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Ok, with the higher profile interviews coming around I think that regular national appearances are just around the corner. Maybe we can provide some wardrobe suggestions for Stefan so that he not only looks good but sharp and relaxed, too. I'm no fashion guru and I think Stefan does a pretty decent job with his appearance. Let's see if we can take it to the next level. Here are some colors he has worn that really look good on him... In my opinion, the colder softer colors bring out the blue in his eyes (no homo) while softening the glare off his forehead *snicker*. Warm colors are not as effective and can take away from the white on blue coloring while harsh tones like reds and oranges and yellows clash. I'd stay away from greens, too. The shape of his head works better with collarless shirts. While typical business shirts with collars are fine, the roundness of his head looks like a marble resting on a spire. By wearing collarless, a degree of regalness emerges. The white dome sits kingly on top of square shoulders of grey, for instance. Notice how in the last pic the red background can make his skin look pink. Definitely not what you want. But the dark colored t-shirt works nicely. The following we really want to stay away from If you're going to wear a t-shirt, make sure the collar is nice and tight around the neck and not sagging or a v-neck Also, in my opinion Stef looks much better without facial hair. (or back hair, HD cameras pick it all up!) However, don't go full bald. Keeping some nicely trimmed hair on the head feels more approachable. I don't even like the stripes on Schiff, but I think they work better than on Stef. Too bright, but can be offset with a dark blazer. More to come. Add your suggestions. Please use example pictures. Fashion is important in the public eye. It's why there are armies of fashion peeps employed by politicians and celebrities.

Yes it is. Biggest bust yet. Like Michael Moore post Taco Bell binge bust.

Add your responses below ..... "Really? Well an Obama led nation loses $1.5 Trillion every year. You think that is sound judgment?" Or "Those were tough economic times and yet I was still able to turn it around. That is what this country needs since we face a yearly deficit of over a trillion dollars." Anymore?

The following vid keeps getting taken down due to copyright.

For your consideration, "...that 9/11 and the Oklahoma City bombing were inside jobs." Then this face immediately after that comment, only for a brief moment. This isn't about proving a conspiracy. It's about keeping her out of the White House. (video link: )

So if a parent encourages homosexuality, then that means homosexuality. If a parent discourages homosexuality, then that means homosexuality. ????????????????

Do you not like computer programming? Or is it you haven't had any training? http://www.hackreactor.com This has been a highly recommended program. It's 12 weeks long I think, but it's incredibly intense. The average income of graduates is around $100K or something. They even have a financial aid program where you don't pay until you are employed. It's interesting that the things you list as "what you'd be good at" are very low income or growth potential. And the things you list as "can't/won't" are high income with lots of potential for growth. How do you feel about financial, career, emotional, and familial success?

referenced around the 1 hour 12 minute mark http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/10/10/internet_trolls_dark_tetrad_personality_defects/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad

You do know Stefan wrote two books advocating anarchy, right?

Hi Christo! Way to go with the working with IFS! I've taken an extended break from doing any work for reasons I won't go into. I love the IFS approach and made great strides quickly when I was working with it. It sounds like an exile is blending with you when the angry managers/firefighters are coming up. Maybe try some type of totem? Like hold a shoe in your hands and as long as you hold the shoe in your hands you will remain balanced, calm, and in Self. (it can be any object that helps you) When the angry parts come up, ask questions and give honest vulnerable responses. an example of an interaction i had went something like this... Self: I can feel you there. What is your name? Angry Part: F*** YOU!! YOU WORTHLESS PATHETIC PIECE OF S***!! Self: You are very angry, I can see. What are you feeling? AP: GODDAMMIT YOU'RE F****** RETARDED!! I'M OBVIOUSLY ANGRY! Self: What are you angry about? AP: YOU AND THIS STUPID PATHETIC LIFE! Self: Ok, I really want to talk with you, and I understand you are angry. I agree with you there are parts of our life that we don't like and I haven't always acted in the best manner. But to continue talking with you, may I ask that you lower your voice? I can hear you loud and clear and want to continue listening to what you have to say. AP: [takes a moment, calms down a bit, then continues] Why do you suck s*** so much? Self: Thank you very much for lowering your voice. It's much easier for me to processes what you're saying this way. May I also ask that you do not insult me when you speak to me? In return, I will show you the same respect. Also, I promise to not shut you off or turn away from you like I have in the past. I'm so very sorry for neglecting you and shutting you out. My goal in speaking with you is finding out what it is you need, figuring out how to get it, and negotiating so that we both can get what we need and want. It went something like that. Your parts will always know when you're being superficially polite and apologetic. Be honest, be brave, be straightforward. Give to your parts what you want from them, just like any other relationship. Keep in mind that with highly charged parts it may take more than one or many convos to get them to come around. That's ok. If you keep approaching them in a consistent manner they will warm up to you.

You're stating your experiences. You didn't ask any questions, so I'm not sure what you're looking for. And just to be clear, the article wasn't talking about "eye contact". It was referring to an intense and sustained eye contact, which is fairly creepy.

What interests you about it?

Considering it's a wiki article, I'd imagine lots of people did. There are resource links at the bottom of the article. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath I found this one to be an interesting read.

Aaaah, but then when you begin to show disinterest they try and bait you to get you to re-engage! "If you don't respond, well that means you concede!" Or something like that. It's like that big fire ball in The Fifth Element. They can only grow if they successfully make you hate them. (I think Stef said something like that recently)

This article is related... "How To Spot A Sociopath" http://www.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Sociopath

Again, you did not answer my question, not that this is wrong or bad. I'm just acknowledging that you didn't answer my question. I know that you are doing all of those things you listed. What I don't know is why you avoid talking about seeing a therapist. Nor am I trying to guilt you into seeing a therapist or pressure you into it. That would almost ensure you got nothing out of it if you did go. So this was my question.. "You continually avoid talk of seeing therapist. Why?" You do not have to answer if you do not want to, but I do think exploring this will help you greatly. (Something else to note is that Stefan strenuously encourages anyone who is thinking of breaking from their family to do it under the guidance of a therapist. My own experience of this is breaking from my father for 10 years and mother for 2 before having to reconnect with them in order to properly and finally break from them.)

Do you see a difference between feeling an emotion and behavior?

Fantastical post, again, Kevin. I wonder if we could get this stickied?

Thanks for this, Kevin. It's given me something to think about.

I don't smoke weed, but if I did I imagine my thought processes would mimic those of exhaustion. So what if...really what if our perception of time moving faster as we get older is due to the rapidly increasing speed of the expansion of the universe. Since space and time are the same thing and space itself is expanding at an increasing rate, time must be increasing, too....right? Not only that, but if space ever reversed course 180 degrees and started contracting, time would go in reverse.....right? Amiright? Dark energy is the amniotic fluid pouring out of the big bang cosmic vagina depositing quantum fetal (fecal? Maybe!) particles into the awaiting hands of father time, ....who treats us all like the red headed adopted middle step-child monkey thing. That ended darkly. Amniotic fluid seems nice. Imma go join P-Jo and have a salad.... after i take a nap.

You're doing great work, so I gave ya another

So firstly, thank you, Kevin. You're right, I wasn't looking for any apologies because it's been too long. You apologized anyway. I want to apologize to you for taking out my frustration with MMX toward you. I was worked up and should have stepped away sooner like you said. (I did end up walking away from the board for a few months after this.) You were right and I was wrong on that. Secondly, at the time of this thread, MMX had a positive rep count of about 230 or something and has since then managed to drop down to -210. That's impressive. The reason for that is because of the behavior he has displayed time and again on these forums, in this thread, and in his call with Stef. It was this behavior I was (very poorly) calling out. The irony of him claiming that his triple digit positive rep count is evidence that he wasn't behaving poorly is not lost on me. What is not so with the cool is how a sophist of his caliber can gain that much positive rep here. What am I after for posting in this thread after 9 months? I can see bullcrap coming from a long way off. But I have difficulty knowing how to handle it while it is still a long way off. In the last few months I've gained quite a bit more patience in this regard and the fortitude to not act early. However, I still feel anxiety when faced with bullies. Especially when those bullies are sophists. I don't like the way I handled myself in this thread, even though I was correct about MMX and the topic at hand. So what I don't understand (or a skill that I am lacking) is how to end this kind of junk sooner rather than later. Empirically, the approach I used did not work at all. It was emotionally based and resulted in me needing to leave the forum and MMX continuing to do what he does for 9 more months. On a forum with someone who posts as much as he does, or in life with someone who talks too much, or with anyone who is talented at sophistry and uses social humiliation to control situations, what does a person do to handle those situations? I understand walking away, but sometimes I don't think that tactic is enough. (maybe that is incorrect) Pointing out his errors took quite a long time to work and only serves to strengthen how he feels about his position. This issue is pervasive here to the point were a moderator was sucked in to MMX's whirlwind of words and we almost lost an important member of the community (who has quite a lot to offer) because of it (I won't name the member or moderator nor link to where it happened. I will say it didn't have anything to do with me.). Did you see something I didn't? Do you agree with MMX's manner of interacting or find nothing wrong with it? So, no I was not trying to cut MMX down by wantonly insulting him. I still believe every word I said. And I thank you for trying to head me off and direct me toward a better method. My frustration stems from the fact that so few people were standing up to him. All of this, but I'm still open to the possibility I'm being a dick. Either way, your feedback would be appreciated.

Ok, so you didn't respond to my questions and then, again, made an attempt to convince me that your motivations for training are solid. This whole post in a response to a post where I specifically said,... "You say you are not exercising to the point of addiction. Fair enough, I accept that." So, it's ok. I don't need to be convinced of that anymore. But it is interesting that you would go on about it again, while not answering my other questions. (To be fair, you did answer my question about you having a physical trainer.) So how about we cut to the chase. You continually avoid talk of seeing therapist. Why?

You're whole family, immediate and extended, knows because they are all holding that same rage inside. It spreads like a virus that no one talks about. What makes you different is that you are now turning to face it and you have a real chance to stop it. If you haven't already, I recommend listening to this podcast http://www.fdrpodcasts.com/#/1575/you-are-not-alone-freedomain-radio-interviews-dr-richard-schwartz-freedomain-radio and this one.. http://www.fdrpodcasts.com/#/1815/flourishing-through-self-attack-a-mecosystem-listener-conversation

brilliant. I know that you've had bad experiences with therapists in the past, but it's time my friend. http://selfleadership.org/practitioners.html if you can't find one close by then use www.talkspace.com You'll never have children who love and respect you as long as you don't love and respect yourself. And you are not loving and respecting yourself when you hold those emotions back. A therapist can help you safely release this rage. One thing you're right about is that it will consume you, but only if you keep holding it in.