siegfried von Walheim.) ° commas, periods - Occasionally, that's a hard one for me. I'm still not sure, how about you send me some more recommendations in pm. (So that the thread isn't further cluttered, unless I'm asking too much of an effort...pretty please? , a few examples would be nice. ) ° So that you know, as a general rule of thumb I prefer to leave a few typos unchanged, given they don't stand in the way of grasping stuff. (Gently shaking the tree after having raked below it. Japanese style.) Occasionally I also mix formal and informal language, to not sound/be too 'square'. i.e. 'wok' vs work, 'waz' vs. was... but this is a silly thing to do overall, I might change it in the future. Don't imagine I'd do it in official papers. Thanks SnapSlav, your input and TONE is/was much appreciated! Barnsley

Hi @SnapSlav How dare you!... Y'know, I was a writer in the past, and although I haven't really been arranging any books lately, I still have the old skills kicking around in my head. I can always offer some pointers, or at the very least, some constructive, critical feedback- say, like pointing out errors in MUCH of barns' post, for example? =D (But he's not the subject of this discussion, so I won't put him on the spot (unless he wouldn't mind? =o), suffice it to say, I'm not trying to be mean, just saying............ saw some errors, and I'd only offer corrections for correction's sake.) While it's certainly true that every writer has his/her own writing style, there are still many objectively true things to consider about the process of writing. Of course. Actually, I would much appreciate it if you did so. Please, send me your suggestions /corrections /advice. Constructivity is something I fully embrace. (nice one) Feel free to pm me or else(?), I'll defer to you on this one. OR ELSE... Barnsley

Hello @Siegfried von Walheim Before all: I had pinned my tent prior to have written to you first. It's the kind that serves to protect against the elements, easy to disassemble and has no food in it as it might lure all sorts of beasts of the wild. Effective. Something I'd like to add. I'm also a human, not a Russian bot. Hi! (Sorry... more like empathising, though I did shorten the formalities to the essential.) You'll see me commenting, at times apparently critical but as you've already heard 'my voice' it's rather intrigued than judgemental of all things...you'll see. It's what you wrote and how you wrote it. Cold, but yet vulnerable and still fragile from certain angles. Fascinating, really. Do you mean she 'intended/said' one thing but did facilitate some other actions? (i.e. - Um, I'm sober. Honest. Me chugging down a glass or two doesn't really count.) Would you say that's something you'd be proud of? Do you remember, what had brought about the change? What made you change your mind? I would be lying if I said I hadn't noticed your ample collection of colourful thorns, good on 'ya for taking agency in that department. (I mean it. More, the second part.) How do you distinguish between earned respect and fear of superiority/power? I mean, there's the lingering threat of dire consequences on one end, longing desire and curiosity for wisdom on the other. How have you verified... with friends and teachers... etc? Also, some people are just drawn to confidence, boldness, power... as you know. Without going into it... My aim was to be somewhat reciprocal (given your straight-from-the-heart op, I had to... ) and basically indicate some paths that had taught me some valuable lessons; could be seen as distant 'echoes' in my response. Thanks for giving your impression though. That's exactly it, how did you know... Just kidding. Actually, my experience was... Kinda disheartening, making me want to share less the details with you if you have such a good imagination to not require my input. Anyhow, thanks again for giving your impression on the 'would've'. It's interesting to read your ideas. No problem, I'm a big boy(?). It's not like we know each other or we've been friends. Though, trying to be friendly can get a bit difficult to maintain over time unless a guy called Aristoteles means well...I'm sure you got it. It did? Well, apart from having no intention of doing so, I can't do much about it as it's, what it is. I'm sorry, I won't be gruff nor stern. Straightforward? I can be. (It's too fine a knife's edge to balance, easy to slip and come off sounding abusive, unempathetic... right?!) This is one such example of 'frostbite'. (I'm exaggerating, all-right. Was thinking of frost-roses) Ouch. (very engaging metaphor) I don't need to quote the rest. That's horrible. I'm sorry, you had to be part of that mess. That's horrible. I don't think it's something that should EVER be part of any child's youth. Or irresponsible parents, the same ... THunders! Gosh, man. (I'm far from pitying, trust me... sorry, how could you trust me...huh) Siegfried von Walheim, that wasn't normal. For people to do such egregious acts... You may have cooled to freeze, normalised it... this is, what f_cked up people generate in their environment due to a great series of bad decisions, avoidance and hiding from responsibility. You were supposed to be protected from all of that, you were supposed to NOT experience THAT, the 'work of evildoers'. At all. Shame on those who caused so much unnecessary, headless suffering to you. Thunders! (I need a break) (back) I don't say I do understand that fully, I know I can't. Goes over my head. The nearest is when I felt truly in proximity isolation... etc. I hate how drugs are handled, relationships torn, shredded. I'm not trying to cut slack for your father, as he IS responsible, same as others. Does he want to sort himself out? (my lunacy, could be a bad idea... ask people who are credible and all that...) How are you assessing the relationship, from what side are you looking at it? I mean, fear/possibility of losing someone does tend to feed dependency... almost as a drug. A big challenge. This is veeery interesting. I have a similar liking but with a slight dip towards anti-heroes. B-man, especially. The despising part not so much. Empathising, given the right circumstances is wiser, yet the harder. I have always been interested in contexts after having realised how easily final judgements can be one's worst enemy, same as with the everlasting limbo. There's a nothing burger for you. Sorry, longer version some other time. How about, just (hehe... 'just') being virtuous? I see plenty of heroes already, that way. Yes. It can happen. For that, make sure to take plenty of self-erasure, insecurity, dependency, lying - classes. +Dicknap. or You could be your true self with integrity and internalised principles. In contact with your Shadow for the rough stuff if necessary but centered to still feel and live all the colours of the emotions palette. It's up to you, which and how much. (To a certain degree because genetics but your true potential is a different matter.) ... me thinks. Are we seeing eye to eye on this one? I'm afraid this sounds 'stickman forest'-y to me. I'd rather discuss this topic with you again if your social endeavours... say... extended, a tiny bit more? I'm trying to gain an unfair advantage ;-} over the current situation where proving you the point of 'there are many fine ladies around you'... is, sort of haaaard. Do you see what I mean? Later, ok? (When you are socially more active) ... still editing... (... a day or so later, apparently I needed another break. For the better.) (I missed to say earlier) Thanks for explaining what 'platonic' was regards to your mother. I assume because he knows it is/was toxic and therefore distanced himself largely from his family of origin. Now!!! It makes sense. I mean, it's probably a close enough guess. A good guess in my estimation. My mother might have his phone number but he lives very far away and I don't have any means of getting there, beyond public transit and some maps maybe. Plus he still has a dog that I am afraid of. Isn't this something of an 'orc-skin, paper-thin' excuse? I'm not saying you should get in touch with him, I'm saying how easy it would be to give it a try. Obviously you know better your family and your thinking must be reflecting that. There's a good reason behind it I'd theorise. Even so. Why not tick this box and get it over with? It might surprise you what you'll find. No, and yes. [...] Thank you. If I properly grasped you, this is about 'ideologues vs. people lost in the woods possibly, temporarily'...right? Sounded a bit too polarised but perhaps you were just trying to give a general idea of it. I particularly liked that you'd remembered to include the 'good conclusion vs. wrong methodology' example. What do you mean "binary" lol? (Nothing of an importance, really.) When I looked at my responses at that section it drew a smirk on my face... As in: agreeing , then the next paragraph disagreeing... Like I was a binary minded person responding there. Coincidentally. I hope so. I especially hope thousands of future fans agree. Illusions of grandeur? Don't think so. From what I've seen from you in other threads, you are keeping a regular work routine... It helps if you visualise and work towards such chosen objectives. In my experience, it is a wise thing to keep such goals to yourself and not speak them publicly until you've made it an unshakeable conviction. The reason behind it, (besides me supporting you regarding it, more power to you) is that there are a great deal of vicious soul-crushers out there. People who can't stand you becoming more than them; realising your dreams in a powerful manner and they must minimise/fizzle out your flame. Not to mention the 'Person from Porlock' types. I know... I know. But evolution has made us nostalgic for our cages for a reason. However, for the most part, I think my cage is not a good one. Therefore I'm best off building a new and better one (since at the moment there is no replacing the cage as biology demands it for the children's sake). If your own cage, built by your own hands pleases you more, so be it. Or You could build one, that you can open and secure when necessary(a castle :-P). I remembered vaguely a quote that was something along the lines of locking a door to keep insane people out, instead of holding good people locked up in their homes... I would say I think more optimistically about what I'm heading to versus what I fear, if that is what you mean. I'm sorry, no it wasn't my focus. Like, I know the reason why I'm not spending as much time in a 'constructivity mode' is something that has clear reasons behind it. I was curious if you'd thought about to assess a usual day of yours to see, what proportions of your time is spent on thinking/visualising the things you want/comes next vs. the things that are worrisome in your estimation. (40, 60% or 70, 20%...etc.) I especially idealize the image of living in a Japanese-style... I have a vivid imagination too. Nicely done. Quite idyllic. Thanks for sharing a peek through 'this' window. And sometimes I forget! I have a tendency towards selfishness and narcissism, perhaps solipsism as well. I am always on guard to prevent myself from becoming a hypocrite and a wastrel. Those are some brave words in my eyes. Yes, one must be on guard constantly. I have verified it, there's a curious phenomenon happening with attention and how the brain splits up the available resources. It occurs once the brain is actively being engaged/stimulated ... it can't allocate as efficiently to other parts. I use it for banishing unproductive thoughts, when I'm aware it's happening. Use it. (I'm reminding myself too.) I don't want to get to know more people at the moment. I want to build! And I want to attract people as I show off my creation and work on profiting from it! I don't want to get to know Philly kids without futures! However I don't know where to look for for decent people around me. I think the best thing is to either find people I share a common interest in or a common work field in. If that's trully what you want/have decided, go for it. I don't think it is wise or something I would agree with. (I mean, not getting to know more people for the reasons you put.) Not because I don't think there are people who don't need as large quantity of social interactions... i.e. introvert vs. extrovert and the scale... No, I get it. Philly kids... sure, I get that too. Just an idea but thought you might be willing to answer it, and it's quite personal so don't worry if you don't want to reply... What if the reason you don't want to get to know more people is because you don't trust your skills at evaluating? Like here, for example. I think my social needs are satiated plenty by interacting on this forum and with my therapist. I doubt I'll be finding a wife here or on the internet though. However I'm not ready for a woman anyway. Haha... Just jumped in my mind the ''impregnate'' ask from a page or something, somewhere I must have read it or something...- wink, wink. Legend. (Balls, my fella. Big, boulder sized ones! Thumbs up on the boldness!) I get that plenty. I totally get that. However I don't want to make the effort to reach out because I'm not as of yet a man living as a successful example of my values... ...And I found a contradiction. To be a successful example, doesn't that include friends? I see the catch 22 I might have put myself in. My solution at the moment however is simply to put making friends on the distant back burner and rely on making them as I try to sell my book and invest the profits next year. Of course work-friends aren't exactly the same thing as personal friends, but I think I'm far more likely to make a meaningful friend by bumping into them on the common road of either writing or investing. (Kindly mocking 'yer...) You're right. People only start having real friends after their mid 20s. Until then, they are just preparing, preparing some more and then starting to aim, aiming...aiming some more...keep aiming...ai... What contradiction? Can't you buy the coat for the buttons? This is a 'pillar' looking topic from where I stand. And, I could be wrong or projecting some of my own ideas. But I doubt it. Do you think I'm way off? Well, like modern women, I do feel the stress to be a whore. However I guess I'm better at resisting it. Like that's really an accomplishment. I didn't like this part. It seemed as you were putting yourself down unjustly and ridiculing your true desires, painting with too broad of a brush. To give you a brief idea: The series follows primarily two characters and those close to them: Alois von Adlerheim, and Roland Heike. Alois was raised in a brutal orphanage until he escaped as pre-teen with four other children and spent 2 years getting educated at a church. Eventually, as a child laborer, he was discovered by a nobleman he was delivering a book to and that nobleman recognized him as the son of Haraldr von Adlerheim, the Hero of Copenhagen who saved Denmark and won great battles both as a guerilla and as a general during the Forty Years War. Alois is sent off with his albino girlfriend, Lia, to be raised by his father who secreted him in the orphanage to protect him since the capital was under assault and many noble children were secreted and hid as common children so not to be taken as hostages or killed. During the beginning, he spends his remainder years of youth in the arms of his father with his little half-sister, makes new friends and explores abstract ideas as he's destined to marry his cousin the Princess of Denmark and succeed her deceased father, Frederik the Great. His oath with his four friends remains strong as they regularly exchange letters from their thousand-mile distance accross the sea--from "Adlerhafen", in Lapland, to Copenhagen in Denmark. Meanwhile he makes new friends and crushes as he explores the Free City his father built, where "Man For Man" is the motto, property rights are sacred, and entrepreneurial spirit dominates the zeitgeist of the German settlers. Roland Heike is the grandson of (I am writing his story, which is parallel to Alois's, second so unlike Alois is pretty much done his 2/3rds of the first book--I mention this because there are a few things in the air) the illustrious Marshal Roland Heike, the Thuderbolt, "He Who Never Retreats", and the son of the less famous General Stefan Heike, who served under his father. Being born towards the end of the Forty Years War, Roland grew up in the tense and grim Dutch Democratic Republic as it was assaulted on all sides by the French, English, and North German rebels. As he's grown into a man, he's wanted to follow his father and grandfather's advice on becoming a civilian but has no idea what to do as a civilian. Meanwhile, since the French King was assassinated by a radical republican terrorist, the D.D.R. has been active in attempting to reform France as a republic while the nation is torn in four as several cadet branches seek to reunify France but with foreign backing causing them to conflict. With seemingly endless war and increasingly tyrannical government, Satanist groups are infiltrating the system's institutions and are becoming increasingly visible and radical amongst the lower classes. Meanwhile the existing Liberal Nationalist Party and Democratic-Republican Party are both losing favor to their more radical youth wings; the Radiant Cross Party and the Militant Citizen's Party. Wishing he was not forced to choose between two extremes, he struggles to maintain moral integrity as his republic falls down around him, and alongside his brothers, father, and uncles seeks to restore the order and relative peace of the Pre-War Republic. ...That's my brief for the beginning of the two major heroes. Both champions who represent different ideologies in the long run. It isn't particularly what I normally read. Having said that, I wouldn't be surprised to pick up some stuff you wrote out of curiosity. Sounds like a deep look into how dynasties 'work' amongst many other things, seeing it from within. Am I roughly in the same ball-park with my very broad generalisation? Whatever that means! Lol what am I having that you wish to be great?! :-P Just a "Russian joke" since I've learned there are no such expressions in Russian while you English-English have an awful lot of "polite" expressions! Even more so than we Americans! I wasn't trying to be 'extra'-polite. I didn't know what you were up to and wanted to wish you success at it, in general. Or, just that your day turned out to be a great one... Pick your choice. On the other hand, I fully accept you being suspicious of the 'silver tongued', the pretend characters. Sure, I would be too. EDIT: What do you mean by "syntax"? I looked up the definition so I guess I have some idea... But I'm fishing for compliments and specifics. I find it easy to do both; gist read and savour your written words. Obviously, you do a much better job at formatting your text too (,as SnapSlav has so constructively pointed it out to me, (i.e) seeing the difference in the two of your writing contrasted with mine.). Oi! You better not get fat on my compliments, young one! (With all, due, un-/deserved and genetic :-P respect!) Have a great one at whatever you're doing, Barnsley

203. Beardyman - You... Win! 204. Flanger - Options On The Fire 205. Lamb - Feela

No problem, I like (stretching the definition here a bit... ), you being you. Though, still ambivalent(not you, tis me, I suppose). "Beggars can't be choosers" contrasted with "don't wish for something you aren't prepared to receive". Still processing, evaluating. Be back soon.

Do you smoke @Ronin_3000 ? (I do.)

You bet, and quite the funky types...

Seeing wolves is one thing, acknowledgement of the existence of wolves is another. Acting on the belief that there are wolves, is the moment when it became real for more than just the person who acts. So, as a digital buoy in the sea of jumbled-up information, perhaps '01032018' is ought to be remembered. Ain't it?

Hello @Siegfried von Walheim I suppose, (as you predicted) here's one layman's take on things... I found your telling of the story VERY EMOTIONALLY ENGAGING, even though it having done so in ambivalent ways for me(it's me, not you... I assumed) . I can't walk past by it and must honour your clear and (what it seems to me) straight-from-the-heart ask. Dunno if it'll be of use to you, but I try my best to not let down the serious ask you put out. Perhaps it's useful for you if I shared a bit of my own past struggles, so that when you see some 'echoes' in my responses, you'll know roughly what had contributed to the perspectives I have developed over time. I was born into a family of a bunch of narcissists, where the men had been severely abused and neglected, the women were selfish and enablers/agents of sadism, personality erasure. Quite indicative that going back to my grandparents(they were? the first I know to had done it), all had decided to settle down far away from their parents to use it as an excuse for not being able to keep in touch with them as much (soft pre-defoo?, cowards). From a very young age, 8-9 I guess, I knew that I was also going to leave and quite literally was 'biting my time', until the day had arrived. At around age 18, I moved out and started living on my own with a family where the mother had left her 3+ children for a guy with more money and also took the ex to court for half of the wealth they had generated. The older middle child was my best friend back then, who still to this day has been avoiding, has not processed the severity (probably, as I cut ties with him 2 years ago) , the egregious nature of her decisions/the father's responsibility for choosing a horrible person as the mother. After leaving behind that realm as well, all I wanted to feel is safety from mad-abusive narcissists and be surrounded with people who had genuine curiosity and were willing to connect with their true-selves. Instead of projecting and constantly aiming to manipulate people for their own advantage mercilessly; I wanted to experience for the first time having spent 20+ years on the globe, what it was like to not have to fear, constantly experience disappointments. My desire was so strong, my critical thinking (self-protection, skills) was so lacking, that I had chosen to enter into a series of long-term relationships with (successively decreasing) softer but still narcissistic partners. I had not taken the time, effort to connect with my past to the point of internalising what had happened. In a way, you could say I was 'shell-shocked, bleeding, limping' and desperately looking for some cover. While passing by places where people were safe 'n sound, it pained me to see all the spots were taken up and I constantly had to keep moving forward as I made a commitment to never try to' game the system but play instead strictly fair and square'; only faith on my side that once I'll get 'there'. I'm not 'there' just yet, though I don't fear anymore and with each 'dime spent on self-wok' I know my steps lead me to ever firmer grounds. I'm still in therapy and planning to continue until I have verified my 'scars have stopped bleeding', good people feel comfortable in my company... as it is unacceptable for me otherwise, 'the ball stops with me' or I'm still not doing something right. There's no other way I can think of / wish to go. I can't deny, philosophy had saved my life. It literally did. About that, maybe some other time... My observations, hopefully they benefit you... Some of them are very hard questions, please believe me when I say I don't treat them lightly or without respect. Why did he choose a lifestyle where he was too far away, to be able to protect the vulnerable, the dependent when necessary? How did he end up choosing such a horrible person? Has he acknowledge the fact that he knew, that he enabled it? Whhhh... Shhhh... speechle... <the smallest fine print: to me that's more like 'shocking fact', not to correct you or anything...> paraphrasing: "Stupid people get them like candy at Halloween"... I don't understand why ' platonic '. Could you fill me in, on it? What do you think is the reason behind seeing this uncle so little while growing up? Would it be practical to ask him? I don't deny your characterisation at all. I accept it. ("shitty, manipulative, Democrat, cucky, verbally manipulative, and all around terrible people.") My second question here is, can democrat leaning people be virtuous, if so, does it matter what political views they hold? (So that you know, I ask myself the same question time-to-time.) 1. Completely agree with your hesitation, I think you're smart to keep an eye on the likelihood of 'the fins belonging to sharks rather than playful dolphins'.... 2. Absolutely disagree, (coming off as a binary person all of a sudden eh?! Coincidentally.) Take it for what's it worth: I THINK YOU'RE SOMEBODY. I CONSIDER YOUR IDEAS WORTHY OF ATTENTION AND LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOUR ARC OF FURTHER DEVELOPMENT, CURRENTLY! I think, when you have spent enough time and depth exploring the topic in various setups...blood-ties? It won't be more than just a part of the ABC of your childhood/adulthood false limitation. ("A.ccidental B.iological C.age of childhood" - Stefan Molyneux) You can't know what the future holds but you can be sure you won't like it if you don't do things for the right reasons. (echo) I didn't have to force myself to do what I wanted to, once I understood the full extent of what it would have meant, had I not done so. I'm not saying, it was easy. I'm saying, it was the only SANE option. Hell, I wish I started assessment earlier, that I spent more effort being observant and asking those essential questions sooner. It's all I could muster completely on my own. Do the work, only blame yourself if it's just, fair... ... Me thinks. Yes. I can see that. Would you say that you're spending more or less time thinking/visualising the things you want vs. the things you don't, proportionately? You must harden your skin, strengthen detoxifying mechanisms against the unhealthy propaganda / evacuate 'alien influences' ASAP so that you remain, you. Conscious or unconscious BS coming from people, you MUST stay vigilant and guard your true-self, the most precious gift you received from life and if you loose it... i.e. - ° What's in it for me? ° Am I being treated with respect, virtuous love, genuine curiosity? btw, it goes the other way too. Unless you have a wider choice of more wells with clear water, returning to the only one you know so far, doesn't mean there aren't more in the area. It just means, you know where to find that one refreshing, good tasting source of water. Nobody should just switch their habit of quenching their thirst at the usual spot, for a sign scribbled onto a cardboard saying 'fresh water here'. Evaluation, knowledge, confirmation. But if you aren't looking, you won't... Some wells have more water in them than others, sometimes our thirst is greater than what the available water in one single well can quench. Yes, I assumed you chose that. What if you took back a bit, having seen how one extreme feels/looks like. Just a bit, to see if that waz even more desirable? Taking the idea for a brief test-drive? I think that's great. I think that's evidence, that you're a feeling & living, conscious being. (phhue... not a Russian bot, but a real human being. Relieved. ) Think of this. You can't and won't lose that you've never had. If someone chooses your friendship, they do it for your virtues and will make a conscious investment for it staying in their life... same as you. Ergo, in a healthy relationship, both of you are 'invested' in each other and wish to care for the relationship consciously, knowing that other than staying virtuous the connection will be eventually severed. In other words, it will be evident to you because by being the real you, you're more/less liked and vice versa the same for the other person from your perspective. Do things for the right reasons. Having the right support groups to talk about issues like this, do result in reducing doubts. Missing such environments tend to increase, strengthen those doubts. It is for a good reason, why you haven't... likewise, it's also for another good reason why you (in my clumsy estimation) seemingly tend to beat yourself up about it. (?) Stay curious, don't make pre-emptive judgements. You'll figure it out, the right way I hope. This looks like a fantastic idea for a novel, that if you put your mind to it, I'm sure would be a fascinating and powerful read. (Having seen what you can do with syntax and flow of ideas.) Thinking is writing. (Why do you think Jordan B Peterson's assessment suite is sooo powerful. Add to that someone with a talent for writing, well...) Well said, remember that! I recommend the most humbly humble humblest of all... (to myself also) Lastly, thank you Siegfried von Walheim for sharing. Have a great one, Barnsley

201. Dj Shadow - Napalm Brain Scatter 202. Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov - Russian Easter Festival Overture (Op. 36)

That sounds like an honest response. Appreciate that.

Same as if governments should be put in charge of deciding what amounts to 'wrongthink'. I see no difference whatsoever. Sustaining free expression, speech, yeah I could see it being somewhat justifiable.

Hi @Ronin_3000 Perhaps I'm wrong... 1. Are you looking to cause harm? (conscious, weighed outcomes...) 2. Are you trying to provoke people here? Because by acting as such, you'll be instrumental in seeing suffering. This part is a long shot... And it won't make your own suffering any bearable, only momentarily and for a worse thirst afterwards. 'Digging, while in a ditch.'

Hi @Chauncey Tinker I've noticed that your post has changed compared to the quotes I took. Curious.

By the by... IN SPAIN, there's a similar case with Josep Miquel Arenas, 24, the artist (rapper) known as Valtonyc. p.s. (Although, I'm in a sense more puzzled since many tabloids had basically printed in letter what he took for a ride in 'speech'. Dystopia.)

The 200th song. For you. All of you. And, I'm glad. many more to come.. Keep enjoying! 200. Fink - Pretty Little Thing p.s. (it's cheesy and all, still... there are gals named 'Faith', 'Desire'... the one name... 'Eu-roh-pea'...hope she knows what she's getting into)

For the love of all that's fine and dandy, people of the 'rainy aisles' WAAKE the fiddlestick UP! (Here's a really good video from Styxhexenhammer666) Appologies for the coarseness, but it's important! Very. Dooh!

Hmmm... Bombastic Spastics? Hang in there fella, people know who you aren't. p. s. (maybe over 60s don't, it's a possibility)

Hello @tarker12 As much as I would like to proudly acknowledge your compliment, I must admit it’s less than that. I did remember a few vague details of the convo; probably it being memorable has to do with some of my personal focus back then. I actually listened to it for the first time somewhere between 1.5 - 2years ago . I really like how you put it. Sounds like you’ve achieved a lot more strength and curiosity to face challenging questions, taking more responsibility than before. This is very interesting. I have not heard much about this approach. Does is create bridges between your conscious and unconscious over time? The other thing I just want to briefly mention, to put it out there (only me is the culprit, not you) is how strange I perceive when you’re referring to yourself in plural… or rather the fact that it’s a solid persona almost like a lil’ bro you’re taking care of. (Sorry if my way of describing is far from desirable/accurate, feel free to correct me.) Is it always like that for you, or occasionally it is malleable and goes in-between stages of stand-alone vs. united and indistinguishable from the whole? Two things have occurred to me while reading these lines. 1. (I’d assume you had already looked into this angle but one can never know…) Have you given any consideration to the possibility that some of the issues you’re experiencing could be rooted in physical causes? (eating routine & diet, sleeping habit, work-life balance, sufficient and appropriate physical engagement, hormone levels… ) Could be a flop, but what if with some simple changes you could further aid yourself in achieving/having even more energy, a substantial boost to your daily life? 2. Finding the right therapist can be a challenge. When I was in therapy, I had changed around the same number of times too and with each new person the overall experience got objectively better. I wrote it up to the simple reason, that when you know more about what you’re looking for, you’ll be better at spotting it/acting assertively to provide it for yourself. I think that’s the right thing to do. I would do the same. Good for you! Hahaha… Yes, mainly. You summarised it well, generally that’s what I wanted to say. The other part with the ‘blessing or a challenge’… I just wanted to draw your attention to ‘distinguishing’ and the importance of seeing things for what they are. Having a strict viewpoint regarding beneficial principles is a ‘blessing’ while the same cemented-down mindset when not wanting to face certain issues is ‘a challenge’. For starters, it can help if we know at least what we aren’t ready to discuss, try, look into… i.e. It’s different if I know about myself that at times I’m wasteful and tend to overspend than if I’m dismissive about the topic, never want to even consider the possibility. (as in: ‘’Me? Noooo way…! How do I know? I just know…Pffft,’’ …dismissal. Not good.) Here are a few other conversations that might be of utility for you (do tell): Question 2, (lies) Question 1, (on strike) Question 3, (free will) Question 5, (common) Question 1, (bubble) Question 4, (un/conscious) Question 4, (kids) Question 1, (negotiations) Keep up the good work! p.s.(edit) {Ooobviously, the links are my ideas on what might be of substance, follow-up realisations... as always, I'm open to the possibility of them not matching with your 'currently-occupied time-space reality' and (*2) as always looking forward to your feedback/input, whatever it might be.}

H.A.W. / 16. Members of Mayday – Sonic Empire

198. Pink Floyd - Breathe In The Air 199. Ottorino Respighi - Fontane di Roma

I don't believe for a second that the people outside didn't commit fully to chaos, disarray. They knew what they were doing to a certain degree and what's worse they were are also fully conscious that it was only... barely 'explainable' (not moral) 'to JUST a certain degree'. When a critical mass is achieved, it no longer matters how it came about but where does it lead to and how quickly/slowly. So much has been forgotten, a little bit more remembering could do 'wonders'.

[excerpt from the description of the video] [...] "The 900 or so people who attended (who comported themselves admirably and thoughtfully throughout) were subject to a continual 90-minute barrage of noise generated by the protestors, who leaped up on the stained glass windows lining the hall and banged continually on them, breaking one. Inside, we could see shadowy figures dimly outlined through the colored glass. The outside doors were barricaded. One protestor was caught on film saying "Lock them in and burn it down." The din was substantial and ominous, although it is much attenuated in this video, due to the nature of the microphones used, which were designed to pick up speech close at hand. " [...] " No one who was at this event will forget it. Not good. Not good at all. " [...] There are these 'flash-like' moments in life (akin to : The Devil's Advocate, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves - elevator scene) when I have trouble telling my mind that seeing demons is not necessarily an only religious experience. There's for sure another few thousands, hundreds of thousands people (millions over time, hundreds of millions perhaps) now in the world since then, contemplating in their deepest cellars of their minds, how should these imagery be interpreted as. No doubt about it, they look like demons, sound like demons... are they demons, really?

Hi FDR team, Interestingly, it has been mostly the guiding principle in how I had defooed back then. (However clumsily, but it just was the only SANE option. Before any red pills. A decade earlier.) Truth comes with responsibility. Choices are made. History is made.