_LiveFree_

I don't even know how to respond to someone who suggests that the transgender phenomenon is a recent development because of plastic. There have been non-binary people throughout history. There is even a commandment in the Old Testament Bible that says men can't dress like women and vice versa. If they wrote it down that means it was happening. I don't think they had hormone laden plastics back then.

OK, since you are attempting to really drive home the point that gender is a social construct... I found this short video to be informative. BTW, this guy agrees with you. Maybe the problem as you alluded to in your earlier post is our concept of gender and how it relates to biological sex, but also what transgender actually means. "Transgender" itself could be a poor term for the condition transfolk suffer from. Their brains are expecting to receive either testosterone or estrogen, yet receives the opposite resulting in psychological strain that is intense enough to push some transfolk to suicide. While hormone replacement therapy is enough for some transfolk, sometimes the psychological strain is not completely relieved until the body itself is also changed to match whatever the body would have developed into had it been receiving the correct hormone from birth (or a few months leading up to birth). To put it another way, what if you were not given a choice. You were forced to have your genitals operated on to be the opposite of what you have now. You are forced to go on HRT and live as the opposite sex. How would you feel about that? This is a good podcast http://www.trans-ponder.com/episodes/episode001.mp3

This!

Ok, thats why I asked. Wasn't sure. And holy crap I'm sorry to hear that

I'm wondering if you're implying that you would not associate with a transgender person? You are obviously free to, but I'm wondering why so.

I don't think you understand what it means to be transgender. It doesn't mean you don't like being your biological sex, it means you feel happy, comfortable, and right when you can express your true gender, which is not the gender you were assigned at birth. To transition is the opposite of running away. Telling a transgender person that they "need to come to terms with their assigned gender at birth" is like telling a homosexual that they need to come to terms with being sexually attracted to the opposite sex. I know this is difficult to understand for cisgender individuals as they live their whole lives in congruency. Just because something seems weird to you doesn't make it a dysfunction of the mind. Maybe, just maybe, you haven't researched enough to really understand what is going on. Also, being transgender is not a mental illness. It is a biological/physiological state. Transgender is just like being born intersex (both male and female genitalia), or conjoined twins, or having a heart defect at birth. The only difference is that the physical manifestation of it is not obvious to non-medically trained persons (just like a heart defect). We don't tell people with deformities to "find a better solution to the problem" than having corrective surgery. If you have cancer and the doctors can cut it out of you, you get it cut out. You don't "find a better solution to the problem". (I don't even know what that is supposed to mean) What solution do you think is bad?

The same thing was said about homosexuality. You're wrapping bigotry up in pseudo-philosophy. How do you know he hasn't received therapy? Have you considered that transgenderism is an actual medical condition that most transgender folk hide? And that it takes an enormous amount of work and courage to go full time and be completely out as gender congruent? Also, transgender does not equal homosexual. To quote the Diane Sawyer interview, "Sexuality is who you want to go to bed with. Gender is who you want to go to bed as." It takes an incredible amount of work, money, and self-exploration to make a transition from one gender to the other. And if the person is happy and not hurting anyone else, what do you care? What's truly fascinating about having such a public figure come out like this is that it draws out the deep dysfunctions of certain people. These people typically come from a religious backgrounds, even if they are no longer religious, and want to question the public figure's authenticity. Also, the issue in question is far more often than not centered around genitals. If you "question" whether someone needs therapy or not because they are making peaceful life choices in order to increase their happiness that have zero ramifications for you, please turn that question around and put it where it belongs, on yourself.

I'm so sorry, NotDarkYet. The hole of a missing parent is a difficult space to navigate. While my father isn't dead, he hasn't been in my life for over a decade. When he was in my life I never got the attention and mentoring I needed either. I cannot praise Internal Family Systems Therapy enough. I learned to be my own father, and damn am I good at it. You can do the same. http://www.selfleadership.org

I am eagerly awaiting this show!

The World Professional Association for Transgender Health Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender-Nonconforming People http://admin.associationsonline.com/uploaded_files/140/files/Standards%20of%20Care,%20V7%20Full%20Book.pdf

Right, but what I'm talking about are the true relationships between each class from a psychological standpoint and reordering their classification to reflect their station. What I laid out was not what you'd learn in a history book. Nor am I trying to rewrite history but simply to interpret the relationships between the classes on a psychological level at the onset of revolution.

The Matrix compared to Internal Family Systems Therapy: Human Beings = the physical body Machines = the mind Aspects of the Machines: Deus Ex Machina (Machine God) = managers Agents/Squidies = firefighters Exiles = Exiles Neo = the Conscious Self; his purpose is to bring peace to all of the warring factions (to end the war). The body has desires, managers keep the exiles locked up and under control, firefighters are brought in when exiles or the body come up and upset the established order of things. I have found this comparison to be far more with the implications than any other interpretation. For other comparisons, look at societal structures right before a revolution. For instance, the French Revolution saw 3 classes; the First Estate, Second Estate, and Third Estate. These are somewhat misnamed as the First and Third Estates are of the same class. The true "First Estate" would have been royal family. Royal family = managers Nobles/Clergy = firefighters 3rd Estate = exiles (the people) The human mind manifests itself in the world. It can't not. Everything human beings do is a reflection of what is going on on the inside.

Hi billkat and welcome to the forums! I found The Ultimate Guide to Journaling by Hannah Braime to be helpful. http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Journaling-Hannah-Braime-ebook/dp/B009HP2T6C I don't know if this will apply to you, but the big thing about journaling for me is to simply be honest in the moment about how I'm feeling and explore that. There is always something to write about as long as you don't try and control what you are writing about. I found the techniques in the book mentioned above can help get around fear blockages when I'm having trouble. What EndTheUsurpation said about A/B/Z. I haven't found it to be very useful as it is more of a conclusion than curiosity.

https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/42217-offering-therapy-services-through-skype/ I've heard good things about Courtney from people I've talked with in person. Might be worth a shot. over skype, first 20 minute intro session is free. Hang in there! Sounds like your life has been and is hell. I'm so sorry for this! You're doing the right things to get out and have a better life!

Careful there. RTR is not "when you did this, I felt this." <-- That is a story and is not necessarily a true statement. RTR is this... *something happens* then you say, "I am feeling upset and anxious right now." The difference is twofold: 1) you're not telling a story, you're sharing your experience as it happens. Not WHY you think you are having an experience, just the experience itself. 2) When you create a story about how they did something that caused you to feel a certain way, you are not being vulnerable, and in fact are putting the other person on the defensive. I know it's difficult and I still struggle with it, too. But please be careful when talking about RTR. We certainly don't want to confuse emotional manipulation for emotional vulnerability. That's a dark road. This is also why you do not want to RTR with people you know are abusers. Why open yourself up to be abused? Now if you come from an abusive home, it's difficult to break away. By being vulnerable with abusive parents we gain experiential knowledge that when you are completely vulnerable these people will pull the trigger. This interaction is only necessary in order to gain clarity on the true dynamic of the relationship so you can end it. It is not a blueprint for all interactions. We live in a very sick world, do not take your mask off unless you know it's safe. Keeping your mask on doesn't mean you can't make a difference. On the idea of practicing these interactions, I highly recommend IFS therapy as a means for this. Not only do my personality parts like to genuinely disagree with me, but they are really really good at role playing these types of situations.

Remember that time when you were first trying to walk and you fell flat out your face in the least graceful movement you'll likely ever make? Well, without that first attempt you'd never have learned how to do so many other awesome things. This may not have been what you had in mind as to how this would go, but for a first attempt it's pretty good. There were no fights, no yelling, no spitting, no cop calling, no crowds attacking, no riots. One thing you could try if you encounter a similar situation where you need to get around a playing child is to make your address to them a bit more personal. Use, "Excuse me young sir," or "Excuse me young miss," with a big smile of course. Then be sure to flash that big smile at the parent, too. The smile and show of respect could actually prevent any abuse from occurring in the moment and might reduce the parent's stress level. The likelihood of permanently altering how a parent treats their child in a brief encounter is close to zero. So think about what emotions you'd like to see from the parent and try to bring those into the situation as an example in order to alter only the present moment. Now in more extreme cases of abuse anger is a completely appropriate response. This will draw the parent's attention from the kid to you while showing the kid that what the parent is doing may actually not be acceptable. If a parent is that worked up, you won't be able to affect their mood no matter what you do. Just remember, while your emotions are completely valid no matter what they are, expressing them to someone who is already showing a complete failure to fire empathy neurons is not always the best course of action. Your inner world is for you and those few special people who have earned your trust, not everyone. Anyway, these situations are tough because you're dealing with a full grown adult who has the emotional self-knowledge of the toddler they are abusing.

I'd think you'd be surprised.

"Abuses" isn't strong enough a word for what she did to that little girl. This woman should be in a jail cell for the rest of her life. She could have killed her.

I'll give it a shot. 1) social repercussions 2) It's still safe for parents to abuse their children in public for the most part. Rarely are abusive parents confronted. I've got a couple of questions. 1) when an individual is unwilling to face their own abusive parents, where does that anger go? 2) internet forum psychologizing is good for ...what?

Why do you think that was your initial reaction which was also strong enough to bring you back after two weeks?

I wasn't going to gain anything. I've already gained what I needed long before I posted. If I wanted to make people just feel angry, I would have posted videos of children being torn apart in war. Didn't do that, wouldn't do that. There is nothing we can do to stop those kinds of atrocities. Why are you so interested in this thread?

To trigger an emotional response. what do you mean "overload of moral outrage"?

This thread has been dead for two weeks, why come back to it?

How do you feel about finding a therapist? There are even a few that post here who do sessions over skype.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your childhood experiences. No doubt these were just a few of many messed up things that went on. How old are you? Have you ever been in therapy?